• OK, it's on.
  • Please note that many, many Email Addresses used for spam, are not accepted at registration. Select a respectable Free email.
  • Done now. Domine miserere nobis.

Join me in achieving self-discipline?

peoplesuck

caretaker of machines
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,567
Location
only halfway there
166.8lbs, and I got a job!
I tried a piece of cake today, tasted like shit. sugar detox success?
my tendons hurt and Im go to sleep naow, kthnx bai
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
Yess!!!

I’ve been enjoying quite a bit of success too! Finally starting to on get caught up in my work! My diet has been going really well - it’s not so much of a diet as it is just being conscientious about the quality of the food I’m eating, and i’m learning more about the way glucose affects my brain health.

I believe in fluid intelligence, you guys! Don’t mock me. I have my reasons. In any case, i also think I’m at risk for developing alzeheimers later on in life. Thing like this have been motivating me to get control over my habits.

More than that, though, you guys - I just feel really empowered and confident. I went through a sort of crappy stage in my life, I think, but I think I was just effective enough at being a strong, resilient person, that I was able to convince myself that things that were actually problems weren’t problems.

I think I needed that. I don’t think anything but time would have really set my physiology straight, and it seems to me like I was almost protecting myself from the truth. Not that I was doing terribly - I think I was doing “alright”, all things considered....But what transpired was an eventual complacency for the status quo. The idea that it was fine just to be “alright”.

Also, during that phase of my life, I had that last relationship, and I think that getting out of that situation made me feel so happy by comparison, that I often felt like I was high or on top of the world...just really free, you know? Not only free, but I had finally come to terms with who I was as a person, and I had the courage to reach for a life I really wanted - a life of being free, and following my dreams, and for once, really being able to delve into the depths of my mind and learn, and grow, without feeling belittled and chastised for my efforts.

You guys at INTPf...you were a revelation for me. I’ve never met men who are so respectful of my opinion, however sad that sounds. Not only do you listen and talk to me like I’m just another person, which is weird in and of itself - but I’ve actually gotten feedback from people about how my views have been helpful or how they’ve raised peoples’ spirits. None of you will ever understand how validating that has been for me. I believe wholeheartedly in the thought process that led me to believe the things I believe - and that includes empathy...but valuing empathy has been like declaring yourself a nation of one against a world of many. People aren’t interested in an argument with positive feeling. Everyone deeply wants to have their depressive beliefs validated these days...

Anyways. I feel like this forum gave me a voice. I actually have been seriously considering starting a blog now. Before I came here, I never could have pulled off that kind of confidence. Even though I felt like my beliefs were valuable, I never had any evidence to prove it.

Peoples - you helped me grow so much. So fond of you all.

At any rate, now, I think I’m finally starting to think like I’m probably a more valuable person that I’ve been treating myself as.

A lot of these behaviors - like eating trashy food out of laziness or business...they’re masking a deeper truth.

Fundamentally, I believed that I was a person who eats trashy food. Fundamentally, I believed that because I lack organization and time management, I deserve to eat trash - because I’m a lesser person.

Not exercising regularly. I was complacent about that because I saw myself as lazy. Also, though, I just saw myself as someone who always holds onto weight, and would probably fail at losing it - so in a way, why bother going above and beyond, you know?

Even the projects I wanted to do. There was a massively loud internal, subconscious voice, convincing me that people like me don’t succeed. It’s tough trying to do a project this scale on you’re own. I did well for a while, but when I shared my dreams with people, they would always jump intonations pessimism mode. The problem is, I was looking for someone to validate me, because the validation wasn’t coming from within. Luckily, I’m stubborn af so even though I haven’t stuck to the plan and reached my milestones, I’ve still refused to properly ditch my dreams.

That’s the only thing, I think, that helped me keep my sense of self. I’ve always been criticised for being too stubborn, but it’s intrinsic. If the alternative doesn’t make sense to me, I feel like abiding by it is illogical, and I just can’t make myself do it. Even when I try to follow the status quo and dress in sheep’s clothing - I’m never going to be a sheep.

When I chose not to marry, I chose to accept myself for who I really am, and in a way - day, screw the world. I tried to play by the rules but, born a zebra among horses, and you will die a zebra among horses. Although, I suppose in my case, I have my own little private Africa in my desktop - so at least I’m aware that zebras exist now.

I think that was my internal crisis. I knew I was a zebra - could see I was a zebra - but I couldn’t see how it could be true that I wasnt the only zebra in the world. Thus the “alien” terminology. Discovering the INTP personality was like a revelation to me. Made me finally realize that, just maybe, some of the horses that I thought I was seeing weren’t actually what they seemed. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect to see horses...etc.

You guys are probably all getting tired of my ridiculous emotional explosions on this forum! XD I’m sorry! I know I seem so over the top.

Everything in my life is panning out though. I got my freedom. I started following my dreams...but then, I also started getting something I never knew I needed.

I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m...like, a pretty cool person. I really do love who I am. You know what - even my thighs. I’ve been thinking about that. These thighs have done their bit. Trying to be clunky in a world of tiny women was tough on them - but in the end, these are solid af. I’m probably never going to break a bone. I’m strong. I can lift heavy stuff and I have great endurance. These thighs do a good deal of work. Yeah. I’m okay with them now.

In fact - I appreciate them, and they could stand to get more exercise! Let’s turn these thighs into human thigh machines! Yay!

Well. In any case. This Atomic Habits book has really been special for me. Before this book, I felt like the changes I wanted to make in my life were unreachable. Now I feel like I’ve, by in large, already accomplished them...because it isn’t about the end goals anymore. It’s all about how I feel about myself - now.

I feel so empowered, people! I can see that I’m losing weight. (I still refuse to own a scale).

Honestly, for once, I can’t see what’s stopping me. Even if I fuck up tomorrow, why should that mean anything at all? I shouldn’t have to be afraid of what might happen tomorrow, and allow that to influence who I choose to be today. As long as I really understand that we are not one person, but a sequence of an infinite number of instances of a thing which has no literal identity, then I know I will understand that’s self-imposed limitations are illogical. I do believe that we, in a way, do not exist, because of this philosophy I feel to be fact - but it’s like what’s I read in my Buddhism book....You have not learned what you do not practice.

I hope other people on INTPf might find something I post or something I say regarding my own self-work to be useful or inspirational. I feel really grateful. I hope I can pay it back in some way.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
Peoples! So glad to have you here to do this with me! I especially like that you’re a human about it. You’re okay with admitting when your day goes badly. I think i need to learn to demonstrate that kind of badassness. Sometimes I have failures, but rather than admit to them, I have a tendency to get quiet and tell people I’m just really busy XD

The truth is - probably about 50% of the time I’m legit really busy. The other 50% of the time I’m panicking about what a fuck up I am and berating myself for having such an abysmal attention span and utterly failing at task switching.
Things like that...


Which brings this to mind.


