Okay, this is gonna hurt.
First, please stop whining.
I can see that you are unsatisfied with your life - most of us are. We all have our problems, there is a hell in all of us. But somehow we learned how to deal with it, we had to. In this dog-eat-dog world controlled by SJ there is no other choice but to bottle up our emotions.
That doesn't mean that your problems aren't important. In fact, for you they are the most important problems in the world because, well, they are your problems. That's alright and no one is in the position to judge about this.
Second, don't try to live up to others expectations. There will always be humans who hate you for merely existing or the wrong skin colour, wrong nationality and god knows what else. You are not able to satisfy everyone. Contrariwise it is important that you satisfy at least yourself. Forget about people who loathe you for being yourself.
Third, don't compare yourself to legends. Galileo, Newton, Da Vinci, etc. those may fall in the category "genius" but they are not real persons, they are myths who have been made larger than life by (pseudo-) historians and sometimes even by themselves. Y'know, many so-called geniuses had horrible lives and never sold anything during or got never acknowledged during their lifetimes. They still had to do lots of work on their own. Boring and tedious work for years - with uncertain outcome. They had flaws like veryone else; bad habits and weak characters.
People often idolize such folks and remove their banality to have a statue to raise.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to say it's wrong to strive for the impossible but it is of great importance to rationalize your goals and that failure is possible but not the end of the world.
Just do your best so that you can say at the end of your life At least, I tried it. With that you've already achieved more than most humans.
... I've heard nothing good about them mixing with INxPs
