Letter to a young INTP

[Architect]

Not my creation, but I came across this little bit of brilliance in a search recently

Part I

Part II

Written for a younger INTP from an INTP in mid-life. Being one myself (mid-life INTP) these missives hit the mark very closely. There are other aspects of being in midlife not covered, but there is much good reading there.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Dang, that was pretty good.

Now for Part II...

 

[Philosophyking87]

I'll read these later, when I have time.
They look very interesting.

Off to write my essay for logic class. =|

 

[MissQuote]

That first one was quite interesting.

 

[The Gopher]

" This process can be dangerous, however, if jarring, paradigm-changing evidence hits us too often. Our lives can be turned upside down by it. There certainly can be value in having a strong emotional anchor to us through storms and rough water. As INTPs, we can get blown onto the rocks."

Heh no comment

 

[Kuu]

Good stuff indeed. Nice find Architect.

 

[Jason Evans]

Thanks for the link, Architect! I'm the author of the articles. As INTP's, we have so little opportunity to help each other in the physical world. But here, we can overcome geography. If I've been able to crack any of the INTP conundrums, and if those observations can help my INTP brothers and sisters, then I'm happy to have made the burdens a little lighter!

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Definitely an interesting read.

I really liked the encyclopedia analogy and defining of what is "normal" for an INTP.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

Enjoying this so far. The bit about the earth-shattering effect of paradigm-changing evidence resonated with me because one of my first posts on the forum was about someone challenging the validity of the MBTI. Fortunately, a few nice people talked me down off the ledge and I'm okay now, but I did read a little of another rather anti-MBTI Web site last night. It was upsetting, but far less so this time around. The guy just sounded bitter and, dare I say it, jealous that so many people found benefit and solace in something he didn't agree with.

I see Myers-Briggs now as one of many varieties of belief under the umbrella of personality theory. To me, it's little different from varieties of religious experience. They haven't undergone much empirical testing, but they work for a lot of people, and as long as I'm not compelled to go along with them, fine. There were a few moments where I felt like the journey to find what was unique and good about me was so amazing that I was going to make everyone else go on the same journey. That would have been some bitter irony there.

I am also an INTP at what I hope is mid-life. I'm one of the oldest students in my master's program, where most of the other students are half my age. I'm planning to make personality theory a central part of one of my class projects. I mentioned this idea briefly to one of those twenty-something kids, and he looked so hungry for more knowledge, I wish I could have told him everything I knew right then and there. I'm not sure about the other three letters, but he's definitely an "I." Maybe I'll direct him to this forum and Jason Evans's excellent blog anyway.

 

[lucky12]

I wish I could have told him everything I knew right then and there.

You should know by now that this usually provokes a look similar to in the other person.

 

[Ejno]

Thanks for the link, I found it to be a very insightful piece of writing, especially the encyclopedia analogy.

 

[Lot]

Great read. I was able to make a lot of parallels to things I've been struggling with. Thanks!

 

[eagor]

very interesting

on a side note i loved the opening joke

 

[Pyropyro]

I enjoyed the read. I probably won't find a mindmate but I can still satiate that "intellectual hunger" with nice discussions with NT friends and you guys.

Hmm... I better start collecting those truth pebbles soon

 

[Architect]

There's not a lot of really good, cut-to-the-bone material in MBTI. Fortunately, for reasons I'm entirely unsure of, we INTP's have a better selection than most types.

Particularly I appreciated hearing the idea that we don't feel, per-se, we think. Thus we can be blown to the rocks on occasion, because the personal-feeling-timeline is particularly weak. I've noticed this, because most people can't change. Further more they won't change, whereas I believe I have significantly changed over my lifetime. Fundamental beliefs, behaviors, viewpoints ... it amazes me to see people make the same old tired mistakes and behaviors time, and time, and time again ... doesn't it get boring? A corollary is I see no problem with the idea of having my consciousness moved somewhere else. Into a clone, or a computer ... most people can't seem to conceive of the idea of being separated from their body, whereas I see it as arbitrary.

The flip side is that I'm probably more prone to identity-crisis then other people.

 

[mke2686]

Wow, great read.