Does anyone have suggestions for task switching? I’m REALLY bad at this. The absolute worst! Part of my issue is getting too curious or too exciteable about something that isn’t what I should be doing. It’s like i muster up the passion and energy to get things done - wildly midirect my resource, missing the target by a distance of maybe a few cities - and then utterly exhaust myself doing things that A. don’t make me money, B. dont fulfill my goals and dreams, and C. End up complicating things way more than they were worth.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s mania. I never thought that until I came here. I don’t want to be diagnosed though....I’ve already had a rough enough time trying to re-establish my feelings of empowerment. I don’t need someone telling me that, scientifically, I’m three quarters screwed.

It’s really just for certain things though. Mostly intellectual stuff. I feel like I’m discovering myself intellectually, as a free person, for the first time, and i’m utterly addicted to the sensation.

Like...I research/read things....and for the first time, I both have the time to do it properly, and I have the independence to actually feel like I’m free to form my own thoughts without having to battle someone to keep them.

Not only that - but even more...some people actually listen to me like what I say might be valuable.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m used to saying a lot of things regardless of how people receive them. Lol....but - like, people are actually participating now. I’m not just stubbornly voicing my opinion and then hunkering in for WW3.

Even on YouTube. I made some YouTube comments. This is a habit I’ve developed in the last year. They’re long-winded, carefully researched, and I never expected anyone to care - but I’m okay with that. I do it for myself. Or, i did.

But believe it or not - holy cow. Would you believe some people actually read and thoughtfully responded to my comments? I know. I was floored too. You know how long-winded I am. People on YouTube even validated me — YOUTUBE! Like - wtf?

There’s a small pet f me that wants to congratulate myself, because for years I’ve tried so hard to become a better communicator. I think I’ve not only achieved that to some degree, but in doing so, I’ve also become a more reasonable, unbiased, emotionally even-keel person, as well as a better, more respectful listener, and frankly, a person who can now derive value from conversations to a much greater degree.

But I think it only has a small part to do with it. If I’m being totally honest, this posting thing is fairly new to me. I just assumed, I think, that nobody cared to eat what I have to say, and that’s I would be picked on for it.

I was wrong you guys. People are much more receptive and reasonable than I ever realized.

This has been so healthy for my view of men, in particular. I never wanted to develop any sexist tendencies - but they were hard to fight there, for a while. Now that i feel heard and respected, I just feel like a healthier person. I no longer feel like I have to curb my personality or reword the things I say, so I’m less likely to be criticised by males. On the off chance that someone does say something that’s rude or sexist - I see it as “That person ha issues”, rather than something that’s personal.

I know I’m coming across to you all as a severely damaged person. lol. If you could NOT think that though, that would be awesome - because I don’t see myself as damaged. I just see myself as a person who needed a paint job. Damaged would be like...broken. Paint jobs are for scuffed stuff. I did not make it through life unscuffed you guys!

But in all seriousness - I need to better control these new addictive impulses to run off on research binges. There’s times I more or less do just about as much work in three hours as you would for a college level essay. Research and writing has been a large part of what I do for a living, so I can do it comparatively quickly - but now that I’ve developed this dopamine feedback loop, I keep seeking that high at inappropriate times.

Also - just little stuff. In between tasks I have a nasty habit of “checking my texts” which is Inez-slang for “fucking off on the internet for the next 40 minutes”

After I get through a sequence of cleaning tasks...I always sit. To think about what to do next. Then, before I know it - I’m thinking about the way the advent of the internet has transformed language, and what the future holds.

The thoughts in my head are always moving. I’ve figured out that it’s what makes me want to drink - I’ve known that for a while. If I get to feeling exhausted, overloaded, or pessimistic about life, the thoughts are no longer my friends but they still won’t shut up and i start craving a feeling of a stupor. A brain Without thoughts. Or at least, maybe just one or two of them at a time.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can get better at going from one task to the next, seamlessly?
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
Productivity update -

Now when I enter a room, I pick up three things. If there’s honestly nothing i can find, I tell myself “This is a free pass. Good job!”

But it’s the habit of it that matters.

This worked really well....EXCEPT!
I didn’t foresee the loop! If you pick up three things that belong in another room, then you have to enter another room and pick up three more things...which probably also belong in another room. LOL!

Sorry. You might not find that funny but to me it’s hilarious. I was so stubborn about breaking my new rule I ended up cleaning for a half hour just because I walked into my bedroom XD
I love being nuts.

In order news - The propaganda they’ve told you about making your bed - I’ve confined this to be real news. Made beds insert drugs into the brain somehow. They have inexplicable power.

Makeup you guys. Not much of it. It does help. Can you believe it? Its the fact that’s I feel just a little bit more like a person who looks like they should technically be successful. Who would have thought I was prone to such psychological nonsense. Guilty as charged. Ugh. Pitiful.
I now recommend that all guy guys start wearing makeup :3
(Actually, I would be so intensely fascinated if one of you males was brave enough to try this experiment to see if it affects you the way it affects me! Peoples. Looking at you.)

Water - Having multiple water bottles makes a difference.

Bed - My phone, like my dog, is no longer allowed in my bed. I set my alarm and then, like a barbarian, throw the damn thing across the room. Okay, not quite. I gently, remotely guide the phone to a soft and/or carpeted destination. But the updraft is that I have to get out of bed to shut off my alarm.

Work - It’s been coming naturally as the rest of my life has gotten in order. This invalidates my inner rationalizer, who tried to persuade me that I couldn’t exercise or eat right because I had “too much work”. Incorrect. If anything, I had too little structure.
 

Animekitty

baby marshmallow born today
Local time
Today, 15:09
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
6,705
Location
Dandelion field
I am clear-minded at the moment. I have some view over things from it. I will be using a stream of consciousness to explain things.

I have an idea about smart machines. If I can find the right chunking mechanism it will work. That is my goal.

(chunking is how a network wires itself)

Thinking too much drains me. I need to only think a small amount so I will not stress myself. Thinking quality will improve things.

I need to be aware more from my subconscious to think effortlessly. again lower stress.

Any stress to me is similar to abuse.

---
I have two ring pendants I found.
The previous day before, on a bus it said: "look for me".
The next day I had them.

I am going the where them more often to remind myself.
I also take a pillow and use t as a teddy bear at night.

I used to practice talking to God but it really matters how my mood is.
It is easy to forget who is watching, I need to work on that more.

The person in my mind I talk to most is blake.
When I feel down she helps me realize why I still exist.

I need to make her more real to me. (my second goal)
That means becoming calmer in order to process more.

