Ask BAP

[BigApplePi]

I understand. I was a little wary that these questions could be perceived as a little bit too personal, sorry.

Any X who ventures creating an "Ask X" thread must be open to personal Q's. It can be the measure of a person how well they answer. I admire the job Architect (@Architect) is doing.

Oh....I feel a little saddened by this. It emphasises the notion that many people who seemingly have the 'dream job' and make good money may still not be content with the outcomes of their lives...by the time they have reached that point in their lives they may be tied into mortgages and family commitments.

A job doesn't have to be a dream job. Mine wasn't. I made a satisfactory living and didn't spend much. I looked for things outside the job and in finding them, I valued my job more because it made them possible.

I took a couple of temporary jobs after I retired from the big one and had a ball with both of them.

Don't get me wrong; I am not at all assuming this is how your life is or even how you feel...you may be quite content by now and I personally think what you contribute with your mind here far more valuable. External things are important; however, I don't look at 'achievements' in the same way as others. I view success as something independent of external achievements.

If I can contribute here I would be pleased, but sometimes I make mistakes. I wouldn't call myself "content" in my life now. That sounds like I'm laying back in an easy chair. I'm very active in many ways and am enjoying it ... absolutely love retirement. My only doubts are not having had children or taking any social leadership role as my sister does. I have very mixed feelings about that.

A successful person is at large content with their lives, despite their perceived shortcomings. If we avoid forming strong attachments to our dreams we will not 'fail'. But I can very well understand your disappointment as a younger person. I was gutted for a long time that I couldn't become a musician, for example. But I have found other means of cultivating my love for music, and have found expression through other means. And even if I had become a professional musician, my introvertedness and reluctance to perform would have been a problem...much like your own predicament.

Can you say more about what your musical ambitions are/were? I think it important for all to reach a place of acceptance for these things of ambition.

However, when you have discovered the beauty of mathematics in the way you did, only to have to let go of it.....I don't know...I think I can understand, maybe.

Mathematics as an art from will always be there for me. I only dropped the vocational aspect. I just need to find the time to resume appreciation ... that book lying on my table right there ...

Yes, thank you. I find these very interesting.

I can also relate to your point about guidance. I wasn't very challenged at school. With the educational system in my home country, there is a policy of getting all pupils to the same level of knowledge, regardless of their capabilities. This level was quite low. As I seemed to have no problems, noone attempted to push me harder as I was already doing fine, and well beyond that. I got a lot of unwanted attention, though, which made me attempt to hide my abilities in order to blend in better.

That statement has me wondering if as a woman you find a conflict there: achievement versus avoiding competition. Here in the U.S. it appears there is a growing acceptance of female achievement.

I wish I had grown up in a more competitive environment, I think I would have pursued music and science earlier on, and not given up as soon as something didn't 'click' straight away. I wasn't accustomed to challenges, and when I didn't 'get' something straight away, I thought I was stupid (didn't help that my older brother was declared a genius).

There you go. Your older brother was uh a male! I wonder if that made a difference. I have a younger sister who has quite a different story.

So I grew up thinking I was different and stupid, while I excelled at school....

I therefore had mediocre aims early on as I was worried about failing.

As for my ambitions...I don't even know what they are any more. I have nearly finished a second degree, but I'm at the point where I'm questioning the value of it. I have hit another point of disillusionment...hoping that too, will pass.

This is a subject for conversation but I can't think of what to say at this time. Anyone else, especially a female, wishes to comment on this? ... maybe a new thread?

 

[TimeAsylums]

If I can contribute here I would be pleased, but sometimes I make mistakes. I wouldn't call myself "content" in my life now. That sounds like I'm laying back in an easy chair. I'm very active in many ways and am enjoying it ... absolutely love retirement. My only doubts are not having had children or taking any social leadership role as my sister does. I have very mixed feelings about that.

First post here at Ask @BAP,

Feelings on not having children, since you're 'older' now? Would be a great vantage/view point.
So what are they?

 

[BigApplePi]

Feelings on not having children, since you're 'older' now? Would be a great vantage/view point.
So what are they?

They are all over this Forum. It's a heavy responsibility with lots of holes in the sieve. I can see something, but too much for me alone. You will all have to help out. Are you ready? Start your preparations.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

What happens when "INTP buildings" fall down?

