Pathetically introverted.

[Ermine]

Well, I don't know if this is due to introversion alone or not, but after every single school and/or work day, I'm sick and tired of people. I can't even bear to see another human being other than my family. I don't even talk or interact that much while I'm at school or work.

It's hard to say if it's sheer melacholy/boredom, or purely introversion, but I just thought I'd get it out there for someone to hear and possibly understand. If you're sick and tired, how do you deal with it? Grin and bear it? Naps? What?

 

[poppy]

i normally obsessively analyse my frustration, dissect the behaviour of others and any recent conversations, consider why other people act in such a wearying manner and hate myself for being a social outcast. all of this makes me even more tired and bored so then, yes, i nap.

i find being an intp very exhausting!

 

[FacetiousPersona]

Lock yourself inside your bedroom as I do.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Well, I don't know if this is due to introversion alone or not, but after every single school and/or work day, I'm sick and tired of people... I don't even talk or interact that much while I'm at school or work.

Do you mind elaborating on the situations a little bit? I don't think I can really approach the topic unless I hear some more details about these and the situation types you're finding yourself in. If not, it's cool.
​

 

[ViS]

Introversion isn't a function. It dictates your preferred introverted function (dictated by your J/P axis and preferred functions) as your leading one.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Just be yourself, stop trying to fit the social norm,
I don't get exhausted because I don't exhaust myself.

 

[poppy]

Just be yourself, stop trying to fit the social norm.

how do you resist the constant pressure to be an emotionally open, friendly, practical member of society? it's difficult with the whole of american television against you...

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Spite, insanity and the ability to warp the minds of others.
My identity was forged by the preassure.

 

[Auburn]

Just be yourself, stop trying to fit the social norm

Form what I understand, the INTP tendency to adhere to social norms comes from their desire to avoid further conflict, and therefore conserve energy. They don't want to stand out. It is not so much because they give into the pressure, but because it acts at a cloak in which they can be "unnoticeable" in society, and then go back to their isolation quicker.

If they rebelled against social norms, they would ultimately have much less time to introvert themselves, or think about things in peace due to the conflicts they would cause.

Having said that, it does take a bit of effort to keep this cloak on, and it can be tiring. I can sympathize with Ermine, sometimes it's very difficult to stand people if it's constantly used...

 

[Ghost1986]

Well, I don't know if this is due to introversion alone or not, but after every single school and/or work day, I'm sick and tired of people. I can't even bear to see another human being other than my family. I don't even talk or interact that much while I'm at school or work.

It's hard to say if it's sheer melacholy/boredom, or purely introversion, but I just thought I'd get it out there for someone to hear and possibly understand. If you're sick and tired, how do you deal with it? Grin and bear it? Naps? What?

i would say its something other than introversion. i am very introverted and i only end up like that in certain situations. most of the time i either get like that in very new situations, or having a negative day. take in to account that iam speaking of just my self and what i see may not be whats real. what can i say, iam young and dumb.

 

[truthseeker72]

Mundane, ritualistic interaction definitely exhausts introverts in general, and INTP's in particular. One way to combat this is to insert your own unique perspective on what otherwise would be a dull conversation. Usually, when I'm forced to endure small talk for more than a couple of minutes, I pepper the conversation with opinions and observations that usually take people by surprise, but stop short of offending them. If the person can't handle a deeper conversation, he/she will usually end it rather quickly. Or, he/she will respond with something meaningful, and you end up having an interesting conversation. Either way, you're free from the exhausting small talk.

 

[Ermine]

Do you mind elaborating on the situations a little bit? I don't think I can really approach the topic unless I hear some more details about these and the situation types you're finding yourself in. If not, it's cool.
​

Well, it happens in almost any given situation. After several hours of even being around people and validating and responding to people when they talk to me (not too often), I just can't concentrate because I'm tired of everyone. It's not that I don't like the people I'm surrounded by. I suppose there are a lot of factors though.

