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Which of these defense mechanisms do you use the most?

Ink

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http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/0001251

Primitive Defense Mechanisms
1. Denial

Denial is the refusal to accept reality or fact, acting as if a painful event, thought or feeling did not exist. It is considered one of the most primitive of the defense mechanisms because it is characteristic of early childhood development. Many people use denial in their everyday lives to avoid dealing with painful feelings or areas of their life they don’t wish to admit. For instance, a person who is a functioning alcoholic will often simply deny they have a drinking problem, pointing to how well they function in their job and relationships.

2. Regression

Regression is the reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable thoughts or impulses. For an example an adolescent who is overwhelmed with fear, anger and growing sexual impulses might become clingy and start exhibiting earlier childhood behaviors he has long since overcome, such as bedwetting. An adult may regress when under a great deal of stress, refusing to leave their bed and engage in normal, everyday activities.

3. Acting Out

Acting Out is performing an extreme behavior in order to express thoughts or feelings the person feels incapable of otherwise expressing. Instead of saying, “I’m angry with you,” a person who acts out may instead throw a book at the person, or punch a hole through a wall. When a person acts out, it can act as a pressure release, and often helps the individual feel calmer and peaceful once again. For instance, a child’s temper tantrum is a form of acting out when he or she doesn’t get his or her way with a parent. Self-injury may also be a form of acting-out, expressing in physical pain what one cannot stand to feel emotionally.

4. Dissociation

Dissociation is when a person loses track of time and/or person, and instead finds another representation of their self in order to continue in the moment. A person who dissociates often loses track of time or themselves and their usual thought processes and memories. People who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves (“multiple personality disorder”). People who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world. Time and their own self-image may not flow continuously, as it does for most people. In this manner, a person who dissociates can “disconnect” from the real world for a time, and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable.

5. Compartmentalization

Compartmentalization is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values. An example might be an honest person who cheats on their income tax return and keeps their two value systems distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance.

6. Projection

Projection is the misattribution of a person’s undesired thoughts, feelings or impulses onto another person who does not have those thoughts, feelings or impulses. Projection is used especially when the thoughts are considered unacceptable for the person to express, or they feel completely ill at ease with having them. For example, a spouse may be angry at their significant other for not listening, when in fact it is the angry spouse who does not listen. Projection is often the result of a lack of insight and acknowledgement of one’s own motivations and feelings.

7. Reaction Formation

Reaction Formation is the converting of unwanted or dangerous thoughts, feelings or impulses into their opposites. For instance, a woman who is very angry with her boss and would like to quit her job may instead be overly kind and generous toward her boss and express a desire to keep working there forever. She is incapable of expressing the negative emotions of anger and unhappiness with her job, and instead becomes overly kind to publicly demonstrate her lack of anger and unhappiness.

Less Primitive, More Mature Defense Mechanisms
Less primitive defense mechanisms are a step up from the primitive defense mechanisms in the previous section. Many people employ these defenses as adults, and while they work okay for many, they are not ideal ways of dealing with our feelings, stress and anxiety. If you recognize yourself using a few of these, don’t feel bad – everybody does.

8. Repression

Repression is the unconscious blocking of unacceptable thoughts, feelings and impulses. The key to repression is that people do it unconsciously, so they often have very little control over it. “Repressed memories” are memories that have been unconsciously blocked from access or view. But because memory is very malleable and ever-changing, it is not like playing back a DVD of your life. The DVD has been filtered and even altered by your life experiences, even by what you’ve read or viewed.

9. Displacement

Displacement is the redirecting of thoughts feelings and impulses directed at one person or object, but taken out upon another person or object. People often use displacement when they cannot express their feelings in a safe manner to the person they are directed at. The classic example is the man who gets angry at his boss, but can’t express his anger to his boss for fear of being fired. He instead comes home and kicks the dog or starts an argument with his wife. The man is redirecting his anger from his boss to his dog or wife. Naturally, this is a pretty ineffective defense mechanism, because while the anger finds a route for expression, it’s misapplication to other harmless people or objects will cause additional problems for most people.

10. Intellectualization

Intellectualization is the overemphasis on thinking when confronted with an unacceptable impulse, situation or behavior without employing any emotions whatsoever to help mediate and place the thoughts into an emotional, human context. Rather than deal with the painful associated emotions, a person might employ intellectualization to distance themselves from the impulse, event or behavior. For instance, a person who has just been given a terminal medical diagnosis, instead of expressing their sadness and grief, focuses instead on the details of all possible fruitless medical procedures.

11. Rationalization

Rationalization is putting something into a different light or offering a different explanation for one’s perceptions or behaviors in the face of a changing reality. For instance, a woman who starts dating a man she really, really likes and thinks the world of is suddenly dumped by the man for no reason. She reframes the situation in her mind with, “I suspected he was a loser all along.”

12. Undoing

Undoing is the attempt to take back an unconscious behavior or thought that is unacceptable or hurtful. For instance, after realizing you just insulted your significant other unintentionally, you might spend then next hour praising their beauty, charm and intellect. By “undoing” the previous action, the person is attempting to counteract the damage done by the original comment, hoping the two will balance one another out.

Mature Defense Mechanisms
Mature defense mechanisms are often the most constructive and helpful to most adults, but may require practice and effort to put into daily use. While primitive defense mechanisms do little to try and resolve underlying issues or problems, mature defenses are more focused on helping a person be a more constructive component of their environment. People with more mature defenses tend to be more at peace with themselves and those around them.

