Do you respond to depressed individuals with hostility?

[Antediluvian]

I read something in a psychology textbook that made me wonder, do you see yourself as responding to depressed individuals with hostility, depression, or anxiety?

 

[Hadoblado]

A mix of the three + indifference =D

 

[EyeSeeCold]

No, what did you read?

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

I address all with hostility.

 

[Tempestas]

I think I either avoid them so as not to aggravate my own, or find myself fascinated and immerse myself in their thinking so as to better understand my own.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I don't react that way personally. However, when expressing depressing things, I am often met with surprisingly potent hostility. Apparently happily talking about the sheer size of the universe and our irrelevance is enough to piss many people off.

I once told a family member that being in Las Vegas elicited in me a most complete sense of despair and desperation (not from gambling, just from observing the city and its people) and was yelled at for the better part of an hour.... for being depressing.

I do not understand this response, but I'm well aware of it.

sidenote:
I do not consider myself depressed.

 

[Akuma]

I don't know if I respond to others who have depression in a hostile manner.

I don't really talk to others about my dysthymia due to the last person I talked to, told me I was faking it for attention.
Not a very pleasant response.

I would think telling someone you have depression would be almost similar to coming out.

 

[snafupants]

I guess anxiety. At once I want to help but I'd rather not become infected. Maybe depression (very mild) provided I can't make any dint or inroads on their saturnine mood. For someone whom I care for bolstering moods is an important thing but otherwise self-interest or trepidation usually prevails. Actually I might respond with hostility, at least internally, if I felt that they were rebuffing good advice in order to prolong their doom and gloom state. I get pissed off when my mother pulls those stunts.

 

[Antediluvian]

A mix of the three + indifference =D

That probably is a fairly common strategy

I guess anxiety. At once I want to help but I'd rather not become infected. Maybe depression (very mild) provided I can't make any dint or inroads on their saturnine mood. For someone whom I care for bolstering moods is an important thing but otherwise self-interest or trepidation usually prevails. Actually I might respond with hostility, at least internally, if I felt that they were rebuffing good advice in order to prolong their doom and gloom state. I get pissed off when my mother pulls those stunts.

I'm not too socially experienced, but this also seems common. Fleeting pangs of sympathy and pity aside, most people seem to reserve any taxing effort for their loved ones, etc. Which probably makes sense in terms of overall mental health.

 

[PhoenixRising]

I respond to depressed individuals like I respond to everything else, with logic. I talk to them and try to help them figure out why they are depressed, and then think of solutions that would help them get over it.

Then they start to cry and call me cold... and then I feel bad and sometimes respond with hostility.

 

[pjoa09]

I give them the laptop-shooting-dad treatment.

 

[Proletar]

I usually make them laugh at their misfortune. Humour is much better than sadness and anger in dealing with bumps in the road.

 

[intpz]

Why not just leave them alone?

 

[Jennywocky]

I've suffered with some pretty hardcore depression. To me, depression itself isn't necessary something to be angry at it, it just "is" -- it's something that some people just have to deal with. The stigma attached to it still (although things have improved a lot since, let's say 50-60 years ago) is still negative... mostly when people don't understand it, so they take it to be laziness or defeatist or whatever. Things actually look very bleak when you're in the middle of it and even when you feel sane.

However, I do find myself irritable (moreso than if I hadn't had a history of depression) when I sense a truly defeatist attitude. I had to learn to take care of myself, in order to get through the depression, and I can tell the difference between someone who is trying to figure things out but is just confused and waylaid by the depression vs someone who has just given up completely and isn't even bothering anymore. This certainly doesn't mean you're supposed to "be chipper" and "perk up," that's unrealistic, or that you'll always have energy to make continual progress; but there are those looking for a way through vs those looking for an excuse, and now especially after I've been there myself and was tempted to give up / had to fight off that temptation, and so I can recognize those categories, sometimes I can get frustrated with people who aren't even trying.

 

[Cogwulf]

I feel hostility towards depressed people, but this is because I'm seeing myself in them. I realise this and avoid actually responding to them with hostility.

 

[Puffy]

I think I've always tried to respond with sympathy, though the only people with depression I've known have been family or friends so maybe it's a little different to acquaintences. Depression seems almost hereditary in my family, I was the most well off at home that way, so I've become accustomed to looking after people. I'm not really afraid of pain, if there depression should resonate with me somehow then it would only mean there is something inside myself I havn't addressed properly yet. Dealing with pain ultimately leads to growth, in my experience.

I've had depression and remember appreciating an empathetic ear. The only thing is to make sure they don't become overly dependent. Not healthy. Depression is cured by action on their part, I think. There's an extent to which you can approach it with logic as well, but I think you also need to address them on their own terms. It can be a little alienating to people to put their personal emotions in an entirely rational context.

It's hard, sometimes I do well in those situations, sometimes I've floundered and had no idea what to do. I've been told a few times by friends that I have a healing quality though, it's probably one of my favourite things that someone has said to me.

 

[Vidi]

To tell the truth, I am not very good at recognizing or reading emotions, and I keep second guessing quite a lot. It can be I don't notice depression or anxiety in other people easily unless it's quite obvious, signs can be so easily misrepresented/misread. With friends and relatives I just take the listening part regardless of their frame of mind.
The only attitude or emotion of those three I recognize is hostility, and I try to keep away from hostile individuals. If I am confronted I just keep myself as detached as I can from situation in my responses/attitude.

 

[H1N1]

I had a long post and then I hit the back button.

Damn it.


I respond to hopelessness and woe is me with hostility.
There is a difference between being depressed and being hopeless and it is important to discern that distinction. As animals we have evolved with the subconscious mindset of survival of the fittest. For god's sake there is a game show based around this principle (the weakest link). Someone who is hopeless we naturally treat with an air of hostility because they are the weakest link, they hold back the rest of humanity, etc... and we do not wish to risk ourselves in order to save someone that does not want to be saved. Welcome to the animal kingdom. If you do not like this, join the lichen.