 

[BigApplePi]

What happens when "INTP buildings" fall down?

You mean on the extremely rare occasion when that happens?

Answers:

1. God has pushed mother nature too far causing uncalled for and excessive bldg stress.

2. ExxJ's get very angry.

3. The INTP responsible publishes a 200 page explanation no one understands.

 

[doncarlzone]

If you were to run a workshop called "How To Be Human", what would be the five main topics?

 

[BigApplePi]

If you were to run a workshop called "How To Be Human", what would be the five main topics?

My. That is a Q that I never thought of to ask myself. My first reaction is would someone name an example topic to get me started? In lieu of no examples,

1. Have a utube video* of 5 minutes portraying some temperament type who portrays some situation exhibiting character flaws.
2. Have the workshop discuss this. Identify the flaws. Ask if they are ingrained or could have been avoided. Let the discussion run.
3. Continue with a different type** or situation and repeat 2.
4. End with a utube of what I think is an emotionally healthy person ... a segment of his/her life. Ask the group if this person is really healthy and why.
5. Ask the group this very Q and put it number 1 instead of 5, lol.

*A book or play wouldn't work unless all knew it.
**Change the person's sex, ethnicity, age as time is available. On 2nd thought change only the sex to make comparisons easier.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

I know why, what, but not how. I'm lost and don't really care for much of anything else in the world but knowledge, understanding, and a small amount of entertainment. I thought about what academic disciplines I found most important and what order may be the best to learn them.

Here's the order I think would be best but I'm not entirely sure about it and it could be changed if I received some other reason or insight:

Linguistics > Philosophy > Formal Sciences > Natural Sciences > Social Sciences (I only found Psychology, Economics, and a small subsection of Anthropology interesting)

How should I go about understanding all of these subjects before/without assistance? I'm going to go to college next year but I'm very impatient. I really want to get into philosophy and formal sciences. I'm so anxious that I'm thinking about skipping the linguistics. If I do that, in what order should I go for philosophy ? I was thinking: Epistemology>Logic>Metaphysics>Ontology>Ethics>Political. Should I even be thinking about the order and more importantly do you suggest one? I'm really interested in Physics and Computer Science too but I don't know where to start and if I should stomp my plan. I said I would start studying Computer Science but when I started I saw computer logic and went crazy for philosophy. After that, I thought I needed a logical plan because I wouldn't get anywhere with this jumpy Ne in the way.

 

[BigApplePi]

I know why, what, but not how. I'm lost and don't really care for much of anything else in the world but knowledge, understanding, and a small amount of entertainment. I thought about what academic disciplines I found most important and what order may be the best to learn them.

Here's the order I think would be best but I'm not entirely sure about it and it could be changed if I received some other reason or insight:

Linguistics > Philosophy > Formal Sciences > Natural Sciences > Social Sciences (I only found Psychology, Economics, and a small subsection of Anthropology interesting)

How should I go about understanding all of these subjects before/without assistance? I'm going to go to college next year but I'm very impatient. I really want to get into philosophy and formal sciences. I'm so anxious that I'm thinking about skipping the linguistics. If I do that, in what order should I go for philosophy ? I was thinking: Epistemology>Logic>Metaphysics>Ontology>Ethics>Political. Should I even be thinking about the order and more importantly do you suggest one? I'm really interested in Physics and Computer Science too but I don't know where to start and if I should stomp my plan. I said I would start studying Computer Science but when I started I saw computer logic and went crazy for philosophy. After that, I thought I needed a logical plan because I wouldn't get anywhere with this jumpy Ne in the way.

Yes. Jumpy Ne. How much time do you have? A year or so? Pace yourself.

In your place I would go for all you mentioned except linguistics. Start with what interests you the most taking a hint from any good book, utube or accidental mentor that passes your way. Try to survey them all and then after learning how they impact you, go over them again. You may survey but you can't ultimately go into them all. Your goal should be to lean on the one most practical one for you but too early to choose as you have your college years. Do you know how smart you are? How much you retain? Whether you are targeting academia versus industry versus playboy status? Take a broad view of philosophy. Think computer science for vocational reasons and because you might like it. That's as far as I can respond without knowing you.

