Crying

[flow]

When was the last time you cried? What brought it about?

I've found myself becoming increasingly emotional, I mean to the point that I feel like I could cry just by listening to songs, hearing Obama speak, reading the news, etc. Of course, I don't actually get to the point of tears, but my eyes might well up a bit.. The last time I actually cried, and I mean all out/can't stop was a few years ago at a college party late at night after having a serious conversation with one of my best friends. I was a little drunk for sure, and I just broke down and started bawling. ANYWAYS, as a kid I had a serious problem with crying, I'd cry anytime I saw an animal get hurt or anytime my sister said something mean to me... I was very sensitive up until 6th grade or so, and then I become stone cold and stopped crying almost altogether. I cry so infrequently nowadays, I almost wish I COULD cry. I don't even know what it'd take at this point, but enough about me... what are your experiences?

 

[kantor1003]

"I cry so infrequently nowadays, I almost wish I COULD cry" I have always cried infrequently, so during recent times I have tried doing it for the sake of experiencing this old, forgotten emotion. I mentioned something along those lines in an earlier thread.

"Yesterday I emptied my vodka bottle listening to Requiem by mozart trying to get some kinda emotional response....and I did (music is awesome that way). Something interesting happened though.. I sat there listening to this powerful piece, reading some depressing subjects , almost being able to cry (I cry so rarely, that I have, in recent times, tried to provoke crying just for the feeling of it), when I suddenly bursted out in laughter. I laughed at my own "patheticness". Sitting alone, drinking, listening to "sad" music, reading depressing subjects in a desperate attempt to get an emotional response."

So yeah, crying is something I recently have tried to force out just for the sake of experience any kind of strong emotion.

 

[Felan]

I welcome any chance to cry. Insurance commercials, movies, books, memories, witnessing a touching gesture, etc.

The only thing I don't welcome are emotional pleas to sway me in a decision. In those instances I react negatively to plea, becoming more intractable. I didn't realize for a long time that I was still being emotional, but after pondering it I'm actually fine with that.

I cry fairly easily for emotional scenes/moments of others. When it comes to my own instances the well dries up for some reason. To be honest it puzzles me why I am this way, but I'm comfortable with it.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

About 5 years ago when my dad had a heart attack. He survived but when you first hear about it...

 

[cheese]

Pffft. Men don't cry.

------> That's a man.

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

Crying is especially good when you have a girl that you can cry on the shoulder of...

I've cried in the last month.

Smoking weed helped me cry and become more emotionally in general.

 

[Ermine]

I cried about a month and a half ago. However, it's hardly a good thing. It seems I only cry out of frustration. What I wouldn't give to cry in response to music, literature, an "emotional" happening, even sadness for all I care. Just not frustration or anger.

I'm not to the point of trying to elicit crying yet but I'm thinking about it...

 

[Latro]

Last time that I thoroughly remember myself crying was December 2007. I've had little depressive dips since then, though, so the last time was probably more recent than that. The release can be nice occasionally (better than wallowing in pent-up frustration/despair) but it's still not a good experience overall. Even afterward, despite the little lift you get after finishing.

"I cry so infrequently nowadays, I almost wish I COULD cry" I have always cried infrequently, so during recent times I have tried doing it for the sake of experiencing this old, forgotten emotion. I mentioned something along those lines in an earlier thread.

"Yesterday I emptied my vodka bottle listening to Requiem by mozart trying to get some kinda emotional response....and I did (music is awesome that way). Something interesting happened though.. I sat there listening to this powerful piece, reading some depressing subjects , almost being able to cry (I cry so rarely, that I have, in recent times, tried to provoke crying just for the feeling of it), when I suddenly bursted out in laughter. I laughed at my own "patheticness". Sitting alone, drinking, listening to "sad" music, reading depressing subjects in a desperate attempt to get an emotional response."

So yeah, crying is something I recently have tried to force out just for the sake of experience any kind of strong emotion.

Didn't somebody (maybe you) post basically this exact same thing fairly recently?

