ENTJs Rare?

[Cavallier]

Have you ever known an ENTJ? If you have please describe them in this thread or at least detail a few of your interactions with them.

Also, I've noticed some common themes in how people (or at least this community of INTPs) perceive ENTJs. I want to collect a few interactions and compare them in one place. Is it true that many of you have had negative, controlling, or even abusive relationships with ENTJs? These are the sort of stories I've been reading a lot lately. Does anybody have any positive interactions they could describe?

 

[Wish]

I had a Genetics TA that was probably an ENTJ, however my interactions with her were pretty exclusively academic.

She seemed to enjoy explaining the material and her research quite a bit but would become irritated when students didn't understand what she was saying or, really, when things just weren't going as she had planned (or expected them to, maybe). Also when talking to you she would always stare directly at you, as if she was trying to download information into your head, which was pretty intimidating and tiring.

Not a very good example, but yes.

Oh, also, it was kind of creepy when she spoke because her face would be entirely motionless/expressionless other than her flapping jaw.

And that stare, man... o_o

 

[GYX_Kid]

yeah an ENTJ + INxx is going to yield a sadistic vs vindictive war until one of them crosses the line of legality.

but if both of them are civil, wise and understanding there can be some quality output churned at high speed. a cooperative ENTJ will provide a realistic motor for a cooperative INTP's engine.

 

[Bird]

ENTJ + INFJ = no bueno ):


They tend to make the really
stubborn sides of INFJs come
out. Controlling. Controlling.
Controlling.

 

[GYX_Kid]

ENTJ + INFJ = no bueno ):


They tend to make the really
stubborn sides of INFJs come
out. Controlling. Controlling.
Controlling.

my dad vs brother. if my dad is an ENTJ he isn't the worst one i've seen by a long shot, though that ^ happens all the time between them

 

[Adymus]

I think the Bad stereotype of ENTJs comes before people actually meet real ENTJs, so they meet Controlling and manipulative people and type them as ENTJ, because that is how they think they are supposed to act.

 

[Minuend]

I don't think I've encountered a RL ENTJ after learning about mbti. Are there any celebrities or something I could see as an example?

I tried a quick search in the typing thread but didn't find any. INFJ examples seems scarce as well.

 

[Adymus]

I don't think I've encountered a RL ENTJ after learning about mbti. Are there any celebrities or something I could see as an example?

I tried a quick search in the typing thread but didn't find any. INFJ examples seems scarce as well.

Donald Trump and Ivanka Trump are pretty solid examples of real ENTJs that are not dead.

Edit: Also, Arnold Shwarzenagger, Rachel Maddow, and Ariana Huffington

INFJ examples seems scarce as well.

ROFL (those who have practiced people reading will know why.)

 

[Words]

My cousin.

1. He acts like a big brother to me.
2. Charismatic and not exactly "totalitarian" or "controlling".
3. Great Fi...probably.
4. Tells you to relax all the time.
5. Always bragging about his articulation abilities.
6. Open-minded
7. Argumentative
8. Pushes but not "pushy".
9. Jokester

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Uncle
Can't take an objective perspective.

Pre-Calculus instructor
Was "professionally strict". He was a motor that drove the class, but very autistic-like. Had a sharp eye and amazing ability to store his awareness of people. Subtle hints of superiority. Jokester. Talkative.

High school friend
Pretentious and honest at the same time. Very competitive, mentally. Talkative. Jokester.

And that stare, man... o_o

Hehe. ENFJs have it too.

 

[Cavallier]

What I find fascinating about Donald Trump is the way he seems to be acting his way through life. He has always seemed so incredibly fake to me then I realized one day that it's because he comes across as very serious but is willing to simultaneously make fun of himself. It's something that is easy to mistake for falseness I suspect.

Anyway, thanks for the responses so far everybody.

 

[Thoughtful]

Both my Dad and my Brother are ENTJs, and they're both awesome. I'd say that they're really equal or less controlling than INTJs (My Mom). The only way that they were more "controlling" than others is that they had a passion for whatever they did, and they were able to get other people excited about it too. It's a really stimulating feeling to talk with an ENTJ or hear them speak about something they enjoy.

Words described them to a T.

 

[Unsure]

My ex-husband was an ENTJ , he was abusive, controlling etc.... I would not however, base all my information on all ENTJ's based on my ex-husband's example, he didn't grow up under the best of circumstances, and was abused himself. We was extremely unhappy with life, and felt like the world owed him something. In short, he was a miserable man.

I think if he was raised under better circumstances, and didn't feel like the world owed him, he could have been incredible. He had a lot of good qualities in spite of himself. He was outspoken, confidant, a good conversationalist, (unless he was trying to turn your point-of-view to his, to, then he get verbally abusive, especially if you dared to be "stubborn".) he was also very charming when he needed to be.

 

[Taniwha]

I know too many ENTJ's.

Human Biology Professor - Extremely hard to keep up with during her lectures. One moment shes running around with vials and microscopes the next shes out the door. She reminds me of Miss Frizzle from the Magic school bus.

