I have nothing to converse with people about.

[ProxyAmenRa]

The act of conversational interaction requires topics of conversation. I have ran out of topics of conversation.

 

[Lostwitheal]

You're just not looking hard enough. Use the N, Luke.

Random questions are a good way forward. For example, what is your opinion on odd socks?

 

[xbox]

I have nothing to say either, mate.

 

[Jesse]

My major malfunction. We should get together and have the most awkward conversation ever.

 

[Lostwitheal]

INTP convention.

Pick a city and a date.

 

[digital angel]

I understand. Have you looked at online newspapers for topics? Sometimes I look at online newspapers for topics for discussion.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

I think I should just avoid people for a while. This would enable me to have more content when I eventually strike a conversation.

 

[dark]

It is an odd thing. I think it is less about having topics than it is being able to actually connect with the person you are talking with.

In my area, I am alien, I can attempt conversations, but no one really wants to speak about things that NTPs would talk about.

This is the main reason for my shyness, since I was a child, I never fit in, is that the same for you INTPs? Do NTPs just not fit in at all with 'normal' people?

One of my friends told me that I make others feel intimidated without any effort on my part, it is not like I try to make people feel inferior, but I was told it is how I say things and how I arrange my words that does it, is this anyone else problem?

 

[Bird]

Sometimes I skype with Melllvar. It's mostly me
sitting there silently.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Is Se the most simplistic conversation initiator, compared to Ne, Fe and Te?

 

[xbox]

Yeah I'm clearly pretty bad at it, but I dont really care, but I do wonder what makes people talkative. ^

 

[digital angel]

It is an odd thing. I think it is less about having topics than it is being able to actually connect with the person you are talking with.

In my area, I am alien, I can attempt conversations, but no one really wants to speak about things that NTPs would talk about.

This is the main reason for my shyness, since I was a child, I never fit in, is that the same for you INTPs? Do NTPs just not fit in at all with 'normal' people?

One of my friends told me that I make others feel intimidated without any effort on my part, it is not like I try to make people feel inferior, but I was told it is how I say things and how I arrange my words that does it, is this anyone else problem?

It's probably safe to say that most INTPs have awkward moments and don't fit in in all situations. Try to keep in mind that there are situations where we do fit in. For example, we fit in here.

As another example, I have colleagues that I know I can have good conversations with. I'm sure there are legal professionals out there who might think I'm strange; perhaps I am. After all, I'm a tax attorney.

Remember, we represent a small percentage of personalities out there. Also, remember, to each his or her own.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Fe might be the best overall social tool, Ne seems like it would be great for analyzing an individual on a deeper level ...just guessing

Te works well for objectifying anything external, and organizing it

 

[dark]

The only places I have no problem at all making conversations is with professors of almost any field, even subjects I know little to nothing about. I am guessing academia is where I should stay so I can stop feeling lonely .

 

[brieze]

I just ask questions and let them do all the talking =D

 

[nanook]

i am currently rediscovering my introversion. my introverted flow of thoughts. how it works and what it manifests in the world, if i let it loose.

what makes my mind go blank is trying to emulate a different style of thinking and subconsciously assuming, that my own style is not appropriate for the situation. it mostly takes a shitload of courage to just try and be myself. to get my own flow of expression started. it often seems as unorthodox as pulling down my pants. and also just as pointless, because i can't tell in advance where it will go. because frequently, i just have no experience with how known people would react to my honest flow of thoughts and associations. but i know exactly how they will react to the stuff i emulate, when i am sort of adapting/reacting to them. and i am so used to knowing this, i feel like i have to. i fear not having that control.

 

[nanook]

@dark, yes, people can get pretty afraid of my mind, when i am not hiding it. just the fact, that a sentence of me can feel like a major software update to them, "whoops this guy just uploaded 60MB of alien software to my harddisk, it must be a virus ... what? JAVA ??? an operating system within an operating system??? is this update really necessary " (figuratively speaking. just saying. lol)

 

[AlisaD]

You could always talk about stockings. And lace.
Very good subjects, those.

 

[RobertJ]

I just ask questions and let them do all the talking =D

What kind of questions do you ask?

 

[Bird]

What kind of questions do you ask?

Spoiler

"Can I suck your cock?"

 

[RobertJ]

Spoiler

"Can I suck your cock?"

LOL. I will attest to the effectiveness of that question to capture attention and interest.

 

[Thales]

This is probably common sense, but I find I have little to talk about when I'm especially lethargic--thoughts are slower, things seem less intense, thoughts lose meaning and associations.

Believe it or not, socializing is a very cognitively demanding task, for most it seems as if it is done naturally, and obviously any skill atrophies with lack of use. But, mood can cause an effect on social skills, dampening them.

Isolation I'd think would have the vast potential to make social skills worse--you're not exposed to as much, well to things that are relevant socially.