 

[Artifice Orisit]

I cried yesterday when I opened a can of Pepsi that had been shaken up, tried to stop it spilling by drinking what was coming out really quickly, inhaled & coughed, and ended up with Pepsi in my sinuses.
So there I sat, crying uncontrollably, and laughing at my own misfortune.

Beyond that, I don't remember the last time I cried.

 

[flow]

He actually said in the very post you quoted that he had written it before in a previous thread.

 

[sagewolf]

I find myself crying bizarrely often lately. The specific thing that made me well up most recenrtly was hearing from my mom (background: I just moved out) that she looks forward to Sundays specifically because that's when we talk on the phone. That got me. I didn't cry outright, but I did well up.

About 5 years ago when my dad had a heart attack. He survived but when you first hear about it...

I can imagine how that felt-- my mother's sister and father's brother are respectively dying of bone cancer and hemiplegic because of a stroke, both from conditions that run ni the family. Both are in their fifties; my parents are only 10 years younger. Recently that struck me... as well as exactly how short 10 years is. That...was the other recent time I cried, when I thought about suddenly not having one of them anymore--- soon.

 

[Cavallier]

Like Ermine I only ever cry out of frustration. I try to find a quiet spot with no one around and stomp around a bit and cry. When I'm sad I just get really quiet or go the other way and get a bit manic but I don't cry.

I think that crying out of frustration is a hold over from childhood to a certain extent. I've been working on kicking the habit.

So many people see a woman crying as either proof that women as a whole are weak or see it as manipulative. I'm not weak nor manipulative so I try to not cry in an attempt to prove those kinds of people wrong. It's a unfortunate that I feel the need to avoid crying in order to fight misogyny.

 

[Agent Intellect]

I can't remember the last time I cried. According to my parents, I've always been good about not crying, even as a baby. My mom once joked that if any of the three kids (me, my brother, or my sister) was going to get sick, they'd rather it was me, because I never complained. I honestly can't even remember the last time I felt overwhelmingly sad about anything - a bit meloncholy quite often (I'm quite convinced I suffer from dysthymia) but not so much sad or emotional enough to bring me to tears.

And I don't mean this to sound like I'm very stoic and manly (but God knows I'm a real stud) because I do think it's probably good for people to be able to be moved emotionally enough to cry, and it just doesn't seem like something I'm capable of.

 

[echoplex]

I haven't officially* cried in many years. I tear up quite a bit though, but never enough to actually cry. I just don't like to let tears escape my eyes because it's messy and it gets my sinuses going, which is very annoying. I have no problem with emotion though; I can just do without anything that displays it.

I am usually very numb though. Sad news doesn't make me sad until months later when it REALLY hits me. Until then, I'm unable to process it and I feel nothing, which confuses others. So I guess that's another reason why I rarely cry.

* not including allergies and cutting onions. I mean, physically it's the same, and I'm VERY sensitive when it comes to irritants.

 

[flow]

Haha I'm the same way, I mean my eyes water every single day due to allergies, yawning, and whatnot.. but rarely are they emotionally induced. And I could hear almost anything that's terribly sad and it would still take me days/months/years to properly react. The only way I could conceivably cry on informational impact would be the death of a friend/family member. And even then.. I'm sure it'd take me a few days to really accept the whole situation and face the reality of it.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Well if we're talking about tearing up, my eyes water whenever I yawn. No one seems to believe me on that because it doesn't seem to make sense, but if I yawn and don't immediately wipe my eyes, tears will fall down each cheek in about ten seconds.

 

[Waterstiller]

I have short bursts of crying fairly regularly. I tear up probably once a weak. Full on crying (>5 minutes) happens every couple of months. Wasn't always this way; the last couple years have torn away most of my armor.

Last time was while watching Dead Like Me. Mostly when I cry it's because of the 'good sad' things.

 

[Madoness]

Pffft. Men don't cry.

------> That's a man.

We don't actually... these tears are to clean and lubricate our eyes. It just so happens, they start to come when we are in an emotional state

According to a study of over 300 adults, on average, men cry once every month, and women cry at least five times per month, especially before and during the menstrual cycle, when crying can increase up to 5 times the normal rate, often without obvious reasons (such as depression or sadness). In many cultures, it is more socially acceptable for women and children to cry than with men.