My Muay Thai Trainer (current new zealand female middle weight champion) - Unstable in mood, however me and her seem to get along. We like to spar each other in the ring. She has a good sense of humor, and shes one of the few I feel the most relaxed sparring against. Shes a tough cookie.

My Boxing Trainer - An ENTJ with aspergers, hes a good trainer but extremely blunt about things, hes not afraid to voice his opinion. However, hes also very encouraging.

In general I like ENTJ's, especially when they have a healthy outlook on life. One thing I admire about ENTJ's is that they are generally hard workers, intelligent and outspoken. Down sides about ENTJ's, like ENFJ's, they can be very controlling and manipulating both logically and emotionally, which is scary. You have to keep your head above water when working with them.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Down sides about ENTJ's, like ENFJ's, they can be very controlling and manipulating both logically and emotionally, which is scary. You have to keep your head above water when working with them.

sharks i tell ya, bunch of no-good sharks out to get you

supposing the healthy outlook on life is not present.

 

[XXXX]

I'm not sure how rare or common ENTJ are, but I don't seem to come across all that many that I suspect are (from my rookie reading skills based on Adymus' TIRT thread).

That said I am quite sure one of my father's good friends is an ENTJ.

He's a very successful business man that embodies most of the qualities most think of when you say ENTJ i.e. direct in articulation, organized, driven, hardworking, efficient etc.

He doesn't come across to me as 'over-controlling' (perhaps to more sensitive people he may) and I know he's been very lenient with his son, who would seriously test even the most easy going parents patience out, compared to the rest of his family.

I think most J's have the potential to come across as controlling to some in different ways as they are typically very driven to push forward and get results.

 

[Minuend]

Thank you mister Adymus

 

[Cavallier]

^Why do I get the feeling that your show of meekness is just a cover for a sharp object hidden up your sleeve?

I have to admit that I know a couple of ENTJs so I'll outline my experiences with them.

They were both raised in a relatively healthy and happy family. They were both able to take criticism well. That is so long as the criticism is intelligent and insightful. If you gave them pointless or unintelligent criticism they were quite capable of telling you to screw off. It really refreshing since many people tend to be deeply offended even by the most inocuous criticism. Also, it's nice that I don't have spend very much of our interactions emotionally reassuring either of them. I have a few friends that require almost constant reassurance that I like and value them when if I'm hanging out with them it should be obvious how I feel about them.

Neither of the two ENTJs I know are particularly controlling. They do have strong opinions based on fact and intelligent extrapolation though. If you get offended during strong debate then I could see where ENTJs would be frustrating. In my experienc they tend to scoff at people who disagree with them but are willing to change their position should they be proven wrong.

In my experience they can put people off because though they are eloquent they don't tend to hand out the sort of emotional reassurance many people need to be happy. They tend to be blunt, direct, and perhaps even dismissive. I have one friend in particular (I suspect she is an INFJ) who admitted to me that she felt our ENTJ friend was intimidating. Aslo, I suspect (Being the INFJ she is she never quite says anything directly but I think I know her well enough to know what she was hinting at) that she sees his directness and bluntness as too sharp for group cohesion and therefore thinks he doesn't value our group of friends. Yet, this is the same ENTJ who has covered everybody's rent when we were all shy one month.

I guess it's just more proof that the ability to give emotional reassurance is necessary. *sigh*

 

[aquiclude]

My current supervisor is an ENTJ. He was always manipulative in what I considered a benevolent way to facilitate my productivity (I tend to over-analyze problems and consider endless scenarios before making a decision.). He was kind of like a big brother. I always politely took his comments as well-meaning, if not workable for me. I tend to collect advice from many sources, but don't necessarily follow it.

Due to a combination of factors (a life-threatening illness changing his outlook, his quitting smoking-increasing his anxiety and irritability, and an increased workload), he became less tolerant of my proclivities. His fear of missing deadlines compelled him to tighten the reins. He has been an overbearing micromanager. He constantly says and insinuates that I lack common sense, can't see the big picture, repeat too many errors, am capricious, and can't adapt to change; much of this is exacerbated by his increased micromanagement. He talks loudly and seems unaware that others can hear details in my personal conversations with him.

When I write reports, I tend to inadvertently re-phrase passages that have been used before, and which he considers conventions. I pressed him for boilerplate template for a particular type of technical report we do, and, not understanding how hard it is for me to follow an unstated convention, he literally held me to the letter. His overbearance and frequent beratings threw me into panic attacks and then depression (which through I had overcome a few years ago). There's more, but that should give you an idea.

 

[Nysamis]

I'm no ENTJ magnet (as I'm not INTP), so I can't say I know many as of yet. I have probably met more than I realize.

I met a kickass middle-aged woman I read as ENTJ. She makes me wonder how many ENTJs are getting mistyped as ESTPs, due to the Se and Keirsey's strange notion that ESTPs are Directive. I've noticed most people think Trump is ESTP, for one.

