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OK, it's on.
Parents of INTPs
- Thread starter universe34
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Architect
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Re: INTP Parents
Well, I'm INTP, my wife is INFJ, and we produced an INTP son - no ifs, ands or buts about it. We (wife and me) have been into MBTI for many decades; the kid is INTP by birth, not wishful thinking (I actually wanted a Sensor - thought it would be fun and expected it anyhow).
It's been a great learning experience for me - in midlife, to see a mini-me grow up, in more 'ideal' rearing conditions. My parents didn't have a lot of money (too many kids, not enough salary), and they were all sensors with me the only INTP. I was the oddball, well loved if not understood. He's taught me aspects of myself long worn off, due to abrasion from the people around me. No, those are my natural tendencies - suppressed maybe. We've learned from each other, he benefits from my experience and I benefit from his blank slate.
So he's growing up in a household where both parents understand him, foresee his every development, and have considerable resources. I hope we're not crippling him
Well, I'm INTP, my wife is INFJ, and we produced an INTP son - no ifs, ands or buts about it. We (wife and me) have been into MBTI for many decades; the kid is INTP by birth, not wishful thinking (I actually wanted a Sensor - thought it would be fun and expected it anyhow).
It's been a great learning experience for me - in midlife, to see a mini-me grow up, in more 'ideal' rearing conditions. My parents didn't have a lot of money (too many kids, not enough salary), and they were all sensors with me the only INTP. I was the oddball, well loved if not understood. He's taught me aspects of myself long worn off, due to abrasion from the people around me. No, those are my natural tendencies - suppressed maybe. We've learned from each other, he benefits from my experience and I benefit from his blank slate.
So he's growing up in a household where both parents understand him, foresee his every development, and have considerable resources. I hope we're not crippling him
ProxyAmenRa
Here to bring back the love!
Re: INTP Parents
You're raising a kid to be not emotionally messed up by his parents? How will he ever be normal then?
Well, I'm INTP, my wife is INFJ, and we produced an INTP son - no ifs, ands or buts about it. We (wife and me) have been into MBTI for many decades; the kid is INTP by birth, not wishful thinking (I actually wanted a Sensor - thought it would be fun and expected it anyhow).
It's been a great learning experience for me - in midlife, to see a mini-me grow up, in more 'ideal' rearing conditions. My parents didn't have a lot of money (too many kids, not enough salary), and they were all sensors with me the only INTP. I was the oddball, well loved if not understood. He's taught me aspects of myself long worn off, due to abrasion from the people around me. No, those are my natural tendencies - suppressed maybe. We've learned from each other, he benefits from my experience and I benefit from his blank slate.
So he's growing up in a household where both parents understand him, foresee his every development, and have considerable resources. I hope we're not crippling him
You're raising a kid to be not emotionally messed up by his parents? How will he ever be normal then?
Architect
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Re: INTP Parents
Seriously .... wife has taught him how to manage his emotions, and taught him poetry, literature and art. I teach him music, computers, photography and Star Trek (Star Wars was in his blood from birth). We both taught him it's OK to be INTP and different from everybody around you.
He likes us so much, has me worried
Seriously .... wife has taught him how to manage his emotions, and taught him poetry, literature and art. I teach him music, computers, photography and Star Trek (Star Wars was in his blood from birth). We both taught him it's OK to be INTP and different from everybody around you.
He likes us so much, has me worried
ProxyAmenRa
Here to bring back the love!
Re: INTP Parents
How old is he?
How old is he?
Re: INTP Parents
INTJ Father
ISFJ Mother
I feel like I am very similar to my dad in many, many ways. He seems to understand how I think which is nice. For a while, I didn't think were any differences between us. Hence, at first I thought I was an INTJ. However, I am little more easy-going than he is; he is a true go-getter. Our arguments are often heated and interesting, though. Overall, a great guy and a very good father.
My mother is about the nicest woman in the world. She is very understanding and helpful during any situation I may have. She is very traditional and doesn't understand why I question things so much. We are almost complete opposites.
I'm sure when we are born, we are born with some sort of undeveloped, adaptable type that can develop over the years. I think developing a P was a result of overbearing, hard-working parents. I will say that for an INTP I do have a well-developed F. I think this is a result of my caring mother.
What are your thoughts to these ideas?
INTJ Father
ISFJ Mother
I feel like I am very similar to my dad in many, many ways. He seems to understand how I think which is nice. For a while, I didn't think were any differences between us. Hence, at first I thought I was an INTJ. However, I am little more easy-going than he is; he is a true go-getter. Our arguments are often heated and interesting, though. Overall, a great guy and a very good father.
My mother is about the nicest woman in the world. She is very understanding and helpful during any situation I may have. She is very traditional and doesn't understand why I question things so much. We are almost complete opposites.
I'm sure when we are born, we are born with some sort of undeveloped, adaptable type that can develop over the years. I think developing a P was a result of overbearing, hard-working parents. I will say that for an INTP I do have a well-developed F. I think this is a result of my caring mother.
What are your thoughts to these ideas?
Grove
Wait.....now what?
Re: INTP Parents
Mother: INTJ
Father: INTP (But, he seems more INFP to me.)
*Brother ESTP. He will follow any one of us around the house while talking about whatever he finds interesting in that moment - usually sports related. He drives me and my Dad crazy. Hello, we’re walking away to get away from the barrage of unwanted information! A quick stern “leave me the fuck alone!” doesn’t work….he just keeps going and going…..
Mother: INTJ
Father: INTP (But, he seems more INFP to me.)
*Brother ESTP. He will follow any one of us around the house while talking about whatever he finds interesting in that moment - usually sports related. He drives me and my Dad crazy. Hello, we’re walking away to get away from the barrage of unwanted information! A quick stern “leave me the fuck alone!” doesn’t work….he just keeps going and going…..
Re: INTP Parents
I had both of my parents take the MBTI, but I somewhat forgot what they were.
My dad was an ESTJ, I think. I get along pretty well with him.
My I think my mom was an ISFP or something like that.
I had both of my parents take the MBTI, but I somewhat forgot what they were.
My dad was an ESTJ, I think. I get along pretty well with him.
My I think my mom was an ISFP or something like that.
MichiganJFrog
Rupert Pupkin's stalker
Re: INTP Parents
I can't think of anyone in my family of origin who isn't introverted. We have all had issues with self-acceptance and acceptance from others because of that. How my parents and siblings fall out in terms of N/S, T/F, and J/P, I couldn't tell you. I'm too new at this to make that determination.
I would say my dad seems like an INTP, based on the descriptions I've read. I would also say he refuses to accept his own core nature. He refuses to accept my core nature as well, and that has been a source of great friction between us for most of my life.
I can't think of anyone in my family of origin who isn't introverted. We have all had issues with self-acceptance and acceptance from others because of that. How my parents and siblings fall out in terms of N/S, T/F, and J/P, I couldn't tell you. I'm too new at this to make that determination.
I would say my dad seems like an INTP, based on the descriptions I've read. I would also say he refuses to accept his own core nature. He refuses to accept my core nature as well, and that has been a source of great friction between us for most of my life.
Pyropyro
Magos Biologis
Re: INTP Parents
Well I lived with them for a long time so I guess I intuitively know their types:
Father: ESTJ
Mother: INTJ (confirmed)
Me: INTP (confirmed)
Big Sis: INFP
Little Sis: INFJ
We all tend to get along just fine after I evolved my Fe and Si aspects a bit.