Thank you for this thread Inex
 

peoplesuck

caretaker of machines
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,567
Location
only halfway there
I’ve been enjoying quite a bit of success too! Finally starting to on get caught up in my work! My diet has been going really well - it’s not so much of a diet as it is just being conscientious about the quality of the food I’m eating, and i’m learning more about the way glucose affects my brain health.
Yay!
I wouldnt use aluminum products if you like ur brain.
take before pics, for comparison in a month or so!
I already did <.< will share once ive gotten to goal weight
Peoples - you helped me grow so much. So fond of you all.
:D <3 good
Peoples! So glad to have you here to do this with me! I especially like that you’re a human about it. You’re okay with admitting when your day goes badly. I think i need to learn to demonstrate that kind of badassness. Sometimes I have failures, but rather than admit to them, I have a tendency to get quiet and tell people I’m just really busy XD
TBH im pretty much just failing my way through life :/
what people think of you, doesnt change anything. So why try to impress them?
Ive failed a good bit so far, but I made up for it by not eating...so....progress?

As far as task switching.... Im not a fan, I would much rather go 10hours straight without a break, to keep from losing my momentum.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I am clear-minded at the moment. I have some view over things from it. I will be using a stream of consciousness to explain things.

I have an idea about smart machines. If I can find the right chunking mechanism it will work. That is my goal.

(chunking is how a network wires itself)

Thinking too much drains me. I need to only think a small amount so I will not stress myself. Thinking quality will improve things.

I need to be aware more from my subconscious to think effortlessly. again lower stress.

Any stress to me is similar to abuse.

---
I have two ring pendants I found.
The previous day before, on a bus it said: "look for me".
The next day I had them.

I am going the where them more often to remind myself.
I also take a pillow and use t as a teddy bear at night.

I used to practice talking to God but it really matters how my mood is.
It is easy to forget who is watching, I need to work on that more.

The person in my mind I talk to most is blake.
When I feel down she helps me realize why I still exist.

I need to make her more real to me. (my second goal)
That means becoming calmer in order to process more.

Thank you for this thread Inex
Aww! You're welcome. I'm glad it's useful for you.

I know what you mean about stress and abuse. We do abuse ourselves with stress - but I think the thoughts about it are far more abusive than the circumstances.

Many people have difficulty with losing sight of reality. Most people get too trapped up in the way they define themselves and the world around them, and becoming steadily more convinced that the subjective perspective they're seeing is a reflection of the way things really are.

I think when we stop to see the bigger picture - really, really see the bigger picture, things become less stressful. I've found that the bigger picture is almost always FAR better than we make it out to be in our minds.

For instance. Maybe I'm failing this class in college. It might feel like the world to me. My definition of how intelligent I am may all seem to hinge on this class. My worldview feels shaken - I thought I could do it. I was wrong. I've always been this way - deluded. Everything I ever really tried to accomplish in my life, I failed at....

This is the way a person thinks when they subscribe to the fantasy they've made for themselves. Reality is far kinder to you than you are to yourself, I think.

The reality is - I'm failing this class. It doesn't mean I've failed life. It doesn't even mean I've failed at this degree. It doesn't even necessarily mean I'm failing myself. Whether or not I'm failing myself depends on my definition of failure. And since I'm not directly failing my goal - why on earth should I be failing myself? Have I given up yet? No. What happens if I fail this class is that I will have to take it again. It might take me a little more time. Maybe I'll have to be in college for just a little bit longer than I had anticipated - but if I already have to stay for an extra quarter, guess what? That's room for three more classes I can try at, and fail at, without having to bully myself for it.

The reality is way better than my mind would imagine it to be, if I were failing a class in college. I envision the whole world as falling apart and all the dreams I was reaching for as crumbling before my eyes, and I take it to be some kind of evidence that I, myself, am an intrinsic failure. All because of one class.

This is one of the many, many ways we get stupider as we get older. Kids don't think like this. Only adults do.

Imagine if you were trying to ride a bike, and the first time you fell, you realized that you will never, ever ride a bike. That you FAILED at riding a bike. That you should be ashamed of yourself for not having better balance - that the fact that other kids can ride a bike, and you can't, means that you're sick, broken, fucked up in some way. That you'll never succeed at anything - why even bother? You're never going to be a bicyclist now, because you had one, simple job - past the test. And you failed it. And if you tried it again, you would just fail, again. Because that is who you are. You're a loser who falls when they're trying to ride a bike.

Any adult who knows how to ride a bike because they learned it when they were a kid...would pretty much find this frame of thinking to be laughable. Like - are you serious? You fall ONE time, just ONE time - and you think the world is ending? Get a grip on yourself! Get up and try again (obviously). And you'll fall again, but the point is...you just keep trying. That's how a person learns to ride a bike.

It's not failure. It's feedback.

Anyways, this is a tangent of mine, sorry! I'm not necessarily saying this applies to you - but I remembered you mentioned something about failure, and I know from my own experience that feelings of failure and feelings of stress go hand in hand for me, personally.

When I was in college, I had to redefine my definition of failure. To me, getting a piece of homework that was less than an A was failure. I started to wake up with panic attacks at 2 in the morning, thinking I was late for class. That's when I got a psychiatrist and he prescribed adderall....and while I hate to say it, that did make a massive difference in my life....but aside from the drugs, I needed to correct my definition of failure. It was killing me - in my opinion. That kind of chronic stress? Like you rightly said, it's abusive.

The first thing I did to redefine failure, in the present, was to belittle it. Stop making mountains out of mole hills. Always try to appreciate the bigger picture, because it's never as bad as you're making it out to be. That sort of a thing.

The second thing I did to redefine failure was to look at failure, in the past. I failed many times during the course of learning how to ride a bike - but was it really failure, if I was learning? No. And I failed at many things when in my life when I was trying to attain a goal...but the reason for that, is because I haven't finished learning yet. If I'm not going to call falling on a bike failure, then I also can't call falling on my diet failure. None of these things are failures. They're just a learning process. That's all. Sometimes you fall on your bike, and it hurts, and it's embarrassing, and you skin your knees and cry...and falling just really sucks. But only adults feel the pain as failure. Kids don't think that way. A day from now, they'll have forgotten all about how much it sucked to fall, and they'll care much more about the experience of learning to ride a bike with an adult that loves them, and validates them, and the dream of one day being able to impress their friends and their little siblings with their epic biking skills.

Sometimes I think that kids have a lot more to teach adults than adults have to teach kids.

Anyways! Sorry to ramble! If you find yourself causing more stress to yourself because of your negative thinking habits, you should share them with us here on INTPf. We might be able to help you decrease the stress in your life, by giving you other voices in your head aside from that crazy woman. She sounds like she doesn't always have your back like she should.

How many times did I fall down when I was learning to ride a bike.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I’ve been enjoying quite a bit of success too! Finally starting to on get caught up in my work! My diet has been going really well - it’s not so much of a diet as it is just being conscientious about the quality of the food I’m eating, and i’m learning more about the way glucose affects my brain health.
Yay!
I wouldnt use aluminum products if you like ur brain.
take before pics, for comparison in a month or so!
I already did <.< will share once ive gotten to goal weight
Peoples - you helped me grow so much. So fond of you all.
:D <3 good
Peoples! So glad to have you here to do this with me! I especially like that you’re a human about it. You’re okay with admitting when your day goes badly. I think i need to learn to demonstrate that kind of badassness. Sometimes I have failures, but rather than admit to them, I have a tendency to get quiet and tell people I’m just really busy XD
TBH im pretty much just failing my way through life :/
what people think of you, doesnt change anything. So why try to impress them?
Ive failed a good bit so far, but I made up for it by not eating...so....progress?