She gave presentations to tech company people for a living. I think the topic of those had something to do with making tech companies more efficient and productive. She enjoyed the rush of mastering her presentation, as she actually felt quite nervous the first couple times she would make a new presentation. She didn't like doing the same presentation over and over again; once the challenge was gone, it lost its luster, in a way. From what I could tell, she was great at doing these, but she always wanted to push herself to make an even better presentation. (She was in a career counseling with me because she felt that she had exhausted all the possibilities in her current position.)

Her love of the adrenaline rush one gets when mastering a craft spilled over into her hobbies as well. She's always enjoyed the thrill of being close to fire, so she enjoys making pottery and other such things. (Like going to Burning Man: she even got married at BM.) She had a rather hard time learning how to play the violin, but she pushed through with a lot of determination and got quite good at it, from what I could discern. She didn't want to mentally or physically stagnate. She always thirsts for a hearty challenge, as is the healthy Te dom's spirit. I got the feeling that she appeared more vulnerable in career counseling than she would while doing her work, as the class I took with her was very emotionally intense at times. She handled that well, as she had good development of her polar Fi. She knew that sometimes she needed to have downtime to foster her own subjectivity and drift into her Ni. She was an all around well-developed model.

Not all ENTJs end up like this, just from what I've seen from videos. (Not everyone from X type ends up developing in the same way, anyway.) There are some that are overbearing, controlling, and bitchy, as is the stereotype. But I would imagine there are many many more out there who are healthy and kicking some serious ass implementing the systems of the future. An ENTJ who has mastered all their cognitive functions is a powerful force to be reckoned with.

 

[EvilScientist Trainee]

Thinking about it, I guess that my Microbiology teacher was an ENTJ.

He was a guy with a broad knowledge on the subject. He knew everything that was there to teach, as he had studied the subject for at least four decades right now. He would just arrive at the class with nothing but the charts for taking notes of who was there, and then, would stand up and write a lot of things on the subject.

However, despite being good at the subject itself, his main goal was pushing students to learn new things. He was always asking us questions to test our understanding, questions to which he of course already knew who would answer and what would be their mistakes.

His classes were focused on the feedback he had from the class. An interested student would certainly get his attention, and he would always make sure that he made that student refined and further develop its understanding. At the same time, he was very impersonal with the rest of the people. He was seeking competent people to take his classes, not a bunch of slackers.

It wasn't a surprise that in a class of 50 people, only 10 ventured in taking microbiology with him right away. And from these 10, only 6 were able to pull out good grades.

 

[SkyWalker]

I just started a thread on narcissism today. I put out ENTJ as the most narcissism prone type, I see you guys do the same here.... the narcissism-ENTJ connection is there i guess??

 

[Cavallier]

Interesting. I'll check it out.

 

[why]

I think my roommate is ENTJ. I do not agree with the notion that INTPs and ENTJs are incompatible. Different, for sure, but I think it is the positive kind of difference, where the two types complement each other.

We get along great. Like I've said to him multiple times, if I had several people to choose among to be my roommate, I would probably choose him. I am aware of stereotypes associated with ENTJ's, but he either does not fit them or I am not too sensitive to that kind of behavior.

The most important thing in our relationship is the fact that we both respect each other's weaknesses. He can be overwhelming sometimes, but in general respects my need for privacy and alone time. On the other hand, I have become somewhat more open and outspoken since I have been living with him.

He often uses me to test his ideas, in a sense that he comes to me, speaks about whatever bothers him, be it an abstract idea he just thought of or some personal issue. I know this is a poor description, but I lack words to describe it. I think that is manifestation of that push and push back behavior Adymus described in the sticky, where my roommate uses me as a sort of a mirror to reflect his ideas
The thing I admire about him is his ability to persuade almost anyone to do almost anything. That, and his ability to connect to people really quickly.

On the downside, he really has a hard time doing things he does not like, but has to do, like studying for boring subjects or cleaning his room. It is even messier than mine

About the subject, I think he's the only ENTJ I know, so I would say they are rare, if my anecdotal evidence counts for anything

 

[Aramea]

I'm no ENTJ magnet (as I'm not INTP), so I can't say I know many as of yet. I have probably met more than I realize.

I met a kickass middle-aged woman I read as ENTJ. She makes me wonder how many ENTJs are getting mistyped as ESTPs, due to the Se and Keirsey's strange notion that ESTPs are Directive. I've noticed most people think Trump is ESTP, for one.

She gave presentations to tech company people for a living. I think the topic of those had something to do with making tech companies more efficient and productive. She enjoyed the rush of mastering her presentation, as she actually felt quite nervous the first couple times she would make a new presentation. She didn't like doing the same presentation over and over again; once the challenge was gone, it lost its luster, in a way. From what I could tell, she was great at doing these, but she always wanted to push herself to make an even better presentation. (She was in a career counseling with me because she felt that she had exhausted all the possibilities in her current position.)