 

[kantor1003]

Didn't somebody (maybe you) post basically this exact same thing fairly recently?

Yes, I also mentioned it in my post "I mentioned something along those lines in an earlier thread.". So, I just copied it in here.. Maybe lazy, talentless of me...but it was about the most recent episode where I wanted to cry, so I thought it would fit.. and it did, in a way

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Like a few people have already said; I only really cry out of frustration. I have an intense aversion to crying in front of people; and I haven't done so since I was child. It's quite beyond me how people cry in front of others, or why they use it for manipulation. Supposedly it's shameful for men to cry; but I feel that way as well. Only in regards to myself though; I have no problem with other crying people; male or female.

I've become a bit of an audiophile (ty Flow) this past year, and a particularly moving sound can make me cry. Music has always amazed me that way. It has this unique ability to communicate emotion; far more so than any other medium.

 

[nemo]

I cry more often than I'd like. I think I'm an emotional person. I don't mind being emotional, but I hate it when I cry, because more often than not it's in front of others.

The last time I really cried was when I was doing detention with a teacher. I had bent down to do up my shoe, and bam, the tears came flowing out. Thinking about it now, I think I've cried in front of quite a few of my teachers...and friends, and strangers... I really hate myself for that, because I don't want to seem 'weak'. Although maybe I am.

In general, it's moving things that make me cry, e.g. music; a sweet or depressing scene; a tragic event. Sometimes it's just the thought of the hopelessness of the world/human beings. *sigh*

 

[didyouknow]

Last time I cried was a combination of shock/disgust because my brother betrayed me, and then in the same day my mother made me feel guilty about my reaction. I think it was because I had not been reacting to his provoking for a long time and then suddenly it went too far and everything I had stored up suddenly came crashing down.

I'm also particularly susceptible to really good music and well-made sad movies (especially if they were based on a true story).

 

[Zero]

When I'm worn out and such I cry fairly often at little stupid things. Or I get "teary".

It's not even a strong emotion for me, I think it's just the result of my horrible health. Like my body crying at how I don't care of it...

Then again, I know my body pretty well and it's pretty much the same pattern month after month. Suddenly I feel horny and more emotional in general, I start getting hungry all the time (crave sweets and protein). Then I become dead tired for about a week. For about two weeks out of the month I guess I feel fairly "normal". So it seems to me it could easily be all due to that double X factor.

 

[Beat Mango]

Crying at my own misfortune, yeah that's pretty much what I do I guess. Anger at my fate turns to anguish. I balled my eyes out in front of my family a few weeks ago.

 

[Carnap]

Two days ago. I was on vacation for six weeks and the night before I left a stupid mouse jumped in my open balcony window, that stupid bastard and I had to catch a plane the next day. My friend waited three weeks to come catch it even though he has all week ends free. The mouse pooped in my house !

Not to sound spoiled, but that is so gross.

I also cry a lot for other reasons, too. Honestly, it is nothing foreign to me.

 

[Death]

Last time I 'truly' cried probably when I was 12 years old which is approxiamately 8 years ago.I do feel intense emotion at times,but I just weep or sneer ,but I noticed something strange,changing inside me,things that were once unemotional now seems to work it's charm into myself. Does INTPs became more emotional as they age?

 

[Cogwulf]

I haven't cried for years, every time I've felt close to crying, the feeling suddenly turns to anger, then when I can't find nothing to be angry towards or no reason to feel angry I calm down and go back to normal

Does INTPs became more emotional as they age?

I don't think we gain any emotion we didn't have before, but I think we do understand our emotions better as we age and so become more relaxed about allowing ourselves to feel emotions

 

[Ermine]

I haven't cried for years, every time I've felt close to crying, the feeling suddenly turns to anger, then when I can't find nothing to be angry towards or no reason to feel angry I calm down and go back to normal

Hmm. This sequence is actually what gets me crying. Like I mentioned, I usually only cry out of frustration. It starts only as a lump in the throat and my voice cracking up. Then I get angry at myself for getting emotional over whatever the issue is, which results in actual tears. Then I get embarrassed and even more angry with myself in an attempt to hide the all too apparent tears. Then I get really sad that it had to come to that as well as the fact that I only cry because I'm angry at myself. My inner critic is making me cry. That's just wrong...

