It's Useless

[citrusbreath95]

Dirty fingernails are not useless because they denote hardwork and a lack of complete care for one's appearance, instead turned towards deeper and more complex matters in life.

Whining is useless.

 

[speiss]

Whining is not useless because it's a more efficient way of making ears bleed.

Fashion is useless.

 

[lucky12]

Fashion is not useless, it is a part of the mind to which it appeals.

Sandy vagina's are useless.

 

[speiss]

Sandy vagina's are not useless because they irritate grammar nazis with their irritating incorrect apostrophes. Unless the sandy vagina possesses something. Besides sand.

Porn is useless.

 

[Mythica]

Porn is not useless, it provides jobs for beautiful people.

Air in a can is useless.

 

[speiss]

Air in a can is not useless because it helps oil slip off bike chains

Babies are useless.

 

[lucky12]

Babies aren't useless because they provide jobs and generate needs which fuel the economy!

HIV is useless.

 

[conflict]

HIV is not useless because it provides jobs for scientists who are trying to find a cure.

Love is useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

HIV isn't useless because because it provides jobs and generates needs which fuel the economy! (I hope that is original ) It gives scientists ideas which may eventually find a cure for cancer.

Antarctica is useless.

HIV is not useless because it provides jobs for scientists who are trying to find a cure.

Love is useless.

conflict ... didn't see your post.

Love is not useless because "love makes the world go 'round." That's a song I heard long ago but couldn't find it on the internet.

Antarctica is useless.

 

[lucky12]

Antarctica is not useless, you must be fucked. It is home to tons of different species! And oil, but we already have enough oil so let's hope they leave it alone and we go electric.

Time is useless.

 

[citrusbreath95]

Time is not useless because it "stops everything from happening at once."

Pandas are useless.

 

[lucky12]

Pandas are not useless, they dole out the necessary amount of sexual harassment
required to hold order in the universe.

Coffins are useless.

 

[speiss]

Coffins are not useless because they give people some distorted sense of satisfaction that comes from burying dead loved ones in a pretty box six feet below the ground.

Burnt tongues are useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

Burnt tongues are not useless as without burnt tongues the favored will go on telling as many lies as they can get away with.

Online Piracy is useless.

 

[perkins]

Online piracy is not useless because I can wear an eye patch and feed my pet parrot while looking for internet treasures.

Pirates are useless.

 

[lucky12]

Pirates aren't useless because they provide me with free text books for all of my classes. Yarr

School bookstores are useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

School bookstores aren't useless because they provide a place for housing the paraphernalia for teachers to supply reading assignments.

Feelings are useless to thinking people.

 

[lucky12]

Feelings aren't useless to thinking people because they are able to imitate the feelings they observe coming from feeling people. This allows them to pretend they have well developed feelings and fool feeling people.

Broken condoms are useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

Broken condoms have great value. They encourage the making of condoms so strong they couldn't possibly break. A side effect would be no feeling for the penis which isn't needed anyway. This means less sex using condoms, the world population would go down, there would be less consumption and the side effect of global warming would go away. I think this must be flawless logic,

Democracy is worthless because it always succumbs to greedy voters who will bankrupt the public treasury.

 

[lucky12]

Democracy isn't worthless because it currently provides an example of a problematic system where everything has gone wrong, it allows scientists to actively look for solutions to this system to track the worth of human beings over real time.

Remembering the names of strangers is useless.

 

[Chaucerinthewoods]

Remembering the names of strangers isn't useless because their names will help you remember that they were strangers, and that remembering the names of strangers isn't useless.

Benydrl and chai tea are useless.

 

[lucky12]

When mixed, benydrl and chai tea are effective sedatives for pets and the elderly. Therefore, they're not useless.

Broken pencil sharpeners are useless.

 

[speiss]

Broken pencil sharpeners aren't useless because you can throw them at people in a quiet classroom when you want to get their attention.

Currency is useless.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Currency is in fact useful: when it's not being siphoned off by the bourgeois and/or bludgeoned by economic theorists, it's a functional surrogate for actual labor.


Empty space is useless.

 

[speiss]

Empty space is not useless because without it there wouldn't be more than one place to set your popsicle down.

High school competitive sports are useless.

 

[SteelEye]

Empty space is not useless as it is often used to make light bulbs functional.

EDIT: ninja'd...
High School competitive sports are not useless because they provide
an excellent excuse for hanging out with specific females of interest.

OGLE-TR-122 is useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

OGLE-TR-122 is not useless because it gave me an excuse to practice Google just as it gives astronomers an excuse to measure the size of tiny stars.