Her love of the adrenaline rush one gets when mastering a craft spilled over into her hobbies as well. She's always enjoyed the thrill of being close to fire, so she enjoys making pottery and other such things. (Like going to Burning Man: she even got married at BM.) She had a rather hard time learning how to play the violin, but she pushed through with a lot of determination and got quite good at it, from what I could discern. She didn't want to mentally or physically stagnate. She always thirsts for a hearty challenge, as is the healthy Te dom's spirit. I got the feeling that she appeared more vulnerable in career counseling than she would while doing her work, as the class I took with her was very emotionally intense at times. She handled that well, as she had good development of her polar Fi. She knew that sometimes she needed to have downtime to foster her own subjectivity and drift into her Ni. She was an all around well-developed model.

Not all ENTJs end up like this, just from what I've seen from videos. (Not everyone from X type ends up developing in the same way, anyway.) There are some that are overbearing, controlling, and bitchy, as is the stereotype. But I would imagine there are many many more out there who are healthy and kicking some serious ass implementing the systems of the future. An ENTJ who has mastered all their cognitive functions is a powerful force to be reckoned with.

This sounds exactly like my ENTJ best friend. When they are top of things get the fuck out of the way. When they meet their match it can be like two galaxies colliding. She met hers in the form of her now ex-husband. I was scared for her safety from him killing her or her killing herself. She literally became a shell of her former self for about a year, whereupon she emerged like a phoenix from the ashes dedicated to starting a business in his industry. She is tackling this project as I would have expected, becoming an authority in the industry and doing everything herself, delegating only the most menial of tasks.

The only negative I can really detect is grandiosity. She is quite intelligent but in a very different way. I am not really sure how much actual data she gathers before making a decision vs. making most of it up out of whole cloth. She does make decisions rather quickly and a few have been bananas, but to hear her tell it, she is an expert on everything. She often bounces ideas off of me, presumably because I will give her 46 different scenarios for her to crunch on while she finishes her glass of wine, dismisses 45 of them, and makes a decision.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

I have an ENTJ sister and I don't much share what seems to be a common perception of them as too controlling and domineering.

but if both of them are civil, wise and understanding there can be some quality output churned at high speed. a cooperative ENTJ will provide a realistic motor for a cooperative INTP's engine.

Yeah, she does this too.

 

[Abraxas]

I've known only two people that I'm positive to be ENTJ. The other was very outgoing, self-confident and socially aware. Me, him and another INTP were having a few beers and smoked some pot, eventually our conversation led to the differences between extroverts and introverts. So I decided we should take a simple test, each one of us, by drawing a 'Q' using the index finger of our dominant hands to our foreheads.

extrovert introvert

The result was as expected and we started discussing the test result and how it was indicative of our personalities. My ENTJ friend made a comment on how we might not know that, but maybe he deliberately drew the 'Q' the way he did and that he was just manipulating our perception of him. And then I replied that this is a typical extrovert thing to be so concerned with how other people see them. He seemed pissed on how accurately someone could interpret him based on something as simple as that. I don't know if it's an ENTJ thing or common with extroverts in general to go through a lot of trouble in influencing the way they are perceived by others.

And the other ENTJ I know is actually equipped with a remarkably low self-esteem. There are a few things he's very confident about though, his Photoshopping skills (which aren't actually that good) and the size of his virtual penis in the World of Warcraft. I think he's very insecure about himself in general and he needs to be absolutely brilliant in something and he really needs everyone around him to see that aswell.

So basically in my experience, ENTJs are fun to hang with, they're logically oriented and articulate. The thing I dislike most about them is that they're such attention whores and constantly need some sort of acceptance from others.

 

[Aramea]

And the other ENTJ I know is actually equipped with a remarkably low self-esteem. There are a few things he's very confident about though, his Photoshopping skills (which aren't actually that good) and the size of his virtual penis in the World of Warcraft. I think he's very insecure about himself in general and he needs to be absolutely brilliant in something and he really needs everyone around him to see that aswell.

Yes, that is part of the grandiosity I spoke of in my best friend. She will brag on her credit rating, how many men fell in love with her last week and how she drank a $2000 bottle of wine at some guy's house.

Ara, why do you ...

She's the only non-love interest person that has ever taken the time to really get to know me and put up with my many faults at friendship. She understands me better than my own husband. She lights up the room when she enters.

When she brags I just accept it as her wanting me to know the information. If she notices my less than enthusiastic responses she doesn't let on.

 

[Cavallier]

^Hmmm...I don't want to call you out but that sounds more like ENTP behavior to me than ENTJ...or perhaps ENFP behavior? I've never known an ENTJ to really light up a room. The ENFPs I know definitely do. It's almost magical. They tend to brag little more as well.

I think people tend to mistake ENFPs as ENTJs because they can be so dynamic and goal oriented.

 

[notrightnow]

I prefer my ENTJ's medium well. Oh...not what you meant.

 

[Bird]

ENTJ + INFJ = no bueno ):


They tend to make the really
stubborn sides of INFJs come
out. Controlling. Controlling.
Controlling.

