How often do you socialize?

[Ink]

Is our need to socialize really different than other types?

 

[Melkor]

That's a big and very vague question. What is 'socialising' defined as?

If it's going out with friends casually then probably once every three months, if it's speaking with someone you're familiar with then every day of my life.

 

[Etheri]

During schooltimes : Twice a week? (Actual doing stuff with friends, even if just talking and stuff. Not including the time i spend with them in class / dinner between classes etc.)

During holidays, once every week ~ two weeks. Going home once every month aswell.

 

[Cognisant]

I try to start a socialist revolution about once a week.

 

[intpz]

Unfortunately I have to every day, as I don't live alone. Going out with somebody, every couple months.

Assuming I live alone: going out every couple months as well, but no daily socialization, instead home alone, doing what I want, how I want: using keyboard, mouse, gadgets and sometimes tools on the hardware.

 

[skip]

It really varies. I enjoy socializing but it depends on who, where and how. I usually like a dinner party with the right people for a short time. I can do a short trail ride with one other person, or a long trail ride in a group where I can hang back and just enjoy the ride without having to do a lot of chitchat. At church I never socialize at all: religion and worship are intensely personal things for me and I'm often uncomfortable participating in them as part of a group.

I once or twice a week seems to be my maximum. Sometimes I go two weeks or more without socializing with anyone in particular if I feel drained and need to recharge after something intense, like a horse show. In an extended period of needed down time I might even avoid checking my phone messages (but not my email).

 

[toastedtruth]

Most of the people in my class are of the NT temperament I take it, so we get on reasonably well and socialise frequently. Sometimes I do need my own personal space, and that's when they tend to tag along. A bit annoying but I can often make room for one more.

 

[Particle]

I don't socialize very often. I go weeks without anything outside of work. I don't value my alone time until I don't have any, either. I remember always wanting to get away to a deserted island when I was in school. Now in the real world I'm just bored.

 

[Architect]

Not often, and often. I socialize at work every day for a half hour or so. Every day with my family for sure. My extended family maybe once a month or so. I don't maintain a lot of adult 'socializing friends', but we do that infrequently, a few times a year say.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Too often.

 

[intpz]

Too often.

The socialize less, what's the problem?

 

[Puffy]

Most seem to be defining socialising as some kind of event, like maybe being with the same people for a few hours or more. (?)

I'm coming closer to defining myself as an extrovert. Now that I'm currently employed full-time my ideal pattern is to keep to myself monday-friday and then spend most of the weekend with friends.

I can't do that going solo thing for tooo long. Depends how interested I am in whatever project I have.

 

[Lot]

I go to church once a week so that would be a form of socializing. I hang out with a friend or two once or twice during the week. I'm forced to talk with people while I deliver pizza 4 days a week, but I don't mind talking with a few coworkers. I decided, after a recent event, that I want to get out and meet some girls, so I'll probably find time to socialize that way, as well.

But some times I go weeks with as minimal contact with other as I can. Other times I feel the need to be with other people everyday of the week. During the times when I don't want to see people, I still talk to friends over the internet.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

 

[Minuend]

Well, as an ENFP, I guess if I have friends nearby, I might get drunk with them once a week.

I do have a very pronounced need to be alone at times, so that my mind isn't constantly distracted by other presences moving around and talking. There's nothing quite like the complete absence of people.

I vividly enjoy visiting friends far away and staying with them for some time, but afterwards I need some alone time to recharge.

Hmm, I don't think I ever feel lonely. Some time ago I went like a year and a half seeing my friend once or twice, but I never really felt lonely. Though, I do have very good friends online, so I guess that hinders loneliness.

Edit: Of course, if we count work, I socialize every day for at least one hour.

 

[mu is mu]

Re: How often do you socialize?

My chief source of social interaction is my job, and considering that many of my coworkers are ESTPs I get a fairly good amount of it. At school I can go for an entire day without saying one word to anyone, and will usually only speak whenever I or someone else has questions regarding assignments or whenever a professor asks a question that no one answers. At home I'll occasionally talk to my mom and dad, although I'm usually mute and occupied with some task.