 

[snowqueen]

I have always cried a lot on my own - I cried myself to sleep almost every night for years until I was about 20. But it took me years to be able to cry in front of someone else. I used to be very locked in with my emotions - if I felt upset I couldn't even speak. I didn't really cry when my father died and I think I only really cried and grieved properly for him last year which was 25 years after. But if I see films where the father is dying it makes me cry. I now cry a lot in films - the sad, and the 'happy sad'. The last film that made me cry was a children's film called 'Bridge to Terabithia' because something shocking happened. I cried for half an hour and embarrassed my kids. If any of you have seen it you'll know what bit I mean. Recently I cried a lot when I broke up with my new boyfriend because he treated me really meanly and it mirrored stuff my mother did when I was a child.

I used to cry when I lost my temper but now I just kick ass!

 

[Ermine]

The last film that made me cry was a children's film called 'Bridge to Terabithia' because something shocking happened.

That one makes me well up every time. Why did the girl have to die? She was awesome.

 

[cheese]

ermine:


Just...what? What the fuck? What?


Clearly snowqueen was trying to prevent spoilers. Good lord. I can only hope that was some kind of twisted joke. Please tell me there are no girls in Bridge to wherever-the-hell-it-is.

*edit
No hard feelings btw.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

lol

me? CRY?! sometimes. for instance, every time i have a conversation with someone else or myself about just how shitty i really am (i know )

some songs bring some tears to my eyes. most recently
YouTube- Nick Drake - Things Behind the Sun

especially bearing in mind he suffered from depression and insomnia and commited suicide via anti-depressant overdose (at least, suspected suicide) but still....it is a wonderful song

 

[Minuend]

I rarely cry, my emotions are usually quite neutral and controllable- somewhat. I have been on the verge of crying from frustration/ anger too. It is horribly annoying to start tearing up when I'm trying to shout at someone.

But, lately, I've been very emotional. I don't know why, but the other day I started crying for no reason. And since then I've been kinda "almost- crying" a lot. I think perhaps it has something to do with the meaningless of my existence. I think I'm starting to get over it, though, I feel more normal now.

Oh, and I could never cry in front of anyone! I don't understand how that's possible!

Actually, I do find my emotions somewhat fascinating. I do enjoy the occasional sad movie. But I need to know that I'm all alone and that nobody will be visiting me for a while. If there's any chance that people show up, I won't cry at all.

 

[Zero]

What's with a weird fear of mice? I guess I'm use to them. I'll pick them up by the tail and toss them away. They're all over the place, they don't scare me. Nor do spiders.

 

[sagewolf]

Last time I 'truly' cried probably when I was 12 years old which is approxiamately 8 years ago.I do feel intense emotion at times,but I just weep or sneer ,but I noticed something strange,changing inside me,things that were once unemotional now seems to work it's charm into myself. Does INTPs became more emotional as they age?

I'm around the same age as you, and I've noticed the same thing. I don't know why my mind is being so weird right now. Maybe being on my own just finally broke my poor brain.

(On crying alone-- I actually hide in the bathroom if I feel like I'mgoing to cry.Even though there's no-one else in the house. Yeeeeahh. )

 

[Zero]

They say INTPs tend to take emotions like blips of full force or not at all. But being emotional isn't necessarily a trait of Feeling, though most people easily confuse it.

Emotions are somewhat complicated. They're highly affected by external environment, as well as hormones and the like. Supposedly, we could make ourselves happy just by smiling. Our body will release endorphins. It's not strange to think the opposite is true too. There's also the fact that sometimes people can get use to having a prolonged pain and forget they're in pain. This can make a person severely depressed.

 

[Yellow]

I've never been much of a cryer. But I've always had subdued emotions in general. Its not a depression thing, I've had that before and I felt absolutly nothing. I just have emotions in a lower magnitude when compared to others. Completely unrealistic idealism gets me a bit misty-eyed. Like the end of arctic fishing in Happy Feet, or the most of the stuff produced by the Flobots.