 

[echoplex]

Well, I don't know if this is due to introversion alone or not, but after every single school and/or work day, I'm sick and tired of people. I can't even bear to see another human being other than my family. I don't even talk or interact that much while I'm at school or work.

I know what you mean. There are times I will nearly cringe when another person gets near me. I often feel that I simply don't get enough alone time to be happy, and yet there are still other times when I feel a bit lonely.

This is also why I don't recommend someone having 8 kids.

 

[flow]

I feel this way at least a couple of days out of the week.

 

[didyouknow]

I come home, have a nap, hole myself up in the room till dinner, eat and go back to the room. After an exhausting day I just want some alone time to get my energy back.

However, this has caused a problem because my family members now think I dislike them and cannot stand to be around them. I am at a loss. They can not understand how much it drains me.

 

[RobertJ]

Just be yourself, stop trying to fit the social norm,
I don't get exhausted because I don't exhaust myself.

Yeah, when people always ask "How have you been?" "What have you been doing lately?" You know, all that pointless bullshit filler talk... I used to try to engage in the conversation and give an elaborate answer but it was just terrible. Any more I don't even bother trying. I'll just answer with "Yeah" "No" "Good" and leave it at that. I realize sometimes this makes me appear to be short and jerky to people I just don't worry about it anymore.

 

[Concojones]

Does anyone recognize themselves in the following:
I have trouble telling a consistent story, because I tend to want to describe every item very well, and every detail reminds of several other details I, which in turn remind of yet others. This results in my talking speeding up as I try to catch up with my thinking (there's so much to tell!). Final result: the original story becomes complicated, unstructured, people can't follow if I don't watch out. Is this a typical INTP thing?

 

[Concojones]

when people always ask "How have you been?" [...] I'll just answer with "Yeah" "No" "Good" [...] this makes me appear to be short and jerky

I'm also one of those who never knows what to say. But there's an elegant solution: immediately proceed to ask them about themselves. Nod & smile as they speak, ask further questions (which you're good at; INTPs are insatiably curious). Works like a charm, they will love you for it, because everyone loves talking about themselves. It's more difficult on other quiet types like ourselves who aren't comfortable with small talk either, so either don't initiate small-talk with them or immediately move on to 'deeper' talk.

 

[Melkor]

Hrm..I do feel as such on most days..
My advice?

Lots and lot of coffee, and avoid people if possible.

If that doens't work, I have a nice rope you can borrow.

 

[didyouknow]

If that doesn't work, I have a nice rope you can borrow.

From one friend to another.

 

[Melkor]

I don't get it...

Are you trying to be funny?

Hrmp..


-strangles Diddy-

 

[didyouknow]

*Resists thread derailing*

Sorry, Ermine. Let's get back on topic. INTPs are in general detached from the outside world, appearing in it for any undesirable length of time is bound to be exhausting. The best healing is a nice nap or a relaxing quiet time in the garden. You might have to go to a park for this effect if your home life is more hectic like mine. Or you could just barricade yourself up in your room, though this usually has negative effects on your relationships.

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

Does anyone recognize themselves in the following:
I have trouble telling a consistent story, because I tend to want to describe every item very well, and every detail reminds of several other details I, which in turn remind of yet others. This results in my talking speeding up as I try to catch up with my thinking (there's so much to tell!). Final result: the original story becomes complicated, unstructured, people can't follow if I don't watch out. Is this a typical INTP thing?

Yup. It's hard to pull out the distractions.

On the otherhand... one of my close friends was complimenting me the otherday, about how honest I am. She's a high schooler, and sees constant deception that everyone tries to pull. But with me, it's always one story, one truth. Now, I definitely lie to others- but to my close friends, I keep it surprisingly truthful. You might see our communication style as a negative, but there are positives in it too.

 

[Concojones]

Thanks, Civilianjones!

P.S. I had to laugh after reading your "on the other hand,..." paragraph. It sure does make sense, but that's not what I'm referring to. The funny thing is the (rather free) association you're making, with a relatively abrupt transition that would leave some listeners confused for a sec. It's so typical of my own speaking style (in fact it's what I referred to as "one detail reminds me of another").

