Lots to chew on. I'll start here:
Fortunately journalism has allowed me to pursue new interests at about that time span.
Lately it's getting to be shorter. I learned to be an online editor two years ago, for three months, before I became executive editor. Now, apparently, I have to learn to be an accountant , as part of my editing job, if I want anyone here to get paid. You might suspect accounting and the INTP personality are not a very good match. You'd be right.
I wouldn't worry too much about your lack of focus. Comfort yourself with the realization that you can probably succeed at anything to which you turn your hand, and then look around for something fun.
How'd you get into journalism, Editor One? My guess is you have been doing it for awhile- are you a copy editor or a page editor or what? Do you work for an actual news agency? Are they hiring anyone ever again? It seems like a hopeless situation, journalism. That's all I ever here about it, how everything's going up in flames. If that weren't the case, I would consider entering that field- here we go, eudemonia- BUT, I am not going to go back to school and spend buckets of cash on something fruitless, as I did with my film studies major. (I think I'm finally paying off the student loan this year, eleven years post graduation.)
Also, the realization that I can probably succeed at whatever I do, not so comforting. That's kind of why I'm in the situation that I'm in in the first place. I imagine other INTPs can relate to that. This specialized world is kind of a tough place for us. I think I'd be comforted if there was one thing that stood out above all else.
originally posted by eudemonia :
1. you say that you are attracted to a particular career....BUT. Ahhh, those 'buts'! They stop us from doing anything. There will always be tons of reasons why you shouldn't try something and all of those reasons will be logical. When you identify the right direction, you'll demolish those buts. Or, another way of putting it. Allow your brain to explore the ideas and every time a 'but' comes along, write it down and then put it aside. 'Buts' are challenges and maybe even problems; they are NOT reasons for not pursuing what you really want to do. They seem to serve the function of preventing us from even thinking about what we really want. Put the buts aside and allow yourself to dream.
Nice advice, although I'm tired of dreaming. I'm ready to wake up and be both realistic and content at the same time. If you want my version of fantasy land, though, here we go:
I would finish my novel and I would be happy with it. I would have enough drive to do something with it, as in get it published, along with that children's book I wrote and illustrated two years ago that is sitting on a shelf some where. Maybe I would write more stuff; maybe I wouldn't. If I were to write more, I would allow my Ne to just take off and write some completely out there material and not give a shit whether it made sense or not. I would be comfortable with that and not feel like an illogical loser idiot.
Maybe I would teach college or something. Maybe I would be an expert in something and I would be consulted for advice on films or something. Maybe I would suddenly discover I was the long-lost cousin of some filthy-rich aristocrat and I would be independently wealthy for the rest of my life. On the side I could dabble in philanthropy, like Bill Gates. I'd be a nice rich person, not an overindulgent lame one.
2. these ideas of yours, how deeply have you considered or pursued them? How did you identify them in the first place? I agree with Chocolate's advice. Reflect on those times in your life when you have really felt in flow, happy, effortlessly pursuing an activity in which you have felt fulfilled. Identify what it was about that activity that brought you happiness and fulfilment. Writing and literature appears to crop up in your post a bit. What is it about writing, literature, teaching, academia....that attracts you? What do people come to you for? What do you appear to do effortlessly and with enjoyment? These are clues that may help you discover a deeper connection to what you want to do.
Okay, yes, writing and literature. I am happiest when I am either reading or writing. I am also a good editor (I worked on the school newspapers in both high school and college). I have been told by people whom I respect that I am a good writer. What attracts me about teaching is I like sharing my excitement about learning/discovering things with others. Unfortunately, I don't have many of those others in my life right now. It seems teaching might fill that void. That said, I typically dislike writers. They always seem so full of themselves and connected with their emotions while I feel like- well, a brain enclosed in flesh.
3. Do you need or want a career? Why? What are you doing at the moment that makes you need a career? Are you enjoying yourself now? Are there other pressures that make you feel as if you 'should' have a career? One of the important elements that will help you identify a career that is more like a calling is ensuring you connect with your own 'voice'. Me, I pursued a couple of careers driven by a need for 'status', because of pressures I inherited in my childhood. Actually, I shoudl have become a teacher - although now I am becoming a lecturer at a local business school. The pay's crap; the business school is not well-known and I'm loving it. For the first time I'm connecting with what I am doing. Iknew I should have gone into teaching but I dismissed it because the pay is so rubbish and everyone looks down on teaching.
I don't NEED a career. My husband has a well-paid, as of now stable job. I kind of want a career because for one, I'm kind of just floating around in my house right now, lacking direction. I was being good about staying focused on my writing for about a year and a half, but that all kind of evaporated. I'm trying to return to it, stay focused on it, but I'm struggling. Sticking to task and self-discipline aren't exactly my strengths, and I am trying to do something which requires an enormous amount of both. Having internet access doesn't exactly help.
I want a career as well because I feel like I'm becoming more and more introverted and dependent on my husband every day. I don't like that feeling. I'm concerned I will turn into an agoraphobic freak who is incapable of taking care of herself. I miss the satisfaction that I got from completing and turning in papers and getting good grades and being told that I was a talented individual. I don't care about being well-paid so much. If it's a job that I like that pays something, that's good for me.
If you want to spend some time thinking in depth about these things I would recommend 'Build your own rainbow'by Hopson and Scally or 'what colour is your parachute' by Bolles. Both books have workbooks with questions and exercises that help you identify what you want.
Thanks, but oh good lord, I've done all that shit multiple, multiple times. It has never helped me, and I don't think it ever will.
Chocolate, I liked your advice as well, especially what you said about picking one thing out of a hundred and doing it. I was good like that for a year when I was focused on my writing. I have to be really strict about it, though, in order for it to work- no more playing my guitar, no more reading fiction AT ALL, etc. Anyway, yours was a good reminder of how I have strayed. I'm glad you like your job. You are very fortunate.
But I have written way too much already. Gracias, all. Any more advice anyone else has (or commiseration), I will gladly take!
because of time commitments.
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