Well I lived with them for a long time so I guess I intuitively know their types:
Father: ESTJ
Mother: INTJ (confirmed)
Me: INTP (confirmed)
Big Sis: INFP
Little Sis: INFJ
We all tend to get along just fine after I evolved my Fe and Si aspects a bit.
Panopticon
mehmber
Re: INTP Parents
Father- INTP
Mother- ISFJ
Brother- ISTP
Sister- INTP
^I feel kinda bad for mum sometimes. We all tend to unwittingly hurt her feelings occasionally. She needs a feeler or a J type in the house, we drive her crazy sometimes.
Father- INTP
Mother- ISFJ
Brother- ISTP
Sister- INTP
^I feel kinda bad for mum sometimes. We all tend to unwittingly hurt her feelings occasionally. She needs a feeler or a J type in the house, we drive her crazy sometimes.
scorpiomover
The little professor
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Re: INTP Parents
Very outgoing INTP father (was once asked a question, and his reply was to ask if the other person had 2 hours, because that's how long the answer would take to explain).
Unbelievably smart and creative ESFJ mother (I think).
Results:
INTJ boy
INFJ girl
INTP boy (me)
ENTP boy
Very outgoing INTP father (was once asked a question, and his reply was to ask if the other person had 2 hours, because that's how long the answer would take to explain).
Unbelievably smart and creative ESFJ mother (I think).
Results:
INTJ boy
INFJ girl
INTP boy (me)
ENTP boy
redbaron
irony based lifeform
What are your parents MBTI?
As per title, what MBTI are your parents (or what do you suspect) and was/is your relationship with them positive? Feel free to speculate why or why not.
I had my parents to the test, and they both came up exactly what I thought they would. ISTP (father) and INTJ (mother). It explained a lot and I think that together they are probably one of (if not the) best combination of personalities for an INTP child.
What about you guys?
As per title, what MBTI are your parents (or what do you suspect) and was/is your relationship with them positive? Feel free to speculate why or why not.
I had my parents to the test, and they both came up exactly what I thought they would. ISTP (father) and INTJ (mother). It explained a lot and I think that together they are probably one of (if not the) best combination of personalities for an INTP child.
What about you guys?
NoID10ts
aka Noddy
Re: What are your parents MBTI?
Never tested them, but I think my mom is an ISTJ and my step-dad is an ESFJ (my exact opposite). I get along with my mom well, but she can really dig her heels in on things and can get downright judgmental. I usually get along with my step-dad in spite of the fact that he makes me bugnuts crazy. He has to be the center of attention, he's loud, brash, and has no filter between his mouth and his brain. In fact, I'm not sure his brain is even at play.
My biological father is INTP, I think. I've always gotten along with him well, but he's not much of a conversationalist and he's very disconnected (I think maybe he has PTSD from Vietnam). We're freakishly alike even though he and my mom got divorced when I was 2 and he wasn't really much of a factor in my raising.
Never tested them, but I think my mom is an ISTJ and my step-dad is an ESFJ (my exact opposite). I get along with my mom well, but she can really dig her heels in on things and can get downright judgmental. I usually get along with my step-dad in spite of the fact that he makes me bugnuts crazy. He has to be the center of attention, he's loud, brash, and has no filter between his mouth and his brain. In fact, I'm not sure his brain is even at play.
My biological father is INTP, I think. I've always gotten along with him well, but he's not much of a conversationalist and he's very disconnected (I think maybe he has PTSD from Vietnam). We're freakishly alike even though he and my mom got divorced when I was 2 and he wasn't really much of a factor in my raising.
ApostateAbe
Banned
Re: What are your parents MBTI?
Father is an INTP. Forget what my mother is, but not INTP.
Father is an INTP. Forget what my mother is, but not INTP.
skip
Sock connoisseur
Re: INTP Parents
My mom is possibly an INTP or INFP, my dad might be an ISTP. It's a real advantage to an introverted kid to have introverts for parents.
My mom is possibly an INTP or INFP, my dad might be an ISTP. It's a real advantage to an introverted kid to have introverts for parents.
ObliviousGenius
Life is a side scroller, keep moving.
Re: INTP Parents
My parents are like most of yours. ESFJ Dad, ISFJ mom. To make matters worse they are enormous religious freaks, it drives me insane how religion must be related to everything. My dad is highly intrusive but I usually just humor him until he leaves. I don't feel like talking about my mom she can be very evil.
My parents are like most of yours. ESFJ Dad, ISFJ mom. To make matters worse they are enormous religious freaks, it drives me insane how religion must be related to everything. My dad is highly intrusive but I usually just humor him until he leaves. I don't feel like talking about my mom she can be very evil.
Chronomar
NOPE
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Re: INTP Parents
Dad: INTJ, a psychologist/higher-education specialist/college professor. Supportive, deliberative, non-confrontational. He works late hours, gardens, birdwatches, and doesn't manage his own house, finances, nor children. He has good intentions and has a good deal of wisdom, but also has his own kind of quiet arrogance. He sometimes can be a "doormat" due to his constant desire to be "fair" and "just" and "moral", but apparently in youth was much more aggressive. An atheist from a batshit insane baptist family from Texas.
Mom: INTP, a jack-of-all-trades, who excels at English/Editing, art, marketing / the manipulative side of psychology. She, while also possessing a conscience, also has a certain "I'm in it for me and mine" attitude and seems to not be able to help herself from trying to structure her surroundings to her own benefit. She is smart, and did work in advertising and then editing for a time, but flunked out of college three times before getting to that and never liked her job(s). So when I was born, she became a stay-at-home-mother. She runs everything. Finances, schedules, the house...but she doesn't like it and isn't exactly a natural at it always. She does have an emotional side that is just completely irrational and can be at turns dangerous, or unconditionally loving. My sister and I have been heavily influenced in our calm and "expressionless" facade, and solidarity with each other, by this. If wronged she will destroy the offender secretly, subtly, silently, and completely. She is atheist, and hails from a Catholic family from Kentucky. Her mom was always manipulative in an ISFJ-ish way. Her father was a brilliant engineer, and very very absent.
Sister: INTP. She is essentially similar to myself, but younger, interested in diplomacy / politics first and science / philosophy second (inverse from me), and more social than I am, but not by much. She was always the more cautious one, but right after telling me I was being reckless would follow along and only tell if she thought she could use it as blackmail to her own ends. She is my most valued and only friend.
Dad: INTJ, a psychologist/higher-education specialist/college professor. Supportive, deliberative, non-confrontational. He works late hours, gardens, birdwatches, and doesn't manage his own house, finances, nor children. He has good intentions and has a good deal of wisdom, but also has his own kind of quiet arrogance. He sometimes can be a "doormat" due to his constant desire to be "fair" and "just" and "moral", but apparently in youth was much more aggressive. An atheist from a batshit insane baptist family from Texas.