Take this hodgepodge post for what it is.

 

[Bird]

LOL. I will attest to the effectiveness of that question to capture attention and interest.

She knows what she's doing (;

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

This is probably common sense, but I find I have little to talk about when I'm especially lethargic--thoughts are slower, things seem less intense, thoughts lose meaning and associations.

Believe it or not, socializing is a very cognitively demanding task, for most it seems as if it is done naturally, and obviously any skill atrophies with lack of use. But, mood can cause an effect on social skills, dampening them.

Isolation I'd think would have the vast potential to make social skills worse--you're not exposed to as much, well to things that are relevant socially.

Take this hodgepodge post for what it is.

I have no problems with socializing with people. The lack of topics of conversation pertain to people I know. Solution: take a break from people for a while.

 

[EditorOne]

If you say little but have a pleasant smile (sounds stupid, but you need to practice this in a mirror, otherwise you look like you have gas pains or are sneering), people eventually come to the conclusion you are intelligent.

If you say little but look miserable, people quickly decide you are arrogant, self-centered and have gas.

If you toss out a fragment of your thoughts without setting them up in context, if you bring people into your mind in the middle of the conversation you are constantly having with yourself, they'll think you are weird, crazy. And have gas. You need to say "I was just thinking about God. Ever notice he's not held accountable for this mess?" Much better than a mere announcement that "God is not accountable."

Conversation is only randomly rewarding. A lot of allegedly functioning adults still live at a junior high school level in terms of what they think is good to talk about.

 

[Jah]

Here's a good topic:

Batman vs Superman.


Extrapolate all sorts of things from that.

 

[dark]

Orgy-Porgy!

 

[Abraxas]

In the heat of a conversation I try to forget about the "me" and just live in the situation. I know, not very introverted, but worth a try.

 

[Melllvar]

I think I should just avoid people for a while. This would enable me to have more content when I eventually strike a conversation.

I honestly think this will just make you worse at it instead of better. You can't just put social relationships on hold until you have something good to tell - I mean, not if you want them to be remotely successful.

There's a limitless supply of things you can always say. Ask them questions or try and find out their opinion on anything. Share stories of weird shit. Develop crazy plans and plots. Figure out something you can do together (e.g. watch a shitty movie and MST3K it yourselves). Come up with a story or movie plot or something.

I think the key thing is humor, really. Thinking back to how I interact with the people I've spent a lot of time around, most of the conversation is just jokes, sarcasm and silliness, unless there's something serious to talk about (or even when there is). It's fun, it loosens people up, and you can make pretty much anything into a joke by taking it out of context (think of Monty Python). Aim to make people spew liquids out their nose. Like Lostwitheal said, use your N-ness more.

Random questions are a good way forward. For example, what is your opinion on odd socks?

Here's a good topic:

Batman vs Superman.

Extrapolate all sorts of things from that.

Stuff like this is good. My own contribution: Who would win in a knife fight, Clive Barker or Stephen King?

 

[Peeps999]

Converse about having nothing to converse about. If that fails then say the first word random word to pop into your head.

 

[dark]

Clive Barker of course.

 

[Melllvar]

Clive Barker of course.

Hell yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Stephen King can't handle a knife, everyone knows that.

 

[Peeps999]

Hell yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Stephen King can't handle a knife, everyone knows that.

Stephen King can handle a fucking car hitting him.

 

[Melllvar]

Stephen King can handle a fucking car hitting him.

But a car and a knife are very different, unless of course it's a knife-car.

Also I may not be basing this on objective judgment of their knife wielding abilities, but instead of personal preference for the authors and their stories.

 

[Chris11]

Stephen King can handle a fucking car hitting him.

Stephen King created Chuck Norris.

 

[Abraxas]

Stephen King created Chuck Norris.

You don't create Chuck Norris, he creates you!

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

You don't create Chuck Norris, he creates you!

I kicked Chuck Norris's ass.

 

[BigApplePi]

Sometimes I'm thrust into a situation where it is implied I should talk but haven't the vaguest idea what to say. I try to avoid such situations like the plague. Speaking of the plague will not do. Then it is best to talk about what the OTHER person wants to talk about ... then egg them on so I don't have to talk.

 

[RobertJ]

I used to care about how I'd appear in situations in which it was expected that I talk or socialize, because I'm quiet and self-contained. However, over time, I figure that if it becomes a problem, then it is not mine to bear. If I have nothing to so, I will say nothing; if I don't feel compelled to socialize, I won't socialize.

EDIT: ^ The above was written with general social scenarios in mind. More personal/deeper relationships warrant a greater effort towards communication and mutual understanding.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Sometimes I'm thrust into a situation where it is implied I should talk but haven't the vaguest idea what to say. I try to avoid such situations like the plague. Speaking of the plague will not do. Then it is best to talk about what the OTHER person wants to talk about ... then egg them on so I don't have to talk.

hahaha, I empathise with this.