As far as task switching.... Im not a fan, I would much rather go 10hours straight without a break, to keep from losing my momentum.
Lol. I just wrote a loonngg monologue above about failure.

I used to say what people thought of me didn't matter - and I do believe that, but I believe it differently now, if that makes any sense. I've realized that what people think does matter, and that all through my life, that advice to "not care what people think of you", was just straight up bs. Of course it matters to us. We shouldn't feel ashamed of caring about it either. BUT - here's the difference. People are not always right, and that's the key. To me, it's become far more important to determine when people are right, verses when they are not. If they make a critique of me that seems accurate and fair, and like it would be useful to me, then there's no shame in taking what they say to heart, and making some changes in my life.

It's when they critique me and what they said is unfair, untrue, invalid, or inapplicable. That is when what people think of me becomes corrosive. And I found a solution.

I stay. the fuck. away. from those people. Lol!

In fact, I stay away from most people in general, because I find most people to be negative. It isn't that I can't cope with human negativity, but I choose not to. If you're not going to add value to my life, you just straight up don't belong in it - and that's that.

So that's the change I've made in that regard. I keep my circle of people very small. Only the people that really love me and value me, now, are allowed to be in it. The others - people who would use me, or have proven time and time again that they are not interested in my welfare - those people get the classic Inex Burning of the Bridge ceremony. You get about three chances at this point. If you prove to me three times over that you don't have my best interests at heart, then you no longer get the privilege of my friendship.

It sounds pretty cold, and it starkly contrasts to the door mat I used to be. But viewing the world this way has empowered me and seriously change the way I view life, and people. Now that I have just a small circle of trusted people that I genuinely love, and who genuinely love me, I find myself loving and trusting humanity as a whole again. Also, I feel much happier, and much better about myself. I'm way less stressed out...and more than that, I'm no longer a victim, ever.

I think that's the biggest thing - graduating from victimhood.

I used to feel like it was almost a moral obligation to forgive people - because I do really value forgiveness. I try to be laid-back, and accepting of others, and compassionate of their mistakes. I try not to judge, or upset, or cause others to have a negative life experience. However....deciding that, if you're not willing to return the favor, you don't deserve the high quality company I provide - that liberated me.

I finally learned to put my foot down, and say enough is enough. And I finally accepted that not everyone tries to be a good person. Just because I do - it doesn't mean other people also do their best to live in accordance to values and morals. A lot of people just live to win. First bridge I burned was my brother. Next was my boyfriend. Lol. Two veerrryyy long bridges, and two epic bonfires.

Interestingly enough, things have changed a bit with my brother. After I demonstrated the willingness to throw that relationship off a cliff and never look back, I actually started to get some level of respect, I think. I guess some people just need to realize that there will be consequences before they can learn how to behave properly.

It sucks when you've got to do that with your own family though.

At any rate. End of the day. I've realized that I absolutely care what people think - but I care differently now. At this point, I only care what people think if we have a deep relationship with one another, and I've also set boundaries. Not very harsh ones, but I've learned to get a little bit snippy with people if they overstep for ten or 15 minutes so that they get a better idea on how I expect to be treated.

It's changed the way I handle my clients too. I'm willing to burn bridges now, and the people I work with know that I have standards as to the kind of treatment I expect/will accept. That's enabled me to work well with a lot of people who would have otherwise caused me a lot of stress and pain.

I guess this is all an adventure in me learning to stick up for myself, but in a fair way. Like I said - I give chances. You can screw up - and it will be water under the bridge, never to be used against you in the court of Inex - but I let people know that they've dun fucked it up, in the moment, and then we forget about it. If you're going to repeatedly demonstrate poor character though, then you should have seen the fire coming from a mile away.

I think there's a lot of weak women out there because we raise our little girls to be sappy, subservient, and meek. We've raised our little boys to be emotionally repressed and angry, too. We've essentially raised a whole damn generation of victims. Screw that noise. Lets all learn to have a bit of backbone and stand up for ourselves!

But not unreasonably so. When someone who loves you gives you good advice, or you feel concerned that they would disapprove of you - it's worth thinking that over, and seeing whether or not you need to make an adjustment in your flight path so you can stay on course. But only the people who really love you, and have proved their loyalty, and not given you ample reasons to doubt the commitment to your health and welfare, should have the right to affect the way you view yourself.

If I ever adopt kids, which I would like to, this is how I will teach them to handle humans. Be very picky about who you allow within your intimate circle, and be willing to kick out the people who don't belong there. Don't overexpose yourself to those who would contaminate your mindset with negativity. Choose humans who are healthy and productive for you. But when you DO find a person who deserves your intimacy, then it should be ride or die. Pay that loyalty back ten-fold, always prioritize them at the top of your list when they're in need, and listen to the help they have to offer you, because they know things about you that you will never understand, and this is how we reach great heights as human creatures.
 

peoplesuck

caretaker of machines
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,567
Location
only halfway there
I meant it in a different way... You are how you are, and opinions change nothing about what you are...is all I meant.

I weighed the other day, 166.4lbs
shoe lasts for diy boots in progress:
JPEG_20200219_091138.jpg

Sewing machine: im sorry PS I cant sew leather
PS: do not be sorry, BE BETTER
20200219_133818.jpg20200219_133829.jpg
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I meant it in a different way... You are how you are, and opinions change nothing about what you are...is all I meant.

I weighed the other day, 166.4lbs
shoe lasts for diy boots in progress:
Sewing machine: im sorry PS I cant sew leather
PS: do not be sorry, BE BETTER
What’s your goal weight?

Are they supposed to look like dog treats?

The fact that you can see is frankly impressive to me. I’m scared of sewing machines. I have an illogical fear they will see my fingers.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I am also scared of grills, dentists, doctors, car batteries, psychotic rich people, and vacuum canisters.

However, I am not scared of murderers, robbers, stalkers, dogs, ghosts, demons, hell, airplanes, snakes, crazy people, rats/mice, travelling alone, being alone in foreign countries, or anything else that could pose a legitimate threat. I’m also generally not that afraid of the dark, or graveyards, or dead bodies. Not that I’ve seen tons of them.

So...I’m not the best person to base fears off of XD...

Oh! I do have one normal fear. Spiders. But I’m only afraid of them when they surprise me and it’s a learned behavior.

However my fear of spiders is primarily related to the worry that they will come after me with vengeance in their hearts...so I guess that’s not exactly logical! XD
 

Minuend

pat pat
Local time
Today, 23:09
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
4,085
How is your progress on keeping away from the coffee?
Going better than expected... After having horrible headaches the first couple of days.

It does suck, because drinking coffee in the mornings is very comfy and something that always helped me get out of bed, something to look forward to. Not sure what to look forward to now.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
How is your progress on keeping away from the coffee?
Going better than expected... After having horrible headaches the first couple of days.

