Fluctuating Sensitivity

[severus]

[These new smileys really suck. Particularly the cat. Like anything could beat =^.^= ]

Anyway, I have noticed that the amount of interaction with the Outside world I can handle fluctuates. During the school year, I can survive in my gigantic high school, go home and recharge for less than an hour, and be okay to interact with people again. However, now at the end of a summer spent in near-isolation, interaction drains me much faster and it takes me longer to recharge.

Today, for example, I spent the early afternoon registering for school. Though I hardly spoke to anyone during this, I still needed a good hour locked in my room afterward. Then I was dragged out to visit old people that I'm related to. I was good for several hours. Pretty soon I had to escape to the upstairs. I came down after only about fifteen minutes, not recharged at all. After spending just another half hour with all of them, I was getting really anxious, but we left shortly after that. My mother tried to talk to me in the car; I gave her one-word answers until she gave up. When I got home I proceeded to lock myself in my room for two hours or so. I decided that I couldn't handle any more interaction today, and so stayed home from fencing.

I have come to the (rather obvious, really) conclusion that I can build up tolerance to the Outside world after repeated exposure. The question is, does my brain actually adjust to the level of interaction, or do I just learn to suck it up and deal when I have to? Is there a difference?

I'm assuming some of you have had similar experiences with this "fluctuating sensitivity." ...Anyone?

 

[flow]

I'm thinking the process of registering brought about some kind of stress, along with interactions with said people. I don't think that your tolerance is currently down due to prolonged isolation, it's probably just that the activities of the day weren't very pleasant..? I find that repeated exposure does not help me. I can only be around people for so long, regardless of how wonderful they are.

 

[severus]

Maybe today was a bad example. Although it was not particularly pleasant, you could replace "visiting old people I'm related to" with "hanging out with friends" and have the same result.

Perhaps I'm just mixing up my introversion with a dislike of people? I dunno.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

I think it's not really about how much time you have alone as it is about how well you can clear out your head and your emotions... My guess is: if you're still thinking about something, or are frustrated, or need some kind of resolution; it's going to take you hours or days to come back to some kind of neutral.

Some of these things that disrupt us could be dealt with pro-actively, I think... I find I journal a lot when I'm getting wound up. The expression means I don't need to keep it inside any longer... and it's less complicating than telling someone else... I don't have any confidants I know in person at this time, so... "bitching" to someone isn't an option. There's also the strategy of confronting whoever / whatever's bothering you...

I also find I have annual trends in my levels of tolerance... Surprisingly, I think Fall is usually a pretty bad time of the year for me and has been for a several years...
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[Trebuchet]

I do have varying sensitivity. I have had public-facing jobs on occasion, and done quite well at them, and I seem to get better at handling it with recent practice. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 5 years, though, and the thought of going back to that fills me with dread.

I can sort of retreat into my head when I am around people, which helps. I have learned to say polite things that keep others happy, showing them only the feelings and thoughts I choose to show, and as a result I don't really get close to coworkers (or fellow students, as the case may be). People think I am a little odd, using a larger than normal vocabulary, and not that good at small talk, but I fake it well enough that they just think I am on the reserved side of normal.

Putting up a false front is still stressful, but it works well enough to handle a lot of contact. I also feel obligated to keep up some minimal social network for the sake of my daughter. It would certainly be easier if I could find even one iNtuitive mommy around my neighborhood.

 

[shoeless]

i'm the exact opposite, honestly. during the school year i become completely burnt out and can't handle any more social contact than i have during the school day, and even then it really takes a toll on my emotional and, to an extent, physical health. but during the summer i crave social interaction because i have absolutely none of it, like i dunno, i'm trying to "normalize" myself, or something.

i dunno, i'm trying to better myself in that sense, trying to be more social and build up a tolerance. for me it's only difficult because i have such a difficult time accurately expressing my ideas and opinions that i'm afraid of constantly misrepresenting myself (because i constantly misrepresent myself). i'm not really sure if it's a fluctuation of sensitivity or just some kind of withdrawal, but, oh well i guess.

 

[Ermine]

This reminds me of my Pathetically Introverted thread, which you might find useful.

Some of these things that disrupt us could be dealt with pro-actively, I think... I find I journal a lot when I'm getting wound up. The expression means I don't need to keep it inside any longer... and it's less complicating than telling someone else... I don't have any confidants I know in person at this time, so... "bitching" to someone isn't an option. There's also the strategy of confronting whoever / whatever's bothering you...