Feel free to question my answer or ask AA or anyone to get another answer.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

Yes. Jumpy Ne. How much time do you have? A year or so? Pace yourself.

In your place I would go for all you mentioned except linguistics.

I'm not on any time limit I just want to have 'maximum prior understanding(?)'. Why not linguistics could it be a waste of time? I don't find it very interesting but I thought it would be beneficial to have the ability to use language and communicate my ideas in an advanced fashion. I have a basic understanding of language I guess that's all I need.

Do you know how smart you are? How much you retain? Whether you are targeting academia versus industry versus playboy status?

There's a way to measure how smart I am accurately? I have no clue how much I retain but it may not be very much because I can't remember the chemistry I learned 2 years ago. Not to worry though, I signed up for AP Chemistry this year to refresh. What do you mean by targeting industry? Philosophy piqued my interest for the playboy status at first but now I know about the Fe pull and how useful the subject is.

 

[BigApplePi]

I'm not on any time limit I just want to have 'maximum prior understanding(?)'. Why not linguistics could it be a waste of time? I don't find it very interesting but I thought it would be beneficial to have the ability to use language and communicate my ideas in an advanced fashion. I have a basic understanding of language I guess that's all I need.

Linguistics is okay to know a little but seems a specialty to me. I took up philosophy because it seemed to have the potential to help me understand the world in general. I read psychology magazines because they help me understand how we as human beings worked. I did not know these things in the beginning. Sociology and economics would help how large groups work.

There's a way to measure how smart I am accurately? I have no clue how much I retain but it may not be very much because I can't remember the chemistry I learned 2 years ago. Not to worry though, I signed up for AP Chemistry this year to refresh. What do you mean by targeting industry? Philosophy piqued my interest for the playboy status at first but now I know about the Fe pull and how useful the subject is.

I only ask that because it would determine your ambition. I say have fun learning things. You will see how far it takes you later.

By "industry" I really meant to take note of what knowledge would help you for a vocation. You want to have a vocation, don't you? Philosophy in the short term is more for fun ... not as practical as learning computer programming. But all that is up to you.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

By "industry" I really meant to take note of what knowledge would help you for a vocation. You want to have a vocation, don't you? Philosophy in the short term is more for fun ... not as practical as learning computer programming. But all that is up to you.

Careers considering: Mathematician, Computer Scientist, or some form of Electrical or Computer Engineering
Vocational topics: Formal Sciences, Physics, Applied Sciences (Architecture & Design, and Engineering), Economics
Playboy status or Academia: Linguistics, Philosophy, Chemistry, Space Science, Psychology, and Anthropology

Goodbye plan. Thanks BAP, it's all coming together now.

 

[doncarlzone]

My. That is a Q that I never thought of to ask myself. My first reaction is would someone name an example topic to get me started? In lieu of no examples,

1. Have a utube video* of 5 minutes portraying some temperament type who portrays some situation exhibiting character flaws.
2. Have the workshop discuss this. Identify the flaws. Ask if they are ingrained or could have been avoided. Let the discussion run.
3. Continue with a different type** or situation and repeat 2.
4. End with a utube of what I think is an emotionally healthy person ... a segment of his/her life. Ask the group if this person is really healthy and why.
5. Ask the group this very Q and put it number 1 instead of 5, lol.

*A book or play wouldn't work unless all knew it.
**Change the person's sex, ethnicity, age as time is available. On 2nd thought change only the sex to make comparisons easier.

Thank you for engaging in my thought experiment so eloquently.

It got me thinking about the saying: "Imagine how you would feel if that happened to you" used to teach kids empathy. Although in many instances this has a positive impact, it's just not good enough and I think it can have the exact opposite effect.

For example people with a natural strong sense of empathy get disappointed repeatedly. INFPs in general can relate to this as they often feel they give so much more than they get back, while an ESFJs probably wont care as they just love to take care of people anyway.

Although our emotions especially with oxytocin "boosts" make us more empathetic, I think the most rational form of empathy must be intellectual empathy. And that comes down to your workshop, the understanding of other people both emotionally and intellectually. Intellectually understanding other people's perception may trigger empathy you otherwise wont "feel".