It does suck, because drinking coffee in the mornings is very comfy and something that always helped me get out of bed, something to look forward to. Not sure what to look forward to now.
Awww! That sucks. I'm sorry :/
If it helps at all, I usually take adderall and if I don't, I drink energy drinks.

But when I did my 4/4 sleep schedule, I found that having a grapefruit in the morning works better than me for coffee. If you did decaf with a grapefruit, maybe you would still get the comfort drink but benefit from the unspeakable power of grapefruit fuel?

I don't know what it is about grapefruits. Probably, it doesn't work for everyone. For me though...I mean the difference is just noticeable. Grapefruit works better for me than coffee, faster for me than energy drinks, and it makes me feel more mentally alert than both.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
you guys - I worked out. And now I feel TERRIBLE @_@....
I feel tired, and gross. My head hurts. I think next time I need to drink more water. ugh. I'm not sure how working out can make you feel "high". I feel dead.

On the bright side, though, my cat did well. He's quite fat - which is uncomfortable for me as I never have fat animals. I'm compassionate about weight struggles and I don't want to be responsible for the extra weight of a thing that's dependent on me. But this cat is determined to be fat and has been since day 1. He's completely food obsessed. Mom and I agreed that since he's still growing, we would let him eat an amount of food that results in more ideal behavior. Now he is turning into a small tiger.

So today he accompanied me to the gym and participated in some kitty core workouts. He had good spirits about it. He's learning to sit on his haunches. After all the hard work he stretched with me on the yoga mat, but that's just really cheating for him. His moves might look impressive but they require no effort on his part.

Okay, well, I'm going to go take a shower because I can feel myself starting to turn blue -_- ..... It's my ex-men power. After I work out I start to go into a cryogenic state.
 

peoplesuck

caretaker of machines
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,567
Location
only halfway there
you guys - I worked out. And now I feel TERRIBLE @_@....
I feel tired, and gross. My head hurts. I think next time I need to drink more water. ugh. I'm not sure how working out can make you feel "high". I feel dead.

On the bright side, though, my cat did well. He's quite fat - which is uncomfortable for me as I never have fat animals. I'm compassionate about weight struggles and I don't want to be responsible for the extra weight of a thing that's dependent on me. But this cat is determined to be fat and has been since day 1. He's completely food obsessed. Mom and I agreed that since he's still growing, we would let him eat an amount of food that results in more ideal behavior. Now he is turning into a small tiger.

So today he accompanied me to the gym and participated in some kitty core workouts. He had good spirits about it. He's learning to sit on his haunches. After all the hard work he stretched with me on the yoga mat, but that's just really cheating for him. His moves might look impressive but they require no effort on his part.

Okay, well, I'm going to go take a shower because I can feel myself starting to turn blue -_- ..... It's my ex-men power. After I work out I start to go into a cryogenic state.
oof
Sounds like you did a bit too much, or you didnt eat/drink enough before...or you have a hidden heart problem and you're going to die young w/ me :O
highfive for effort!
I wasted my day and have been up all night
<.<
 

peoplesuck

caretaker of machines
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Apr 12, 2014
Messages
1,567
Location
only halfway there
I meant it in a different way... You are how you are, and opinions change nothing about what you are...is all I meant.

I weighed the other day, 166.4lbs
shoe lasts for diy boots in progress:
Sewing machine: im sorry PS I cant sew leather
PS: do not be sorry, BE BETTER
What’s your goal weight?

Are they supposed to look like dog treats?

The fact that you can see is frankly impressive to me. I’m scared of sewing machines. I have an illogical fear they will see my fingers.
goal weight is simply being thin enough to feel nimble again.
they arent supposed to look like dog treats... :/
im a bit worried I will put a needle through my finger at some pt, but thats life
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
I'm starting to see a path to intense discipline, but I guess it comes as no surprise to the disciplined but, it is deeply entrenched with obsession. I can do obsession, I just don't know if it will be worth it in the end. I'm just making excuses, but blah it's tough to get started.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I meant it in a different way... You are how you are, and opinions change nothing about what you are...is all I meant.

I weighed the other day, 166.4lbs
shoe lasts for diy boots in progress:
Sewing machine: im sorry PS I cant sew leather
PS: do not be sorry, BE BETTER
What’s your goal weight?

Are they supposed to look like dog treats?

The fact that you can see is frankly impressive to me. I’m scared of sewing machines. I have an illogical fear they will see my fingers.
goal weight is simply being thin enough to feel nimble again.
they arent supposed to look like dog treats... :/
im a bit worried I will put a needle through my finger at some pt, but thats life
They only look like dog treats because they have that untanned color like rawhide.

I don’t blame you for being nervous about sticking a needle through your finger. That stuff is leather. It’s like...really needle impenetrable is it not?

Yeah I probably need to eat a bit a half hour or so before working out.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
I'm starting to see a path to intense discipline, but I guess it comes as no surprise to the disciplined but, it is deeply entrenched with obsession. I can do obsession, I just don't know if it will be worth it in the end. I'm just making excuses, but blah it's tough to get started.
I definitely think it’s related to obsession, but the trick is that if you want to make it sustainable you have to make it something you like. Something that’s easy, fun. Something that requires little actual discipline.

I spent two and a half hours in the gym today because I made a deal with myself that if I want to watch any kind of YouTube that isn’t strictly work or research related, I have to at least go sit in the gym to do it. It’s nonsense to sit in the gym and not do anything though, and I got dressed and had the water bottles and everything else, so I ended up working out by default.

Visualisation helps. I’ve been learning to practice it. Before I get out of bed in the morning, I really focus on visualising making my bed. Then it’s easy to do. When my room is messy, I try to visualise all of the things in it and I tell myself in my head what I’ll do with each of them. Then picking up my room becomes significantly easier.

There’s a computer game I like to play. Stardew Valley. I have mods installed that let me cheat. Instead of grinding in the real game which Ian boring anyways, I accomplish real life things and then cheat and give myself that in game stuff.

These are all ways I’ve found to make the things I need to do fun and easy for myself. My philosophy is that if you fail to do them, you haven’t cracked the code yet. It’s not your fault. The system is screwed up and needs to be reconfigured.

In part, I developed that philosophy on my own, but a good deal of it comes from Atomic Habits, which was recommended to me on this thread and is an amazing book!

All in all. I agree. Discipline has to become an obsession. Almost every day i’m learning about it, testing new theories, thinking about how to do better. The best thing about the way my attitude is changed is that, now, when I have a fuck up day, I don’t berate myself or tell myself it’s all over. I give myself absolutely no negative consequences for discipline, but just keep adding incentives and trying to make it easier by dedicating brain power to the problem.

So if you’re finding it difficult to get started, I recommend you start just by learning about how visualisation can improve your memory and intelligence. Then maybe consider listening to a bit of the Atomic Habits book for free on YouTube

If you’re like me, the more you think about discipline and learn about discipline, the more your mind will become interested in the material.
 

