Is paper really enough?

[Thurlor]

I apologise in advance if people find this question to be crass or disgusting but I feel it is quite valid.

This question specifically relates to the inconsistencies present in most people's thought processes.

So, if you were to (somehow) have some faeces splashed on your leg would you be content with wiping it off with tp or would you wish to wash it off?

How many of the people opting to wash it off would be perfectly okay with using tp to wipe it off their anus?

Do they think the anus is fundamentally unclean(able)?

 

[Steven Gerrard]

lol

 

[Latte]

The French say neigh.

Spoiler

For me it's a matter of poop to rectal opening ruboff. If the poop comes out in one fell swoop (one fell poop) without leaving skidmarks in the butt I'm fine with doing a single wipe to check if there is poop and if there isn't, or it's just slightly vaguely mildly yellow, it's fine. If not, I definitely prefer to shower, or I feel anusly filthy.

That said, how do y'all feeling about washing your penises or vaginas after every pee?

The former is obviously more easy. I'm under the impression that it is uncommon, even in one's own home.

 

[Steven Gerrard]

That would take up so much of ones life -
There's no laughter emoticon

 

[Minuend]

http://www.greensmilies.com/smilie-album/

I agree with Latte

Though, I don't think I'm quite at the stage in this forum relationship where I want to debate vagina cleansing

 

[Latte]

That would take up so much of ones life -
There's no laughter emoticon

YOU STINK OF PISS

 

[Latte]

FROM YOUR CROTCH AREA

 

[Thurlor]

I've found that some guys are too embarrassed to shake (enough) and they are the ones that stink of piss.

'OMG, he's playing with himself'.

 

[Latte]

When I shake in pubic bathrooms I am usually playing with myself.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Step 1: Avoid the need to wipe to begin with. Spread the cheeks, mthrfckr!

Step 2: Wipe in all 4 directions if necessary, with high quality TP. I'd rather use a pine cone than bad quality John Wayne TP. That stuff's restricted to firestarter.

And always shake. Who doesn't shake (other than the ladyfolk... but they could do some shaking too, just in case)?

 

[Hadoblado]

The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...

 

[Latte]

The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...

Rejoice!

With http://www.poopourri.com/ , all your troubles in life are sure to go away like the dinosaurs!

An elephant is a dinosaur!

A bird is scary!


We died!

We are zombies!

Your cat eats you when you die in your apartment!

 

[Absurdity]

Your cat eats you when you die in your apartment!

And then poops you out

 

[Minuend]

Vincent isn't going to eat you while you sleep, latte >>_>>

 

[Base groove]

I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)

Specific to masturbation... that's some pretty easy cleanup if you have any aim whatsoever. Isn't that what the shower's for anyway?

Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).

 

[Pizzabeak]

If you don't use the "wrap some tp around your finger and insert into anus then move in circular motion" method there's probably some stuff still stuck in there, might as well spend more time trying to get every single piece of snot/boogers out the nose, wax out the ear, dandruff out the hair?

Some type of statement that reflects the beauty if you will, or captures rather neatly the imperfectness of human enterprise. Not sure why that would even need to be a thing though. Basically someone should invent more convenient ways of suctioning things, for increased psychological comfort. Many things about the world today seem awfully Stone Age-y and just somewhat interesting if you think about it, such as cars, but I suppose on the timeline we're more or less where we should be as far as what progression in certain areas should be, I would say 'where are the matter transporters' but there's hardly any need to get ahead of ourselves with overly sci-fi influenced ideals.

 

[Hadoblado]

Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)

what?

 

[Base groove]

what?

Hahaha shhhh I need the sleep. All the pieces are there they just don't fit together.

 

[Latte]

I find it quite poetic.

Interpretation/Translation of Based Poetry:

Why sully thy buttocks after bodily cleansing? Ideally an activity involving such should have occured before the cleansing of the flesh. What sense is there in this self-defeating order of post-shower poopery. I know not. I despair. S types don't really care.

 

[Base groove]

I find it quite poetic.