 

[Melllvar]

Well, in the only serious response I made in this thread, I was thinking more of situations where you want to be talking but don't have much to say (like a 4 hour car ride or something). If you don't want to/feel like making conversation, then don't. There are plenty of people I don't want to talk to, like every idiot customer at work that wants to chat me up. I don't care about you. Leave. I want to go back to reading my book, not hear about what the traffic was like on the way here. I came back from lunch today with a warm sandwich to have a guy go into a 10 minute story about some knife he had bought, how it was supposedly from Scotland, but he didn't know for sure. Wtf? My sandwich is getting cold, asshole. I don't even know you. (Part of this is that I live in the Southern US and everyone is really friendly down here, especially older people from rural areas. It's normally quite nice, except when it's annoying.)

But that's different from avoiding people you know because you can't think of much to say, or the silences feel awkward or something, which is what it seemed like Proxy was describing.

 

[Abraxas]

I kicked Chuck Norris's ass.

Are you absolutely positive that you didn't misunderstand the whole situation. You see, in most cases where people thought they were kicking the ass of Chuck Norris, it was actually Chuck Norris giving their legs a beating with his ass.

 

[jameslikespie]

Are you absolutely positive that you didn't misunderstand the whole situation. You see, in most cases where people thought they were kicking the ass of Chuck Norris, it was actually Chuck Norris giving their legs a beating with his ass.

So what would that be called? Assing legs?

 

[Abraxas]

So what would that be called? Assing legs?

Yes, this is the correct term which was actually invented by Chuck Norris during the filming of the movie Way Of The Dragon. In this movie there was a brutal scene (at the time banned in numerous countries) where Chuck Norris relentlessly battered the limbs of late Bruce Lee, with his ass.

Spoiler

What a great way to keep up the conversation

 

[Roran]

You know, Justin Tolkiberry insulted Chuck Norris once, when he was looking for an easy fight.

 

[Zionoxis]

I too, often simply say nothing. I know this block much too well. In the end, I either repeat a conversation, or keep the conversation (or lack thereof) awkward.

 

[mainiac]

Yes indeed it is ending one moment at a time in the ever present now. That is alright with me because after this one a much better one begins! So I beleive! As far as having nothing to much to say. I know I often feel the same way. Perhaps it will pass.

 

[A22]

If you have nothing to talk about and want to talk, just do small-talk. Talk about what you do/did and hopefully the person you're talking to will bring up something about it eventually. If they don't, you do it. Jump from one topic to another, connecting'em. It's kind of automatic.

"Hey I just ate a fantastic pizza at Mamma Mia restaurant. "
"Oh I love that place"
"Have you tried their ice-cream pizza?"

 

[Jelly Rev]

If I can get my Ne to power up I can be quite a social force, its either center stage or the background for me.
An INTP trying to b an ENTP has to recharge himself a lot.

Believe it or not, socializing is a very cognitively demanding task, for most it seems as if it is done naturally, and obviously any skill atrophies with lack of use. But, mood can cause an effect on social skills, dampening them.

no, socializing takes a higher level of arousal hence less cognitive function in the sense of complex INTP thought


Yes the best way to talk as an INTP is not to talk about what is in reality but what could be in reality, create a story about something. see something moderately funny in reality and use "what if..." also for funsies I exaggerate facial expression to make sure that I actually use them.

[quoteOne of my friends told me that I make others feel intimidated without any effort on my part, it is not like I try to make people feel inferior, but I was told it is how I say things and how I arrange my words that does it, is this anyone else problem?][/quote]

seems viable, would ur friend like to elaborate? and I wonder if I make people feel that way? does knowing more about everything even the stuff they think they are good at intimidating? or maybe its the fact that no one can see me, unreadable, but I can read the core of people, so they may know that I could tear their essence in half

 

[Late2theParty]

I've had this very problem for a long time. I've definitely found that having nothing to talk about is largely an illusion. There really is an infinite amount of things to talk about with anybody. That being said... you will always enjoy talking to certain people more than others.

I find myself in two situations often.

1. I actually don't want to talk to other people / want to be by myself

2. I am in the mood to participate but I have no idea what to do and it freaks me out and I shut down. This usually leaves me feeling very dissatisfied.

It took me a while to understand both were going on at the same time. I don't really enjoy social situations all the time... but I still do want to be social sometimes. When I do...These guides I've found have helped me a lot for #2.

Super Master list of stuff to talk about / ask questions about...

http://www.bristollair.com/2008/outer-game/pua-skills/vibing-framework/

How to think about using it....

http://www.bristollair.com/2008/outer-game/pua-skills/social-vibing/

http://www.seductiontuition.com/spirit-fingers/vibing-guide.html

Try to disregard the hokey ads on the sides etc. There is a lot of good info in these.