Question about conformity

[Samchalant]

Hoi

So as nobody knows.. I discovered this INTP thing like two or three days ago

Its all thats been on my mind since, which INTPractically means that it has dominated my life for the period

My question is

Did you guys, like me, from a very early age distinct yourself from everyone else, including your family, like you were a slightly different species of homo sapiens?

I probably already know the answer, but it leads up to a more subtle question:

Did you guys, unlike me, embrace the fact that you were different right away, or were you, like me, trying half-assedly (always knowing deep down it was unnatural and fundamentally wrong) to conform and be like everyone else?

Ive lived 20 odd years on a lonely and surprisingly poorly populated rock in the very north atlantic.

For the past two years or so I have been seriously challenging the aforementioned idea that following the norm is the most secure and therefore best pursuit. It is only three days ago though when I found this forum and read the 'You know youre an INTP when..' thread that my Ti finally let go of this useless and contradictory shit

--------------------
Side question...

why havent all the users on this forum taken over the world already? we could if we wanted to...

 

[bloozie]

Being different comes naturally to me, I'm sure it does so for everyone else.
Trying to conform to everyone else, though whatever generalize statement that may be, was more deserved of a lack of interest from me. I only pursued what I was interested in and if that projected me toward a certain category, I was more than happy to be in it.
Putting this into context... let says classes. Would you do exactly what the teacher said or would manipulate the rules to work to your advantage? I chose the latter. This isn't textbook MBTI, but for me it just felt natural just to do so.

Although, during High School, I did embrace my individuality... but I questioned it.

 

[Samchalant]

This is exactly what I wish I had done

but when I was a kid I did everything my teacher said and I believed any established authority to be an absolute one

now I have quite a more substantial and realistic view on the matter

*edit*

well I didnt believe anything any established authority told me, but I was bewildered and therefore convinced that everyone, who has at least a year older than me, knew better than me

 

[EyeSeeCold]

When it came to classroom activities I'd prefer to joke around, even in front of the teacher. I was always the quiet rebel. Whenever I had a teacher I respected I'd gladly follow the rules (provided they were logical of course and were reasonable).

I knew I was different since the age of 4-7. Though I didn't have a problem with it until high school, which brought me much suffering. I've started to embrace my natural tendencies since about a year a ago, marked by my venture into western astrology.

 

[Samchalant]

western WHAT

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Lol, only because I found my personality and a few others correlated with the zodiac signs. I've since moved on.

 

[KazeCraven]

I define myself by my uniqueness. Always have. Did I try to conform? Sure.

Once I discovered this truth about my personality, I have since only pursued conformity for other pragmatic reasons, such as leverage and knowledge.

 

[chuhulil]

Yes. No matter what I did, I just wasn't like others.

However, I later found that I liked this.

It actually took me a while to completely realize that I was different. I was always pretty quiet and everythng, and I never really talked. Then, I later began to get interested in debating, which sparked a change in me. I then realized how different.

At first it kind of annoyed me, but then I realized that I really didn't have a problem with it.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Hey! Become an engineer so you can have an excuse about why you have no personality. I do it all the time. ^_^

At ye old debating society the other night a girl verbalized an observation that I don't talk much unless debating. I replied with 'I'm an engineer'. All is right with the world.

No one wants to hear how you have overcome limitations of various programming languages, in what circumstances you should integrate by substitution rather than integrate by parts or obligations resulting from tacitly consenting to societal contracts.

The hippies don't want to know the flaws you found in the assumptions ipcc made when modelling climate variation regarding carbon dioxide concentrations. They get quite upset with you actually.

When people invite you to talk politics or economics they do not want to hear how various so called liberal political parties are actually neo-feudalists or fascists rather than advocates of free markets.

...etc...

They just do not want to converse about highfalutin topics. Hence, these leaves one with our persuasion very little to form connections with other people.

I still remember my last gf (enfp) asking me various questions on literally any topics and I would converse the information and two minutes later she would tell me to shut up because she can't understand what I am speaking about. SO so sO So depressing.

Ohh, you will try to conform and you won't succeed.


Don't open the spoiler; it consists of life stories.

Spoiler

I have failed at forming connections with people. I had more friends before I started university three and half years ago. Surprisingly they were all drug addicts and petty delinquents. I joined various university clubs such as debating and pubic speaking; I became quite proficient at both but not at making connections in the organisations.

Apparently I am just too fucking intelligent but not a genius. It must confront people

After receiving awards for every subject, the dux award and presenting my valedictorian speech, my high school peers that I was on good terms with sunned and avoided me afterwards. Very unsettling.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

At ye old debating society the other night a girl verbalized an observation that I don't talk much unless debating. I replied with 'I'm an engineer'. All is right with the world.

EPIC.

 

[giaduck]

I think I always knew that I was different, but it didn't really bother me. Perhaps because of my underdeveloped Fe I just didn't let what other people said or thought bother me too much. My sister didn't understand how I didn't react to people (especially in highschool) but she still loved and accepted me for who I was. I would probably get teased about once every few months, but by the time the teasers realised that I didn't care, they stopped.

So no, I don't think I necessarily conformed, though most people were generally happy being around me. I was quiet, didn't speak my opinions loudly, and didn't let others decide how I would do things. I was just me...whatever that is.