 

[Ermine]

*Resists thread derailing*

Sorry, Ermine. Let's get back on topic. INTPs are in general detached from the outside world, appearing in it for any undesirable length of time is bound to be exhausting. The best healing is a nice nap or a relaxing quiet time in the garden. You might have to go to a park for this effect if your home life is more hectic like mine. Or you could just barricade yourself up in your room, though this usually has negative effects on your relationships.

Thanks. Problem is that I share my room with my sister. I love her and all, but she plays country music at all hours of the day. *cringe*

 

[Kuu]

Oh god, you share your room? I remember those times *shudders* And country music? How can you even _live_?

Sometimes I too get particularly drained as you describe. Its usually out of a combination of lack of life focus, constant external pressure, and internal emotional issues. It goes away in about 2 weeks to 1 month. A really bright prospect as you can see. But you can attempt to kill it by thinking up of something that you really, really enjoy, but haven't done in a very long time. Something simple, but that really charges up your introvert battery.

 

[Ermine]

It doesn't matter too much as she's my best friend, and a slight introvert, so she understands my need for quiet/alone time. What I can't imagine is having a roommate in college that may or may not understand my need for quiet/alone time. Perhaps I'll just live in the library/computer lab/art studio instead.

 

[sagewolf]

I have to agree with Tekton-- I find that comes and goes in phases, and I just got out of one of them. (Yay!) To keep myself from getting drained, though, I hide away from everyone else during at least ten minutes of lunchtime, and for a few minutes during our smaller break during the day. I keep my iPod with me too-- it's easy, then, to just lose my eyes, turn the music on, and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. Instead of just ploughing through the day surrounded by people, maybe you should try hiding away for a few minutes at a time, every now and then-- even just ten or so minutes every two hours or so helps me tremendously. Hope that helps you.

 

[Auburn]

I keep my iPod with me too-- it's easy, then, to just lose my eyes, turn the music on, and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.

-nods- ....I do the same...
I'm fortunate to have an extremely laid back teacher who gives us a 15 minute break out of every hour of class. I usually go outside and indulge in my introversion. This gives me the charge that I need to keep myself relatively social...

 

[Ermine]

Odd thing is that I have quite a few breaks, but I still have issues. Maybe it's my attitude that's the issue.

 

[wadlez]

I nap allot, im glad its not just me. I do it to shut out the rest of the world for a short amount of time. At uni I learnt about circadian rythems and sleep patterns. The time you are most likely to feel tired and need a nap is around 3pm for normal people. Also only ever nap for under an hour or you'll feel really tired when you wake up.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Odd thing is that I have quite a few breaks, but I still have issues. Maybe it's my attitude that's the issue.

Sometimes breaks will feel worse because the expectation to be social rises at those points, rather than falls?
​

 

[QSR]

High school is tough because you are compelled to do a lot of interaction. Fortunately you can be more in control of your time at college, although it is still quite a social atmosphere (and much more fun IMHO.) i was frustrated in high school because I wasn't really included in anything. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't get into any sort of party scene in HS because it's dangerous and bad for your brain.

 

[Ermine]

Agreed. No matter how much I interact, people almost never interact with me as much as I do with them.

 

[Dominguez]

Odd thing is that I have quite a few breaks, but I still have issues. Maybe it's my attitude that's the issue.

whats causing the attitude?

I know for myself at work, I need to take constant breaks where I just daydream a little, think about whatever's on my mind at the moment, sit down and play tetris on my cell phone, etc. I usually do this when I've completed whatever I have to do and I've got no immediate tasks. When i do this, though, my boss usually gets pissed and thinks i'm being lazy and aloof. When he comes to me, usually with his preceding distasteful attitude towards me, I end up having an attitude towards him because I think he's acting like an idiot.

 

[EditorOne]

Chiming in kind of late, but I'm with those who think some solitude is the answer.