 

[Carnap]

And I just cried again coming home from the grocery store about how vain, pathetic and empty the French are.

God I wish someone would help me get out of this country. Never been patriotic until I moved to France.

 

[Zero]

And here I thought Americans were bad enough.

Are you sure it's not something lost in translation?

 

[Venture]

The last time I cried, was when I going to sleep a few years ago, I noticed that I was far behind in school, and I started crying....

And now I am anything but emotions, I be like "I'm angry?" "Hell naw" and then I am no longer angry, because what am I angry at?

Wasting an evening by trying install a simple mod? hm?

Not so much reason.

Not so much meaning.

16 voted for within a month since they have cried.....
"over emotional"

*stifles laguhter*

Did you cry during the MTV V M A's?

Dat had to be the gayest thing I have watched since I watched the MTV Movie Awards... just a few months ago.

 

[Carnap]

And here I thought Americans were bad enough.

Are you sure it's not something lost in translation?

Vanity does not need to be translated.

There could be some culture shock that probabl won't ever go away. But I speak fluently, it's just the whole being vain and not giving a shit about your neighbors or fellow human beings that I can't get used to.

 

[snowqueen]

Emotions are somewhat complicated. They're highly affected by external environment, as well as hormones and the like. Supposedly, we could make ourselves happy just by smiling. Our body will release endorphins.

This is very true - I actually tried it and it works. Basically you have to grin - your mouth must go up at the sides and your eyes wrinkle. Brain scans show a release of happy hormones. The programme I watched suggested that if you do this a lot then you feel happier in general. I tried it in the car on the way to and from work (20 minutes each way) every day for a full month as an experiment and it really did work. I then started 'prescribing' it to my mental health clients and loads of them reported a similar effect. I also try to laugh at least once a day - watching comedy or having a ridiculous conversation with my co-worker (also INTP, also with a hideously warped sense of humour). I think I might have overdone it a bit at one point though!

But emotions are interesting - especially the link to thoughts and memories. When I teach, I try to provoke the students emotions to get them to learn - not in a negative way I hasten to add and not aggressively. But I use stories - TV clips, texts or interviews which elicit an emotional response, or I get the students to do things that may be a bit challenging. Being a student in itself is quite challenging to the emotions so it's about using that positively - and the purpose is always to give the student more confidence in themselves and what they are doing so they seem to like it. I get pretty good evaluations anyway ...

 

[Waterstiller]

The last film that made me cry was a children's film called 'Bridge to Terabithia' because something shocking happened. I cried for half an hour and embarrassed my kids. If any of you have seen it you'll know what bit I mean.

I know what you mean. I cried for about the same length of time on that one.

Great film though. Made me cry just like Brokeback Mountain did.


And Ermine:

Spoiler

Spoiler tags!!! :P

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

16 voted for within a month since they have cried.....
"over emotional"

*stifles laguhter*

I get the feeling that you're from INTPcentral? Either way, I think you would enjoy it more over there.

 

[EditorOne]

I cry when I read Dan Brown's writing. Not emotionally, but despairingly. It's proof there is no God for someone like that to be successful writer.

Other than that, not so much.... like others, emotion used to get the best of me and out of all proportion to the stimulus, especially when I was a teen. But now I'm so cynical, cerebral and defensive my responses are almost manufactured so I can "pass" in normal society.

 

[Venture]

I cry when I read Dan Brown's writing. Not emotionally, but despairingly. It's proof there is no God for someone like that to be successful writer.

Other than that, not so much.... like others, emotion used to get the best of me and out of all proportion to the stimulus, especially when I was a teen. But now I'm so cynical, cerebral and defensive my responses are almost manufactured so I can "pass" in normal society.

Am I 'ahead' of the 'game' EditorOne?

Maybe someone as wise an fulfilled as yourself would maybe understand what I am doing.

That is just a rough judgment though

 

[Claverhouse]

Vanity does not need to be translated.

There could be some culture shock that probabl won't ever go away. But I speak fluently, it's just the whole being vain and not giving a shit about your neighbors or fellow human beings that I can't get used to.