Interpretation/Translation of Based Poetry:

Why sully thy buttocks after bodily cleansing? Ideally an activity involving such should have occured before the cleansing of the flesh. What sense is there in this self-defeating order of post-shower poopery. I know not. I despair. S types don't really care.

very good, A+

You captured the whole entire thing at once, just like a great flush,

Spoiler

or a poop that doesn't have to be repeated ten minutes later.

Spoiler

this is done now isn't it?

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Don't worry you are still going to have fecal matter on your fingers, you have to flush, you touch the door, even the soap is dirty after the first contact.

Unless your have gloves etc. Quite interesting, and you could clean your hands in 90% alcohol solution with nitric acid.

 

[Jennywocky]

The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...

After you posted that, it'll haunt all of us.

I'm with THD on the despicable nature of inadequately constructed TP. On occasion, depending on how cheap the public washroom went to conserve money, I definitely feel trolled. They might as well have saved more by installing TP with a hole in the middle of each sheet, through which we are told to stick our finger and wipe with it.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

The only viable solution left:

Spoiler

 

[Helvete]

What, so you guys don't use a sponge on a stick anymore?

 

[Steven Gerrard]

Specific to masturbation... that's some pretty easy cleanup if you have any aim whatsoever. Isn't that what the shower's for anyway?

Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).

Great post.

 

[Rook]

Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).

This is very interesting, perhaps enlightening. So through your actions, you have prohibited billions of potential offspring from being birthed.

Your children could have filled 10 earths. That puts Genghis Khan way back on the bandwagon.

 

[Fukyo]

I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)

What is worse than having to go after a shower?

Having to go while in the shower.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I've been squatting for years, before I saw this video, but it really works, the proper and appropriate angle just lets everything out at once. *disclaimer* this obviously depends on your diet as well, if you're (likely) consuming a shit load (yes) of stuff that is hard on your GI/digestive system, then it's going to come out...shittily.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYcv6odWfTM

I don't own one of those stools, just squat over the toilet, assuming you're tall enough. works most of the time. the tissue/toilet paper 90%+ of the time comes back white/clean-looking; and never any berries. Will eventually move to a toilet bidet...eventually.

I'm usually on-off the toilet in <2 minutes, clean behind. Washing my hands takes longer than I actually spent on the toilet.

 

[Base groove]

What is worse than having to go after a shower?

Having to go while in the shower.

. How, uncomfortable. I hope I brought an extra towel.

In this instance, one should hit the sink before the shower, ya? Do you leave the shower running?

 

[The Void]

I am in third world.
No Toilet paper or fancy stuffs.
I Directly use Fingers.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

Replace toilet paper with wipes?

 

[Hawkeye]

It's like wiping peanut butter off a shag carpet...

 

[JennaSayQuoi]

This whole thread is making me laugh. I was having kind of a crumby day today, but you guys are def improving it.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

So through your actions, you have prohibited billions of potential offspring from being birthed.

Single-handedly.

 

[Grayman]

I've found that some guys are too embarrassed to shake (enough) and they are the ones that stink of piss.

'OMG, he's playing with himself'.

It doesn't take more than a single flick if you let it drain properly before flicking it all over the place.

It is kind of the opposite of batting in baseball. If you swing wide, like when hitting foul balls, it is actually like hitting a home run at the urinal, but if you swing smooth and straight, your probably going to have to swing a few more times before your done.

 

[Rook]

Single-handedly.

I did not see the ambiguity at once.

I applaud you, sir. Well thought out.
One of the best one-liners I have ever encountered.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

It doesn't take more than a single flick if you let it drain properly before flicking it all over the place.

It is kind of the opposite of batting in baseball. If you swing wide, like when hitting foul balls, it is actually like hitting a home run at the urinal, but if you swing smooth and straight, your probably going to have to swing a few more times before your done.

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljup8cIRzIk

One swift circular motion usually does the trick.

 

[Hawkeye]

One up, one down and one to polish.

 

[Base groove]

Single-handedly.

Bazinga

 

[BigApplePi]

I am in third world.
No Toilet paper or fancy stuffs.
I Directly use Fingers.

Can we shake on that?