I travel several times a year, usually car trips of four to six hours. And I do it alone. Seems to work. Doing it again this Friday, work trip to Rochester, NY, refused an offer to fly me up. I need some "down time," if you'll forgive a rough play on words.

The other great solace is reading. I'm alone and in my head, even with other people in the room. I get so focused I don't even know someone's trying to talk to me. Always been that way. Reading is a total escape, all the mental machinery running full blast in a harmonious way as opposed to how it runs around people.

Online is a wonderful bridge between utterly shut down solitude and mental machinery running nicely, especially in a room of INTPs. It takes a lot of the frustration and awkwardness out of sharing thoughts and it's always easy to imagine, if one steps in it, that there's nobody really out there anyway. :-)

 

[Ermine]

Explains why I spend a good amount of time here.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

I know i don't post very often..since pretty much everything i think to say would pretty much be obvious or already said, but i couldn't pass this up. For the longest time, i haven't had a job, and i haven't been in school, i live far away from town and most of the "friends" i had in my neighborhood have moved. so im pretty much completely alone, my parents dont bother me because they know i dont like them basically..

Anyway, for the longest time, i have considered myself a control for some large scale social experiment since i go most days without any interaction at all. The funny part is that even though im not forced to be in any certain social situations, just watching Tv or hearing people outside is enough to disgust me. so its not neccessarily the social interaction itself that causes the reactions you guys have been disgussing. It is all caused by your own thoughts, even though this was probably already apparent.

Any time i do have to go anywhere, i can literally feel the hatred, for the lack of a better word, before i even get where i am going. Although i do think hatred is too strong of a word, maybe distaste fits better..or maybe just an overall uncomfortable feeling.

(sorry for the babble, just think this is kind of funny) Not too long ago, i went to the dentist, me and my mom were the first people in the room, it was a fairly large room, surrounded by chairs. Naturally, i chose the chair closest to the door since i wanted to get sat down and be in "my place" as soon as possible. Eventually the room filled more and more, and after they called my mother back, i realized that i had never felt so akward, i had to try hard as i could to just stay seated and not get up and walk out. Was amazing..*end*

 

[QSR]

Your disdain for people is likely very very overblown. It's probably more a reaction to being and feeling outcast than being a genuine dislike for them. I find that human interaction is usually far less painful than I think it's going to be.

 

[Ermine]

The interaction isn't so bad, it's interaction without being involved. I have next to no strong bonds with the people I work with, not much common ground beyond the surface, no emotional investment. I wholly enjoy interaction with people I have a bond with.

 

[Waterstiller]

I feel the same way, Ermine. The real difficulty for me is in finding people who I can bond with. Most people seem to want to talk at people, and interaction just turns me into a trash receptacle for their drivel.

I keep trying to get hold of my INFP friend who is (likely) bipolar. He's the only person I really bond with but he's usually so depressed I only see him every few months. He doesn't respond to emails or texts when he's depressed and I always feel like I'm pestering him when he doesn't respond. Anyways, today I was trying to think of why I bond with him so well. He's able to go to depths of conversation that others aren't prepared to go, he doesn't judge me, he doesn't adhere to convention, his thoughts and inquiries are along the same vein as my own, and he is just as introverted and anxious. Bonding for me is an extremely unlikely thing; so many conditions have to be met for me to be comfortable otherwise it feels like work.

And it's almost always work for us to make others comfortable. Unfortunately, others seem to be more demanding than us and have the numbers in their favor. It makes sense that I prefer to spend the majority of my time in isolation.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Yea i don't hate all people, just a very high percentage lol. I am actually pretty tolerant of individual people and can kind of accept their flaws. But at the same time i do hate "people" in general for those flaws and i do separate myself from them. Not because i think i am better than them, but because i expect the same consideration, the behaviour, and to some extent the same intellect or common sense that i put forth, and so many people fail and are deemed repulsive. And it is this overall judgement that i give people that just naturally makes me so uncomfortable around people i dont know, because i automatically assume i dont like them, and i dont, even most of the people i do know, i regret i know because i dont get the same respect and honesty, etc. that i present, but i still care about them too much to not talk to them. =/

 

[Ermine]

I can relate, but it still doesn't sound like a good idea to assume everyone will fall short of your expectations.