Mom: INTP, a jack-of-all-trades, who excels at English/Editing, art, marketing / the manipulative side of psychology. She, while also possessing a conscience, also has a certain "I'm in it for me and mine" attitude and seems to not be able to help herself from trying to structure her surroundings to her own benefit. She is smart, and did work in advertising and then editing for a time, but flunked out of college three times before getting to that and never liked her job(s). So when I was born, she became a stay-at-home-mother. She runs everything. Finances, schedules, the house...but she doesn't like it and isn't exactly a natural at it always. She does have an emotional side that is just completely irrational and can be at turns dangerous, or unconditionally loving. My sister and I have been heavily influenced in our calm and "expressionless" facade, and solidarity with each other, by this. If wronged she will destroy the offender secretly, subtly, silently, and completely. She is atheist, and hails from a Catholic family from Kentucky. Her mom was always manipulative in an ISFJ-ish way. Her father was a brilliant engineer, and very very absent.
Sister: INTP. She is essentially similar to myself, but younger, interested in diplomacy / politics first and science / philosophy second (inverse from me), and more social than I am, but not by much. She was always the more cautious one, but right after telling me I was being reckless would follow along and only tell if she thought she could use it as blackmail to her own ends. She is my most valued and only friend.
redbaron
irony based lifeform
Re: INTP Parents
I think I would agree with this.
I feel a little annoyed when I hear about people who have parents who don't understand or respect them for who they are. Especially the people who have religious nuts for parents. That is scary.
Thankfully both my mum and dad were against their own parents/families religious beliefs themselves. They never told me it was wrong, but that I should believe what I want to believe, based on my own thoughts and opinions.
I think I would agree with this.
I feel a little annoyed when I hear about people who have parents who don't understand or respect them for who they are. Especially the people who have religious nuts for parents. That is scary.
Thankfully both my mum and dad were against their own parents/families religious beliefs themselves. They never told me it was wrong, but that I should believe what I want to believe, based on my own thoughts and opinions.
Architect
Professional INTP
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Re: INTP Parents
Dad - ESTJ. Mom - ESFP.
Good parents. I was lucky that they were tolerant and appreciative, even if they never understood me. Unfortunately they are seriously religious, especially my mom who got worse as she got older. Same with the siblings, sisters ESTJ, ESFP, brother ISTP.
My buddies were all S too - ESTJ, ESFJ and ESFP. Couldn't find a 'N' to save me growing up. Same thing as an adult, for the most part.
I would think so. My mom was worried at times about my introversion and weirdness. She was really concerned I wouldn't be normal, which I wasn't. My kid knows that we really understand him, which is probably why he is so close to us.
OTOH I think I had, or developed a thicker skin being raised in an S house. Had to be ... also more self-reliant. It will be interesting to see mine grow up. It's kind of like those Sci-Fi stories where you get to see yourself grow up in an alternate time line. The ultimate 'what if'.
Dad - ESTJ. Mom - ESFP.
Good parents. I was lucky that they were tolerant and appreciative, even if they never understood me. Unfortunately they are seriously religious, especially my mom who got worse as she got older. Same with the siblings, sisters ESTJ, ESFP, brother ISTP.
My buddies were all S too - ESTJ, ESFJ and ESFP. Couldn't find a 'N' to save me growing up. Same thing as an adult, for the most part.
skip said:
I would think so. My mom was worried at times about my introversion and weirdness. She was really concerned I wouldn't be normal, which I wasn't. My kid knows that we really understand him, which is probably why he is so close to us.
OTOH I think I had, or developed a thicker skin being raised in an S house. Had to be ... also more self-reliant. It will be interesting to see mine grow up. It's kind of like those Sci-Fi stories where you get to see yourself grow up in an alternate time line. The ultimate 'what if'.
skip
Sock connoisseur
Re: INTP Parents
I think what I appreciated most was that they gave me the freedom to do whatever by myself: reading, writing poetry, playing with Legos or other creative toys, drawing, practicing/writing music... It was a house where we could all sit quietly and do our own thing. Doors were open and I could go where I liked and seek them out when I wanted them, but I could also sit in my room or the living room or dining room by myself and not be pestered. I liked that. Maybe that's also an advantage of being an only child.
I think what I appreciated most was that they gave me the freedom to do whatever by myself: reading, writing poetry, playing with Legos or other creative toys, drawing, practicing/writing music... It was a house where we could all sit quietly and do our own thing. Doors were open and I could go where I liked and seek them out when I wanted them, but I could also sit in my room or the living room or dining room by myself and not be pestered. I liked that. Maybe that's also an advantage of being an only child.
Anna Moss
Active Member
Re: INTP Parents
Dad: INTP
Brother: INTP
Sister: ENTP
Mother: ESTJ Poor mom...
I had a great childhood. My mom worked and my dad stayed home and built on the house, so I spent most of my childhood hanging out in the company of male INTPs. Few rules. Lots of reading and sci fi.
Dad would get us comic books at the store and we would read them together on the couch. He still liked "juvenile" interests (so do I, as an adult) and all the NTPs in the family joked about the same shows, books, computer games and comics. He would also read us books that were not typical childhood reading material (i.e. Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ, or Carry On, Mr. Bowditch). When we came to unusual words, we would get out the dictionary and look them up. I was always surprising my teachers with my vocabulary.
My dad was proud of how different we were from the other kids, and conveyed the distinct impression that being an INTP was better than being boringly normal. He also liked it that I didn't subserviently respect authority; for example, he still remembers fondly how I called my third grade teacher "naive."
There was never any pressure on me to do "girl" things or dress up. My brother and I would play with My Little Ponies, but instead of combing their hair and whatnot we would take them on dangerous expeditions across the desert of the front yard and the jungle of the lawn. "Help me...Rainbow Heart...I'm...dying...of thirst..." my pony would gasp. "I'll...try," his pony would wheeze bravely, supporting mine until we reached the jungle where there was water. Then, "Oh no, quicksand!" Note that my brother played with My Little Ponies. There was no pressure on him to play sports or stuff like that. Since I live in a subculture that encourages women to be as mentally and physically capable as men, I am quite a tomboy. It still annoys me to be treated as a girl who needs to be babied or helped.
My dad grew up on a farm and believed that kids can do manual labor. During each summer me and my brother were required to cut down two large trees each day (we used a hacksaw) and certain quantities of smaller trees. This was to build a firebreak around our house and to give mom's flowers more sunlight. For each large tree we got paid something like $1, and for each small tree we got paid between 1-5 cents. Dad didn't believe in allowances when we were young because he thought they taught one a bad work ethic. When he paid us at the end of the month we received "earned currency" (as he specifically phrased it). We were allowed to earn as much money as we wanted besides what we were forced to earn, and sometimes I could make up to $70 in a month. (I think it did teach me a good work ethic.) My dad was a kind man, but quite stern as NT parents are. We would whine, "We can't work, it's raining." "Put on your raincoat," he would say. If we goofed around and didn't finish our quota by the time mom got home from work, we would beg her to let us quit anyway (she was the merciful one). Dad was unsympathetic to such pleas, noting that if we hadn't wasted time we could have finished already. (Not that it was actually hard to meet the quota--it only took a few hours--but sometimes we spent so much time amusing ourselves and procrastinating that it could drag out through the whole day.)
Dad wasn't into sports, but he did take me hunting and fishing with a certain regularity. (I still enjoy both activities.) As a Physics major, he also taught me the most basic steps of algebra, calculus, and series/sequences when I was in elementary school. This actually isn't very hard, it's a just of matter of applying multiplication and addition in different ways. I think most kids could do it if given the chance, and if I ever have kids I will definitely teach it to them. He also performed experiments, i.e. there was the time he imploded a fish tank while trying to create a low pressure environment for cloud generation by pumping all the air out. He was always pointing out how things worked or noting how clever the designers of various items were.
