Number of Profile Visitors/Stalkers!

[7even]

Right, so I was just on my profile and couldn't help but notice the tab named 'Recent Visitors' and how that was quantified.
[Funnily enough I currently have 7 visits, I'd just like to mention this before proceeding... (Matches my username).]

So what's the deal? ... Frankly I feel quite unpopular right now, and just had to vent my dissatisfaction. Seeing as this is an INTP forum, and our 'Feeling' side is undeveloped, why potentially risk hurting the feelings of a fellow INTP-er?

Here are some disadvantages of this tab:
1. Stops people who are indescribably bored to post threads like this one.
2. Creates rants.
3. Creates the feeling of superiority.
4. <- It attracts these type of people.
5. <- People may abandon the forum like this.
6. <- This is cool.

So I'd like to propose the removal of this tab once and for all to avoid any other inconveniences of another person having to go through this same situation.

OR

Automatically give each new user at least '100' profile views to encourage one's well-being, and to create a sense of popularity.

I have collected the signatures of several beings, mentally of course, and because we live in a democracy we must favour this decision putting aside whether it is important or not.

Thank you. I believe a serious discussion is in order.

 

[Cavallier]

Egads. How depressing.

 

[Fukyo]

So what's the deal? ... Frankly I feel quite unpopular right now, and just had to vent my dissatisfaction. Seeing as this is an INTP forum, and our 'Feeling' side is undeveloped, why potentially risk hurting the feelings of a fellow INTP-er?


...


Automatically give each new user at least '100' profile views to encourage one's well-being, and to create a sense of popularity.

I have collected the signatures of several beings, mentally of course, and because we live in a democracy we must favour this decision putting aside whether it is important or not.

Thank you. I believe a serious discussion is in order.

 

[Puffy]

Your join date says "March 2012" and you've only made 8 posts, I wouldn't take it as an offence, I think profile views come more with time than popularity.

 

[7even]

Thank you for putting the key sentences in bold to best express the emotional side of this thread. I appreciate it!

 

[gruesomebrat]

Your join date says "March 2012" and you've only made 8 posts, I wouldn't take it as an offence, I think profile views come more with time than popularity.

Agreed. Give it a couple more weeks, post somewhat regularly, and people will start wondering who the new guy is... then go see your profile. Most of us don't have the time, or the interest, to go looking at every new person's profile.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

@7even You can make your visitors private, at least. Visitor count too, I think.

1. At the top of the page's tab list, click on UserCP
2. Look to the left side of the screen, under "Your Control Panel"
3. Click Profile Privacy
4. Set the 'Recent Visitors' tab to Contacts or Friends
5. Don't have any Contacts, or Friends
6. ???
7. Profit

 

[Kuu]

So what's the deal? ... Frankly I feel quite unpopular right now, and just had to vent my dissatisfaction. Seeing as this is an INTP forum, and our 'Feeling' side is undeveloped, why potentially risk hurting the feelings of a fellow INTP-er?

Frankly I feel quite unpopular right now...
why potentially risk hurting the feelings of a fellow INTP-er?

Frankly I feel... risk hurting the feelings... INTP-er?

I feel... feelings... INTP

Feel... INTP

No. Just... no.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

^ Hah

@7even You can make your visitors private, at least. Visitor count too, I think.

1. At the top of the page's tab list, click on UserCP
2. Look to the left side of the screen, under "Your Control Panel"
3. Click Profile Privacy
4. Set the 'Recent Visitors' tab to Contacts or Friends
5. Don't have any Contacts, or Friends
6. ???
7. Profit

Actually, you can just go here: http://intpforum.com/profile.php?do=privacy

>.<

 

[P.H.]

There are profile views?

 

[Melkor]

18,737 stalkers.


And do you know how many of them want to sexually assault me? A disappointingly small fraction of them.
Dunno why it keeps rising even after my post count per week has faded to a mere tenth of what it used to be.

I don't think it's popularity, it's more like having lots of posts in old threads, a visitor message on everyone pages and by some stroke of mad luck having created some popular threads a year or two ago.

Or maybe the Irish charm?

 

[7even]

18,737 stalkers.


And do you know how many of them want to sexually assault me? A disappointingly small fraction of them.
Dunno why it keeps rising even after my post count per week has faded to a mere tenth of what it used to be.

I don't think it's popularity, it's more like having lots of posts in old threads, a visitor message on everyone pages and by some stroke of mad luck having created some popular threads a year or two ago.

Or maybe the Irish charm?

Hahah oh I'm sure it's the Irish charm. But real shame about that small fraction, that must be a burden, I think that should defo be your aim: To increase the number of people on this forum who want to sexually assault you! ... A bird just hit my window, weird... You somehow have to set off the vibe of 'rape me ladies, I'm Irish' more efficiently... Complicated shit, or is it?

