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I have been summoned.

Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#1
Cognisant sacrificed ten kittens and drank the blood of a leprous goat to raise me from the dead. Now what the fuck do you want Coggy?

While I was gone, I verified the universe is indeed meaningless, however, contrary to my previously held position, I now know that you and I are beautiful and unique snowflakes. And like snowflakes, we are destined to melt into utter oblivion, forgotten for all time.

So yeah, it's nice to be back. If only for a moment!
 

Kuu

Galactic God-Emperor
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
3,375
Location
The sea of stars
#2
:walkout:

I confess I thought about summoning you too, perhaps cog heard me talking in my sleep.

What do you mean only for a moment? You think you have any place better to be?
 

Auburn

Luftschloss Schöpfer
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,289
#3
oh dear god (oh right, there is no god),

we had to replace the carpet, walls, and furniture after the way you and melkor left it!

keep it clean this time :viking:
it still has that new plastic smell
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#4
I'm fond of this place, but I spend so much time burning churches and undermining my own government, that time is a precious commodity.

And Auburn, don't look in the corner. This place has been remodeled and I no longer know where the toilet is.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
7,635
#5
Speaking of the dark lord does anyone have any more goats, I'm fresh out.
 

Animekitty

World A.I. transfomantion is Near
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
5,315
Location
4D Archaeology computer grid
#6
Cognisant sacrificed ten kittens
I hope one of those kittens wasn't me.
But in any event, the quantum 9 live device test was successful.
I have had my conscience entanglements transferred from cogs black heart neutrino ray kitten disintegrator to the 2027 internet quantum Wayback machine and back to INTP forum. 4 hours 45-minute subjective time as planned. 2027 was fun to revisit. but I am still needed in this time period. Don't worry kids, the other kittens are safe too. Blackheart rays can never destroy consciousness, only reverse the direction. That is why no idiots came from the past to the future and I cam from the future to the past.
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#11
I've been waiting for this day. The day your vile blue foetid corpse would float out of the sewers and I call to all the children, "look lambs, look what becomes of god's sinners; of those wretched souls that reject the light of our savior and instead follow their wicked desires down deep into the bowels of the earth, feeding on the maggoty, impassioned tissues of yesterday's toss, groaning in delight at the soapy wisps of teen hair that clog the drains of human decency! Watch this haunted maggot writhe and grasp for forgiveness as I bestow the kiss of grace upon him, setting his spirit free from dominion of the - ! "

Wait, I ain't kissing this blue toad, not for anything.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
7,635
#12
Thank Satan, I was running out of orphans.

How have you been Lor, in fact where have you been?
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#13
I've been waiting for this day. The day your vile blue foetid corpse would float out of the sewers and I call to all the children, "look lambs, look what becomes of god's sinners; of those wretched souls that reject the light of our savior and instead follow their wicked desires down deep into the bowels of the earth, feeding on the maggoty, impassioned tissues of yesterday's toss, groaning in delight at the soapy wisps of teen hair that clog the drains of human decency! Watch this haunted maggot writhe and grasp for forgiveness as I bestow the kiss of grace upon him, setting his spirit free from dominion of the - ! "

Wait, I ain't kissing this blue toad, not for anything.
Cara Mia! God, I've missed you.

*Grabs lor by the waist from behind and licks the side of her face, popping all the pustules on her cheek and tonguing the pus as if savoring the sweetest of chocolate sauces.
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#14
Hey Cog!

I've been somewhere between the 40th and 43rd parallels most of the time. Living my nightmares. I think I just woke up.

Hey, you know how you kept saying I'm an INFP? I'm an INFP.
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#15
Cara Mia! God, I've missed you.

*Grabs lor by the waist from behind and licks the side of her face, popping all the pustules on her cheek and tonguing the pus as if savoring the sweetest of chocolate sauces.
Noddy, you sly old fox you! You know the necrotic lesions are contagious, don't you?
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#17
Suddenly I feel less.. special. You only ever wanted me for my leprous lesions!