My ESTJ mom was a good person, though living with a family of NTPs definitely frustrated her. On one occasion she blurted, "It's like living with a family of lawyers!" Undoubtedly true. Being argumentative Rationals (particularly the ENTP) we seldom gave in an inch her arguments for propriety or order. We also outvoted her on everything and took gleeful pleasure in pointing out that as the majority, we were by definition normal and she was by definition weird. Our social nonconformity frequently embarrassed her, and she had no one to make small talk with. On top of that, we never kept the house clean and cared little for daily house chores which she usually ended up doing all by herself.
At the same time, she was perversely proud of her weird, geeky little household. She referred to us as "the Addams family" (the family myth claims that the name Adams has been passed down to us from the Presidents John and Quincy Adams--both NTJ Rationals). However, she seldom invited people over to the house.
I feel rather sorry for her (it is too bad she could not have had at least one SJ child to bond with) but at the same time I don't miss the complaining about the state of house and the constant nagging to do chores. I love my mom, but I did not always like her. Things are better between us now that I'm living by myself. She sacrificed a lot for us, and I hope to be able to repay her someday.
Dad: INTP
Brother: INTP
Sister: ENTP
Mother: ESTJ Poor mom...
I had a great childhood. My mom worked and my dad stayed home and built on the house, so I spent most of my childhood hanging out in the company of male INTPs. Few rules. Lots of reading and sci fi.
Dad would get us comic books at the store and we would read them together on the couch. He still liked "juvenile" interests (so do I, as an adult) and all the NTPs in the family joked about the same shows, books, computer games and comics. He would also read us books that were not typical childhood reading material (i.e. Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ, or Carry On, Mr. Bowditch). When we came to unusual words, we would get out the dictionary and look them up. I was always surprising my teachers with my vocabulary.
My dad was proud of how different we were from the other kids, and conveyed the distinct impression that being an INTP was better than being boringly normal. He also liked it that I didn't subserviently respect authority; for example, he still remembers fondly how I called my third grade teacher "naive."
There was never any pressure on me to do "girl" things or dress up. My brother and I would play with My Little Ponies, but instead of combing their hair and whatnot we would take them on dangerous expeditions across the desert of the front yard and the jungle of the lawn. "Help me...Rainbow Heart...I'm...dying...of thirst..." my pony would gasp. "I'll...try," his pony would wheeze bravely, supporting mine until we reached the jungle where there was water. Then, "Oh no, quicksand!" Note that my brother played with My Little Ponies. There was no pressure on him to play sports or stuff like that. Since I live in a subculture that encourages women to be as mentally and physically capable as men, I am quite a tomboy. It still annoys me to be treated as a girl who needs to be babied or helped.
My dad grew up on a farm and believed that kids can do manual labor. During each summer me and my brother were required to cut down two large trees each day (we used a hacksaw) and certain quantities of smaller trees. This was to build a firebreak around our house and to give mom's flowers more sunlight. For each large tree we got paid something like $1, and for each small tree we got paid between 1-5 cents. Dad didn't believe in allowances when we were young because he thought they taught one a bad work ethic. When he paid us at the end of the month we received "earned currency" (as he specifically phrased it). We were allowed to earn as much money as we wanted besides what we were forced to earn, and sometimes I could make up to $70 in a month. (I think it did teach me a good work ethic.) My dad was a kind man, but quite stern as NT parents are. We would whine, "We can't work, it's raining." "Put on your raincoat," he would say. If we goofed around and didn't finish our quota by the time mom got home from work, we would beg her to let us quit anyway (she was the merciful one). Dad was unsympathetic to such pleas, noting that if we hadn't wasted time we could have finished already. (Not that it was actually hard to meet the quota--it only took a few hours--but sometimes we spent so much time amusing ourselves and procrastinating that it could drag out through the whole day.)
Dad wasn't into sports, but he did take me hunting and fishing with a certain regularity. (I still enjoy both activities.) As a Physics major, he also taught me the most basic steps of algebra, calculus, and series/sequences when I was in elementary school. This actually isn't very hard, it's a just of matter of applying multiplication and addition in different ways. I think most kids could do it if given the chance, and if I ever have kids I will definitely teach it to them. He also performed experiments, i.e. there was the time he imploded a fish tank while trying to create a low pressure environment for cloud generation by pumping all the air out. He was always pointing out how things worked or noting how clever the designers of various items were.
My ESTJ mom was a good person, though living with a family of NTPs definitely frustrated her. On one occasion she blurted, "It's like living with a family of lawyers!" Undoubtedly true. Being argumentative Rationals (particularly the ENTP) we seldom gave in an inch her arguments for propriety or order. We also outvoted her on everything and took gleeful pleasure in pointing out that as the majority, we were by definition normal and she was by definition weird. Our social nonconformity frequently embarrassed her, and she had no one to make small talk with. On top of that, we never kept the house clean and cared little for daily house chores which she usually ended up doing all by herself.
At the same time, she was perversely proud of her weird, geeky little household. She referred to us as "the Addams family" (the family myth claims that the name Adams has been passed down to us from the Presidents John and Quincy Adams--both NTJ Rationals). However, she seldom invited people over to the house.
I feel rather sorry for her (it is too bad she could not have had at least one SJ child to bond with) but at the same time I don't miss the complaining about the state of house and the constant nagging to do chores. I love my mom, but I did not always like her. Things are better between us now that I'm living by myself. She sacrificed a lot for us, and I hope to be able to repay her someday.
doncarlzone
Useless knowledge
Re: INTP Parents
A lot of interesting posts here.
Mother (INFP): Deeply caring, short tempered, irrational believes
Father (ISTJ): Very organised and structured, not emotional, hard worker,
A lot of interesting posts here.
Mother (INFP): Deeply caring, short tempered, irrational believes
Father (ISTJ): Very organised and structured, not emotional, hard worker,
Teohrn
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Re: INTP Parents
Mom (ISTJ): we never got along. She is domineering, a control-freak, aggressive, mentally tunnel-visioned, unquestioning of authority (she expects me to be as well), manipulative, selfish, unperceptive, workaholic, very shallow, unwilling to change, uncreative, intolerant, etc. Also, I think that she shows signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
We always had a very bad relationship, it goes way beyond the list I listed. She would find things to criticize at me for, as to put me in my place. She would shout at me for the smallest of mistakes. I think she felt she was doing her "duty". If she had decided something or had an opinion or anything of the like, she would hold to it just like a Pit Bull, even if it was proven wrong or illogical, which it often was. She is totally inept at conceptualization and the like, owing largely due to her inferior Ne. She was unable to understand me and when I have explained "how I work", she hasn't accepted it, because it doesn't fit her views of how one should be, and if you don't fit with that then there must be something wrong with you. My father and mother being divorced, she has a grudge against him and his whole family. I grew up constantly hearing her describing them all as the epitomization of everything bad. I have grown up all of my life being told that all men are scumbags. Whenever any argument with her became heated (which it became very quickly) she would tell me how similar I was to my father, his brothers, his father or Hitler and several serial killers. I don't think I will ever be friends with her and I don't want to be. I could go on forever with this.
She is an extreme ISTJ, and we're the extreme opposites of each other in many ways. I think there's much more to this inter-personal issue than just MBTI types, however.
