Art-Toyon-Aga
Realm of Impossibilities
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- Jul 30, 2012
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No need to repost, it'll get approved by whomever logs in first.![]()
That's cuz we'll kick yer butt.![]()
But from my expereince INTPs feel emotions in one of two ways, they either almost completly shut them down and are not emotional at all, or they rarely have emotions, but when they do they are very immature, childlike, and explosive by nature.
For someone who has a strong Fe, I don't see that being a problem, but I don't know very many INTPs that understand the emotions of others and can walk this delicate Feeling tightrope.
I think I will stick to going after the more softer Feeler type girls untill I mature a bit and get a better understanding.
I don't doubt that...
But from my expereince INTPs feel emotions in one of two ways, they either almost completly shut them down and are not emotional at all, or they rarely have emotions, but when they do they are very immature, childlike, and explosive by nature.
I am part of the second group, I have very strong emotions that never get out, because they are to underdeveloped and naive for me to let them out on a normal basis.
Relationships are about emotion.
If I were to be with an INTP girl that never showed any emotion, it would make me feel stiffled like I could also never feel anything about the relationship.
I think it would take a certain amount of maturity, which I lack, for an INTP guy to be able to handle and INTP girl on an emotional level. It is that Fe that is the issue. A girl still wants to feel like a girl, but you don't want to push the buttons of that super strong and stubborn Ti, because it will push back, and it will push back hard. I would think that you would have to bring out femenine feelings inside of her, but never, ever, ever do anything to make her feel like she is less powerfull or independent because of it.
For someone who has a strong Fe, I don't see that being a problem, but I don't know very many INTPs that understand the emotions of others and can walk this delicate Feeling tightrope.
Like I said, it would have to be a more mature INTP than I. My own Fe is a big babby...
That's cuz we'll kick yer butt.![]()
You sound like you have a lot of experience. It is highly accurate too and corresponds almost exactly to my own, single, experience. I wish I had known you then. I am a powerful Fi with a highly undeveloped Ti regarding human relationships. My Ne is excellent for perceiving ways of helping people, but it was baffled in the extreme by the incredible phenomenon of a female Ti-lead.
In my experience, she did express emotions, but the Ti, of course, was the dominant function.
My emotions are gigantic, catastrophic, epic, and very hard to manage. They are also related to a core set of values that I have not really defined yet, but they are there. Her Fe was delightful and scary at the same time because it was governed by Ti which can come to conclusions that seem entirely unrelated to the emotional world I inhabit daily. That was terrifying to me because I had no idea what was going on underneath.
My maturity wasn't high enough either. I have had limited social interaction in my life, and my Fi is therefore also still childlike. In fact, I can still feel the ten-year old boy inside fighting against this hateful adulthood. I failed miserably with her. I had no idea what was happening and am only really learning now.
And, of course, my Fe is almost non-existent; which probably left her often wondering where I was.
So's my Fi. There have been times when I felt like all the pain of the universe has descended upon me. It happens frequently. I usually keep my screams inside, but sometimes when I am alone I let them out vocally.
Her Fe was actually able to reach into those depths and soothe them, and with further enhancement... I don't know. But it is better that she is not exposed to that catastrophe again!
Wherever she is, I hope she knows I am sorry for all of that and wish and pray her all the best.
The only being, subsequently, I've found who can see and reach into those depths is the Theotokos. And she is trans-dimensional.
Thanks for this post, Tony3d. It also helps me a lot.
I don't doubt that...
But from my expereince INTPs feel emotions in one of two ways, they either almost completly shut them down and are not emotional at all, or they rarely have emotions, but when they do they are very immature, childlike, and explosive by nature.
...
I'd date an INTP chick because she'd like to try the things I like to do... in the butt.
But from my expereince INTPs feel emotions in one of two ways, they either almost completly shut them down and are not emotional at all, or they rarely have emotions, but when they do they are very immature, childlike, and explosive by nature.
I am part of the second group, I have very strong emotions that never get out, because they are to underdeveloped and naive for me to let them out on a normal basis.
Relationships are about emotion.
If I were to be with an INTP girl that never showed any emotion, it would make me feel stiffled like I could also never feel anything about the relationship.
If I were to be with an INTP girl that had very immature and explosive emotions burried deep down, neither of us would be strong enough Feelers to bring that out in a healthy way, and we would probably go from feeling emotionally caged into a corner, to exloding with crazy immature things that don't account much to the feelings of others.
Excellent post. I also agree that as much as I like INTPs, having a relationship with one would be a disaster for me. I've heard of some who did this and said it worked, but of course one doesn't know if they really are INTP's and how well it worked or didn't work.
At any rate the most common relationship dynamic I've seen is N-N, or S-S, and then T-F or F-T. The rest of the letters don't matter so much, but it seems like more often than not I-I and E-E. So we see
XSTX-XSFX (most common, with the T in either the male or female, same for the F). Frequently you'll see SP-SP and SJ-SJ however, which seems to somewhat predominate.
NFs most often with NT's
I've seen some dual-feeler marriages up close - what a disaster! Nobody to do the level headed thinking. I've got a sibling with that, talk about financial disasters!