 

[A22]

Very nice reading, as most things in this forum. It never fails to astonish me how the MBTI is precise. The more I read about the way of thinking and lifestyle of INTP's, the more I learn about myself, a fellow INTP.

I wonder if the author knows about this forum.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

I'm the author of the articles.

I'd say he knows

 

[Architect]

I enjoyed the read. I probably won't find a mindmate but I can still satiate that "intellectual hunger" with nice discussions with NT friends and you guys.

I was extraordinarily fortunate to have found, and kept, my mind mate (INFJ) ever since early college. We've had our troubles - all couples do, but nothing major and that relationship is so important to me as we get older.

Whereas I've never been able to keep a long term friend, for all the reasons he writes about in that article. Which I regret, but I can't help my nature, too many old friends demanded what I couldn't give (endless mind numbing sitcom entertainment). And gave little in return.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

I was extraordinarily fortunate to have found, and kept, my mind mate (INFJ) ever since early college.

I found mine (ENTJ) in my mid-20s. Sometimes we will say the same thing at the same time. Other times we argue with some degree of acrimony, but we've almost made it to the quarter-century mark. If you'd told me that's how it would turn out when we met, I would have thought you quite mad.

 

[Jason Evans]

I've gotten a request to do an article on INTP romantic relationships, which the person described as the "bane of our existence." I probably don't disagree!

I did want to pose a question to my fellow INTP's as I collect my thoughts.

Tell me whether this little narrative sounds familiar to you. "When my relationship hits rough patches and hard feelings start multiplying between us, when we finally break the ice and talk about what is upsetting us, I usually find a chain of cause/effect events where I was the first person to react and get angry at (or hurt or disappointed or unfulfilled by) my partner. It then seems like my partner reacted to me, setting off the downward spiral. He or she was completely unaware that I was upset in the first place, and once the spiral started, he or she kept misinterpreting my feelings or reasons. I still think that I was right to be upset, because I can describe exactly why that thing was a problem."

 

[thelithiumcat]

Accurate, yes. I don't find that restricted to romantic relationships, necessarily. Any relationship important to me will undergo that level of analysis.

 

[Cavallier]

Here are the unnatural things that we INTPs have to learn to do in order to better understand people: (1) give adequate weight to the motivating power of emotion in other people (and ourselves) and (2) understand the roots of that emotion. We stomp down emotion and will always choose a logical answer over an emotional one. Most of the other personality types are not that way, however. Until we successfully deconstruct the power of emotion (including how it still affects us despite our efforts to kill it), we have little hope of successfully navigating emotions in others. We will not be able to understand what the actions of other people mean and how to predict them.

This is something I wish I'd learned long long ago. Somewhere in my early 20's I figured it out and it has made all the difference for me.

 

[thelithiumcat]

Emotions are difficult to understand (although I guess that's what keeps me hooked). I recognise which triggers will set off which emotional responses, and certain patterns which play out once an emotional episode has begun, but I've done this through thorough and long-term observation of myself. It's therefore extremely subjective. I hesitate to apply it to anyone else. I might, but I would regard it as unproven and wouldn't rely on it.

 

[Rakshasa]

An absolutely fascinating read. It helped establish a baseline for INTPs as a whole, then went on to explain how we are different in this baseline.

The encyclopedia analogy was brilliant, and the part about being more of an entertainer than a friend seemed a harrowing parallel to my own social experiences.

I shall have to give weight to his suggestions. Thanks for the link.

 

[KMaki]

A good read. Especially the second one struck a chord.

 

[Architect]

I've gotten a request to do an article on INTP romantic relationships, which the person described as the "bane of our existence." I probably don't disagree!

I did want to pose a question to my fellow INTP's as I collect my thoughts.

Tell me whether this little narrative sounds familiar to you. "When my relationship hits rough patches and hard feelings start multiplying between us, when we finally break the ice and talk about what is upsetting us, I usually find a chain of cause/effect events where I was the first person to react and get angry at (or hurt or disappointed or unfulfilled by) my partner. It then seems like my partner reacted to me, setting off the downward spiral. He or she was completely unaware that I was upset in the first place, and once the spiral started, he or she kept misinterpreting my feelings or reasons. I still think that I was right to be upset, because I can describe exactly why that thing was a problem."