Elen

Cold and damp
Local time
Today, 14:09
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
131
My goal to drink chamomile tea before bed and keep my phone out of my bedroom at night as a way of encouraging better sleep is going well.

I'm still an insomniac but I'm getting back to sleep within an hour and half instead of 4 hours. So, improvement.

I also seem to be thinning down despite not making much effort towards that end. I'm not very overweight. Maybe 10lbs from my ideal BMI. *Shrug* But my clothes are looser. I suppose I should take advantage of this turn of events by putting together a more solid exercise routine. So I am going to add getting in 3 yoga routines and 1 upper body and 1 lower body strength training routine in a week. It is a little ambitious given my schedule but maybe? We will see.

I don't know how much this ties into developing discipline but I'll give it a whirl.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
My goal to drink chamomile tea before bed and keep my phone out of my bedroom at night as a way of encouraging better sleep is going well.

I'm still an insomniac but I'm getting back to sleep within an hour and half instead of 4 hours. So, improvement.

I also seem to be thinning down despite not making much effort towards that end. I'm not very overweight. Maybe 10lbs from my ideal BMI. *Shrug* But my clothes are looser. I suppose I should take advantage of this turn of events by putting together a more solid exercise routine. So I am going to add getting in 3 yoga routines and 1 upper body and 1 lower body strength training routine in a week. It is a little ambitious given my schedule but maybe? We will see.

I don't know how much this ties into developing discipline but I'll give it a whirl.
I think that sounds like a great idea! Let us know how you make out!
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
So I worked out again this morning. This has become part of a bigger experiment that I wrote about in my diary thread.

Today, though, I switched it up. I ate a bowl of soup about a half hour before working out, and I did two hours today instead of an hour and a half. I'll get the rest of the half hour later. Maybe a bit more. It's all part of the experiment.

Pleased to report that the soup seemed to work! I think I'm not going to turn into a popsicle today. I'm hoping that my new experiment will also help me to not feel like I'm dying of the flu. Lol.

The discipline is going great, but mostly because I keep "switching it up" every time I fail at doing what I intended to do. That's actually kind of working out for me, because a sort of natural pattern is emerging now. In the past, I always tried to "stick to it" with some kind of plan, and then I got depressed when I failed at it. This time, I just view it as - "that plan sucked, onto the next plan!". I feel like I've tried a ton of things - most of which have failed, but there's a pattern slowly manifesting of the stuff that sticks. Early morning workouts seem to stick. Now that I've given myself more time to just get through the workout at my own pace, switch things up as I feel like it, and take breaks if I think I need them, working out is actually starting to become kind of fun! I'm finally recovering from the "no pain no gain" mentality that has been drilled into me since I was knee-high, and adopting a more "do it until you don't like it, then move onto something else and come back to it later" style of workout.

Weirdly enough, I think I'm getting a much better workout this way. I may only do a set of 10 - or even 5 - at one time, but because I keep going back to that exercise in the context of little "mini circuits" - like a properly ADD person who can focus on literally nothing of interest - I end up doing a lot more of that workout than I would have if I tried to torture myself with it. I think, or at least hope, that this time I won't sustain any kind of injuries by doing things this way. Last time I tried something like this, I injured my ankle.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
Going to go eat a grapefruit. If anyone here has not tried the drug/fruit they call "grapefruit" - I once again, for the xth time, recommend this food source. It has strange, profound effects on me. There is power and magic in grapefruit. It defies science and nutrition.
 

Minuend

pat pat
Local time
Today, 23:09
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
4,085
Awww! That sucks. I'm sorry :/
If it helps at all, I usually take adderall and if I don't, I drink energy drinks.

But when I did my 4/4 sleep schedule, I found that having a grapefruit in the morning works better than me for coffee. If you did decaf with a grapefruit, maybe you would still get the comfort drink but benefit from the unspeakable power of grapefruit fuel?

I don't know what it is about grapefruits. Probably, it doesn't work for everyone. For me though...I mean the difference is just noticeable. Grapefruit works better for me than coffee, faster for me than energy drinks, and it makes me feel more mentally alert than both.
Actually, that's a good idea, if I can tolerate it (there's like a bunchwad of foods/ drinks I don't, but grapefruit is supposed to be anti inflammatory if I remember correctly). I wonder if they sell it around here, though. I'll give it a try if they do :good:

I'm also on a more or less liquid diet to help get my stomach better (delayed emptying), one week of protein shakes and soups. Starting to notice slight improvement but probably have to keep at it for another 2 weeks or so. It's pretty difficult. There's also chocolate in the house and I usually badly want to eat some every day
:rip:

My mood is gradually improving, though. My depression is tightly interwoven with how bad I'm doing physically. So it will be worth it :snowman:

I did have coffee today, though. It was meh, I think I need to clean the coffe maker >_>
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
I think a lot of us have poor executive function and that's why we seek self-discipline. Try and understand how you can increase executive function. Stimulants are an option along with other catecholamines. Just a thought: instead of adapting to the disposition through conscious effort, adjust to it via unconscious phenomena. Dopamine, adrenaline, improve executive function, find something meaningful.
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
I think a lot of us have poor executive function and that's why we seek self-discipline. Try and understand how you can increase executive function. Stimulants are an option along with other catecholamines. Just a thought: instead of adapting to the disposition through conscious effort, adjust to it via unconscious phenomena. Dopamine, adrenaline, improve executive function, find something meaningful.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, which I believe INTPs are prone to have, so this may be true, though ADHD comes in two forms: anatomical difference, and a with degrees separation, behavioral differences. Many people can grow out of poor executive functions, but it is not liable to happen if we do not put in the effort.

I think Inex's idea on integrating "discipline" in an easy and simple way, is key, it just requires planning, such as removing steps/barriers or gamification. I'm developing a system atm and am now just shamelessly procrastinating. Plz halp, I don't know why I do this to myself lol
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
I think a lot of us have poor executive function and that's why we seek self-discipline. Try and understand how you can increase executive function. Stimulants are an option along with other catecholamines. Just a thought: instead of adapting to the disposition through conscious effort, adjust to it via unconscious phenomena. Dopamine, adrenaline, improve executive function, find something meaningful.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, which I believe INTPs are prone to have, so this may be true, though ADHD comes in two forms: anatomical difference, and a with degrees separation, behavioral differences. Many people can grow out of poor executive functions, but it is not liable to happen if we do not put in the effort.

I think Inex's idea on integrating "discipline" in an easy and simple way, is key, it just requires planning, such as removing steps/barriers or gamification. I'm developing a system atm and am now just shamelessly procrastinating. Plz halp, I don't know why I do this to myself lol
Executive function pertains to anatomical differences, particularly in pre-frontal cortex and general cortical functions. Since people with ADHD have less synergy between the hemispheres this problem usually balances itself out at a later stage and with many growing out of it at 25 years and above. So if you take stimulants that improve performance in cortical regions you could be rewarded.