*throws a jagged, open tin of cold baked beans at Noddy and runs, no, limps away in tears.*
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,595
Location
Charn
#19
what is this, the blurred demarcation between dreams and the dead that can drive a person to irreducible madness? you were both gone for so long... :( *butterscotch tears*
 
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Kuu

Galactic God-Emperor
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
3,375
Location
The sea of stars
#22
Are you people trying to kill me with nostalgia? Because it's not going to work!
:hoplite_sword_kill:
 

loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#23
Silly Kuu. Why simply kill when you can keep someone lingering in torment on the threshold between hope and oblivion?

what is this, the blurred demarcation between dreams and the dead that can drive a person to irreducible madness? you were both gone for so long... :( *butterscotch tears*
Hussy! You just want Noddy to lick /your/ face!

Is it still violation if it's consensual?
I'm pretty sure Noddy's goats are all below the age of informed consent. He likes it like that.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,595
Location
Charn
#24
Hussy! You just want Noddy to lick /your/ face!
Butter and scotch -- two great tastes that go great together.
Especially when they are on my face.

*pours dark chocolate sauce on head, followed by what's left in the whipped cream cannister*

It's Wednesday... but Sundae's a'comin' !
 
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loveofreason

echoes through time
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
5,504
#25
So where do we stick the candles?
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#30
Here's how I like my goats:

No older than two, dipped in vaseline, hindquarters shaved, front quarters dyed blue, wearing a spiked dog collar, slowly bleeding out from two or three one inch incisions in the belly, wearing a pink pompadour, and sporting Groucho Marx glasses.

Also, I usually sew their mouths shut so they don't eat the pompadour.

I wrote an article about it called "Goat Fucking 101," but Barnyard Weekly insists they're not that kind of magazine.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,595
Location
Charn
#31
If they were more committed to that lifestyle, they'd be called Barnyard Daily.
 

fullerene

Prolific Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
2,159
#33
what?! cryptonia too? D:
it's like a senior party
In all honesty... I haven't checked this place in years. An old friend told me noddy made a thread, and I wanted to see how he'd been. Was wondering if he didn't take care of all his oppressors in the traditional Texan fashion.

....don't let me interrupt this debauchery. God I know I'll never be that funny, and I'd just embarrass myself by trying
 

Adaire

Madspinistrator
Joined
Apr 3, 2009
Messages
3,449
#34
Night of the living intpf dead.
What foul magick could have stirred these decrepit corpses.

Oh wait. T'was mine. :raven04:
 

NoID10ts

aka Noddy
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#35
In all honesty... I haven't checked this place in years. An old friend told me noddy made a thread, and I wanted to see how he'd been. Was wondering if he didn'
In all honesty... I haven't checked this place in years. An old friend told me noddy made a thread, and I wanted to see how he'd been. Was wondering if he didn't take care of all his oppressors in the traditional Texan fashion.

....don't let me interrupt this debauchery. God I know I'll never be that funny, and I'd just embarrass myself by trying
What's up, man? I haven't shot anyone yet. I'm staying medicated these days. I'm done with the church bullshit and everyone I know and love has either accepted it or moved on. All is well. Sort of.

How have you been?
 

fullerene

Prolific Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
2,159
#37
I'm staying medicated these days
Obligatory song:

I'm done with the church bullshit and everyone I know and love has either accepted it or moved on
You and me both, actually :x. I've seen too much shit to go full atheist, but the world just makes so much more sense without a lot of that Christian worldview. I'm generally happier afterdiscarding a few of those pesky absolute morals, too.

In all honesty: just hearing from you makes me glad that my transition took place in California and not Texas :D.

How have you been?
Living, working, loving. Listening to too much politics, and an appropriately large number of podcasts. Yourself?
 

Auburn

Luftschloss Schöpfer
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,289
#39
while you guys hav been away adaire has gone soft, melkor's been kidnapped, cog still hasn't built his robot waifu, hitler meow has risen to power, global warming is swiftly under way and my ramen has gone cold!

what do u have to say for yourselves?
 