Very true; there are fundamental differences between American/European ways of thought ( and between those and any other major grouping, of course ). In general one might say Americans tend far more to friendliness, with it's associated extreme of psychosis; whilst Euros have colder, more cautious natures honed by thousands of years of distrusting each other ( although there are pan-european understandings which go far beyond nationality: a distaste for idealism and noble aims creates a shared weariness for American diktats ).


One such culture shock was the widely reported incident when the US president pleaded with President Chirac in 2003 via telephone to provide troops for the Second Saddamite War, pointing out forcefully that: “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”

This reasoning, which would be perfectly understandable in an American context dropped like a lead weight in the water past the French --- who in any case had no intention of doing anything so silly as having their men die to get rid of Saddam ( whom they rather admired anyway --- whereas they didn't admire George W. that much --- and who was a respected and lucrative business partner ) --- particularly past a French politician world-renowned for never doing anything except to the benefit of Jacques Chirac.

To both parties the incident was a shock. Americans were furious and vengeful that their reasoning had been dismissed --- and soon took it out by banning French products, renaming French foods, but not in this case as earlier bombing French Embassies. They, believers in religious things: the US Constitution, The Bible, Universal Brotherhood and Prepositional Nations were hurt and confused that their gift of rational prophecy was rejected by the French, who though are believers in French Cuisine, The Code Napoleon, The French Language über alles, and the Nation as Extended Relations.

Chirac did his poor best by commissioning scholars to work out what George Bush was talking about; something the American Press never got once around to ever doing; but still chose not to “turn thee back, and put hooks into thy jaws”.

Not that it alters with a change of presidency... President Obama, a devout christian who spent twenty years in the Reverend Wright's Church --- although the little slitherer explained he had never actually been listening when the time came to chuck his old pastor under a bus --- may have big plans for converting Iran into the paths of righteousness, so we could still see: "and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.”


In the end neither was wrong: it just comes down to different mindsets...



Claverhouse

 

[Tunesimah]

My Mom passed away about two years ago. That really made me cry. Now any media can get to me if there is a sad passing or a happy family moment. I wasn't exactly like this before, it would get to me... now it'll get some light tears out of me.

I don't have any one in my life that I really feel comfortable emotionally letting go with. I'm too intellectual with family, and we aren't really a touchy/feely bunch. When my Mom passed away I really had a desire for emotion support... to be emotional with in a way that I can't be emotional with others. I probably could get very emotionally if I could let go, but I just can't let go around those around me.

Not to say that my family was cold, but it felt like I needed a specific companion to release all my thoughts and feelings to. People don't realize I have this need, and I don't exactly like showing that I have this need either.

 

[Venture]

My Mom passed away about two years ago. That really made me cry. Now any media can get to me if there is a sad passing or a happy family moment. I wasn't exactly like this before, it would get to me... now it'll get some light tears out of me.

I don't have any one in my life that I really feel comfortable emotionally letting go with. I'm too intellectual with family, and we aren't really a touchy/feely bunch. When my Mom passed away I really had a desire for emotion support... to be emotional with in a way that I can't be emotional with others. I probably could get very emotionally if I could let go, but I just can't let go around those around me.

Not to say that my family was cold, but it felt like I needed a specific companion to release all my thoughts and feelings to. People don't realize I have this need, and I don't exactly like showing that I have this need either.

"Today a homosexual man died of aids, his family have planned a funeral in San Fransisco, it is estimated it will cost a lot of money to transport the body from their home in New Jersey, to the gay infested gardens of San Fransisco"

"In other news, a man has shot and killed a little girl at the age of 5, officers were able to shoot the man in the legs before he had a chance to put his mouth under the little girls leg, the man then shot and killed the 5 year old girl, and killed himself."

"Someones house burnt down"

"A young woman was held captive as a human sex toy for 5 and a half months"

"The African American race AKA N*ggers, have started a fued against country Music"

"A report today claims that a young INTP male wishes of being touched by his family, sexually"

 

[Kidege]

In the end neither was wrong: it just comes down to different mindsets...

Am I to understand you don't have a position about it? For a moment there it looks like you understand the Bush-ian POV quite well, but you don't exactly support it.

What are Prepositional Nations?

(And I suppose the Laicité could count as a French belief.)