But other than these obligations, I currently don't designate any time in my life for social interaction. I suppose you could include my rare participation in this forum as a form of social interaction, though.

Is our need to socialize really different than other types?

I personally think that it is. I think that INTJs and INTPs may need the least amount of social interaction of all the types. In relation to this, on another site (http://similarminds.com/jung/intj.html) I read this description of INTJs which is also found on the INTP page:

"More interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family"

Contrarily, I would probably be much, much more outgoing if there was a larger percentage of NTs in the general population. Of course, this simply attests to the type of social interaction that NTs do desire, which the average Sensor is, apparently, usually not interested in participating in.

 

[Architect]

My chief source of social interaction is my job ...
But other than these obligations, I currently don't designate any time in my life for social interaction. ... I think that INTJs and INTPs may need the least amount of social interaction of all the types.
...
"More interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family"
...
Contrarily, I would probably be much, much more outgoing if there was a larger percentage of NTs in the general population.

This perfectly sums it up.

 

[Intellect]

I socialize pretty regularly. I try to spend time with friend at least once a week and, depending on my mood, I'll sometimes chat with people on public transportation or when I'm line at a store.

I definitely agree that I would be more social if there were more NTs. I can only take so much conversation that's not thought provoking or that personally interests me.

I also just like being left alone a lot of the time. Girls I've dated in the past have often been annoyed because sometimes I'll just shut my phone off and spend a couple days by myself. Socializing just drains me after a certain point.

 

[Bhagavat]

30 minutes to an hour a day, I think would be my average.

 

[intpz]

I socialize pretty regularly. I try to spend time with friend at least once a week and, depending on my mood, I'll sometimes chat with people on public transportation or when I'm line at a store.

I definitely agree that I would be more social if there were more NTs. I can only take so much conversation that's not thought provoking or that personally interests me.

I also just like being left alone a lot of the time. Girls I've dated in the past have often been annoyed because sometimes I'll just shut my phone off and spend a couple days by myself. Socializing just drains me after a certain point.

What do you say? "Excuse me, sir, do you believe in god? What is your opinion on Einstein's work and current controversy about some of his theories? Do you think apocalypse will happen sometime soon?"

 

[Intellect]

What do you say? "Excuse me, sir, do you believe in god? What is your opinion on Einstein's work and current controversy about some of his theories? Do you think apocalypse will happen sometime soon?"

Haha, I know. Unacceptable, right?

Growing up, I was extremely shy and when I got to high school I wanted to fix that side of my personality. I like being a well rounded and capable person. That extends to my social side, even if it's draining sometimes.

 

[Architect]

Growing up, I was extremely shy and when I got to high school I wanted to fix that side of my personality. I like being a well rounded and capable person. That extends to my social side, even if it's draining sometimes.

I got tired of being well rounded some years ago.

 

[SMO]

Normally once or twice a month, I put up a lot of resistance to going out or entertaining, but normally have a pretty good time once I get past that.

 

[Dr. Freeman]

As often as it takes to keep my roommates doing the cleaning.

 

[intpz]

Haha, I know. Unacceptable, right?

Growing up, I was extremely shy and when I got to high school I wanted to fix that side of my personality. I like being a well rounded and capable person. That extends to my social side, even if it's draining sometimes.

Unacceptable? Do what you want, I don't care, as long as you don't start a conversation with me in the line.

Draining? It's annoying, not draining. To me anyway. Give me an intellectual conversation, not some smalltalk bullshit and we can talk for hours.

 

[Atheist]

If socializing means hanging out with a bunch of emotionally draining, sensitive, and needy individuals, NO.

 

[Bhagavat]

If socializing means hanging out with a bunch of emotionally draining, sensitive, and needy individuals, NO.

A valid definition of socialization could very well encompass spending time on this forum. Regardless, I'm sorry for your experiences of socialization if they produced such a negative mindset. Me and my friends discuss philosophy and mock society. An intellectual respect can substitute neediness as the attracting force of social functions.