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0neKiwi

Unstable
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
Messages
92
Location
(this universe)
#40
hitler meow has risen to power
Who's that?
But I honestly think this emoji's kind of cute: :nazi:

What's with the sudden revivals?:kodama1:
Is it some special day time?

Or perhaps the zombie apocalypse has finally arrived...

Hmm...not 2/29
 

NoID10ts

aka Noddy
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#41
Living, working, loving. Listening to too much politics, and an appropriately large number of podcasts. Yourself?
Same job which is becoming increasingly tiresome. Like our country, our education system is broken. My oldest graduates high school in three months so I guess that means I'm well on my way to becoming a senile old fuck.
 

Melkor

*Silent antagonist*
Joined
Apr 16, 2008
Messages
5,764
Location
Béal feirste
#43
ALRIGHT!
CAN YOU SELFISH, GORMLESS, EGOCENTRIC BASTARDS JUST LEAVE IT ALONE FOR A MINUTE AND FOCUS ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT?

ME!!!!!!!!!

I'VE BEEN FENDING FOR MYSELF ALL THESE YEARS.
COOKING-CLEANING-WORKING THE STREETS.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW NEGLECTFUL YOU'VE BEEN!?
YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST A COURT IN THE LAND.


HAH.

SEE YOU IN PRISON YOU GOBSHITES!!!!



Also please replace all my toys and clothes, I've eaten most of them in your absence.
 

NoID10ts

aka Noddy
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
4,549
Location
Houston, TX
#44
ALRIGHT!
CAN YOU SELFISH, GORMLESS, EGOCENTRIC BASTARDS JUST LEAVE IT ALONE FOR A MINUTE AND FOCUS ON WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT?

ME!!!!!!!!!

I'VE BEEN FENDING FOR MYSELF ALL THESE YEARS.
COOKING-CLEANING-WORKING THE STREETS.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW NEGLECTFUL YOU'VE BEEN!?
YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST A COURT IN THE LAND.


HAH.

SEE YOU IN PRISON YOU GOBSHITES!!!!



Also please replace all my toys and clothes, I've eaten most of them in your absence.
Meh.
 

Cognisant

Condescending Bastard
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
7,635
#46
Yaaaay Melly's back!

Have a black trench coat with studs and too many straps and buckles, because you can never have too many straps and buckles.
 

Melkor

*Silent antagonist*
Joined
Apr 16, 2008
Messages
5,764
Location
Béal feirste
#47
Kidding. MELKOR! I thought you were dead.
I probably deserve to be with all the mundane yet frequent acts of evil I've been doing.
I think if I drop jam on the carpet or scowl at strangers on the bus just a FEW more times I'll have banked enough evil to be the equivalent of burning down a small yet very hopeful orphanage.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN YA GREAT BLUE LUMMOX.
Did you escape all your kids yet? Do you have more?
Did you even have kids?
I forget.

Yaaaay Melly's back!

Have a black trench coat with studs and too many straps and buckles, because you can never have too many straps and buckles.
Aw yeahhh. After so many years of posing as Cloud I can finally evolve into Sephiroth.
Time to hit the gym I suppose. -__-
 

Auburn

Luftschloss Schöpfer
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
Messages
2,289
#48
Aw yeahhh. After so many years of posing as Cloud I can finally evolve into Sephiroth.
Time to hit the gym I suppose. -__-
So is That the next evolution form?? Like pokemon?
I vote this as melk's new avvy and to mark his entry into man-hood:
sephiroth_by_dw3girl.jpg
 

Melkor

*Silent antagonist*
Joined
Apr 16, 2008
Messages
5,764
Location
Béal feirste
#50
So is That the next evolution form?? Like pokemon?
I vote this as melk's new avvy and to mark his entry into man-hood:
View attachment 3018
E-eww!
EVEN NOW I AM REPELLED BY HIS FORM.

*Clutches his head with a pained expression*

GET OUT OF MY BRAINNNNNN.

Welcome back Morgoth, herald of darkness.


final form is Jenova. :chocor:

Also hi Adaire.
Did you get over your quiet inner rage yet? owo
 
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