Douglas Adams.
My favourite author too.
here's my writing:
My facebook "about me" page
Hi my name is SHrub. I live in the Orion Nebula. I'm here on an extended holiday, but was mistakenly thought to be a High School Student and was treated as such. Currently, I'm being held here against my own will and have been receiving daily reminders that if I do attempt escape, they will remove my antennae in a most unpleasant manner.
If you do see me, please no flash photography, I am allergic.
The "About the Author" page in my New Autobiography:
Shrub currently lives in The United States with his mother. He enjoys recycling and denying friend requests. On the weekends, he occasionally visits his acquaintances. His works have been featured on many public radio stations as well as on The BBC.
My anger at me missing the Transit of Venus:
The Transit of Venus has eluded me today, thanks to the great villain of astronomy, Cloud Cover. Cloud Cover has pestered me in the past, but this...this is inexcusable. It has caused me to miss a once in a lifetime event! And so, if there isn't a sudden breakthrough in medicine that will extend my life up until 2117, I shall officially launch my vendetta against Cloud Cover. My previous vendetta against the Ocean will not be broken, because if I can eliminate the Ocean, Cloud Cover will die too. Two birds, one stone thing. But nevertheless, Cloud Cover will rue the day he decided to condense on the evening of June 5th, 2012! For one hundred years the skies over the Northern Virginia Area will not be tainted by his wretched opaqueness!
I found extra CAT5 cables:
Today, My friends, I will make History. I will attempt to download the entire Internet into my mind. Imagine, the wealth of knowledge and benefits one could obtain from this. From the fields of Information that is Wikipedia, to being able to preform a Google search in less than a nanosecond. But what is the real reason for why I am doing this?
Reddit, /b/ and lolcats. Mainly lolcats.