Behaviours ensue from anatomical differences, that's for sure. I think people can improve executive function through exposure of responsibilities followed by rigorious decision making but I don't think that pressure exists for a lot of us, especially self-administered vocational hobbies like working out: That's enforced by you and you can easily reason it isn't necessary, compared to a 22 year that found out he has a kid and he's in poverty, so under the immense pressure of responsibility he's driven towards planning, prosperity and not wasting time.

It is a good way but I'm starting to think that our behaviour has very little to do with our performance. I wouldn't say it's eugenics but things that are biologically regulated do not require conscious thought, and clearly that's the best alternative to conscious habituation. Like imagine if we didn't have an impulse to eat food and it was regulated by our own behaviour, we didn't feel enjoyment from eating food. Certainly there'd be people who would starve. Likewise, imagine your body not taking mechanisms to pressure you towards stopping during exercise: Your heart was going 190 but your body didn't produce pain to inhibit you from moving forward. Imagine not having an impulse to swim to the surface on low oxygen.

If you can regulate your biology to a degree that you don't have to think of self-discipline, which I think is easy when you have catecholamines that regulate pleasure repsonses, the orexin system regulating your circadian rhythm, blood-sugar levels regulating your energy levels, so on and so forth. I think far too many people overlook biological reality and suffer due to it. Many people chase habits and self-discipline and many fail, but get someone that has high-amounts of dopamine in their brain with a drive towards work and I assure you there's a much higher probability of success from the latter group. Why? Because it's not an activity that requires effort.
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
@Rebis I make the distinction (bad eglish sorry) between anatomical and behavioral ADHD because it is one that should be made. ADHD runs on my moms side, and it's very apparent when you look at our behavior, like a crack head, we find it hard to engage in things that we are not interested in and crave stimulation, and this affects us socially and performatively. When we are given stimulant medication, we do not get a high out of it, as it is compensating for atypical brain structure and function, bringing balance to our chemistry.

If there were a person that was babied and coddled their entire life and never truly worked a day in their lives (lets say they were not challenged in their schooling,) they may have an atypical brain structure, but it is not lets say "broken at the core." I mean that genetics does not reenforce this brain structure and that with effort, they will likely see much improvement over time, whereas someone who is predisposed to ADHD will work, and even if they try to pace themselves, they will hit a wall, and if they do not take time to recover, they will be immensely stressed.

I like what you say about subversing cognition into the unconscious, and honestly I find myself doing that a lot using this model as encouragement.
1582484998066.png
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
I like what you say about subversing cognition into the unconscious, and honestly I find myself doing that a lot using this model as encouragement.
how do you do it, my conscience is overloaded i need to get on the second gear ?
It depends on what you're trying to do, but I would that it would mostly lie in algorithmic processes. Google "deliberate practice," it is one model that will apply to many things. If you are stuck in a state of analysis, I would recommend getting all these things on pen and paper and coming to your own conclusions based on your own personal experience and if need be research. I would assume that these things are bouncing around in your head because they are deemed important, scratching that itch may help it go away, but it could also get worse, as ignorance is bliss. Come to your own conclusions, however.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
@EndogenousRebel you hit a relatability there. I always stumbled on the idea I had ADHD because I didn't concentrate on tasks as much as I liked, in particular in school I basically didn't pay any attention whatsoever, I'd read entirely different books in class than the subject that was being taught. Even asking if I could go to the library to look up something. Homework didn't exist, slthoughwith certain teachers I'd rush it 5-10 minutes before class. At the start of new terms I'd feel so good about myself becsuse I'd do homework for a week straight, though it took a lot of effort. So like any cognitive bias the model I'm taking which doesn't require conscious management is going good, so much so there's no need for me to emphasize it. It has became part of the unconscious.

I do think a lot of people can benefit from researching biological mechanisms as most of our behaviour is an unconscious process. It's a shame that can't work for you, clearly it's an easier process.

Sent from my VOG-L09 using Tapatalk
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
Unfortunately I belong to a union of both those subsets, genetically and behaviorally. School rarely challenged me and when it did I would skirt responsibility. I did my self no favour basically.

I've been thinking on it, and I think my main problem is the choke points of energy, specifically to the brain. I've had to compensate with getting good sleep when I can, and at this point conscient strategies for order such as planning and meditation. These things will improve with time and I am working on defeating procrastination, once I get there I'm sure I will do well. Been considering neurotrophics, but I'm not ready for the experimentation that would entail that. So for now I just have to follow through with decisions I know are goof for me

Edit: working out would help too
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
It was meh, I think I need to clean the coffe maker >_>
You probably need to put something gross in it every time you use it instead! like...Cayenne powder. Then you'll know that every time you want a cup of coffee, you have to clean your coffee maker.

Let me know if you're able to find grapefruits! I'm addicted.

I think Inex's idea on integrating "discipline" in an easy and simple way, is key, it just requires planning, such as removing steps/barriers or gamification. I'm developing a system atm and am now just shamelessly procrastinating. Plz halp, I don't know why I do this to myself lol
Aww! Thank you. Only part of that is my own philosophy. The rest comes from the book Atomic Habits - which I like, because it agreed with me fundamentally, so it must be right. (Haha! Jk!)

If you still have issues motivating yourself, let me know! I have a little gamification system you could use! It's fun. :3

how do you implement this?
One way that I personally analyze my subconscious is to become more aware of my reactions to stimuli in my environment. Most of us are on auto pilot. You see a plate of cookies, you take one and eat it - even if you didn't actually want a cookie and weren't hungry.

So to understand the subconscious mind more, we can analyze these impulses as they arise. I usually miss the mark. I have to realize I had the impulse after I'm already acting it out. Like, I will realize that my subconscious mind sabotaged me halfway through the cookie. It's because I live my life with a brain that is constantly in hyper drive focusing on totally unrelated things. I've been learning to discipline that with meditation though.

catecholamines that regulate pleasure repsonses, the orexin system regulating your circadian rhythm, blood-sugar levels regulating your energy levels, so on and so forth.
Are you saying that cats influence blood sugar?
 

Ex-User (15237)

Active Member
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Sep 3, 2018
Messages
140
auto pilot
if i dont push old and important things on auto pilot my conscious get drained and i am having too much problem lately pushing things into my subconscious,
from time to time i have to compress many things into abstract ideas so i have a model to navigate with.
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
auto pilot
if i dont push old and important things on auto pilot my conscious get drained and i am having too much problem lately pushing things into my subconscious,
from time to time i have to compress many things into abstract ideas so i have a model to navigate with.
Well I think you had asked about how one would work with their subconscious. That is how I work with my own.

I will say, though, that the technique I use is largely a product of Buddhist meditation. I recognise subconscious triggers with a detached ego. No emotions, no desire to then use the information for some reason, or analyze it further. It is just a thing I notice about myself, and noticing it is all that is needed. I then move on.

