I have been summoned.

[QuickTwist]

That look isn't caused by lack of oatmeal, it's from too many noodles! >:

Disturbingly, when one searches up "things", one of the first images google returns is this:

Spoiler

View attachment 3062 What even is it? >.>

And welcome back to topside, Cegorach!

Clearly an oven mitt.

 

[Cegorach]

*serves Ceg some nice oatmeal*

Served oatmeal. How luxurious!
Normally when I want oatmeal I vandalize the happy residence of a family of bears.
Too hot. Too cold. Never just right.

Beyond the grave no rations gallop, grow, or skitter, we cannibalize ourselves instead.
In return for oatmeal, would you like my amygdala? Flavors of flight, fright, and freeze!

Or perhaps you would prefer heavier meats?

I once knew a Cow​

As light as hydrogen, not heavy at all​

He could certainly float, but far too high​

Too close to the sun seared rare beef a crisp well-done​

​

Limb from limb, I tore apart that unwanted feast​

Hung, bottom-up, the hemorrhaging frame​

Legs and hooves cleaved from vapid flesh​

​

"Hey! You'll still need my noodle!" proclaimed the Cow's discarded head​

Reveling in pun and perversion.​

I took only the bovine's skull, horny as it was​

Fastened it to a neck of decomposing flesh.​

​

Another trophy in a collar of crowns... too many noodles​

We gaze onward with a chorus of hollow eyes​

Maybe now we'll finally float.​

Oh dear, I accidentally a poem again.
They say you suffer incontinence when you die.

Disturbingly, when one searches up "things", one of the first images google returns is this:

Spoiler

View attachment 3062 What even is it? >.>

And welcome back to topside, Cegorach!

At least you're putting your hand in the front end, duck genitalia disturbs me.
Go ahead. Put duck penis in your search history.

I'd prefer something like these to keep my cold dead hands warm:

Spoiler

Toasty!

 

[cheese]

Wow, I completely missed this thread. I can't believe how many of you fuckers are back. And not a single one of you has told me to get off your lawn yet... It's simply disgusting. It's well past time to trim lor's hedges, re-nest the garden noddys, touch up Cow's exterior with some gold sharpie, gimme a way of working 'cryptonia' into an already stretched lawn scenario, make another laboured joke about stretching lor's scenario...

(Are nesting garden gnomes a thing? They should be.)

[This year marks the 10th year since I joined. The passage of time sucks. It should really be more of a push - I'm gonna see someone about that.]

I think I'm also gonna try posting around here more often. I don't really have a place in meatspace to talk about the stuff that really matters to me. Kids just don't get it when you swear at them - they think I'm joking or something. Listen ke$habortions, my life isn't performance art. It's real fucking serious business you sloppy little faecal bratwursts...you half-baked chocolate snakes, strung up on hyperconnectivity and brung up in a world where VideoEzy, Australia's mistakenly unabashed answer to the equally defunct Blockbuster Video, no longer exists. Goddammit, don't cry! Netflix is so much better and you know it! You entitled little shits KNOW IT!

Anyway, I'm probably gonna slink off and disappear too. But I expect to see you all back when this forum goes VR. I'll be the one who's there.

 

[Cegorach]

Wow, I completely missed this thread. I can't believe how many of you fuckers are back. And not a single one of you has told me to get off your lawn yet... It's simply disgusting. It's well past time to trim lor's hedges, re-nest the garden noddys, touch up Cow's exterior with some gold sharpie, gimme a way of working 'cryptonia' into an already stretched lawn scenario, make another laboured joke about stretching lor's scenario...

(Are nesting garden gnomes a thing? They should be.)

Oh. I'm not sure how I feel about having my exterior touched up.
The gold will just transmute anyway. So many colours, I'm a polychromatic alchemist, I mix them all together; why does everything always turn out brown?

Nesting garden gnomes are definitely a thing, but maybe not in the way you hoped.

