hate to see this trend. your brain isn't chemically fucked up, you don't need chemical corrections. your problems are isolation, both from action in general and from people. you are hiding and 'spiritually bypassing' by using your abundant imagination to dream up a storyline for your live, that does not involve any interaction with the environment. this is perceived as borderlining on psychosis by other people, some may call it schizotypal, the word maladaptive daydreaming comes to mind also, but imagination is not a disease that must be chemically suppressed. i really despise these drug pushers. you are emotionally deprived and in some ways seem underdeveloped like a child, for instance how you won't even bother about your looks, it's reminds me of how a pre 12-year old child would not yet care about such things. you are also naive like a child, because you do not perceive other people correctly. large aspects of the agendas of grown ups are not on your radar, because you don't have them in your own mind. this gives you some autistic traits. I believe you will happily perceive doctors as half gods in white. this developmental oddity can neither be fixed chemically nor otherwise. but the aspect of deprivation needs to be met with some psychotherapy or love, because this is what motivates you to escape into imagination. anything that can relax your body might wake up suppressed emotions and if they are acceptable, it might result in better integration of your upper and your lower levels in return. therefore bodywork or any form of physical activity might also be helpful to you.
as mentioned in the january thread, my fasting has lead to a relaxation of my emotional body, which affects my behavior in surprising manner, rendering me more expressive. loosing much bodyfat implies both muscular relaxation and detoxification. commuting with a bike since 2 years, three times a week, has had fantastic effects on my overall mood and optimism. not to mention how my dementia has stopped to proceed, after abandoning
cholesterol from animal sources and overt fats in general, since clogged arteries are the main cause of alzheimers. this is how a body should be treated on a chemical level. not swallowing fucking pills every fucking day for the rest of your live and turning your body into a chemical waste dump. mdma a few times per year is worth discussing ...