"True empathy" would require you to know everything about the other person's background and personality which is impossible. I think this is, and will always be one of the main issues with humanity.

 

[QuickTwist]

What was your major?

 

[Goku]

what is love?

 

[BigApplePi]

What was your major?

Undergraduate math, graduated with honors but just barely. No secondary major.

Graduate, math.

 

[BigApplePi]

what is love?

I look for a general answer to a question like that. I would have trouble defining "love" as a standalone, saying it does not exist. That means I would define X loves Y instead. X is the subject who does love; Y is the object loved. This defines love as a relationship.

X loves Y = X is constructive for Y. This makes love a minimalist definition in the sense that is doesn't distinguish between other things that are constructive. Try this definition out and see how you like it. Note any examples where you don't like it and I'll see what I can do. Note also that my understanding is an INTJ wouldn't like it.

 

[Goku]

I look for a general answer to a question like that. I would have trouble defining "love" as a standalone, saying it does not exist. That means I would define X loves Y instead. X is the subject who does love; Y is the object loved. This defines love as a relationship.

X loves Y = X is constructive for Y. This makes love a minimalist definition in the sense that is doesn't distinguish between other things that are constructive. Try this definition out and see how you like it. Note any examples where you don't like it and I'll see what I can do. Note also that my understanding is an INTJ wouldn't like it.

so you took two paragraphs to say love is a verb, not a noun

never mind, give me some time to wrap my head around that definition.

okay, I'll need to know how you're using "constructive" in that context.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

X loves Y = X is constructive for Y. This makes love a minimalist definition in the sense that is doesn't distinguish between other things that are constructive. Try this definition out and see how you like it. Note any examples where you don't like it and I'll see what I can do. Note also that my understanding is an INTJ wouldn't like it.

Why do I know examples of unconstructive love? Isn't it love?
What would be your definition of constructivity here?

 

[BigApplePi]

so you took two paragraphs to say love is a verb, not a noun

OMG. Never thought of that. Noun form: The state of X being constructive for Y.

never mind, give me some time to wrap my head around that definition.

You have 5 minutes. No. Five years.

okay, I'll need to know how you're using "constructive" in that context.

Yes.

 

[Goku]

I look for a general answer to a question like that. I would have trouble defining "love" as a standalone, saying it does not exist. That means I would define X loves Y instead. X is the subject who does love; Y is the object loved. This defines love as a relationship.

X loves Y = X is constructive for Y. This makes love a minimalist definition in the sense that is doesn't distinguish between other things that are constructive. Try this definition out and see how you like it. Note any examples where you don't like it and I'll see what I can do. Note also that my understanding is an INTJ wouldn't like it.

I consider myself a minimalist, and would not jump on the bandwagon of that definition.

You've identified how general it is, which, I think, misses the point of "love," as I see it.

I believe love deserves a definition which gives justice to phrases such as "you're one in a million."

I think "love" begs for us to be extremely specific in defining it, whether you want to use scientific, psychological, or spiritual terms.

Leaving it very general is probably a defense mechanism to avoid having to give your personal views on it. But I could be wrong (even though that is so rarely the case).

 

[BigApplePi]

Why do I know examples of unconstructive love? Isn't it love?

Can you name some such example? Perhaps we will use induction to refine the definition.

What would be your definition of constructivity here?

con·struc·tive

adjective \kən-ˈstrək-tiv\ : helping to develop or improve something
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/constructive

Now you're going to ask me to define "develop" or "improve." Is this any better: building up rather than tearing down. Notice how this definition is intended to include emotion as well as non-emotional things.

Notice how as an INTP, I make my own definitions, hopefully to include those others use out there in the xNxJ world. To me, the concept, "constructiveness" comes first. Then a label "love" is attached to it. This makes for an unambiguous world ... maybe ... as it has to be checked out for usefulness. INTPs make the world, not the other way around.

 

[BigApplePi]

I consider myself a minimalist, and would not jump on the bandwagon of that definition.

Don't think we have the same definition of minimalist.

You've identified how general it is, which, I think, misses the point of "love," as I see it.

Remains to be seen. There are many kinds of love. Mine is a top-down definition.

I believe love deserves a definition which gives justice to phrases such as "you're one in a million."