 

[Melkor]

Hahah oh I'm sure it's the Irish charm. But real shame about that small fraction, that must be a burden, I think that should defo be your aim: To increase the number of people on this forum who want to sexually assault you! ... A bird just hit my window, weird... You somehow have to set off the vibe of 'rape me ladies, I'm Irish' more efficiently... Complicated shit, or is it?

Indeed. In fact that small fractions tends to be Cognisant and Fukyo, just repeatedly. :-: Haven't you shitehawks heard of restraining orders!?

(If the bird is no longer living, I suggest you post it to me. I'm hungry)

I dunno, maybe with Paddy's day upcoming they'll be more sympathetic!

 

[Jennywocky]

Your join date says "March 2012" and you've only made 8 posts, I wouldn't take it as an offence, I think profile views come more with time than popularity.

ye gads, 8 posts? I feel much better now!

We need SOMETHING to work with, you know. we're not that easy.

Hahah oh I'm sure it's the Irish charm. But real shame about that small fraction, that must be a burden, I think that should defo be your aim: To increase the number of people on this forum who want to sexually assault you! ... A bird just hit my window, weird... You somehow have to set off the vibe of 'rape me ladies, I'm Irish' more efficiently... Complicated shit, or is it?

That's the spirit -- I won't forget you now.

 

[speiss]

Indeed. In fact that small fractions tends to be Cognisant and Fukyo, just repeatedly. :-:

I resent this.

 

[7even]

I resent this.

Oh do say why, express yourself! - I'm sure Melkor would love to know!

 

[7even]

Hm, I was wondering when to say this but I felt it would be sort of awkward... I'll say it anyway: I thought increasing the font size of 'indescribably bored' to the maximum and highlighting it red would hint that this thread was just a joke, improvisation! I was bored! - I really thought people would realize and reply with a joke, or something. Didn't expect people to reply in a serious manner..

A proper rant about the number of people visiting your page? ...Really? ... C'mon guys! ...now it's awkward...

 

[Synthetix]

7even, I visited your page to make you feel better about yourself. But I have more than 5x the number of views you have, not trying to be mean.

Just get some attention and be an ass or a sweetheart and people will stalk your page. Do some crazy shit. Walk down your street at 2am and play army with your friends while drunk and wearing a cape.

 

[speiss]

Oh do say why, express yourself! - I'm sure Melkor would love to know!

BECAUSE HE'S MINE AND NO-ONE ELSE'S.

Well, except that pot of gold he has undoubtedly passed out in by now.

And who's responding seriously? Who does anything serious ever?

I think the profile count should start at 1 million, and whoever reaches zero first should be whacked in the face with a paddle.

 

[7even]

7even, I visited your page to make you feel better about yourself. But I have more than 5x the number of views you have, not trying to be mean.

Just get some attention and be an ass or a sweetheart and people will stalk your page. Do some crazy shit. Walk down your street at 2am and play army with your friends while drunk and wearing a cape.

Haha I'm not actually fussed! - I won't feel better about myself from page views! I made an account 2 days ago! :P Was just having some fun with this thread! Jeeeez.

I've walked/ran down several streets naked drunk and sober! Never wore a cape though, if you've done that... Nice. Hahaha

 

[7even]

And who's responding seriously? Who does anything serious ever?

I think the profile count should start at 1 million, and whoever reaches zero first should be whacked in the face with a paddle.

Haha wasn't sure, feel like some people were, but I completely agree... Some people do, which is really weird, will never understand..

And excellent proposition But a banana would be more humorous I reckon!

 

[speiss]

An excellent proposition But a banana would be more humorous, I reckon!

I disagree! Paddles are much more likely to at least cause nose bleeds.

 

[Meer]

I kind of feel bad for my stalkers for having a thoroughly unsatisfying 'About Me' section.

 

[Mello]

Some people love to take jokes seriously.

 

[7even]

Some people love to take jokes seriously.

Can take a joke seriously as a joke.. I've done that, or is that what you mean?

 

[7even]

I disagree! Paddles are much more likely to at least cause nose bleeds.

You're right, fuck it, a paddle it is..

 

[7even]

I kind of feel bad for my stalkers for having a thoroughly unsatisfying 'About Me' section.

Haha your 'About Me' section is funny.

 

[Cognisant]

I kind of feel bad for my stalkers for having a thoroughly unsatisfying 'About Me' section.

You're a bad person and you should feel bad.

 

[Cavallier]

@7even Multi-quoting in the same comment is easier for you and makes the twitching in my left eye subside.

 

[Nibbler]

I noticed this feature yesterday. It makes me self-concious. "STOP LOOKING AT ME! STOP LOOKING AT MEEE!"