Father (INTP/ENTP/ISTP): we always got along, even more so as I became older. He is laid-back, perceptive, tolerant, funny, gentle, open-minded, caring, full of ideas, interesting, lazy, etc.
He is a person that will understand you and be tolerant of of your opinions even if he doesn't agree. He always tries to reason or give advice. And he's fully open to change if he sees why and understands his wrongs. He has always been patient with me, I have always been very curious, and as a child I would continually ask questions, my father would always try to explain, while my mother would either ignore me or tell me to be quiet most of the time. And if told to do something, I would most often question it or argue against it, again, my father would be patient with that while my mother would just scold me and threaten me.
I am unfortunate to have been placed with my mother when my parents were divorced. On the brighter side, it "built my character".
Mom (ISTJ): we never got along. She is domineering, a control-freak, aggressive, mentally tunnel-visioned, unquestioning of authority (she expects me to be as well), manipulative, selfish, unperceptive, workaholic, very shallow, unwilling to change, uncreative, intolerant, etc. Also, I think that she shows signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
We always had a very bad relationship, it goes way beyond the list I listed. She would find things to criticize at me for, as to put me in my place. She would shout at me for the smallest of mistakes. I think she felt she was doing her "duty". If she had decided something or had an opinion or anything of the like, she would hold to it just like a Pit Bull, even if it was proven wrong or illogical, which it often was. She is totally inept at conceptualization and the like, owing largely due to her inferior Ne. She was unable to understand me and when I have explained "how I work", she hasn't accepted it, because it doesn't fit her views of how one should be, and if you don't fit with that then there must be something wrong with you. My father and mother being divorced, she has a grudge against him and his whole family. I grew up constantly hearing her describing them all as the epitomization of everything bad. I have grown up all of my life being told that all men are scumbags. Whenever any argument with her became heated (which it became very quickly) she would tell me how similar I was to my father, his brothers, his father or Hitler and several serial killers. I don't think I will ever be friends with her and I don't want to be. I could go on forever with this.
She is an extreme ISTJ, and we're the extreme opposites of each other in many ways. I think there's much more to this inter-personal issue than just MBTI types, however.
Father (INTP/ENTP/ISTP): we always got along, even more so as I became older. He is laid-back, perceptive, tolerant, funny, gentle, open-minded, caring, full of ideas, interesting, lazy, etc.
He is a person that will understand you and be tolerant of of your opinions even if he doesn't agree. He always tries to reason or give advice. And he's fully open to change if he sees why and understands his wrongs. He has always been patient with me, I have always been very curious, and as a child I would continually ask questions, my father would always try to explain, while my mother would either ignore me or tell me to be quiet most of the time. And if told to do something, I would most often question it or argue against it, again, my father would be patient with that while my mother would just scold me and threaten me.
I am unfortunate to have been placed with my mother when my parents were divorced. On the brighter side, it "built my character".
Re: INTP Parents
I really love my kids.
But sometimes I worry if I am not as loving/caring as the other parents because I need a lot of time for myself.
I hope I will be a better parent now that I am learning more about types.
I really love my kids.
But sometimes I worry if I am not as loving/caring as the other parents because I need a lot of time for myself.
I hope I will be a better parent now that I am learning more about types.
Jennywocky
Creepy Clown Chick
Re: INTP Parents
Thought this was interesting... especially the focus on the parenting as it relates to birth order, vs the birth order directly.
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/want-youngest-child-achieve-treat-him-oldest-185400966.html
(I know, kind of tangential, but... could raise new avenues of discussion.)
Thought this was interesting... especially the focus on the parenting as it relates to birth order, vs the birth order directly.
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/want-youngest-child-achieve-treat-him-oldest-185400966.html
(I know, kind of tangential, but... could raise new avenues of discussion.)
Re: INTP Parents
Dad: iSTP (ex military, engineer; likes basketball, beer, guns, solving hard problems) +
Mom: ISFJ (housewife; likes being superior, Jesus, crime shows, and her little dogs) +
Me: INtP +
Little sister #1: ENFJ +
Little sister #2: InFJ
[= chaos]
I feel like not being understood by my mom and not wanting to be like her (hyperemotional, hysterical) as well as my dad's influence (treated us like boys, hardass, encouraged and expected logical thinking) molded me but that my personality has been very consistent from a young age.
The middle sister and I are just two years apart and always felt alienated from my parents. When I learned about MBTI I understood that much of this had to do with them being sensors and us being "N"s. Middle sister is also the only extrovert in the family and I feel bad because my parents had no idea what to do with her and did not respect that she needed to be around people to be happy.
The youngest one is mysterious, is very into her art projects and reading. Has HFA and sensory processing issues but is quite sharp and perceptive even though she barely speaks.
Dad: iSTP (ex military, engineer; likes basketball, beer, guns, solving hard problems) +
Mom: ISFJ (housewife; likes being superior, Jesus, crime shows, and her little dogs) +
Me: INtP +
Little sister #1: ENFJ +
Little sister #2: InFJ
[= chaos]
I feel like not being understood by my mom and not wanting to be like her (hyperemotional, hysterical) as well as my dad's influence (treated us like boys, hardass, encouraged and expected logical thinking) molded me but that my personality has been very consistent from a young age.
The middle sister and I are just two years apart and always felt alienated from my parents. When I learned about MBTI I understood that much of this had to do with them being sensors and us being "N"s. Middle sister is also the only extrovert in the family and I feel bad because my parents had no idea what to do with her and did not respect that she needed to be around people to be happy.
The youngest one is mysterious, is very into her art projects and reading. Has HFA and sensory processing issues but is quite sharp and perceptive even though she barely speaks.
inhibitions
Secretly Holden Caulfield
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Re: INTP Parents
Very interesting. Yet, with the title of the article claiming that First-born children achieve more... And then the article also defining first-born children as typical type A conformists... Then, theoretically, success=type A conformist? Sounds boring.
My mother is an ESFP and my brother is an ENFP
I'm the only introvert. My mom thought I was depressed for a while until she realized that some people don't need/want to socialize as much as she does. While they're out on the weekends, I chill out with a book or something. While they're both smart, intellectual topics aren't something they talk about. Additionally, they're both controlled by emotions and typically become upset whenever I'm asked to voice my opinion and do so.
So, I've always felt distant to my immediate family. Guess every family has their oddball?
Very interesting. Yet, with the title of the article claiming that First-born children achieve more... And then the article also defining first-born children as typical type A conformists... Then, theoretically, success=type A conformist?
Sounds boring. My mother is an ESFP and my brother is an ENFP
I'm the only introvert. My mom thought I was depressed for a while until she realized that some people don't need/want to socialize as much as she does. While they're out on the weekends, I chill out with a book or something. While they're both smart, intellectual topics aren't something they talk about. Additionally, they're both controlled by emotions and typically become upset whenever I'm asked to voice my opinion and do so.
So, I've always felt distant to my immediate family. Guess every family has their oddball?
Jennywocky
Creepy Clown Chick
Re: INTP Parents
I'm not really sure how they are defining conformist or "Type A". I am the oldest in my family and I would definitely say I show a lot more signs of the typical pattern of the "more successful one who achieved more" -- my grades were higher with less effort, I seem to have embodied more of my parents investments and had more expectations on me than on my sister (who did more of her own thing). Yet no one would look at me and call me Type A, at all; and out of the two of us, my sister is very much more the embodiment of the culture and my parents' own value system per se.