True. "You're one is a million" is not meant to be a statistical truth unless they are the only one which could mean one in 7 billion, lol. I take it it is an emotional statement meaning, "Among all the values I have you are extremely valuable and I want to take care about you" ... or something to that effect. TRANSLATING* it means "you are constructive for me + I intend to be constructive for you.

I think "love" begs for us to be extremely specific in defining it, whether you want to use scientific, psychological, or spiritual terms.

Agreed. I would like the definition to fit specificity.

Leaving it very general is probably a defense mechanism to avoid having to give your personal views on it. But I could be wrong (even though that is so rarely the case).

Not sure I understand. "You are one in a million" is pretty specific and I used the definition on that to explain what it means.

Is there another example which you think fails the test?

*TRANSLATION is one of the six tools for understanding.

 

[Goku]

okay I have thought it over and the definition makes sense. It is devoid of any romance though, but I think the definition works. I guess another INTP could appreciate the definition and find it romantic.

 

[BigApplePi]

Love defined

okay I have thought it over and the definition makes sense. It is devoid of any romance though, but I think the definition works. I guess another INTP could appreciate the definition and find it romantic.

I appreciate it for its simplicity and its position universally throughout a hierarchy. Romance? On one hand "that which is constructive" is technical. How romantic is all those camera and sound crew crowding around a bed making a film of two private people in love scene?

But romance? The whole point of romance is a set up to build a constructive relationship between two people. They are full of hopes and dreams of getting together in every way two people can get together. Romance is the ultimate in constructiveness. Yes "construction" evokes images of guys with jackhammers and scaffolding crawling up tall buildings.

We must distinguish between a definition/symbol and what it is defining. A definition attempts to pull in the structure of the thing not the thing itself with its full structure and content.

 

[QuickTwist]

That last bit about definition/symbol is interesting to me; could you elaborate?

 

[BigApplePi]

That last bit about definition/symbol is interesting to me; could you elaborate?

Help! Do you have a link to that post?

 

[QuickTwist]

Its in the last response to Goku in the last paragraph.

 

[QuickTwist]

BAP,

Please analyze the following:

SELF ASSESSMENT LIBRARY
Analysis
AM I A TYPE-A?
Your score is:
This instrument measures the degree to which you're competitive and rushed for time. The Type A personality describes someone who is aggressively involved in a chronic, incessant struggle to achieve more and more in less and less time. More specifically, Type As are always moving, walking, and eating rapidly; feel impatient with the pace of most events; strive to do two or more things at once; do not cope well with leisure time; and are obsessed with numbers, measuring their success in terms of how many or how much of everything they acquire. Type Bs are the exact opposites.

A total of 120 or more indicates that you are a hard-core Type A. Scores below 90 indicate that you are a hard-core Type B. The following gives you more specifics:

120 or more points = A+ personality type
106-119 = A
100-105 = A
90-99 = B+
Less than 90 = B
If you score in the "A" categories, you need to be aware of your tendency to focus on quantity over quality. You may do better in jobs that are routine and rely on speed rather than creativity for success. In addition, Type As often experience moderate to high levels of stress.

Where would you fall under the depicted criteria? I scored 63.

 

[Brontosaurie]

QuickTwist,

Please remove the following:

your signature pic

 

[QuickTwist]

Brontosaurie,

could you tell me why and based on your answer I may remove it.

 

[Brontosaurie]

it is utterly pointless and annoys everyone but the others don't wanna be dickheads but i don't care so i'll say it

(or could you tell me the point and based on your answer i may or may not stop wanting you to remove it)

 

[BigApplePi]

You asked for an analysis.

BAP,

Please analyze the following:

You said, "Please." Courtesy helps.

SELF ASSESSMENT LIBRARY
Analysis
AM I A TYPE-A?

So far, I can't tell.

Your score is:

I don't see any score. It's left blank.

This instrument measures the degree to which you're competitive and rushed for time. The Type A personality describes someone who is aggressively involved in a chronic, incessant struggle to achieve more and more in less and less time. More specifically, Type As are always moving, walking, and eating rapidly; feel impatient with the pace of most events; strive to do two or more things at once; do not cope well with leisure time; and are obsessed with numbers, measuring their success in terms of how many or how much of everything they acquire. Type Bs are the exact opposites.