My cat Sammie is useless.

 

[tepellian]

Your cat Sammie is not useless because s/he can provide amusement with jumping, playing (with you?), and maybe listening to you talk out loud to yourself, if you do that sort of thing.

Ambisinistry is useless.

 

[lucky12]

Being ambisinistrous is not useless because you can use your left handedness in pool games to take advantage of right handed players by laying the cue ball in spaces awkward for right handers. Did I get that right? Or was is "clumsy on both hands"

*side note, I'm ambidextrous (Grew up left handed until 3 or 4 and then "converted")

Consistently harassing the opposite sex until you "get your way" is useless.

 

[tepellian]

(Side note in return: it's clumsy on both hands. I was trying to think of what the opposite of 'ambidextrous' would be. I have a pretty good balance of dexterity between hands too, can and often do write with either, and so on.)

Consistently harassing the opposite sex until you "get your way" is not useless, because the opposite sex sometimes comes up with amusing reactions, and also because sometimes you will get your way.

Switching to using a dvorak keyboard layout if you're good at using qwerty is useless.

 

[Mello]

This thread is useless.

[But you should know how to express and suppress your thoughts.]

 

[Otherside]

Otherside throws a handfull of everything my body found useless from this morning's breakfast.

 

[BigApplePi]

Learning to use a Divorak keyboard is not useless if it starts a great new trend.

Otherside throws a handfull of everything my body found useless from this morning's breakfast.

Not useless if my dog eagerly laps it up.

Learning to speak ancient Latin is useless.

 

[speiss]

Learning to speak ancient Latin isn't useless because it's the impetus behind enrolling in a class that supplies very decent time for napping.

Chocolate skittles are useless.

 

[lucky12]

Chocolate skittles aren't useless, you can use them to trick hunters into thinking they are pellets of rabbit poop.

Moldy bread is useless.

 

[zether]

Moldy bread can be used to lure birds close enough for observation.

Excessive worrying is useless.

 

[Mello]

You need to worry, so you can not worry. (Deep)

Teaching everyone everything is useless.

 

[speiss]

Teaching everyone everything isn't useless because the effort of such an endeavor makes one so tired that it lulls them to sleep.

Sleep is useless.

 

[lord methous]

Sleep is not useless. It lets us know the weak from the strong.

People that are Annoying are useless.

 

[Otherside]

Sandy vagina's are not useless because they irritate grammar nazis with their irritating incorrect apostrophes. Unless the sandy vagina possesses something. Besides sand.

Porn is useless.

Do you know "Sally Sandpaper" too?

 

[speiss]

Do you know "Sally Sandpaper" too?

Oh yes.

Me and her are old chums. We go way back.

 

[Otherside]

Black jelly beans are useless.

 

[lord methous]

Clearly the rules of this thread are useless as they are not followed very well.

 

[lucky12]

The rules of this thread are not useless, when they are not followed the thread is still continually contributed to.

Spammers on forums are useless.

 

[tepellian]

Spammers on forums are not useless, since they make for funny things to read or lots of space to skip over, which gives my middle finger good exercise on the scroll wheel.

Lucky numbers are useless. :P

 

[Otherside]

Spammers on forums are not useless, since they make for funny things to read or lots of space to skip over, which gives my middle finger good exercise on the scroll wheel.

Lucky numbers are useless. :P

Knowing someone's perceived "Lucky Number" can be useful. For instance, upon the death of my sister who was single, knowing hers was the key to accessing a large number of family photos left on her PC. There are other ways of getting around a problem like that, but they all require greater time and resources. She was an IT admin and had things pretty "tight", security wise.

A torn contact lens is useless.

 

[BigApplePi]

A torn contact lens is not useless as they will have to be sold more often thus making more money for the manufacturer and keeping employees employed longer. (It's called "planned obsolescence.")

Bombing innocent women and children with bombs dropped from planes is useless.

 

[SteelEye]

Bombing innocent women and children with bombs dropped from planes is not useless, since it gives pilots an excuse to meet their minimum flight requirements for their licenses. (Not to mention it provides a place for *cough* certain large governments to dump their excess bombs.)

This link is useless.

 

[MizKodomo]

This Link is not useless, for it gives moments of mental stimulation, followed by *what does it mean* questioning only to be followed by wiki tabs being opened, allowing the self to be distracted by the rest of the days conundrums and questions.

Children are Useless

 

[BigApplePi]

Children are not useless. Just ask your nearest friendly pedophile.

Trying to abstain from sex is useless.