 

[BridgeOfSighs]

Fortunately for me, much of my socializing revolves around drinking. The alcohol makes me more social. This happens on every major holiday with my immediate family and make 1-3 times a month with people who call me their friend.

I socialize with my boyfriend everyday, but that doesn't really count seeing as I live with him and things would get weird if suddenly stopped talking. I also have another roommate who I have to talk to sometimes, and I play nice with the occasional girl he brings home.

Other than this I really try and go out of my way not to talk to people. Minus virtual encounters...but do those really count?

 

[Dapper Dan]

Assuming that talking on skype while playing video games counts, then I socialize just about every day for maybe 4 hours. Usually more on weekends. Today (well, yesterday) was probably more than 8 hours.

 

[PmjPmj]

I have a rota system in place for my friends - I typically see them at set times on set days, leaving a certain amount of flexibility for P types (I suggest a rough date / time and go from there).

All in all, I'd say I socialise quite a lot; I see my close friends almost every week. Typically, I'll fit anywhere between 3 - 6 social excursions per week into my schedule. The busier weeks prove too much, however. If I do not get at least one night in every three to myself, I begin to get run down and somewhat petulant about needing "Me time".

I used to think I was a P type, strangely.

 

[H1N1]

I get paid to socialize. I go and sit in the bathroom for long periods of time. It's very taxing but at the end of the day I get to go home and rejuvenate with my cats. I socialize roughly 50 hours a week. Once a month or so I will go out and socialize in a setting where I am not being paid to do so.

 

[intpz]

Are you a stripper?

 

[H1N1]

Are you a stripper?

Typically drug addicted females are strippers. I am not a drug addicted female.

 

[intpz]

Maybe you're a drug addicted male, or drug non-addicted stripper, or drug non-addicted male, or drug-addicted transsexual, or drug non-addicted transsexual, that is also a stripper?

 

[H1N1]

Okay. No. I'm not a stripper. That's a very unsafe environment.

 

[Duxwing]

Let me guess, you're a social worker.

-Duxwing

 

[intpz]

Social worker, that'd SUCK ASS BADLY. Would never wanna be one, and if I was, a lot of people would get angry.

 

[FlowerThug]

Not enough. I have a friend I hang out with once or twice a month, but other than that, talking to co-workers at work, and sometimes I text talk with friends I've never met.

 

[doncarlzone]

Apart from work, then approximately 6-8 times a month. I am usually open to socialize on Fridays and Saturdays, the rest of the days I prefer to have for myself.

 

[Architect]

I get paid to socialize. I go and sit in the bathroom for long periods of time. It's very taxing but at the end of the day I get to go home and rejuvenate with my cats. I socialize roughly 50 hours a week. Once a month or so I will go out and socialize in a setting where I am not being paid to do so.

One of those "pee ladies" (or "pee men") in Germany? They sit by the bathrooms to collect change, presumably for using it?

I never understood that custom.

 

[Vrecknidj]

This fall I'm teaching 5 university classes, serving as a union organizer, working as I always do in the RPG publishing field, doing consultation work, and serving as a camp director.

The camp director job, outside of summer, requires almost no socializing (unless email counts, and there are times when I'd say it does, but here I'm going to say no).

The editing work I do for a publisher requires relatively constant interaction with my publisher, layout artists and contributors. But, this is all done via email (so in this case I'm going to say email does count as socializing). However, this email socializing is low-stress as I can manage it to my liking.

The consultation work requires one, big monthly meeting for 3 hours, except for September and March when I have several 3-hour meetings, and October when I have an additional 6-hour meeting. Those aren't socializing though, it's all work, it requires teamwork, everyone treats it that way, and there's no idle chatter. It is pure business, which is perfect.

The union organizer job sometimes requires extensive socializing, including "schmoozing" at social events, dinners, lunches, drinks, all the sorts of things that make introverts crazy. I do as little of this for the union as possible, and do as much behind-the-scenes work (managing data, emailing members, etc.) as possible. But, this does require false smiles and handshakes and all of that.