To compare it to the parenting thing with INTPs, I feel like I am the more lenient one. I might still have expectations and desires for my kids (I want them to think and be open-minded while discerning, I want them to be honest and fair and think outside the box, etc), but I think I have been more aware of my expectations consciously than my own parents were and how I interact with my kids, and I've been careful to give them freedom to explore and freedom to choose their own path.
The thing is, I still wonder now whether I should have been more imposing on them because I perceive they have not tried as hard as they might have, and because they were children they did not take advantage of that freedom as much as they could have, and it might have harmed or limited them in some ways. There seem to be pro's and con's to each style, and it can be hard to know how much to push and how strong boundaries to put on them. Those Asian tiger moms might be very dominating and controlling, and that's not something I particularly approve of; but then again, their children do tend to accomplish more by the time they are on their own, and then can choose then to ease up themselves from a place where they have more flexibility than a place of less accomplishment and flexibility, wishing they had been pushed harder. I know I'm more accomplished musically than my kids because my parents pushed me harder at a time when I would have given up more easily.
Sounds familiar, like the difference between my ESFP kid or my ESTP dad versus the rest of the familiar which is introverted. The extroverts were the ones who were more out of place in my family in terms of E/I.
Well, out of my family growing up, I'm definitely the oddball. My family is all very S. My parents were blown away by my creative gifts -- they desired them and admired them, but also never understood them, and they also became wedges between us when it came to me holding different values than them. I was seeing outside the box and I felt like they were still within the box. But I did also feel all this pressure to conform, from them, and "be normal" and nowadays still am very aware of how my actions might be perceived. It can be kind of isolating. I think my own two N kids experience that as well (they're actually both IN); the ES kid doesn't seem to feel himself to be outside culture in the same way.
Very interesting. Yet, with the title of the article claiming that First-born children achieve more... And then the article also defining first-born children as typical type A conformists... Then, theoretically, success=type A conformist?
I'm not really sure how they are defining conformist or "Type A". I am the oldest in my family and I would definitely say I show a lot more signs of the typical pattern of the "more successful one who achieved more" -- my grades were higher with less effort, I seem to have embodied more of my parents investments and had more expectations on me than on my sister (who did more of her own thing). Yet no one would look at me and call me Type A, at all; and out of the two of us, my sister is very much more the embodiment of the culture and my parents' own value system per se.
To compare it to the parenting thing with INTPs, I feel like I am the more lenient one. I might still have expectations and desires for my kids (I want them to think and be open-minded while discerning, I want them to be honest and fair and think outside the box, etc), but I think I have been more aware of my expectations consciously than my own parents were and how I interact with my kids, and I've been careful to give them freedom to explore and freedom to choose their own path.
The thing is, I still wonder now whether I should have been more imposing on them because I perceive they have not tried as hard as they might have, and because they were children they did not take advantage of that freedom as much as they could have, and it might have harmed or limited them in some ways. There seem to be pro's and con's to each style, and it can be hard to know how much to push and how strong boundaries to put on them. Those Asian tiger moms might be very dominating and controlling, and that's not something I particularly approve of; but then again, their children do tend to accomplish more by the time they are on their own, and then can choose then to ease up themselves from a place where they have more flexibility than a place of less accomplishment and flexibility, wishing they had been pushed harder. I know I'm more accomplished musically than my kids because my parents pushed me harder at a time when I would have given up more easily.
Sounds familiar, like the difference between my ESFP kid or my ESTP dad versus the rest of the familiar which is introverted. The extroverts were the ones who were more out of place in my family in terms of E/I.
So, I've always felt distant to my immediate family. Guess every family has their oddball?
Well, out of my family growing up, I'm definitely the oddball. My family is all very S. My parents were blown away by my creative gifts -- they desired them and admired them, but also never understood them, and they also became wedges between us when it came to me holding different values than them. I was seeing outside the box and I felt like they were still within the box. But I did also feel all this pressure to conform, from them, and "be normal" and nowadays still am very aware of how my actions might be perceived. It can be kind of isolating. I think my own two N kids experience that as well (they're actually both IN); the ES kid doesn't seem to feel himself to be outside culture in the same way.
INsTeP
Member
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Re: INTP Parents
father = ISTJ
mother = ESFJ
(this combination doesn't seem to have occurred in this thread)
Neither understands me, but have given me space for which i am thankful. let me make my own decisions (" we just want you to be happy"). religious nuts, keep telling me that i am young and will "understand" things only later (keep giving examples of distant family members who were atheists at one point, but are now devoutly religious)
father = ISTJ
mother = ESFJ
(this combination doesn't seem to have occurred in this thread)
Neither understands me, but have given me space for which i am thankful. let me make my own decisions (" we just want you to be happy"). religious nuts, keep telling me that i am young and will "understand" things only later (keep giving examples of distant family members who were atheists at one point, but are now devoutly religious)
Re: INTP Parents
(Zodic sign and birth order. Interesting. But it seems like no one is interested in Zodic, so I'll just leave it.)
I discipline (or unconscious try to discipline) my youngest child the same way I discipline my oldest child, because it does not make sense to me to be different in my attitude when treating them. Is it because I am the first child in my family? Or because of my type? I could not tell.
But I often hear people telling me that they are more likely to spoil/not as strict to the younger child.
(Zodic sign and birth order. Interesting. But it seems like no one is interested in Zodic, so I'll just leave it.)
I discipline (or unconscious try to discipline) my youngest child the same way I discipline my oldest child, because it does not make sense to me to be different in my attitude when treating them. Is it because I am the first child in my family? Or because of my type? I could not tell.
But I often hear people telling me that they are more likely to spoil/not as strict to the younger child.
Windbag
I am here to wheeze.
Re: INTP Parents
Father: ENTP
Mother: ISFJ
I get along great with mom, but we live in completely different worlds. She's very religious to boot. She thinks her son is a genius, and it's sweet.
Dominant Ne is a huge chore in dad. The man has a pathological need not to come to conclusions and a glib, superficial understanding of the world around him and the people in his life. The man is exhausting.
I'm 33 and I sound like an emo teenager when I say they never understood me, but after having worked with them for the last four years: they didn't and don't. Mom is out of her depth dealing with me, and dad still thinks I'll only be happy if I have a job dealing with people, preferably as an entrepreneur. I'm going back to school to pursue an engineering career, and he thinks I've finally gone nuts.
My ISTJ wife is the one person who really tried to figure me out and see what I need as a person. I've only felt truly understood by her and my INTP best friend.
Father: ENTP
Mother: ISFJ
I get along great with mom, but we live in completely different worlds. She's very religious to boot. She thinks her son is a genius, and it's sweet.
Dominant Ne is a huge chore in dad. The man has a pathological need not to come to conclusions and a glib, superficial understanding of the world around him and the people in his life. The man is exhausting.
I'm 33 and I sound like an emo teenager when I say they never understood me, but after having worked with them for the last four years: they didn't and don't. Mom is out of her depth dealing with me, and dad still thinks I'll only be happy if I have a job dealing with people, preferably as an entrepreneur. I'm going back to school to pursue an engineering career, and he thinks I've finally gone nuts.
My ISTJ wife is the one person who really tried to figure me out and see what I need as a person. I've only felt truly understood by her and my INTP best friend.
