balles roses
Redshirt
- Local time
- Today 3:05 PM
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2010
- Messages
- 1
I fall on the 50/50 split between P and J. Two of my closest friends are ENTJ and ENFP, respectively, and there are times I feel blessed to walk the line between, for the troubles I see either dealing with by themselves (inflexibility and conditional perfectionism that ignores worthy ideals to adhere to noticed ones vs. extreme indecisiveness and consequences for impulsive, irresponsible actions). However most of the time I tend to feel like the clashing of my separate inclinations is debilitating. I doubt myself more than anyone I have ever met and am often ashamed for reasons I either cannot properly articulate or do not wish to clarify.
I feel there is a great power here that could be harnessed, if only I knew how. I do not mind exhibiting either J or P behavior at one time, but with both tendencies buzzing around in my head, I feel like showing both makes me seem unintelligent: spirited but reluctant, opinionated but capricious. I also feel as if those who find themselves in territory further on either side have the advantage, for being either more certain about what they know or more fearless about what they want.
It's only when others point out the strengths I possess in action that I even notice them, and soon after, my awareness fades. My friends on the J side claim they envy that life seems more like an adventure to me than a test as it does for them, and my P friends say they appreciate the way I "prune" things, or can prioritize things in abstract discussion to clarify the information at hand. However I usually believe myself to be either mired in my own temporary impressions, which I can never draw a point from and afterward seem ill-informed or downright flimsy, or sailing straight ahead without a compass though I could have charted a course. In my stubborn longing to be right but profound incapability to define "right," determine what is right or believe something is right rather than wrong, I often fall upon defeatism, which disgusts me.
This is a topic I have attempted to relieve with friends on either side. The J side says to "stop wavering and just do it;" the P side says "hey man don't worry about it, just go with the flow!" To a member of one camp, to belong to the other seems like the worst kind of Hell... It makes one feel cursed!
Any ideas, INTPs and lurking INTJs? This very conflict may keep my peace of mind at bay forever....
I feel there is a great power here that could be harnessed, if only I knew how. I do not mind exhibiting either J or P behavior at one time, but with both tendencies buzzing around in my head, I feel like showing both makes me seem unintelligent: spirited but reluctant, opinionated but capricious. I also feel as if those who find themselves in territory further on either side have the advantage, for being either more certain about what they know or more fearless about what they want.
It's only when others point out the strengths I possess in action that I even notice them, and soon after, my awareness fades. My friends on the J side claim they envy that life seems more like an adventure to me than a test as it does for them, and my P friends say they appreciate the way I "prune" things, or can prioritize things in abstract discussion to clarify the information at hand. However I usually believe myself to be either mired in my own temporary impressions, which I can never draw a point from and afterward seem ill-informed or downright flimsy, or sailing straight ahead without a compass though I could have charted a course. In my stubborn longing to be right but profound incapability to define "right," determine what is right or believe something is right rather than wrong, I often fall upon defeatism, which disgusts me.
This is a topic I have attempted to relieve with friends on either side. The J side says to "stop wavering and just do it;" the P side says "hey man don't worry about it, just go with the flow!" To a member of one camp, to belong to the other seems like the worst kind of Hell... It makes one feel cursed!
Any ideas, INTPs and lurking INTJs? This very conflict may keep my peace of mind at bay forever....