I agree. It's not the amount of recuperation time that counts as much as it is what you do in the alone time you have. Doing specifically introspective activities such as journaling, reading, just about anything remotely creative that you can do by yourself, is much more fulfilling and energizing than spending a lot of alone time in a less constructive way. For me, journaling for half an hour is more energizing than a 2 hour nap.

A bunch of other factors play into this as well. As severus touched on, doing a social activity you enjoy is less draining than a social activity you don't enjoy. For example, school is typically very draining for me, and I usually don't want to hang out with anyone after school as a result. However, I can manage going out with friends after school to look at art galleries without being drained too much because I really enjoyed it.

Something else that comes to mind is the level of emotional effort. Whenever any social situation requires me to percieve what others are feeling or attempt to walk in someone else's shoes, it's exhausting. Even if someone's just confiding in me and I'm only listening for the most part, I would still have to be alone for the rest of the day, and take it easy for a while after. That may explain why it took more energy out of you to visit your old relatives that it did for you to prepare for the upcoming school year, Severus.

 

[Xel]

I do think going from extreme periods of solitude to periods of constant interaction is very draining. I usually don't interact much in the summer. But when I went to the Vatican Museum the crowds there were so huge and so pressing... I could barley stand. Usually I don't mind crowds since I'm not really talking to anyone, but this was different. I think being used to having space and having a lack of external stimuli contributed to the feeling I got. The people, the art, the Catholicism, more people, trying to analyze the art while people are in the way, the tour guide etc... Too much. By the time I got to the Sistine Chapel I wasn't really thinking and I just let Michelangelo conquer me.

 

[walfin]

It's the quality of interaction I guess, not the quantity.

In high school I suppose interactions can be a bit more transactional (except with close friends), unlike with family etc., and those interactions are probably less taxing for an INTP.

 

[severus]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Ermine, I'll go check out that thread. (yeah, I fail at the "search" function..)

Just finished my first (half) week of school, which was a nightmare. Between being around people all day, homework, and a speech, I had a breakdown. I ended up sobbing in front of my mother--the first time I've cried in front of someone since a was little. Once all the work was done and my speech delivered, I was as bubbly as could be. (The speech, by the way, went fine except I need to "show more enthusiasm." I found this typical, and so rather amusing.)

But, I think I'll be good now, since the first shock of the transition is done.

 

[Damaged.Goods]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. Ermine, I'll go check out that thread. (yeah, I fail at the "search" function..)

Just finished my first (half) week of school, which was a nightmare. Between being around people all day, homework, and a speech, I had a breakdown. I ended up sobbing in front of my mother--the first time I've cried in front of someone since a was little. Once all the work was done and my speech delivered, I was as bubbly as could be. (The speech, by the way, went fine except I need to "show more enthusiasm." I found this typical, and so rather amusing.)

But, I think I'll be good now, since the first shock of the transition is done.

I empathize with this and your first post very much. Sometimes I can visit lecture after lecture at university, then go home and talk to my parents government and business friends and play the role of good daughter, and then go to painting society.

But other times even short social interaction makes me feel nauseous. Once the situation became extreme so much that I couldn't spend more than 10 minutes around my father without fainting. That might be different issue though. More relevant to this topic is that I sometimes have to be completely isolated with my paints and pens and books or else I'll physically collapse.

Strangely I have found that my most productive periods of writing and painting has been right after weeks of social interaction, just as I collapse and enter solitude again. I think perhaps these kinds of stress and activities in antipathy with our own true nature cause creativity to reassert the essence of our being in a forceful way which it doesn't need to otherwise.

How sad though, that the best art of an individual is often born from that which causes them suffering.

Anyway, severus, I hope that your situation become easier for you. I think it's in the nature of people like intps to have ambivalent relationship of desire and repulsion with regard to social life. Perhaps the best thing, which maybe only grows with time and long experience of oneself, is to work out how to live a social life that is in harmony with our periodic cyclical need to withdraw and be alone with our own inner worlds. Maybe even to work out how to us that cycle in our favor, such as to enhance our creativity or intellectual flair.

The hard thing for people such as you and I is that we have two worlds to deal with all the time. Many people deal mainly only with one, and that is the world where we all meet and do our daily business and have our social interactions. People such as we also have to constantly attend to the world in which we are more at home, the inner world of mind and fantasy and great intellectual struggle. It is no wonder that we react against being split between our true inner homeland and the social land we are forced to visit, often against our will.

Good luck severus.

Jin Jing.