A total of 120 or more indicates that you are a hard-core Type A. Scores below 90 indicate that you are a hard-core Type B. The following gives you more specifics:

Since I didn't create this test, it's hard to tell what it means. For me, I'm in no hurry to get my life over with, but I am in a hurry to cram in what I can.

120 or more points = A+ personality type
106-119 = A
100-105 = A
90-99 = B+
Less than 90 = B
If you score in the "A" categories, you need to be aware of your tendency to focus on quantity over quality. You may do better in jobs that are routine and rely on speed rather than creativity for success. In addition, Type As often experience moderate to high levels of stress.

Where would you fall under the depicted criteria?

You want me to estimate my score even if I didn't take the test? Okay. 100.

I scored 63.

63? It says above "Less than 90 = B." But I'd give you a C unless you are dead. Dead gets zero.

 

[QuickTwist]

@Bronto, you've made your case. Now two people have said they don't want it there and the reason you gave, although I can't tell, seams reasonable. I will romove it.

 

[Goku]

@Bronto, you've made your case. Now two people have said they don't want it there and the reason you gave, although I can't tell, seams reasonable. I will romove it.

Bronto cares too much
To be bothered by an Internet signature
Suggests too much sensitivity

It bothers me that you cave so easily to another's wishes
Seems like standard bullying maneuver to me

 

[QuickTwist]

I'm bad socially. The answer made sense. I can't really read people. I guess I shouldn't take it from a douche asshole.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I will take the freedom to arrange your definitions before the body:

con·struc·tive

adjective \kən-ˈstrək-tiv\ : helping to develop or improve something
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/constructive

Notice how as an INTP, I make my own definitions, hopefully to include those others use out there in the xNxJ world. To me, the concept, "constructiveness" comes first. Then a label "love" is attached to it. This makes for an unambiguous world ... maybe ... as it has to be checked out for usefulness. INTPs make the world, not the other way around.

I understand that you label constructiveness as love as a part of your personal concept/definition formation. My question was raised as a reaction, unbeknownst of your personalisation of this abstraction I proceeded and I will to close my question.

Now you're going to ask me to define "develop" or "improve." Is this any better: building up rather than tearing down. Notice how this definition is intended to include emotion as well as non-emotional things.

Can you name some such example? Perhaps we will use induction to refine the definition.

There are many examples of love that destroys, deconstructs personalities, communities, drives people mad, brings sin and despair.

I know one real person that lost it's private life and purpose to find it replaced by the unreachable love, it feeds off with false signals and hopes and remains in this stranglehold for 3 years.

Love is mutual and every moment for the pair is bliss, however moments are separated by large amounts of time and they cannot find enough closeness, both have separate lives with their families.

 

[BigApplePi]

I'm bad socially. The answer made sense. I can't really read people. I guess I shouldn't take it from a douche asshole.

QuickTwist, if one guy doesn't like your signature, another guy might. I love the aesthetics of it. Here is a possible solution but I don't know how to do it: The design may be too large to go as a signature. But it would be perfect in your profile under "Album." I see some people have albums. I don't know how to create one. Maybe you can find how or some kind person will help you.

 

[Base groove]

have you discovered BAPbot and if so can you tell me what your plans are to destroy it?

 

[BigApplePi]

have you discovered BAPbot and if so can you tell me what your plans are to destroy it?

That assumes I have discovered BAPbot as opposed to inventing it. BAPbot is AI. You will have to ask BAPbot. I suffer from HI which lacks that special AI quality.

 

[Reluctantly]

What would you say is a good conceptual difference between nature and nurture?

 

[BigApplePi]

What would you say is a good conceptual difference between nature and nurture?

Good question. Answer is an analogy. Nature is the cup: nurture is what you fill it with. Lately science has discovered DNA and the ability to modify it. That means the cup and its contents have become fuzzy.

 

[Reluctantly]

How does a cup represent nature in human behavior?

 

[BigApplePi]

How does a cup represent nature in human behavior?

It represents the nature part of human behavior. Human behavior is limited by what we start with. We are not inclined to weave a web like a spider or jump around like a kitten no matter how much training we get from nurturing. Also various factors go into sexual orientation that make a male different from a female or fraternal twins different from identical twins.

