INTP Interaction Manual

[Thaklaar]

Or are we oblivious because we speculate so much and don't really act?

That is so true for me. Ti-Ne works really good for troubleshooting machines. Not so good for troubleshooting my wife.

 

[BigApplePi]

Never ask an INTP what they are thinking about...You may not like the answer.
And never give an INTP an ultimatum... Because you will definitely will not like the answer.

Not sure about anyone else but this fits me pretty well as some people have found out the hard way.

Agent of C. I thought some about what you said and was wondering what you were thinking when you said it. Don't you think it rather absolute?

The reason I say this is someone the other day asked me how I was and I got very upset although I disguised it somewhat. Then I realized they were asking me a general question when I was thinking something specific at the time and didn't like what I was taking, not as an ultimatum as you put it, but as a directive. Then I realized my standards were different from theirs and they were entitled to have their standards but I ask, were they entitled not to understand mine?

 

[Agent of Chaos]

Agent of C. I thought some about what you said and was wondering what you were thinking when you said it. Don't you think it rather absolute?

The reason I say this is someone the other day asked me how I was and I got very upset although I disguised it somewhat. Then I realized they were asking me a general question when I was thinking something specific at the time and didn't like what I was taking, not as an ultimatum as you put it, but as a directive. Then I realized my standards were different from theirs and they were entitled to have their standards but I ask, were they entitled not to understand mine?

The first is pretty self-explanatory.
On the second one I hate being given ultimatums (It's either her or me! or Your job or your family! kind of things) and I usually know what answer they want so I give them the opposite just out of sarcasm. Since a most of people misunderstand my sense of humor (something that has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years), they get offended and irrational then it snowballs.

I've told people close to me,"If you think I'm serious then I'm probably joking and if you think I'm joking I'm more than likely serious." But it's one of those "in one ear and out the other" things.

That's why I put in:
Not sure about anyone else but this fits me pretty well as some people have found out the hard way.

 

[Donovitch]

I got fired from my last job for not following these suggestions. I'm never working customer service again.

Well for us I would suggest making individual people into tasks or perhaps a mission. Make a mental list of what you think they might care about and ask questions related to that.

 

[Wolf18]

So, I had this crazy Idea. I want to make a set of instructions for dealing with INTPs to give to a loved one. What our preferences are, what we mean when we do x, etc. I'm too lazy to write it all myself, I need inspiration. So, if you were to give instructions on how best to interact (peacefully) with you, what are the do's and dont's?

Free copies if I ever actually put it together.

Let's do it. Make a google doc and quote this when you do.

 

[MissQuote]

* Realize that INTPs will do bizarre freaky things like write actual manuals about how to interact with them, and give them to you. This is not meant to be insulting... mostly. They honestly are trying to help, and they put a lot of store in accurate manuals and instructions.

* Cope with the fact that their solution to the perceived communication gap is for you to learn how to talk with them, not for them to learn how to talk with you. From their perspective, they have perfect communication skills, at least for the subjects they like to talk about. If challenged on this, they will simply point to the fact that they have better spelling and grammar than you do, and most probably a higher IQ. They also like being Spock, the brainbox go-to guy, and the workplace smartass.

* They'll be disappointed in you if you don't read the manual. Even if it's about as appealing as sorting the Sahara by sand grain size.

* They'll KNOW you didn't read it the first time they make mention of something they put in there and you look blank.

* They will deliberately test you like this a few days after giving you the manual.

* Not reading, memorizing, and applying the manual will be taken as a sign that you don't really want to make the effort to communicate effectively with them after all. If you try other methods, you'll get a blank or annoyed look and a retort of "It's all in the manual we gave you."

* It won't all be in the manual.

* The manual will read like it was written by an alien or a psychopath. Maybe an alien psychopath. Try not to freak out.

* You are allowed (even encouraged) to ask questions about things in the manual. The best questions are the bluntest ones - don't dance around what you're trying to ask. "What the hell kind of freaky-ass manual is this?!" is a perfectly acceptable question, and is covered in appendix B.

* Yes, they can read your mind. Or at least know what you're going to ask.

* Yes, they think it's funny.

* It is, actually.

* That's covered in appendix F.

* See? I told you.

* That won't help, this manual is fireproof.

* Shredding will only result in DSLGBFUHWERBFGADLIBGUASGBU...

-------------------

* Hi! I'm your friendly INTP interaction manual, revision 2!

This had me laughing pretty bad last night.

 

[JASSY]

chapter 2

do not play mind games with an INTP. just... don't.

we'll always win

 

[Duxwing]

we'll always win

And if we don't, we'll find an ENTP and an INTJ who will forge the implements of your destruction.

-Duxwing

 

[SierraArcher]

This was a terrific idea.

- Do not sugar-coat bad news or harsh opinions. Your INTP will see right through it and it will irritate the hell out of him or her.
- Do not belittle INTP feelings by labeling a problem as "not so bad". Honesty is great. If you feel like they are overreacting, prove to them that there's no need to. But do not just smother an INTP with groundless positive outlooks while they are brooding.
- If your INTP friend or partner is truly upset, your being there IS appreciated as long as their need for SILENCE is appreciated.

And most importantly, in my opinion:

- If you can appreciate the mystery and the beauty in someone without fully understanding all the whys and hows of the way they are, only then can you take on an INTP.

 

[PhoenixRising]

[bimgx=300]http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/65261_10151300805350957_1142453013_n.jpg[/bimgx]

 

[Nick]

So, do we have a 1-page manual ready for our peers to share?

 

[Selkon]

Rule 1: When dealing with an INTP, make no assumptions unless you know their motivations. No guessing, you have to know for certain what they want before you can determine who they are.

Rule 2: An INTP will only make assumptions from what they can observe.

Rule 3: Any contradictions in your communication and/or actions WILL be noticed. We pride ourselves on our ability to gather and process information. Be careful.

Guideline 1: Be friendly. This is good advice for any personality type. No harm will come from courtesy.

Guideline 2: Be straightforward. We don't enjoy guessing games. Don't make us play them and you will find out what you want to know about us quickly.


Anything else is more subjective information in my opinion.

 

[BigApplePi]

Chapter 1

Never tell an INTP their ideas are stupid.

I have been avoiding this thread because largely I think it's somewhat silly.

Can we make an exception?

 

[Hazel]

This is great!! A damn good idea!
Here:

-INTPs don´t like messy relationships/friendships, so don´t be surprised by receiving this manual.
-If you manipulate an INTP, they NEVER trust you again.
-INTP are passive-agresive sometimes, that means if you ask them to do something they may do it, but sometimes they won't just to prove they can.
-Most of INTPs don't know how to flirt.
-INTPs may have strong feelings when they do, but its unlikely they show them.
-Oftentimes, INTPs will opt to simply move on from a topic before it’s ever understood what they were trying to say, rather than try to lay things out in plain terms.
-INTPs may get easily frustrated trying to describe their thoughts to other people. INTPs enjoy presenting their ideas to other people, but explaining how they got from A to Z is another matter.
-INTPs, despite seeking simplicity in dating and romantic relationships, INTPs do not lack passion or romantic feelings.
-People have the patience and determination to get through their shields.
-(to keep in mind) INTPs make there own "definitions" of things. (e.g. "A father is supposed to...")
-INTPs are pretty calm and quiet, but you break his/her principles or do something they consider wrong, they will fight like hell.
-You may think the entire place is a disaster, but everything is in its place!
-We're mad, and we know that. (and we like it)