Brainfreeze

[conflict]

No, I'm not talking about ice-cream.
I've realised that whenever I'm faced with a display of strong emotions (e.g. someone crying), my mind tends to, well, freeze. I have no idea what to do. It's probably because of our inferior Fe. But knowing that doesn't help. I need a solution. Especially when a person asks me to do something when they're really angry. If I don't comply, they get angrier. If I agree to do it, then I don't know what to do, because I'm having a brainfreeze and can't think.
Any suggestions?

 

[citrusbreath95]

Kill them and run.

But if that doesn't suit you, you could always force yourself to listen nearly as if it is a challenge of a sort. I literally will use it as a sort of exercise to expand my mind and understanding of how I view the world. I listen to someone experiencing deep emotions; and whether it affects me or not, I will use such noted actions to determine how people function and how best to work around them. You learn a lot more of society and individuals in general that way. So I think your best bet is to view it as a kind of self proposed test rather than a duty. An option done out of your own personal whim of investigation. Think of it as opening a book to many different concepts. But instead of a book it's a person, and the problems just get more complex the further you go into it. Yet such complexities make for some rather strenuous thinking; which is fun as it's challenging. And the more work put into solving something that you initially didn't comprehend, the more you get out of it in the end. Overall, I completely understand what you're saying as I get exactly the same way. Though you just have to treat it as another one of life's challenges to be solved rationally and creatively.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Practice. And practice some more. And learn from your mistakes.

Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it's going.

Dave

 

[SpaceYeti]

Punch them in the throat.

 

[Felan]

"Big Bang Theory" would have you ackwardly pat them on the shoulder going, "There there, Sheldon is here."

Tell that their *insert emotion* is hard for you process what they are *asking/saying* you to do and you need a moment to collect yourself.

Once you get a moment, take a very brief time to try and discern if the *inserted emotion* originated from you or if you are just caught in the wake of it, but if its not immediately clear proceed to the next step.

Ask them, "I can be really dense, did I do something to cause this *inserted emotion*?" Either way you can explore that but taking what they say and reflecting it back slightly differently as a question. If you did something that cause the emotion you can apologize and assert that you will the thing they asked you to do. If you are not the cause then you can assert that while you understand they are *inserted emotion* it isn't fair for them to catch you in the wake of it but if it will help you will gladly do the requested thing.

I think it is very important to establish that you don't find acceptable that they are catching you in the wake of *inserted emotion*. You can be sympathetic of course, but what someone is feeling gives them no soverignity over you and asserting that they are pushing against a boundary of yours is a path to better communication down the road. No emotion, not even grief, is an entitlement to treat someone badly. Many people think it is but while it might difficult I think it is important to express that they are doing something to you that is unacceptable to you. If you don't then it starts a behavior that will reinforce itself into a deep rut that the relationship (friend, family, romantic, work, or whatever the relationship is) will naturally fall into. They will do this thing with increasing frequency because it worked, even if it makes them miserable that they did it.