i'm on the same page as synthetix. i've tripped mushrooms twice, each of which was awe-inspiring, erratic, and so humanly raw. mind you, i am usually a reserved, insensitive, chem-majoring-wikipedia-whoring analyzer, but what may come off my keyboard as hippie-inspired-bullshittery very much encompasses the nature of what i experienced.
the last trip i had started with nihilistic and suicidal confusion as i was lost and trying to find my way to my crew's campsite for what seemed like forever at a folk festival. it ended with a beautiful, starry sky and northern.fucking.lights after bumping into an old, close friend who i had grown far from after some painful shit got in the way of our friendship. i hadn't seen him in almost a year, and we just kind of laid down and talked for a really long time holding hands and admiring the same sky we all know and share. and then father sun came up and relinquished the minor inconvenience that was the cold.
first time was at an intimate "mushroom party" at my friend's trippy house. we started out as a group of eight people, but it turned into a madhouse of five little kids after two of our friends braced the cold, snowy weather because they "wanted to watch a movie". the rest of us stayed inside and ran around like such as:
with my friend's dog. a friend of mine gave into oral fixations with beads (no joke o.O), while somebody else shoved her hand into friend A's mouth to pull it out so that she wouldn't choke, all while friend A had to resist the urge to bite down lol. and then there was the dungeon master INFP who humbly took a moderate dose and had his video camera to record the whole thing (we haven't watched it to this day three years later, but i look forward to that nostalgia). some few hours later we realized friend number six (INTP, btw) seemed to have disappeared. upon looking for him and finding him in the attic in a pitch black room with finger lights, he told us to "go away because this is extremely important" to him. he was trying to induce a transcending trance to experience spirituality or something.
at one point, i decided i needed to be alone so i hogged the bathroom. i closed my eyes, and all the pretty psychedelic colors turned to black clouds as i thought about my middle school experience, which involved lots of bullying and all-around being the black sheep. so i cried until forgiveness and peace set in with a rainbow of pretty colors. then i came down to my friend's inviting room to find everybody throwing cards at each other and laughing in a euphoric fit. this went on for a good while until the movie go-ers came back crying after getting lost in the cold trying to walk to a suburban movie theatre. they called up a friend for a ride who had trouble finding them because the directions were based upon obscure landmarks. they took warm showers and then all was good as we tried to make coffee. it took us forever to figure out how many mugs we needed (seven). after the successful team effort of distributing coffee was accomplished, silence was had as we all enjoyed the warmth of the communal happy vibe. then somebody pointed out that "everything just. . . is," to which somebody else responded "no quantifying." then we giggled thinking about how silly it felt counting and distributing coffee mugs.
yeah, mushrooms. =x i myself am huge fiend for ecstasy, like the objective ego-death and the deep, concise insight that LSD offers. but, man oh man, those mushrooms are something else. did i get anything out of it besides solidifying already-valued friendships and painting beautiful memories? idk, hard to say. i've become more grounded and live-and-let-live at the expense of losing passion for certain ideals and issues, but it's very hard to tell if mushrooms played a role in this, though i suspect they did.
pot (and to a much lesser extent alcohol) takes a huge toll on my psyche though, i find. but yeah, everybody's brain chemistry is different, and there's no way to know that psychedelics WON'T harm you. =/ hell, one of the friends i just mentioned had a panic attack induced by ecstasy of all things.
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