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Is paper really enough?

Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
534
Location
Victoria, Australia
#1
I apologise in advance if people find this question to be crass or disgusting but I feel it is quite valid.

This question specifically relates to the inconsistencies present in most people's thought processes.

So, if you were to (somehow) have some faeces splashed on your leg would you be content with wiping it off with tp or would you wish to wash it off?

How many of the people opting to wash it off would be perfectly okay with using tp to wipe it off their anus?

Do they think the anus is fundamentally unclean(able)?
 

Latte

Preferably Not Redundant
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
842
Location
Where do you live?
#3
The French say neigh.

For me it's a matter of poop to rectal opening ruboff. If the poop comes out in one fell swoop (one fell poop) without leaving skidmarks in the butt I'm fine with doing a single wipe to check if there is poop and if there isn't, or it's just slightly vaguely mildly yellow, it's fine. If not, I definitely prefer to shower, or I feel anusly filthy.

That said, how do y'all feeling about washing your penises or vaginas after every pee?

The former is obviously more easy. I'm under the impression that it is uncommon, even in one's own home.
 
Joined
Jul 8, 2012
Messages
534
Location
Victoria, Australia
#8
I've found that some guys are too embarrassed to shake (enough) and they are the ones that stink of piss.

'OMG, he's playing with himself'.
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,028
#10
Step 1: Avoid the need to wipe to begin with. Spread the cheeks, mthrfckr!

Step 2: Wipe in all 4 directions if necessary, with high quality TP. I'd rather use a pine cone than bad quality John Wayne TP. That stuff's restricted to firestarter.

And always shake. Who doesn't shake (other than the ladyfolk... but they could do some shaking too, just in case)?
 

Hadoblado

The choicest fuckboi
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
4,935
#11
The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...
 

Latte

Preferably Not Redundant
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
842
Location
Where do you live?
#12
The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...
Rejoice!

With http://www.poopourri.com/ , all your troubles in life are sure to go away like the dinosaurs! :elephant:

An elephant is a dinosaur! :king-twitter:

A bird is scary! :storks:


We died! :rip:

We are zombies! :ahh:

Your cat eats you when you die in your apartment! :cat:
 
Joined
Dec 20, 2013
Messages
1,866
#15
I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,028
#16
I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)
Specific to masturbation... that's some pretty easy cleanup if you have any aim whatsoever. Isn't that what the shower's for anyway? :D

Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).
 

Pizzabeak

*Guardians of the Galaxy*
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
1,718
#17
If you don't use the "wrap some tp around your finger and insert into anus then move in circular motion" method there's probably some stuff still stuck in there, might as well spend more time trying to get every single piece of snot/boogers out the nose, wax out the ear, dandruff out the hair?

Some type of statement that reflects the beauty if you will, or captures rather neatly the imperfectness of human enterprise. Not sure why that would even need to be a thing though. Basically someone should invent more convenient ways of suctioning things, for increased psychological comfort. Many things about the world today seem awfully Stone Age-y and just somewhat interesting if you think about it, such as cars, but I suppose on the timeline we're more or less where we should be as far as what progression in certain areas should be, I would say 'where are the matter transporters' but there's hardly any need to get ahead of ourselves with overly sci-fi influenced ideals.
 

Hadoblado

The choicest fuckboi
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
4,935
#18
Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)
what?
 

Latte

Preferably Not Redundant
Joined
Oct 15, 2010
Messages
842
Location
Where do you live?
#20
I find it quite poetic.

Interpretation/Translation of Based Poetry:

Why sully thy buttocks after bodily cleansing? Ideally an activity involving such should have occured before the cleansing of the flesh. What sense is there in this self-defeating order of post-shower poopery. I know not. I despair. S types don't really care.
 
Joined
Dec 20, 2013
Messages
1,866
#21
I find it quite poetic.

Interpretation/Translation of Based Poetry:

Why sully thy buttocks after bodily cleansing? Ideally an activity involving such should have occured before the cleansing of the flesh. What sense is there in this self-defeating order of post-shower poopery. I know not. I despair. S types don't really care.

:D very good, A+

You captured the whole entire thing at once, just like a great flush,
or a poop that doesn't have to be repeated ten minutes later.
this is done now isn't it?
 