 

[SilentChaos]

No, I never thought I was strange... in my world there are only two types of people, the ones that are boring and the ones that are interesting (strange=interesting, boring=normal)

How often people have said to me “you’re really strange...” so I convert the word strange to interesting, and now it’s one of the highest compliments : D

Why haven’t we taken over the world already? omg i knew there was something I was meaning to do! Yep I’ll take over the world in just a second... right after I finish this TV series.. oh and finish reading these 7 books..
Meh. I’ll do it tomorrow.
... maybe...

 

[Samchalant]

procrastination the dreaded noun

 

[lone_dreamer]

I knew I was different as far back as I can recall. At first I thought I was some sort of defective human because everyone else was doing what they wanted happily and without doubt, I thought I was clearly missing something crucial, so I conformed. I got bored. I became me...

 

[walfin]

I probably conform too much.

Despite that, the general population seems pleased to assert that they are distinct from me.

W.r.t the second question, there is a hidden assumption in it and it is thus not worth answering.

 

[Jennywocky]

why havent all the users on this forum taken over the world already? we could if we wanted to...

Would you really want to have to be in charge of the world and have to manage/baby/order people around all day?

That choice sounds like a no-brainer for an INTP.


In any case, in regards to conformity:
1. Yes, I spent a good number of years feeling like something was wrong with me. Hence, I conformed to all demands but was very unhappy and felt like I did not have integrity.
2. When I discovered MBTI in my 20's and realized I wasn't an anomaly but an actual part of the "human pattern" and others existed naturally just like me, my confidence grew and I stretched my wings.
3. Nowadays I basically choose to conform where I do in order to have flexibility and leeway to get the things I actually want. It's a choice, not something imposed on me; I do it for me, consciously, to reap benefits elsewhere. I won't conform where it violates my principles; but I'll work within the system to avoid ruffling feathers unnecessarily and to build social capital to burn.
4. There are some things that look like conformity but just happen to be concurrent choices on my part -- I happen to agree that something society promotes makes sense to me. I'm not really doing it to conform, I'm doing it because I believe in it myself.

 

[snafupants]

Would you really want to have to be in charge of the world and have to manage/baby/order people around all day?

That choice sounds like a no-brainer for an INTP.


In any case, in regards to conformity:
1. Yes, I spent a good number of years feeling like something was wrong with me. Hence, I conformed to all demands but was very unhappy and felt like I did not have integrity.
2. When I discovered MBTI in my 20's and realized I wasn't an anomaly but an actual part of the "human pattern" and others existed naturally just like me, my confidence grew and I stretched my wings.
3. Nowadays I basically choose to conform where I do in order to have flexibility and leeway to get the things I actually want. It's a choice, not something imposed on me; I do it for me, consciously, to reap benefits elsewhere. I won't conform where it violates my principles; but I'll work within the system to avoid ruffling feathers unnecessarily and to build social capital to burn.
4. There are some things that look like conformity but just happen to be concurrent choices on my part -- I happen to agree that something society promotes makes sense to me. I'm not really doing it to conform, I'm doing it because I believe in it myself.

numbers three and four are well put but there are facets of modern living which violate some principles and are hard to get around (e.g., driving a car).

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Ride a bike

In all honesty, besides maybe work, I probably wouldn't even need a car. I think having them creates a perpetual phenomenon of an increasing need for cars(transportation) as population increases which in turn again creates a need for more cars ad infinitum (or death from overpopulation). Devolution is the only way to solve this self destructive dependence on a utility.

 

[Melllvar]

What everyone else said

Same here. With very few differences. About 2/3rds of ProxyAmenRa's post could be a biography for me.

In fact if you go back to my original posts (please don't) you can even read where I had the same "OMG this explains everything" moment, and within three days I was here on this forum, having a blast.

Although I didn't originally distinguish myself from anyone else. I definitely tried to fit in up until about the 19-21 age range (despite being a total outcast my entire life), when I just said fuck it to even trying to be acceptable. They definitely distinguished me from them, or so I feel.

I'd back this up with anecdotal evidence from my life history but I'm trying to ween myself off using this forum as a way to bitch about my personal problems (no offense to anyone else that may be doing or feel like they're doing that).

 

[giaduck]

I haven't driven a car for 3+ years now. Partly it's because I'm afraid to drive on the left side of the road, the other part is that I care too much for the environment. I ride a bike, and I even have a little trailer for my little one to ride with me!

 

[Dormouse]

At first I thought I was different, then I realized I was just trying really hard to be.

I'm the same as everyone else now.

 

[Anchorite]

I think they distinguished me from them before I did. Soon after beginning school, though, I did come to the realization that there was some genuine thing that separated me from the average people my age. I didn't know what it was and to be honest i still don't, but there has to be something about me that just makes most people dislike me naturally and as a result make the rest feel sorry for me. I do have real friends though, they just all have better friends .
As far as embracing goes, it really changed from year to year, month to month, day to day. At this point I just don't bother paying attention to that.

Really the only reason I haven't taken over the world yet is I'm just to cool of a dude. People may be stupid assholes but most of them are goodhearted and don't deserve to be slaves to me. (even though the world would be much more efficient)