Funny anecdote: I was very briefly a member of bodybuilding.com's forums. I got into it with some meathead who was being just a fucking bully especially to the women. He writes to me something about how I must love him since I've been to his profile so many times and he can see that I had been because he's a special member with that priveledge.

I said yep, I visit all the time because he wrote affirmations to himself like (making it up, but just like this): "YOU ARE AWESOME DUDE" and "You will SHRED and people are fucking AMAZED!"

I was showing people and said as much. He shut the fuck up and took down the embarrassing nonsense.

 

[Melkor]

I wonder if I will become a forum God when my Profile views reach 20,000?


I hereby promise to be an entirely disloyal, erratic, visible and occassionally useful God/trickster.

 

[Cognisant]

*whacks Melkor with a rolled up New Scientist magazine*

No! Don't use the 'g' word.

 

[Melkor]

*whacks Melkor with a rolled up New Scientist magazine*

No! Don't use the 'g' word.

Geneticist?

 

[Cognisant]

Gynaecologist.

...oh I thought this was a word association game.

 

[Melkor]

Psh, Science isn't real Cog!

Science is just our way of understanding how God made everything possible!

*Smiles blankly*

 

[Cognisant]

I... uh... *stares blankly for a minute*

*slowly smiles*

So if my robots kick your ass and take over the world I'm not only absolved of all responsibility, I will in fact be carrying out the purpose of my existence because apparently that's exactly what was supposed to happen.

 

[Melkor]

I... uh... *stares blankly for a minute*

*slowly smiles*

So if my robots kick your ass and take over the world I'm not only absolved of all responsibility, I will in fact be carrying out the purpose of my existence because apparently that's exactly what was supposed to happen.

No silly!

We twist the wording to our liking so that when you do something bad it's suddenly free will and thus WRONG.

However, any of your creative works and or inventions are the inherent property of God.

 

[Cognisant]

Actually considering that legally my inventions are my property, that makes me God.

*hits Melkor with the rolled up magazine again, then himself*

 

[Melkor]

Actually considering that legally my inventions are my property, that makes me God.

*hits Melkor with the rolled up magazine again, then himself*

But God owns your everything!

*Lifts out a concrete version of the King James Bible and whacks Cog with it*

Ahah! Not so fun laughing at 'biblebashers' now, is it!?

 

[Cognisant]

Cog staggers back to his feet, his hair slick with blood, steps forward and stumbles into Melkor, leaning into him with his head on Melkor's shoulder he whispers "Fuck god, I know the soul works" then slides off to the side and dies, a shallow pool of blood spreading across the pavement.

A limousine glides to a stop beside this macabre scene and a figure in a crisp suit steps out, "Men may die, but their ideas are immortal" he says.

 

[Melkor]

*Melkor shrugs at the now deceased Cognisant with a bored look and checks his phone for any new messages*

Huhhh. Who's that?

*Frowns at the tremendously ugly newcomer*


Not if I kill every sonnova'bitch that has an idea.

*Snaps some of Cog's plating off and jams it into the newcomers throat*

ANYBODY ELSE GOT A BIG IDEA?

 

[Cognisant]

*there's a message on Melkor's phone*

[Y'know about 90% of your profile views came from me....]

 

[Melkor]

*Looks at it*

Ugh. I told the Pope to stop texting me! Doesn't he realise I don't swing that way!?

*Drops his phone in a bin*

Time to find a new phone I guess.

*Sticks his thumbs in his pockets with a whistle, and after scavenging Cog's corpse for his wallets, walks off with a spring in his step.*

 

[Deleted member 1424]

*Looks at it*

Ugh. I told the Pope to stop texting me! Doesn't he realise I don't swing that way!?

*snickers*
You so do.

I've seen the 'sexy' altar boy outfit you keep stashed away.

 

[Melkor]

*snickers*
You so do.

I've seen the 'sexy' altar boy outfit you keep stashed away.

That was for a party!

Honestly Addy, stop bringing that up!

So I went to a Halloween party and didn't have sex with you, get over it!

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I've got spiny, black tentacles now.
You should really be more polite, Melly-chan.

 

[Melkor]

I'm not afraid of your...sleek black exterior...or your...strangely erotic invertabrate attachments!
0-0
*Cough*

 

[Deleted member 1424]

strangely erotic invertabrate attachments!

Oh? You like them?
I got them at a special emporium, came highly recommended.

Anyway, my profile views have been stuck in the 5000s for ages.
Hop to it forum!
Or face the wrath of my black tentacle.

Spoiler

I swear I'm not plagiarizing Kuu

 

[Lot]

I think Melkor and Cognisant are my two favorite people after that display. But in all fairness, you guys only exist in my mind. Along with this whole forum!Dun dun DUN!

 

[Auburn]

*jailbreaks out of Lot's mind!*

freeeedooommm!!! \o/