EvilBlitz
Member
Father: INTP
Mother: ISFJ
StepFather: ISFJ
StepMother: ISFJ
Sister: ISFJ
Halfsister: ISFJ
Stepbrother1: ISFJ I think. SJ definitely
Stepbrother2: ISFJ I think. SJ definitely.
Stepbrother3: ISTJ I think. SJ definitely.
My parents divorced when I was 7. Both remaried. Stepfather already had 3 sons. Father had another child with my StepMother.
Lived with Mother and StepFather 3 Stepbrothers and Sister.
My father was pretty distant and happy to let me do what I want, but never really did any parenting and didnt really talk to me or bond with me much till my teens, but he is a good man.
My Stepmother is a very caring lady, wonderful woman.
My Sister and half sister are awesome, very caring and understanding too.
My Mother and StepFather were oppressive verbally abusive(on a few rare occasions physically as well imho) self centered assholes.
My oldest step brother growing up was a asshole, but hes ok these days.
Second step brother was a snivelling suckup when younger and hes a fucking sociopath with how obsessed he is with his place in society. Naturally he works in human resources.
Youngest Step brother was alright growing up and seems ok as adult as well.
Mother: ISFJ
StepFather: ISFJ
StepMother: ISFJ
Sister: ISFJ
Halfsister: ISFJ
Stepbrother1: ISFJ I think. SJ definitely
Stepbrother2: ISFJ I think. SJ definitely.
Stepbrother3: ISTJ I think. SJ definitely.
My parents divorced when I was 7. Both remaried. Stepfather already had 3 sons. Father had another child with my StepMother.
Lived with Mother and StepFather 3 Stepbrothers and Sister.
My father was pretty distant and happy to let me do what I want, but never really did any parenting and didnt really talk to me or bond with me much till my teens, but he is a good man.
My Stepmother is a very caring lady, wonderful woman.
My Sister and half sister are awesome, very caring and understanding too.
My Mother and StepFather were oppressive verbally abusive(on a few rare occasions physically as well imho) self centered assholes.
My oldest step brother growing up was a asshole, but hes ok these days.
Second step brother was a snivelling suckup when younger and hes a fucking sociopath with how obsessed he is with his place in society. Naturally he works in human resources.
Youngest Step brother was alright growing up and seems ok as adult as well.
Grayman
Soul Shade
Step Father ISFJ
Father ENFP
Mother INFP
I can communicate well with my mother although we disagree sometimes. I think I learned many things about emotions from her.
My step father can often misinterpret what I say even though he has known me for a 'few' years now. He is well intended and a reliable person.
I would think he would understand me more than he does since we both have Fe and Si at least in the slots of the first 4 functions.
I get along well with my father but he lives a distance away and many other complicated things I don't care to discuss.
EDIT: I want to type both my sisters as ISFP and eINFP.
Father ENFP
Mother INFP
I can communicate well with my mother although we disagree sometimes. I think I learned many things about emotions from her.
My step father can often misinterpret what I say even though he has known me for a 'few' years now. He is well intended and a reliable person.
I would think he would understand me more than he does since we both have Fe and Si at least in the slots of the first 4 functions.
I get along well with my father but he lives a distance away and many other complicated things I don't care to discuss.
EDIT: I want to type both my sisters as ISFP and eINFP.
Jennywocky
Creepy Clown Chick
Re: INTP Parents
In general, we disciplined all our kids the same -- although we knew different things worked with different kids.
However, with the oldest:
1. The fact he was oldest meant he was more capable, and thus more at the time was expected from him, when four hands wasn't enough. he ended up being more responsible, although that wasn't planned that way, simply because he could do more.
2. Parents always use the first kid as the "test case" and are usually overly restrictive because they don't know the parameters yet. Parents typically will overcompensate, not undercompensate, because the penalty for screwing up is usually far worse when you undercompensate (up to and including your child's health and maybe even life). But once you get through the first kid, you realize where you can ease up with the others so they typically have it easier.
In general, we disciplined all our kids the same -- although we knew different things worked with different kids.
However, with the oldest:
1. The fact he was oldest meant he was more capable, and thus more at the time was expected from him, when four hands wasn't enough. he ended up being more responsible, although that wasn't planned that way, simply because he could do more.
2. Parents always use the first kid as the "test case" and are usually overly restrictive because they don't know the parameters yet. Parents typically will overcompensate, not undercompensate, because the penalty for screwing up is usually far worse when you undercompensate (up to and including your child's health and maybe even life). But once you get through the first kid, you realize where you can ease up with the others so they typically have it easier.
Cherry Cola
Banned
Do ya get to post here if you're an INFJ? Interesting posts so far.
For me tis
Dad - INFJ
Mom - IxFx (can't seem to pin her down.. guessing ISFP)
Me the oldest - INFJ
3 years younger brother - INFP
6 years younger sister - INTJ (considered by the rest of the family as being most like me and vice verca, to the chagrin of us both).
9 years younger brother - ENTJ
For me tis
Dad - INFJ
Mom - IxFx (can't seem to pin her down.. guessing ISFP)
Me the oldest - INFJ
3 years younger brother - INFP
6 years younger sister - INTJ (considered by the rest of the family as being most like me and vice verca, to the chagrin of us both).
9 years younger brother - ENTJ
Grayman
Soul Shade
Wow, very judging family. I wonder how it is different than my precieving family. Maybe you have more upfront conversation. We just wait till the other guy turns around and then stab them in the back.
paradoxparadigm7
Well-Known Member
Re: INTP Parents
I loved the way you wrote this...I felt like I really got a sense of what's it was like to live in your family. The love seems evident
I loved the way you wrote this...I felt like I really got a sense of what's it was like to live in your family. The love seems evident
paradoxparadigm7
Well-Known Member
Re: INTP Parents
Sparrow is banned but I quoted because my mom would fit this description to a degree. I'm INFJ so not totally in line with the intent of the thread but...My family:
Mom: INFJ I don't think I EVER heard her back down or admit she was wrong or sorry about something she said (and she said some VERY hurtful things). Very controlling...she had to make sure I did as she expected because I was a reflection of HER. She did the same to my brother. Selfish to the nth degree at some points in her life. Nothing was ever good enough, a man-hater, very pessimistic. One of the things she often said was "Your born, you suffer and then you die". I think she was perpetually torn between ideas for how she'd like to live her life and the constraints of what her social circle wanted from her. She did have her good points. Extremely hard working, could be funny, generous in giving us things, pushing us to achieve academically, loved us fiercely in her own way, I have no doubt. I had a hard time unhooking from her as an adult. We have a decent relationship currently. I feel sorry for her.
Dad: ESTJ (I think) He died over 10 years ago but he was a good man. He was a disciplinarian and used his big hands to smack us when we got out of line but he was always fair. I was scared of him but in general he was a gentle man, slow to
anger, gave us the freedom to be children. He was very hard working, saved money that put both my brother and myself in college. The unfair thing was he often blamed my mom if he thought she wasn't keeping good tabs on us.
Brother: INTJ He was a science nerd and we had a great time exploring the natural world in the city of Chicago. He studied insects, had pigeons as pets that both he and I rescued. We played tennis, baseball, rode bikes, built forts etc but most of our bonding was a love of learning and sharing about biology, physics, philosophy and long conversations into the night. He could be very stubborn and rarely showed his feeling. He always seemed calm, thoughtful and could hold his own.