Blarraun

straightedgy
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
4,124
Location
someplace windswept
#22
Don't worry you are still going to have fecal matter on your fingers, you have to flush, you touch the door, even the soap is dirty after the first contact.

Unless your have gloves etc. Quite interesting, and you could clean your hands in 90% alcohol solution with nitric acid.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,610
Location
Charn
#23
The age old question...

Do I take a dump first in the morning so I can then shower off the shrapnel burn, or do I shower first so I don't have to have to smell my crimes with humidity enhanced olfaction?

It haunts me...
After you posted that, it'll haunt all of us.

I'm with THD on the despicable nature of inadequately constructed TP. On occasion, depending on how cheap the public washroom went to conserve money, I definitely feel trolled. They might as well have saved more by installing TP with a hole in the middle of each sheet, through which we are told to stick our finger and wipe with it.
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,028
#24
The only viable solution left:
 

Steven Gerrard

Singing or frowning
Joined
Jan 3, 2014
Messages
310
#26
Specific to masturbation... that's some pretty easy cleanup if you have any aim whatsoever. Isn't that what the shower's for anyway? :D

Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).
Great post.
 

Rook

..._ _ _...
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
1,785
#27
Otherwise I actually calculated today that the amount of semen I've ejaculated over my lifetime thus far (21.58 L) assuming one nightly weasel whacking since age 13 and 1 tsp of ejaculate per ejaculation, is enough to impregnate every woman in the world today 23+ times (7.5 billion/2 women at 20 million sperm per mL).
This is very interesting, perhaps enlightening. So through your actions, you have prohibited billions of potential offspring from being birthed.

Your children could have filled 10 earths. That puts Genghis Khan way back on the bandwagon.
 

Fukyo

blurb blurb
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
4,325
#28
I usually get pretty pissed* if I have to shit after a shower. This should be sufficient to answer the op. Hell, why not throw masturbating in there too? Where is the sense in engaging in these activities (which are unclean) after cleaning yourself? If you're not clean, then you're unclean. I think it's S types that don't give a shit* honestly (if you are not giving then you are...)
What is worse than having to go after a shower?

Having to go while in the shower. :ahh:
 

TimeAsylums

Prolific Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
3,129
#29
I've been squatting for years, before I saw this video, but it really works, the proper and appropriate angle just lets everything out at once. *disclaimer* this obviously depends on your diet as well, if you're (likely) consuming a shit load (yes) of stuff that is hard on your GI/digestive system, then it's going to come out...shittily.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYcv6odWfTM

I don't own one of those stools, just squat over the toilet, assuming you're tall enough. works most of the time. the tissue/toilet paper 90%+ of the time comes back white/clean-looking; and never any berries. Will eventually move to a toilet bidet...eventually.

I'm usually on-off the toilet in <2 minutes, clean behind. Washing my hands takes longer than I actually spent on the toilet.
 
Joined
Dec 23, 2013
Messages
900
Location
In the Void
#31
I am in third world.
No Toilet paper or fancy stuffs.
I Directly use Fingers.:phear:
 

DelusiveNinja

Falsifier of Reality
Joined
Jun 1, 2013
Messages
408
Location
Michigan
#32
Replace toilet paper with wipes?
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,028
#35
So through your actions, you have prohibited billions of potential offspring from being birthed.
Single-handedly.
 

Grayman

Team Ignorant
Joined
Jan 8, 2013
Messages
4,153
Location
US of A
#36
I've found that some guys are too embarrassed to shake (enough) and they are the ones that stink of piss.

'OMG, he's playing with himself'.
It doesn't take more than a single flick if you let it drain properly before flicking it all over the place.

It is kind of the opposite of batting in baseball. If you swing wide, like when hitting foul balls, it is actually like hitting a home run at the urinal, but if you swing smooth and straight, your probably going to have to swing a few more times before your done.
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2012
Messages
5,028
#38
It doesn't take more than a single flick if you let it drain properly before flicking it all over the place.

It is kind of the opposite of batting in baseball. If you swing wide, like when hitting foul balls, it is actually like hitting a home run at the urinal, but if you swing smooth and straight, your probably going to have to swing a few more times before your done.
One swift circular motion usually does the trick.
 
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