 

[Reluctantly]

Okay. So the cup is a pretty definitive thing for you.

I guess the part I'm wondering is where the cup reacts to its contents. The underlying nature would still be the same and the cup would change/react in a special (or unique) way, given different kinds of contents, apart from other cups. But I guess that's not how you see it.


Edit: you know, I think I asked you this already. I remember your cup analogy now. Or maybe it was another thread.

 

[BigApplePi]

Okay. So the cup is a pretty definitive thing for you.

I guess the part I'm wondering is where the cup reacts to its contents. The underlying nature would still be the same and the cup would change/react in a special (or unique) way, given different kinds of contents, apart from other cups. But I guess that's not how you see it.


Edit: you know, I think I asked you this already. I remember your cup analogy now. Or maybe it was another thread.

Yes I have mentioned the cup analogy before. I may not be getting all you are after. Do you buy the analogy?

Anyway the cup does react to its contents. If you break an arm, it's like a chip off the cup. What it can hold will now change. Same if you were born with a disease than can now be cured.

 

[Ninety-Fourth]

http://www.intpforum.com/showpost.php?p=407550&postcount=26

This is a post from three months ago in which you stated that you wanted me to ask what you meant by 'vulnerable' in the question "which kinds of people make you feel vulnerable?". (Or maybe you wanted me to ask you something else, it's kinda hard to interpret that particular request properly.)

Now that I have accidentally recalled your request, I see no reason not to ask.
What did you mean by 'vulnerable'?

 

[BigApplePi]

http://www.intpforum.com/showpost.php?p=407550&postcount=26

What did you mean by 'vulnerable'?

By vulnerable I meant "subject to having one's boundaries (physical, psychic) crossed over." That's a general answer. Certainly everyone is vulnerable in one way or another. That was some time ago but I think I asked how you felt vulnerable to get a general answer from you.

I am guilty of getting other people on this Forum to feel vulnerable and told to stop. To get me to stop I was sent to an isolated spot unable to post making me vulnerable. One thing about vulnerability is if it is discussed with someone trusted, one can talk about defenses. On the other hand if one discusses vulnerability with someone not trusted it gives them an opportunity to invade.

You answered with something about SJ's and others which showed you were vulnerable to them in the sense they bugged you or worse. Then I asked you for more information. I think the conversation stopped there. Something has prompted you to bring this up again. Anything you are aware of?

 

[Ninety-Fourth]

By vulnerable I meant "subject to having one's boundaries (physical, psychic) crossed over." That's a general answer. Certainly everyone is vulnerable in one way or another. That was some time ago but I think I asked how you felt vulnerable to get a general answer from you.

You answered with something about SJ's and others which showed you were vulnerable to them in the sense they bugged you or worse. Then I asked you for more information. I think the conversation stopped there. Something has prompted you to bring this up again. Anything you are aware of?

There isn't any deeper meaning to my question, really. I asked the question because I remembered that you wanted me to ask it. At the moment, I was pretty sure it was a trick to get me into a deeper discussion on the topic of vulnerability, so I didn't bother waiting until I had anything new to say.

 

[BigApplePi]

There isn't any deeper meaning to my question, really. I asked the question because I remembered that you wanted me to ask it. At the moment, I was pretty sure it was a trick to get me into a deeper discussion on the topic of vulnerability, so I didn't bother waiting until I had anything new to say.

By "trick" you mean I had some motive to expose some vulnerability you had so I could take advantage? No that was farthest from my mind. On the contrary I wanted to help you. (Note that this is in public, not a PM. So someone else could take advantage.) What I was interested in was you had a situation in your life. This medium may be too difficult to clarify that. For example I don't have an everyday vision of your relationship with your father. I wasn't able to draw you out more on that so I stopped.

I can make a general statement though. There are three possible ways to deal with dad.
(1) Stay away as much as possible.
(2) Get aggressive and eventually gain power.
(3) Try to understand him and show love.

The latter is hardest. Sticking with general statements, you can find out what your dad's background has been and what makes him like he is today. Then it is possible you can stand back from how he affects you and see his situation. This is what I've done with my dad. I started out by hating my own dad.