It often feels like people don't reciprocate the effort I put into relationships. Even with the people I considered my friends, I was usually the one reaching out to them, inviting them over, sharing, and doing the various friend duties. That's saying a ton about others considering how introverted I am. However, I've found that when I expect people to disappoint me, they always do. When I expect people to step up to the plate, they do, most of the time. Or at least they try to meet my expectations when I'm more optimistic. I'm not sure if that's people reacting to me or me seeing the same thing differently, but either way, it's more worth it.

 

[Waterstiller]

I almost never reach out to anyone - my phone usually remains unused for socialization purposes unless I get a call or text from one of the ENFP's in my life. My myspace and facebook walls are filled with ENFP's wanting to get me to do things. There are a couple people I will initiate communication with, but they're just as introverted as I am. And usually they're potential dating prospects.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

Basically the world is 90% arseholes and 10% people who are OK. most people (especially in High School, i hate everyone there so much) are idiots, no depth, no intellect knowledge or common sense. I have some sort of 'test' or subconscious analysis of everyone and decide on many factors how to treat someone. most fail thus are treated as animals.

it is not that i am a superior human being, more they are inferior.

i think maybe this hate comes from alienation. who alienates? people. so what are people? to be hated as they are the source of misery.

 

[Halcyon]

most people (especially in High School, i hate everyone there so much) are idiots, no depth, no intellect knowledge or common sense.

Amen. At the beginning of high school I did not yet realize this; I was just unidentifiably frustrated with everyone. Now that I'm graduating in 2 months I am glad to be getting out of this god-forsaken institution. I don't hold a grudge against these people specifically; I'm just frustrated that I was surrounded by them for 4 years without anyone I could identify with.

it is not that i am a superior human being, more they are inferior.

Yea, but just don't go telling this to the football jocks (on second that, that sounds like it would be fun). I have a reputation for being arrogant because when people see someone more intelligent than them, they automatically protect their ego by somehow identifying this intelligence as a flaw. Depending on the context of this person's intelligence, he will be re-labeled with something derogatory such as "arrogant" or "nerd"so he can be made convenient for alienation. Thus, the sports jock-dominated hierarchy of high school is preserved.

**to be honest, my situation in high school isn't that bad, but the principle (even if I oversimplified it a tad) still stands

 

[Ermine]

^ I will admit my previous post was oversimplifying on the positive end of the spectrum. I definitely experience the same thing. I'm going to be so happy at graduation, purely because I get to transfer to a larger community where there might be a bigger chance of people identifying with me.

And concerning your hierarchy principle, perhaps I'm just lucky and/or don't come off as too arrogant, but I end up being the academic "maid" of the institution. Instead of being condemned for my intelligence, everyone relies on me to know the answer as if it's my responsibility to explain everything for them when they're supposed to learn for themselves.

 

[zephryi]

The interaction isn't so bad, it's interaction without being involved. I have next to no strong bonds with the people I work with, not much common ground beyond the surface, no emotional investment. I wholly enjoy interaction with people I have a bond with.

Just to give you a comparison, I was lucky enough to fall into a group of mostly introverted friends as well as find two people (both ENFPs, for whatever reason @___@) that I really enjoy talking to. However, despite the fact that I'm only interacting with them for the most part, so the conversation is easy and usually things I'm interested in, I've found myself needing to take naps after school, or at the very least, get a sugary or protein filled snack regardless of whether I've eaten lunch.

Plus, on a blog about introversion purely- I think it's called "Living Introverted"?- a lot of the conversations had to do with drained energy levels and coping with it, and at least one books I've read recommended introverts keep things such as energy bars on their person, although it leaned towards the more extreme side of introversion.

So, it seems to me that needing breaks is mostly due to the I preference, and perhaps the amount is due to how far you lean towards introversion/ interact through the day... *restate is go XD*