I think that if you become wrapped up in your analysis of the subconscious, you drain yourself very quickly. I think I can drain myself in probably about 40 minutes to two hours this way. It’s “overthinking” in a sense.

However, viewing these things with detachment is, I think, something that takes practice, and I wouldn’t have been able to really do that or understand how to without practicing meditation.

I’m not saying that you also must practice meditation. That’s simply how I learned to recognize my triggers without being exhausted by self-analysis.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
I'm starting to look at everything in terms of the value and outcomes it produces. Like in terms of $$$. I'm finding out that the amount of work I'm trying to get myself to do, in totality would be worth near $10,000 per finished product. It's kinda motivating and vindicates my struggle, because it is a task that most would conciser hard. This has also lead me to breaking down and analyzing everything in terms of what it produces in my personal life and I can see a way of living that I would find enjoyable. Too bad now I have to actually get myself to do this shit, and I'm not actually getting paid till someone gives me a chance.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
I'm starting to look at everything in terms of the value and outcomes it produces. Like in terms of $$$. I'm finding out that the amount of work I'm trying to get myself to do, in totality would be worth near $10,000 per finished product. It's kinda motivating and vindicates my struggle, because it is a task that most would conciser hard. This has also lead me to breaking down and analyzing everything in terms of what it produces in my personal life and I can see a way of living that I would find enjoyable. Too bad now I have to actually get myself to do this shit, and I'm not actually getting paid till someone gives me a chance.
So like trying to quantify your power level? I've done something of a similar inclination- If you're interested in a certain subject, you could keep a tally of all the concepts you've learned (let's say maths) and start counting them. And possibly, subtracted those concepts that you can actively recall.

We can compare power levels if you want: This will be the future of fighting, we can call it neo-point combat.
 

EndogenousRebel

We're all trying our best. Aren't we?
Local time
Today, 16:09
Joined
Jun 13, 2019
Messages
315
Location
Narnia
I'm starting to look at everything in terms of the value and outcomes it produces. Like in terms of $$$. I'm finding out that the amount of work I'm trying to get myself to do, in totality would be worth near $10,000 per finished product. It's kinda motivating and vindicates my struggle, because it is a task that most would conciser hard. This has also lead me to breaking down and analyzing everything in terms of what it produces in my personal life and I can see a way of living that I would find enjoyable. Too bad now I have to actually get myself to do this shit, and I'm not actually getting paid till someone gives me a chance.
So like trying to quantify your power level? I've done something of a similar inclination- If you're interested in a certain subject, you could keep a tally of all the concepts you've learned (let's say maths) and start counting them. And possibly, subtracted those concepts that you can actively recall.

We can compare power levels if you want: This will be the future of fighting, we can call it neo-point combat.
Surely concepts would be weighted differently. Would taking off our clothes increase our neo-points? Could I go from fashionably sensible severely mentally retarded, to genius savant with the removal of my trousers? If not what would be the analogical equivalent? I see no point in doing this unless this is the case.
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
It is the case, so it shall be done.
Would taking off our clothes increase our neo-points? Could I go from fashionably sensible severely mentally retarded, to genius savant with the removal of my trousers? If not what would be the analogical equivalent? I see no point in doing this unless this is the case.
It is the case, so it shall be done! Draw your weapon! Or in this theme: Undress your clothes!
 

Elen

Cold and damp
Local time
Today, 14:09
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
131
*beats up Rebus* So, like, I've got these excess neo-points. Do I win? Am I doing it right?
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
Today, 22:09
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1,623
Location
Ireland
Haha no dude you forgot rule 23: Water flows through rocks and rebis is water
 

Elen

Cold and damp
Local time
Today, 14:09
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
131
@Inexorable Username

I wanted to check in and say my plan has gone well.

I have gotten in 4 strength training routines this week. I have also started getting out of bed when I wake up stupid early and can't fall asleep again. I do yoga and try not to hate myself.

I am so sore. So very sore. But my strength is returning. So, yay?

You haven't checked in for a while. How is your master plan going?
 

Inexorable Username

Well-Known Member
Local time
Today, 17:09
Joined
Nov 14, 2019
Messages
731
@Inexorable Username

I wanted to check in and say my plan has gone well.

I have gotten in 4 strength training routines this week. I have also started getting out of bed when I wake up stupid early and can't fall asleep again. I do yoga and try not to hate myself.

I am so sore. So very sore. But my strength is returning. So, yay?

You haven't checked in for a while. How is your master plan going?
To be totally honest, it’s spotty, but there is overall improvement!

I’m eating healthier, I’ve been making my bed more often. Yesterday I got a big procrastination item knocked off the list. Non of it is really “sticking” just yet in a permanent way, but this time, rather than beating myself up for not sticking to a certain routine, I’m allowing myself to take a more philosophical, compassionate approach to self-discipline.

I’ve been learning that what works for me is just very atypical. Standardized advice has pretty much never worked out for me.

So I’m kind of carving my own path here. Instead of saying “What do I have to do now?” I say “What will make me happier a few hours from now?”

It’s changed the way I look at discipline. Anticipating the happiness I’ll experience shortly gets me a bit excited.

I’ve also tried some other very weird, unconventional approaches to discipline. I’ve made voice memo descriptions of the things on my list and how I plan to do them, and then I listen to them while I’m going through my tasks or anticipating doing that. Hearing my own voice describing what I intend to do, in a relaxed, soft sort of way, is strangely compelling.

I think I’m coming to realize that I’ve had a lot of “personal bullying” that was going on, which was holding me back. I’ve been working on removing that element of self-contempt...

I’ve found very strange ways to be disciplined. My sleep schedule still sucks, but now I anticipate sleeping so I do it more often and fall asleep more easily.

For that, I had to learn to value and enjoy sleep more, so I got into the idea of lucid dreaming and it sort of snowballed from there. I’ve been working more and more on remembering my dreams and trying to gain a level of control over them. Sometimes I wake up with resolutions I didn’t have before I went to sleep. What bothers me is that I missed it! So maybe I can learn to tap in to that area of the brain.

I think things aren’t going well! My discipline has become a little too abstract to report on though, and I’d be afraid that people would think I’m weird, crazy, or lazy! Lol.

When I get “too weird” for normal, I often get a bit reclusive about it. I doubt myself plenty so when other people doubt me, it’s really counter productive.

Sharing is weird for me anyways, though. I’ve been working on it - but I’m not the sharing kind of individual if you catch my drift.

I’m glad I started this thread though because I learned a lot of techniques and got a lot of incentive here! I would call this project a success!

Also...a note on success.

I’ve come to the belief that the more we exercise self-discipline the easier it should get, even if we fail. We are building the neural pathways associated with disciplined behavior, and every time we exercise them, we strengthen them, and build new connections.

It’s rather like exercising your muscles I think. Your muscles may grow smaller after prolonged periods of not being used, but every time people build muscle, a bit of that residual strength seems to remain. Or like having tanned skin. The more your skin isn’t tanned throughout life, the more you develop a darker base skin color.
 
Top Bottom