Sometimes ENTJs can be controlling
in productive ways. Some women
prefer dominant men and ENTJs can
often provide this quality in which case
the control is symbolic of the care and
the desire to take care of everything
so that she doesn't have to stress or
worry over it. This is not to say that
every woman worries over this or
wants this kind of relationship with
a man. But those that do would
probably get on very well with an ENTJ.

 

[Cavallier]

^Yeah, I could see where some women (or men for that matter) would prefer the sort of partner that takes care of things for them. It would be nice to have somebody like that around. Yet, I would imagine that an ENTJ would get tired of doing everything and would have little respect for their partner if this were the case. Perhaps I'm wrong though. Certainly there is a lot more tied up in gender dynamics and personality is only a part of it.

Egad, the sort of women that like to have a man order their meal for them I've never quite identified with.

 

[Aramea]

^Hmmm...I don't want to call you out but that sounds more like ENTP behavior to me than ENTJ...or perhaps ENFP behavior? I've never known an ENTJ to really light up a room. The ENFPs I know definitely do. It's almost magical. They tend to brag little more as well.

I think people tend to mistake ENFPs as ENTJs because they can be so dynamic and goal oriented.

I have spent a few days thinking about this, thinking about her and her relationships and re-reading some of the literature.

She is decisive and she is impatient and dismissive of people she decides are not worth her time. She is very organized and orderly. She has a well developed internal value system that makes sense to her but will violate it as needed to get what she wants. She will then revert back to it. She can be quite intimidating to people. It is possible that I misread ENTP and ENTJ.

As for lighting up the room, I have a feeling that all extroverts light up the room I'm in. It's pretty dark in here ...

 

[viche]

ENTJ #1 Female in her 50s, married for an INTP for 25+ years with what I would say a decent relationship going on between them. Not very loving or passionate, but committed, with little conflict, and prosperous. She was the mother of my ex. Her profession was in medical statistics and she was very committed to her work. When we came to visit his family over winter holidays for a week she only took 1.5 days off her work. She also earned about 3x as much as her INTP husband, who worked form home, allowing them to buy a house in a very nice neighborhood. She was a workaholic no doubt about it. She would sleep around 6 hours per night and then be off to work. During her off-work hours she would mobilize herself and her INTP husband to do some home-improvement projects so their home was in constant flux. When I came over to visit their family over winter holidays one notable thing was that she would pound on the door to our room at 8:00am sharp and continue pounding until we would wake up and come out. It didn't matter whether it was holidays or whether we were having sex half the night perhaps, she had no such considerations. Her INTP husband (the father of my ex) appeared to me to be slightly neurotic. He took to me right away in very positive manner. I think he was starving for some Fe. She started making some sarcastic comments about me for the duration of my stay. My ex warned me that she would put down all of his girlfriends but that she was really just doing it jokingly, so being warned I did not take offense. In house she really behaved like the man with her husband following her initiative.

ENTJ #2 This guy was the more introverted Ni subtypes of ENTJ strong on his Fi, age around mid-40s. By profession he was software developer. Due to being the more introverted subtype stronger on Fi he would on occasion come off as melodramatic. His conversation was a strange pattern of being confident and overbearing then suddenly switching to just plain seeking information (Te/Se to Ni/Fi switch I believe). He collected guns and was very strongly pro-gun in his political views which he liked to talk about. He was excessively protective of his family but from a very strongly aggressive point of view. He married an eastern european woman, type unknown, with whom they had 3 children. I've played some online games with him. He was constantly complaining about lack of strategic goals in any given game. In game he was excellent at coming up with new tactics to achieve that one goal he set.

ENTJ #3 Another pro-gun male who very much liked collecting guns. Was also a pro at playing billiard. He was a government official high up in the natural resources business particularly oil. I've say he was lower upper class - he earned approx $25,000 a month. Married to an INFP woman who he met one night at a bus stop (life-long marriage). They seemed to have a very passionate relationships that was nevertheless filled with periodic rather heated fights. Nevertheless he was very thoroughly dedicate to his family (they had 1 daughter). He was also always readily to help out monetarily for his distant relatives. I can't say he was too generous, but at the same time he wasn't greedy - somehow he maintained a good balance between the two. I know that he has cheated on his wife but purely physically (they hired some prostitutes for some party).

ENTJ #4 Don't know much about this guy. An ENTJ male in his early 20s. Played some games with him. He confessed he has been having trouble in real life offending people such that others would reject him. He went into cognitive therapy for it and improved. Loved gathering gangs together in game and leading them. He was initially rejected from our group and complained about people being too indirect with him about their offenses. He had no ability to detect other people's emotions in any capacity, thus he wanted others to be straightforward with him about it.