You can find them chattering in the forum gardens; if you do eventually decide to get off of our lawn you can converse with them, or hunt them for sport, whichever suits you.
You can find fruit hidden in the garden orchards too, you know. Taste one and your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as God, knowing good and knowing evil.

 

[loveofreason]

So happy to see how the tone of this thread has evolved, I'm quite envious of the talent displayed and shall plagiarise said talent in my future endeavours to communicate with ...humans.

At least you're putting your hand in the front end, duck genitalia disturbs me.
Go ahead. Put duck penis in your search history.

I shan't. I won't. I never have.

*cries*

Wow, I completely missed this thread. I can't believe how many of you fuckers are back. And not a single one of you has told me to get off your lawn yet... It's simply disgusting. It's well past time to trim lor's hedges, re-nest the garden noddys, touch up Cow's exterior with some gold sharpie, gimme a way of working 'cryptonia' into an already stretched lawn scenario, make another laboured joke about stretching lor's scenario...

(Are nesting garden gnomes a thing? They should be.)

[This year marks the 10th year since I joined. The passage of time sucks. It should really be more of a push - I'm gonna see someone about that.]

I think I'm also gonna try posting around here more often. I don't really have a place in meatspace to talk about the stuff that really matters to me. Kids just don't get it when you swear at them - they think I'm joking or something. Listen ke$habortions, my life isn't performance art. It's real fucking serious business you sloppy little faecal bratwursts...you half-baked chocolate snakes, strung up on hyperconnectivity and brung up in a world where VideoEzy, Australia's mistakenly unabashed answer to the equally defunct Blockbuster Video, no longer exists. Goddammit, don't cry! Netflix is so much better and you know it! You entitled little shits KNOW IT!

Anyway, I'm probably gonna slink off and disappear too. But I expect to see you all back when this forum goes VR. I'll be the one who's there.

I'm here cheese, my dear cheese. Shall I join you in bewailing our loss, as sands drawn into the tide of noughty-something entitlement-ees, to be cast back up upon some disconnected piece of shore; reduced, unremarked, disconsolate, bereft, un-hyper. How did it come to this? Swallowed alive by snap-brats and spewed into the stormwater-outfall of life. Push-me pull-you. Imaginary beasts, we are lost.

Cheese? How did I never notice? What is cheese, if not the curdled, mouldy secretion of the bovine lymphatic system? The All Knowing Cow, stretched across the heavens, heels in the sky, civilization knelt at the teats of her udder. Here we go again.

When are we? I'm lost.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

@Polaris ! You're still alive. Too many feels. You people are horrible.

That's it. If one more old-timer pops up, I'm making a Senior Party Thread.

Strange timing, all around. My reappearance has nothing to do with any of these other reappearances. I promise.​

Every time I come back here I remember that I have absolutely nothing useful to contribute. My brain is a wasteland of broken thoughts and opinions.

Anti-contributions are still contributions. ... Right?​

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Scared?
Comforted?
Disappointed that you are all still alive?

I feel like I'm supposed to feel something. Does that in itself count as a feeling?

I still have my old avatar, that makes me feel something. I should probably stop before someone comes in and catches me though.

 

[QuickTwist]

Scared?
Comforted?
Disappointed that you are all still alive?

I feel like I'm supposed to feel something. Does that in itself count as a feeling?

I still have my old avatar, that makes me feel something. I should probably stop before someone comes in and catches me though.

OMG, I actually thought you were dead, LOL.

 

[redbaron]

not even death wants to deal with IB

 

[QuickTwist]

Let's see here...

@nanook, @EyeSeeCold, @Architect

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

not even death wants to deal with IB

Being an insufferable turd is the key to immortality.

 

[redbaron]

Being an insufferable turd is the key to immortality.

no wonder people are always telling me i look young for my age

 

[Jennywocky]

no wonder people are always telling me i look young for my age

maybe "still fresh/aromatic" is the better phrase here....