Overall, I can't complain.
Sparrow is banned but I quoted because my mom would fit this description to a degree. I'm INFJ so not totally in line with the intent of the thread but...My family:
Mom: INFJ I don't think I EVER heard her back down or admit she was wrong or sorry about something she said (and she said some VERY hurtful things). Very controlling...she had to make sure I did as she expected because I was a reflection of HER. She did the same to my brother. Selfish to the nth degree at some points in her life. Nothing was ever good enough, a man-hater, very pessimistic. One of the things she often said was "Your born, you suffer and then you die". I think she was perpetually torn between ideas for how she'd like to live her life and the constraints of what her social circle wanted from her. She did have her good points. Extremely hard working, could be funny, generous in giving us things, pushing us to achieve academically, loved us fiercely in her own way, I have no doubt. I had a hard time unhooking from her as an adult. We have a decent relationship currently. I feel sorry for her.
Dad: ESTJ (I think) He died over 10 years ago but he was a good man. He was a disciplinarian and used his big hands to smack us when we got out of line but he was always fair. I was scared of him but in general he was a gentle man, slow to
anger, gave us the freedom to be children. He was very hard working, saved money that put both my brother and myself in college. The unfair thing was he often blamed my mom if he thought she wasn't keeping good tabs on us.
Brother: INTJ He was a science nerd and we had a great time exploring the natural world in the city of Chicago. He studied insects, had pigeons as pets that both he and I rescued. We played tennis, baseball, rode bikes, built forts etc but most of our bonding was a love of learning and sharing about biology, physics, philosophy and long conversations into the night. He could be very stubborn and rarely showed his feeling. He always seemed calm, thoughtful and could hold his own.
Overall, I can't complain.
paradoxparadigm7
Well-Known Member
My INTJ brother and I were quite close and similar too.
Ex-User (8886)
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Not sure, but:
Mom: ESFJ, she hate being alone, very sensitive, empathic, never late, not very intelligent, practical, TOO MUCH careful, very organized, sometimes shy, can't hurt other even if other want hurt her;
Dad: ISTX very practical, modest, silent, prefer stay in home but can be talkative if conversation is about religion, politics, money... procrastinator, but organized (or better word is: planned), intelligent, but have little imagination, conscientious, ALWAYS is late, very bossy;
I don't like them both, because they can talk only about normal, common topics, they have lack of imagination and they always think, they know best.
But I have two cousins (very close family from father) INTP and ENTP. They are ok.
My Grandfather (from my father) is possibly INTJ , grandmother ESFX.
Grandparents from mother are both S, dont know more.
Mom: ESFJ, she hate being alone, very sensitive, empathic, never late, not very intelligent, practical, TOO MUCH careful, very organized, sometimes shy, can't hurt other even if other want hurt her;
Dad: ISTX very practical, modest, silent, prefer stay in home but can be talkative if conversation is about religion, politics, money... procrastinator, but organized (or better word is: planned), intelligent, but have little imagination, conscientious, ALWAYS is late, very bossy;
I don't like them both, because they can talk only about normal, common topics, they have lack of imagination and they always think, they know best.
But I have two cousins (very close family from father) INTP and ENTP. They are ok.
My Grandfather (from my father) is possibly INTJ , grandmother ESFX.
Grandparents from mother are both S, dont know more.
Reality is Optional
Social Rebel
Mom: INFJ
Very passionate person, you could say. She's always yelling at everyone, though.
Dad: ENTP
He's a very dramatic person. I guess it's because he's a drama teacher.
Sister: ENFP
Also dramatic. Always yelling at me to be more active, to dress better, and to get more friends that aren't "losers". She's the most S like in our family, almost an ExFP, but she's slightly more N.
They are all flawed, and get on my nerves. I always tell them that I surrounded by morons, and I'm only partly joking. Though I'm no cup of tea either, so we're even.
Very passionate person, you could say. She's always yelling at everyone, though.
Dad: ENTP
He's a very dramatic person. I guess it's because he's a drama teacher.
Sister: ENFP
Also dramatic. Always yelling at me to be more active, to dress better, and to get more friends that aren't "losers". She's the most S like in our family, almost an ExFP, but she's slightly more N.
They are all flawed, and get on my nerves. I always tell them that I surrounded by morons, and I'm only partly joking. Though I'm no cup of tea either, so we're even.
Anktark
of the swarm
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I sometimes temporarily hate my father with passion (for 3 seconds at max), because he constantly wants to share some pointless piece of information and has a habit of requiring my full attention by poking at my shoulders or back if he thinks I am not listening. And keeps interrupting people. He is not bad person, but we just don't tick. I think he is somewhere between ESFJ and ESFP.
My mother seems to be ENFJ. Bit less extroverted than my father and much less of an attention vacuum.
Other than both of them talking a lot and LOUD (and not leaving me much time to say anything), I can't think of another direct cause for me being an INTP.
My mother seems to be ENFJ. Bit less extroverted than my father and much less of an attention vacuum.
Other than both of them talking a lot and LOUD (and not leaving me much time to say anything), I can't think of another direct cause for me being an INTP.
aimlessbeing
Redshirt
Mother: ENFP
Father: INTJ
Brother: difficult type (he has bipolar disorder)
I love both my parents but my mom and I clash constantly. She often criticizes my views and thinks that I'm too heartless/robotic like my dad. I get along with my dad quite well but he often finds fault with the way I do things. He believes that I'm wasting away good potential because of disorganization etc.. Overall I'm quite lucky to be born in an intellectual household; mom is a PHD chemist and dad is an engineer so interesting discussions always ensue.
Father: INTJ
Brother: difficult type (he has bipolar disorder)
I love both my parents but my mom and I clash constantly. She often criticizes my views and thinks that I'm too heartless/robotic like my dad. I get along with my dad quite well but he often finds fault with the way I do things. He believes that I'm wasting away good potential because of disorganization etc.. Overall I'm quite lucky to be born in an intellectual household; mom is a PHD chemist and dad is an engineer so interesting discussions always ensue.
mother: INTJ
father: ISFJ
brother: xSFx (I think he uses Fe)
I have a very good relationship with my parents. They don't always understand what I am doing/thinking but they accept it and I think I am very lucky to have them as my parents. The only thing that was not that good for me was the whole judging stuff. They had very strict rules (when we eat, when to tidy up my room, when to get up, when to do what in the household, when to go to bed...) and I always longed for more flexibility (and freedom). Why is it so important to tidy up my room NOW (when I am in the middle of something) and why can't I do it later (when I have time to do it)? Still doesn't make sense to me. And so on and so forth. It still has an effect on me today although I am living alone and most of the time not a positive one.
father: ISFJ
brother: xSFx (I think he uses Fe)
I have a very good relationship with my parents. They don't always understand what I am doing/thinking but they accept it and I think I am very lucky to have them as my parents. The only thing that was not that good for me was the whole judging stuff. They had very strict rules (when we eat, when to tidy up my room, when to get up, when to do what in the household, when to go to bed...) and I always longed for more flexibility (and freedom). Why is it so important to tidy up my room NOW (when I am in the middle of something) and why can't I do it later (when I have time to do it)? Still doesn't make sense to me. And so on and so forth. It still has an effect on me today although I am living alone and most of the time not a positive one.