what i mean is, in my experience, boys in 5th or 7th grade, who escape from peers, by hanging out with teachers have no ideal of becoming a young man who gets anywhere (late bloomers, remember), they want to remain within the 3rd grade vibe of church choir, so they hang out with old teachers, who support conformist vibes.
if you have a pride called "find my own way" your self confidence wasn't even broken and how would you not find a way to mix with peers anyway? if you can make waves, your confidence was not broken either. looking at your normal career, i doubt that your connection with peers was ever interrupted. you may be slightly less YOLO, but that's no issue, just your type.
here is one example of late blooming
15 first ejaculation
17 still no hairs on chest, inverted soft nipples, doesn't dare to show up in sports.
18 first thee beard hairs pop out between akne, classmates joke about it, then wander off to have their usual threesomes.
19 gets drunk for the first time. on a party. peers have to carry him to his hotel room. can't remember a thing.
24 he almost looks male, shoulders are fully grown out, has enough reflective sense of identity, to form a romantic relationship, to have a way of mirroring the identity of a girl. actually talking to one, not just writing desperate egocentric love letters. finds a girl with weak identity (borderline) in a social phobic self help group. any stable girl would ignore him, because he still has little clue of who he is.
28 slight willingness to risk one's life for the sake of self actualization, such as is involved when other kids move out from home at 16, taking entheogens, facing death, etc, becoming a hippy.
35 slight understanding, that real foresight or planing or responsibility is somehow required
another example:
same physical development as above, but different psychological attitude.
at 14 he stops peing into his bed at night. at 16 decides to gives up on personality development, because it seems so futile (he looks like a blobfish anyway), and begins to imitate conservative robots instead. is good enough at school to become something intellectual, for which no personality skills are needed. programmer or doctor or something. works 10 hours. age 24: has own place and lots of money and finds a grey mice type girl who looks for stability. can provide her with a house. she marries him. age 28 clueless father. tries to go through all the movements. age 38 realizes that he was just faking the appearance of a man and has some sort of midlife crisis to deal with it, or begins to have hobbies and enjoy himself for the first time ever.
example for s.o. who is not a late bloomer.
11 first ejaculation. does a lot of phone pranks.
13 learns how to talk to girls
15 old people refer to him as "young man", since he has wide shoulders and a hint of a beard.
16 has a temporary satori. (awakening)
17 times of akne are finally over, but he never had much anyway. first sex after a party. has to do a project for school that involved interviewing people and finding information from different sources. acting independent like that comes natural to him.
18 earns money in summer, get a car, moves to town of his choice and goes to higher schools. takes LSD many times.
19 has his first ONS that happened outside of a teen party, in a bar. she complimented him on his big cook. i mean his car. both of them.
21 first job with career potential. he has also found a network of kinky people and is visits sex parties. he is recognized as a DOME by some girls.
23 first promotion for his management skills.
26 he becomes independent or gets his own departement or whatever.
28 becomes tired of doing what other people did before. yearns for idealistic purpose, changing the world. starts to network with the global scene of change agents. his sex partners come from yoga classes now, but they are down for bdsm. they trust him enough, he can choke them until they become unconscious during orgasm. takes ayahuasca in the jungle.
32 has invented and founded an own company that makes exciting things happen. has an open relationship with a woman who is an equal to him.
35 woman wants a kid from him, gets it.
42 after his company has full success, he specializes on helping out other companies. isn't so close to his spouse anymore, but still friends. visits her and the three children every week in the house he bought for them.
48 isn't sure what else to accomplish, has permanent awakening.
i'm a bit obsessed by stereotypes
my examples are examples of existentialist development, it's the core of all intelligences.
the first example is consistently slow about it, but moves ahead consistently. he consciously wants to attain more existential freedom and is disappointed by his own ability to realize it. and what little freedom he has, he may not be able to bringing into life, because of poor skills, because of poor experience.
the second example is so weak in existential awareness, that he can suppress it entirely for three decades. it doesn't disappear, while in the shadow. i helps him a bit. but he doesn't make anything out of it, doesn't appreciate it and doesn't understand it as a challenge. he tries to make believe, that he is already fully developed, without it.
the third example is about as strong as it gets. this individual is a free spirit at 11. he can fully comprehend, that his choices and dealing with the consequences is his own business and that in that sense everything (every choice) is possible for him. what evolves from there are his visions and he is at all times self-actualized, because he always has the skills, due to experience.
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