The earlier part not so much for me, but the part in bold is particularly true. I can describe exactly what made me upset usually, and often/sometimes my partner misinterprets my emotions and doesn't listen to what I am saying.

Not always, sometimes she knows something is wrong with me before I do.

 

[Tetr]

I haven't come around to read it yet, but he came out with chapter III a month ago.

 

[HDINTP]

Nice

 

[Sanctum]

I read all 3 parts very insightful, gonna have to bookmark this or print it out. Me being 16 I feel its important to have something like this on hand.

 

[ghostrobot]

Very cool, touched on a lot of things that I've been trying to work out on my own lately.

 

[skip]

Am I the only one didn't like it? I could barely get through the first one.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Am I the only one didn't like it? I could barely get through the first one.

Looks that way. What didn't you like?

 

[Thurlor]

That was quite a good read. Like a lot of others I especially liked the encyclopaedia analogy.

 

[m.love]

Thanks for posting. I especially enjoyed part 2 on overload. It definitely speaks to perfectionism and how it gets in the way every time. I wish I could print it out and hand it out any time someone asks why something isn't done yet.

I once heard this piece of advice on how to 'fix' this overload issue. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...Maybe the pebble analogy is just a variation. But it's much easier to keep pebbles around rather than an elephant...you know, as a gentle reminder?

Got a bit lost on the relationship piece. I'll have to re-read.

 

[pjoa09]

Looks that way. What didn't you like?

Isn't interested in interpersonal topics?

I didn't find it that interesting because they are interpersonal topics.

 

[Tetr]

The relationship part resonated well with us. She (INFJ) even laughed at how much it resembled us.

 

[fivepointer]

I immensely enjoyed this series; I hope to see more posts from him in this vein.

 

[AkaruiRain]

I love it when people write with analogies.

Just wish some of the larger points made a little more sense in my mind--but it definitely did brighten up the place.

 

[dreamoftheunknown]

Nice read. I really liked the part about finding out what people are good at and connecting with them through that. It took me a long time to figure this one out. I spent years looking for a mindmate (and I still do) and came up empty. There were a few people with whom I had had that kind of connection for a short while, but it always died, and painfully. The last time that happened, I finally gave up on the idea and instead decided to focus on connecting with my friends in the areas I realized they were good at. Some friends I can talk to about emotional issues (rare, on both counts). Some friends I can talk to about my research. Some friends I can talk to about the practical aspects of my job and life. And some friends (also rare) can hear about my wacky ideas. It seemed like a better solution to dispairing, and it has worked pretty well. But just one observation, I don't think the failure to realize this is limited to INTPs. Idealists are just as bad - I've had to explain all of this to my INFP sister on more than one occasion.

I also really related to the part about Persistent Reaction. I've observed this in just about every fight I've ever had with other people. What the other person thinks is just one fight about an isolated incident is actually the sum of several fights (past, present, and future; whether they've occurred in reality or only in my imagination) and is about everything that person has ever done that has pissed me off or hurt me and everything I predict that person will ever do that will piss me off or hurt me (and, actually all the same stuff done or to be done by "similar" people). Sometimes, it's not even about other people, it's about me and what kind of behavior/treatment I'll put up with. In that case, it's more like a fight against an idea rather than a person. It baffles the hell out of everyone involved, including me. I'm glad that someone finally pegged that one down.

 

[ummidk]

^so you expect posters who are from England and USA to post articles in Polish?

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

^so you expect posters who are from England and USA to post articles in Polish?

It's good idea

 

[ZenRaiden]

Interesting. One particular thing I remember from part I to paraphrase , naturally primed to unerstand the working world.

 

[Wary Wings]

It's strange; I've manifested a large deal of thought into the idea of "becoming someone", more so then "being yourself." If introverted feeling is an INTP's final shadow function, this seems to make quite a bit of sense. Looking for evidence to define one's self. Breaking it all down it's actually sort of a scary prospect. Nothing laid down in stone, being based on reflections we find.

I had this thought somewhere within third paragraph. It's actually one of the more disturbing things I've found (In my perspective.) concerning to INTPs.

(I know this isn't the most relevant thing concerning the article, but I thought I'd throw it out there.)