ENTJ #5 Don't know much about this guy. Played online games with him. He worked as a dock worker I believe in real life, so held a menial job. He had one child with his wife. He rarely mentioned his family though unlike ENTJ #2. From what I know of his history he at one point had some land in southern Africa but was displaced and migrated to Australia. This was the extraverted subtype of ENTJ high on Te and Se. In online games he seemed to derive fun from gathering groups together to fight other groups. Very high energy. Most other people considered it to be a stressful activity but to him it came very naturally. He had to take a few breaks from the game due to saying things that were perceived as too of performance of other players. He also had a propensity to make really crude physical jokes and was dyslexic. This guy had some superb people skills by the way, better than the all of the other ENTJs I've met. I attributed it to him living a harsh life from what he described of his 20s and 30s. It helped him build character and also learn how to mesh with other people well.

ENTJ #6 By profession entrepreneur, earned quite a bit of money. Met him at a holiday party, acquaintance of my parents. Showed up to the party very late and very drunk. Recently divorced with his wife and came to the party with his 20 something girlfriend from eastern europe (he just hit 50 himself). Was very easy to tell that he is ENTJ because he was physically rather impulsive and very direct. He got offended at something I said during the party and tried to put me down several time at the dinner table. He was very straightforward in his attempts. His attempts seemed to boil down to trying to point out that I cannot support myself, which my family and I both disproved pretty much. I then decided to poke fun back at him hinting at his 20-something girlfriend and their age difference. I knew full well that the community didn't accept this new union and looked down on it, and that he felt insecure about it, so I took advantage of it to exact some revenge. He probably saw me as someone low down in hierarchy due to age difference, so I could see that my hints infuriated him but he couldn't do much about it. Alike ENTJ #5 he also made crude physical jokes at the dinner table a few times. I later heard that he tied up things with his new gf and went back to his wife.


So key features:
- very direct in expression, will make critical remarks without much consideration of other people's feelings, but wishes for directness from others as well
- pays a lot of attention to other people meeting some competitive standards, excellent for driving a group towards meeting such standards
- lacks ability to read other people's feelings and understand emotional subtext or undertones (and considers it unimportant anywho)
- biggest issues seems to be with being rejected out of social groups due to being perceived as overly aggressive and critical and overbearing, people skills are weakest area
- takes initiative frequently to start doing new things
- physically active, can become physically confrontational in case of conflict, tendency to naturally behave like an alpha
- Te/Se more extraverted subtype makes them appear more organized, more confident and more outgoing
- Ni/Fi subtype can become occasionally too unsure and too moody and thus appear to be less confident and less organized
- periodically their inferior Fi kicks in and they will proceed to do things based on own sentiments when it makes no logical sense
- strategic in thinking, will get one goal and push towards it, will improvise on tactics/methods along the way

 

[drömmaren]

A close friend of mine is ENTJ. He used to be my LEAST favorite person in the world because he was so judgmental, inconsiderate, and manipulative. When he enters a room, everyone knows he is there (and often wishes he weren't). The fact that we somehow became friends mystifies me. I think part of it had to do with the fact that he respects me for being "calm and rational" when most girls he knows are "PMS-ing" all the time. He has no patience for emotional people and could not empathize with anyone if his life depended on it. He is, however, fully aware that these characteristics may be problematic in his career of choice (a high school teacher) and is trying to develop his feeling function. He really is a good person and wants to make a positive impact on the world, but people are unfortunately turned off by his arrogance. I may be the only person to whom he has ever displayed his vulnerable side, and I might be the only one who has ever been able to convince him that he is wrong- and have him be okay with it. Interestingly, he is very religious and can give a three hour evidence-based lecture about how religious belief and science actually strengthen each other rather than pose contradictions. In terms of a relationship, as a female I might be into a more sensitive ENTJ with a well developed F...if they even exist.

 

[a detached retina]

I think my mechanics of materials professor is ENTJ.

He is extremely charismatic and organized with a profound intuitive understanding of the subject. He is always on time to class. He expects criticism in the form of teacher evaluation forms and he is unbelievably fair. Not nice but SUPER fair. He attacks the material in a linear manner and almost struts around the room looking people dead in the eye as he lectures like he's pushing the lecture at you. I asked a question in class about shearing stresses that he couldn't immediately answer and you could tell it wasn't the type of thing that happened often to him, but he most certainly didn't give a hand-waiving BS answer to cover it up. He did his research and answered it the next class, he'll probably never be in doubt about anything shearing stress related again.

I probably wouldn't like being friends with the guy though, or having him as a boss. Really good from a distance.

 

[SkyWalker]

In terms of a relationship, as a female I might be into a more sensitive ENTJ with a well developed F...if they even exist.

They dont exist.
(And they wouldnt be an ENTJ anymore if they had F.)

You probably like ENTJ's because they are "dangerous": you dont trust it at all, but you still like it!

What does exist is another type that plays ENTJ when you just meet him, just so you begin to like him and then we you fall for him, he opens up: he's not ENTJ actually! I guess that would be ideal for you

 

[xbox]

my Dad is an ENTJ. He and I havent gotten along for as long as I can remember.

Controlling. Emotionally abusive. Neat-freak. Has to be always right. etc

My Medical school dean was also ENTJ. He reminded me of my dad.

 

[Cavallier]

These accounts mystify me. Obviously there's got to be a lot of jerk ENTJs out there. I just haven't had the displeasure of meeting one I guess.