Anyhow these observations make a lot of sense if you think about it. S-S & N-N are speaking the same language. The S-S will cement their place in society together happily. The N-N duality will likewise persue their goals of truth and beauty together.
Once that is done, then the F-T or T-F need to match. The Thinker needs the warmth of the Feeler in their life, and likewise the Feeler needs the rationality of the Thinker.
Dual feeler couples are pure mush, as I've said. Dual thinkers I've seen have relationships that are too harsh, in my experience. As mentioned Introverts tend to do well with Introverts, as they can stay home together. Likewise for E-E. So given these ideas, you might say these are good combinations (of course there are many other factors)
(Align on E-I and S-N, opposite on T-F and P-J)
INTP-INFJ (ideal) -ENFJ (next ideal)
INFP-INTJ (ideal) -ENTJ (next ideal)
ENTP-ENFJ (ideal) -INFJ (next ideal)
ENFP-ENTJ (ideal) -INTJ (next ideal)
ISTP-ISFJ (ideal) -ESFJ (next ideal)
ISFP-ISTJ (ideal) -ESTJ (next ideal)
ESTP-ESFJ (ideal) -ISFJ (next ideal)
ESFP-ESTJ (ideal) -ISTJ (next ideal)
Though I'm not sure about my type, this is totally me. I couldn't handle my feelings, I didn't know what was going on inside me, or my partner. I was quiet paranoid about his feelings, and became really hostile (so did he), and we began to fight for dominance. We couldn't talk about it, and everything went wrong. In the end it was me who tried to talk about things, but it was hard and awkward. Also, I always tried to get little "we are okay emotionally" signs, because I was so unsure about things.
So, when I got feelings for someone, my mind totally broke down, and I couldn't think normally. I don't feel safe, I feel something cracked, and when I don't get what I expect to, I feel really uncomfortable and neurotic.
Now I try to be mature emotionally, and cool myself down, give my partner more freedom. I try to talk about all the things, and avoid being so paranoid and obsessive.
Of course it's really funny how my Ti appears and disappears when I'm in love. I use to analyze my partner, and understand everything about him, but it was usually too much and maniac. I can rationalize everything, and that's really bad.
Maybe a little wiser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--DPRtBMLXY
...
Mommy! Scawee!
...
Her countenance really is creepy, though.
-Duxwing
I haven't bothered watching the entire video. I get annoyed watching peoples speaking videos... It's so much slower than just reading, and requires me to turn off music.
I've currently fallen for what I'm fairly certain is an INTP female...
So you can see how this would make any relationship with an OEM (Overly emotional male) a total disaster.
I agree on this topic of OEMs.
It can be hard dealing with someone in general who expects more than one naturally gives (and might even feel like it's not cool to give that much -- in this instance, where it feels like you are coddling someone or mom'ing them more than having a mutual relationship).
There are guys who I thought were great people, but would not be involved with because they would read our difference in this kind of emotional exchange as me just being cold or unsupportive. I'm actually very supportive as a person, it's just that I don't have the energy to pour a lot of it into overt constant display / reinforcement of affection. I'm not really high maintenance, aside from liking to spend quality time interacting with people I really like if they're available.
The last guy realized that I was only giving him 70 percent of what he needed, so he decided to hold back completely on his affection.
And if I cant, my absence will not be out of spite.
For the sake of knowledge and in a futile attempt to do relationships right, I've watched most of the video. Some random thoughts.
You said what INTP females dislike in other types (Exxx, xSxx, xxFx, xxxJ). I honestly can identify with most of these reasons, is there any diffrence here between males and females? If you stated the same reasonings for INTP males, would they still apply?
You state INTP females like sex. Well, your secret is out now @Jennywocky, you can stop being subtle. (Have mentions been fixed yet?)
'She's going to see that there are bigger things than you... such as ... theoretical physics!' You managed to make me laugh. I think I can live with that quality, haha.
Honestly tho, INTP females. What do you hate about INTP males? The video has lots of advice concerning other types, but as an INTP I think many of these things don't really apply anymore. None of this helps me!![]()
I think problems arise when they assume Low maintenance = No maintenance.
Or low maintenance = Low quality, and so they are not compelled (By their own emotions) to care for us properly.
I just dont view the world that way.
Just because my television doesnt need to be maintained as my car doesnt mean Im going to neglect it, or try to wreck it.
My emotional attachment to any given person does not affect how good a lover, friend, daughter, or cousin I am; If I say Im going to do something, or be somewhere, I'll do it; I'll show up.
And if I cant, my absence will not be out of spite.
You state INTP females like sex. Well, your secret is out now @Jennywocky, you can stop being subtle. (Have mentions been fixed yet?)
Honestly tho, INTP females. What do you hate about INTP males?
You said what INTP females dislike in other types (Exxx, xSxx, xxFx, xxxJ). I honestly can identify with most of these reasons, is there any diffrence here between males and females? If you stated the same reasonings for INTP males, would they still apply?
Honestly tho, INTP females. What do you hate about INTP males? The video has lots of advice concerning other types, but as an INTP I think many of these things don't really apply anymore. None of this helps me!![]()
Honestly tho, INTP females. What do you hate about INTP males? The video has lots of advice concerning other types, but as an INTP I think many of these things don't really apply anymore. None of this helps me!![]()