Teaching requires many hours every week of standing up before dozens of students (my class sizes presently are: 1, 13, 25, 47, and 88). In general, I'm an expert on these topics, the students see me in that role, and everything proceeds under my direction. However, of course, there are moments, like office hours, that require me to play a role that requires socializing.

And, while all of this takes between 65 and 85 hours every week, I do, sometimes, do something other than sleep when I'm not at work. I try, whenever possible, to make sure that this other stuff consists of sitting or at least being left alone. Sadly, I cannot always accomplish this.

 

[yuri-g]

Apart from work and school I "socialize" 2-3 times a week, but mostly with a close circle of friends that I actually have things in common with. I don't enjoy mingling around with strangers and doing the small talk. It's impossible for me to hide my boredom. But with the right people and the right environment socializing can actually give me more energy. As long as I know I can be alone afterwards.

 

[SriLanka]

Arrrg...I only socialize when I have to. Sometimes I want to...then I rethink it and realize the ones I am trying to socialize with will never match up to what I really need in a friend...so let's not torture ourselves by pretending there will be something more. I always feel like I am trying too hard to get the attention of someone who really isn't paying any attention anyway.

When I do get the right match...I feel a stress from it. It is so rare that people get me. So, I am unable to read if it is really a real connection or not. I mostly get disappointed when I really don't want to be.

 

[VII]

Socializing for me usually consists of being around people but rarely interact with them. I suppose my idea of socializing is watching other people socializing.
However depending on who I'm with I can be the life of the party and initiate conversation etc.. with others. But more often than not I am socially satisfied with just observing.

In fact I treasure the sort of socializing when your with someone but don't have to actually interact with them.

Be alone together, that's my motto.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

You mean plain old interaction or purposeful socializing?

I have three close friends.... to be honest, more like 2.... one of them is more or less a consequence of the other two. Any way, I see them randomly throughout the week. 1 lives in the same apartment complex as I, so we see each other to go running a few times a week and to hang out and chit chat another few times. The others I see less often and only sparingly.
When these friends invite me to some function held by another associate or friend of theirs, I usually try to avoid going unless it absolutely fits my schedule and I can't imagine wanting to do anything else. I don't really care for parties, clubs or other large gatherings of people at night especially. But then again, I hate parades. Although I love festivals (Seafood, Music, Beer, Renaissance, etc. )

At work I don't speak to very many people. I try to express through my disposition, that I'm here to work and keep it cordial and short. I don't like having long-winded personal conversations with people here.... lots of narrow minded people....

 

[Puffy]

Okay, now I'm a student again. Things are a bit different. I only have 6 contact hours a week, otherwise, as I'm a humanities student, all I do is read.

I enjoy reading but I effectively get my solitary time from my work, so socialising time becomes nourishing where that was before. Been catching up with aquaintances, seeing friends, or going to events to meet new people near enough every/ other day as a result.

INTPf shame.

Though I've been changing a little bit over the last year anyway. I still get a bit of anxiety going into new social situations, but I have more of a drive to.

 

[Ganpot]

I spend as little time socializing in real life as possible. I'm better on forums (I can take my time with responses), but I have no idea how people rack up thousands of posts.

 

[Ionosphere]

I don't feel a compulsive need to socialize at all. I talk to people when I have something to say, I never have a conversation that lasts for more than 5 minutes that isn't on something scientific, philosophical, political or in some other way involves deep thought. I'm not certain if this is normal or not for INTPs but I can have very deep and articulate conversations to myself, and I enjoy them more than conversations with all but a very few people or types of people.

 

[themirror]

Often. I usually spend around 3-4 hours daily hanging out with friends and on some weekends I spend 12 hours straight with them.

It's painful for me to meet new people or engage in pointless conversation, so I pick my friends wisely or abruptly leave a setting in which I am not receiving any sort of mental stimulation.

Other times, I feel much more solitary and can spend a whole week doing my own thing and needing quiet.

 

[Niclmaki]

More than I like to.
Less than I should. (according to friends / family)