 

[Jelly Rev]

They are rare, but I am fortunate enough to have one as one of my two best friends, the other one actually being an INTJ.

He is rarely ever in tune with other peoples feelings, and he has no need to, he simply dominates people without flinching. OF Course the ENTJ STARE just destroys about anyone who thinks of even flinching.

When us 3 go out to a party we just roflstomp everyone there. With our lead ENTJ keeping people in line we can all be completly T with no F. Conversations turn into insulting each other, and throwing it right back at each other. 3 NT's together just destroy guy feelers and its kinda sad, they get pissed and sad etc. When it does get out of line I have to put him in line bc his insults and stare have no effect on me and he knows if I tell him he is out of line.

It is also interesting when we are picking up women and he just dominates thinking it cuz he wrecks till I break it down piece by piece and show him the analysis of it.

The most interesting part is he is not really that talkative, he just brings in so much dynamic power people are just drawn to him and he just rips on them, the guys hate it and the girls fall in love with it.

ENTJ friend=my party get crazy friend, INTJ=my hang out more personal friend

ENTJ, INTJ and INTP going out to party/bars=the craziest stories you will ever hear.

 

[xbox]

My cousin is an ENTP.

 

[Panopticon]

I've known two ENTJ's, both female. This was before I payed any attention to mbti, but looking back it makes alot of sense. I can honestly say I found them both to be great personalities, very respectful, and sincere. Both were also very intelligent and hard working(met them both at work). Both were very attractive physically, I had a pretty big crush on both(even though they were both taken, one married) Now I dont consider myself a great looking cat, and my self esteem wasnt exactly high, but somehow they were both attracted to me. I could make these girls nearly piss their pants laughing without even trying, and I thought they were fun as hell to be around too. It seems as if they saw something in me that I didnt yet, and I would get confidence/self esteem boosters from them.
Obviously I didnt get to know them well enough to see their manipulative and controlling side, but on the surface I thought they were great. So I'm not sure I fully endorse the stereotypes associated with ENTJ's...I mean, I'd still like to meet one of my own. On the other hand though, I can see how I would urk the shit out of them if I were in a long term relationship with one. Seems like the only type that would challenge me to my fullest. Too bad Im one of those INTP's that doesnt know shit about attractions and opportunities until after that ship has sailed.

 

[SkyWalker]

ENTJ's are somehow very good at seeing the hierarchy in human society. They focus on it and they know how to climb the ladder like no other type. (kick ass if lower and kiss ass if higher)

They stick to their internal decisions. (Although they don't count promises to others as their own internal decision, that's just talk .)

If they see other humans as enemies to distrust, then they also stick to that decision. This can make the worst unfixable narcissist ever. Unfixable, because they really stick to their decision that others are enemy, plus the way it makes them act narcissitically (once they see others as the enemy) is actually beneficial for them financially and socially etc ,so it becomes self-enforcing. I actually know more about those kind of ENTJs. I am really wondering how they would be if they see other humans as friends they can trust. I actually haven't met a non-malignant ENTJ yet. I still believe they are around somewhere though

 

[anticroquet]

My mom is an ENTJ, and I have an acquaintance that is as well.

From my experience with the two that I know, I have noticed that they both over estimate their intuition and always want to be right. They are also demanding and have very specific expectations they want you to meet. Whether or not they articulate those expectations is a different story...

 

[Jordan~]

I think the head boy at my school was probably an ENTJ. He was nice enough; a little full of himself - he didn't boast or anything, nor did he show off, but he was a quite arrogant and condescending - and he seemed to expect that what he thought was the right thing to do was so obvious that everyone would just do it without needing to be told. He also had a thing where he was best pals with people one moment, then acted like he didn't know them the next. Quite false, he reminded me of the Prime Minister - shaking hands with and smiling at people he doesn't really care about.
Nonetheless he was quite affable and likeable generally. Charismatic is the word, I suppose.

 

[GYX_Kid]

I encountered a gay, deprived, sexually obsessive, envious loser ENTJ. Displayed predatory, passive-aggressive and personality-disordered behavior. Closest thing to a living nightmare I suppose. Might have turned into a GG Allin show if I had decided to actually let things escalate into assaulting the bastard. In the end I couldn't bring myself to actually take him seriously, but I still am really curious about what would have happened; I wasn't wearing my ballsguard and decided it wasn't worth it


Two other people I suspect are ENTJ- The headmaster of my old school. Crazy old man, completely nuts. He's good though, he takes students on trips around the world. He likes to randomly call people out on the spot to make speeches in front of the school, thinks it builds character. Sometimes he'll be caught making inappropriate jokes about people, but nobody really does anything about it besides be flabbergasted that he just said that. Tons of eccentric charisma, I admire him for that. He went through a phase of making prank phone calls, and walking into class to shoot my friend with a nerf gun.

And this one guy in my school, also has the eccentric charisma, has an occasionally wacky way of dressing and appears to get a high off being the center of attention. Can be considered "immature" in some ways, but he acknowledges it and has an overall respectful and fun outlook. Can be teasing, but not to the point of belligerence or serious hostility.


This type is certainly a noteworthy one. Relative impact will be made upon interacting with them.

 

[Jordan~]

Of what was he deprived?

 

[GYX_Kid]

^ a life, and lots of sanity

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

take a simple test, each one of us, by drawing a 'Q' using the index finger of our dominant hands to our foreheads.

extrovert introvert

hahah this is fucking cool. I'd like empirical data on this to be collected pl0x.

 

[chelton1977]

I (female INTP) just split up after 9 months with a male ENTJ -

So I've been reflecting on what worked/didn't work.

The funny thing is I did most definitely feel steamrolled by him, especially during the first few months, but being super P, just found it easier to go along with his plans than not. Usually I'd be half entertained/half aggravated around him.

But oddly by month 5 or 6, our relationship really changed to a point where we were extremely comfortable with each other.

He comes across as a complete narcissist (he will spend a lot of time telling you how awesome he is at everything that can be done). He makes plans and expects everyone to follow (but has very poor social awareness so isn't good at getting people in line.... though that's improving). He'll go to a party hosted at another person's house with a plan for what activities everyone will do and will harass everyone into doing what he wants... with no thought that the people hosting the party probably had their own plans for the evening, no realization at ALL that he's aggravating people by being so domineering. One of my friends hates him and he's never noticed, though I've pointed it out a couple times (why do you have to be so argumentative with her?) and his response is that they weren't arguing. He never had a clue that he was really upsetting the other person.

He has no interest in social graces (please, thank you). In a grocery store, if he wants to know where something is (i.e. bread), he goes up to a random employee and says loudly and demandingly "TOILET PAPER" and that's it, just gives them the ENTJ stare while waiting for them to comply. He also OFTEN talked in an excessively loud voice, whether it was 6 am aand we were just waking up or whatever. Other people we socialize with would ask him to lower his voice.

All very unnerving, and quite frankly, I found his overwhelming personality EXTREMELY embarrassing in social situations.

Yet oddly, at home, most of that disappeared. He stopped bragging at me regularly (I think he finally noticed at some point (though I'm sure it took a long while) that I'm pretty damn smart and competent myself and I don't buy his bullshit). Once he realized that, he began to communicate in much more honest/authentic ways. Basically, he stopped acting like he needed to prove himself awesome and in charge all the time with me. He'd occasionally notice what I was interested in/needed/wanted and give it to me.

And we both have goofy bizarre sense of humor so we joked around a lot.

And we're both very physically affectionate (despite the strong T we both display). So we spent a lot of time spooning/cuddling/snuggling/tickling (though very rarely talking about emotions!)-- and we actually got along really well.


But. I felt bad at the time and I do now, because I hate telling other people what to do. But whenever we'd socialize, I'd talk to him about incorporating social graces (again, I was SO embarassed). And he did, though it wsa usually a struggle at first. I think he now genuinely understands the functional value of saying please and thank you and he understands that when you get a compliment, you should return it, not just reflect on how true it is that you ARE in fact awesome. He woudln't incorporate these things if he HADN'T seen a functional value, but as he's explained to me, he has tried these things out and noticed that people respond well to them, so he uses them now.

The irony of ME teaching another human being about social interactions... HAHAHA. absurd.


But in any case, I do like to think I had a positive influence on him.

We split primarily because he wants kids and marriage and I don't. Even if I did want kids, I couldn't imagine while dating him subjecting my children to someone who would steamroll them like this guy. Plus he wants to raise his kids catholic and i'm very opposed to that.

But. If it weren't for the fact that he had this goal he was trying to reach, and I coudln't help him reach it... I'm pretty sure we'd still be together. Because oddly, we got along really really well during the last few months. Apparently (as per the post mortem conversation), he THOUGHT we were getting along really well during the first few months but actually I was feeling steamrolled and aggravated.

I only coudl get to a good place with him, I think, because I'm an independent person. I didn't need to dominate him and I coudl maintain my own personality around him. i'm a little worried that he'll date women in future (as he has in the past) who are sort of helpless and who'll get steamrolled by him. But hopefully he won't. He doesn't respect passive/helpless types for any lenght of time.

When we split, oddly, I realized that hte things I miss most about him are the thigns that made me think we were completely incompatible. If we had kids, he'd provide strict rules and boundaries, which is good. I would TRY to do that and totally fail. And I liked his enthusiasm for all his projects and his quirky way of viewing the world and his ability to plan things and then execute them (I of course get stuck on the planning phase and stop there).

So I'm not sure we WERE that incompatible overall. I am positive, however, that we needed to split due to different life goals. But overall, while it definitely took me a few months to get used to this guy, once we learned to accommodate each other a bit, well, we got along great the vast majority of the time, and I suspect we'll continue to be friends for a long time to come.


Oh as others have mentioned - he's very pro guns and owned 2 (I found that disturbing) -- is that an ENTJ thing too?