13. Sublimation

Sublimation is simply the channeling of unacceptable impulses, thoughts and emotions into more acceptable ones. For instance, when a person has sexual impulses they would like not to act upon, they may instead focus on rigorous exercise. Refocusing such unacceptable or harmful impulses into productive use helps a person channel energy that otherwise would be lost or used in a manner that might cause the person more anxiety.

Sublimation can also be done with humor or fantasy. Humor, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable impulses or thoughts into a light-hearted story or joke. Humor reduces the intensity of a situation, and places a cushion of laughter between the person and the impulses. Fantasy, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable or unattainable desires into imagination. For example, imagining one’s ultimate career goals can be helpful when one experiences temporary setbacks in academic achievement. Both can help a person look at a situation in a different way, or focus on aspects of the situation not previously explored.

14. Compensation

Compensation is a process of psychologically counterbalancing perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other arenas. By emphasizing and focusing on one’s strengths, a person is recognizing they cannot be strong at all things and in all areas in their lives. For instance, when a person says, “I may not know how to cook, but I can sure do the dishes!,” they’re trying to compensate for their lack of cooking skills by emphasizing their cleaning skills instead. When done appropriately and not in an attempt to over-compensate, compensation is defense mechanism that helps reinforce a person’s self-esteem and self-image.

15. Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the emphasis of a person’s needs or thoughts in a manner that is respectful, direct and firm. Communication styles exist on a continuum, ranging from passive to aggressive, with assertiveness falling neatly inbetween. People who are passive and communicate in a passive manner tend to be good listeners, but rarely speak up for themselves or their own needs in a relationship. People who are aggressive and communicate in an aggressive manner tend to be good leaders, but often at the expense of being able to listen empathetically to others and their ideas and needs. People who are assertive strike a balance where they speak up for themselves, express their opinions or needs in a respectful yet firm manner, and listen when they are being spoken to. Becoming more assertive is one of the most desired communication skills and helpful defense mechanisms most people want to learn, and would benefit in doing so.

* * *

Remember, defense mechanisms are most often learned behaviors, most of which we learned during childhood. That’s a good thing, because it means that, as an adult, you can choose to learn some new behaviors and new defense mechanisms that may be more beneficial to you in your life. Many psychotherapists will help you work on these things, if you’d like. But even becoming more aware of when you’re using one of the less primitive types of defense mechanisms above can be helpful in identifying behaviors you’d like to reduce.
 

Cognisant

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Cybernetic retractable weaponry.

Soooo all of the above?

the-future-then-and-now-assignment-demotivational-poster-1267246699.jpg
 

redbaron

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Nothing wrong with denial if you ask me, it's been a reliable source of water throughout history.

Where is humour? Isn't that counted as a defense mechanism?

Conceivably I use a number of these depending on the situation, but I can't really identify with any. I think I've developed a decent amount of assertiveness, so perhaps that's why I don't identify so much with the others - when you're assertive the need for the others diminishes.

I suppose a few years ago I'd have answered this differently.
 

Jennywocky

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A strong dose of intellectualization, a bit of undoing, and increasing amounts of sublimation, compensation, and assertiveness.

(Although cybernetic retractable weaponry certainly has its advantages... )

Where is humour? Isn't that counted as a defense mechanism?

It's mentioned under sublimation... at least humor that channels dark or sexual impulses.

Sublimation can also be done with humor or fantasy. Humor, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable impulses or thoughts into a light-hearted story or joke. Humor reduces the intensity of a situation, and places a cushion of laughter between the person and the impulses. Fantasy, when used as a defense mechanism, is the channeling of unacceptable or unattainable desires into imagination. For example, imagining one’s ultimate career goals can be helpful when one experiences temporary setbacks in academic achievement. Both can help a person look at a situation in a different way, or focus on aspects of the situation not previously explored.

Humor that is completely detached from the situation at hand, though, would probably categorize as some form of denial or avoidance.
 

Latte

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I like this list. It prods and moves the flow of introspective juices.

¤ Pervasive medium dissociation of the losing feeling like expressed and experienced self is how one really is. That it is not actual self.

¤ Medium to strong repression. Metacognitive control freak tendencies when ironically not monitored well enough, has its root cause fears manifest subconsciously and do things in a often wide-sweeping, crude and self-destructive/self-reducing ways. A positive side effect is automatic stemming of things like displacement.

¤ Medium intellectualization issues. My motivation and impetus to alter the status quo towards the better suffers from a lack of emotional response to my own situations despite extensive intellectual analysis on the mechanisms through which things can change in various ways.

¤ Mild undoing. The tendency has slowly diminished over the years in favour of more practical, result-oriented, present & future oriented way of dealing with such situations rather than this guilt-driven mechanism for inspiring action.


¤ Sublimation is something which I am better and worse at varyingly through my history. Currently I have mild proficiency at taking advantage of this tool and at my better half-year periods, my proficiency is strong and will often be thought of and summoned at will.

¤ Compensation Something I have just began exploring mildly in recent years. It is immensely powerful as a motivator for happiness, achievement and ambition, but my proficiency at utilizing it is low. I am far from feeling accepting of currently having the weaknesses I have in light of the strengths I have, and thus have a long way to go.

¤ Assertiveness is something I rarely have and I am except in rare cases of anger or percieved injustice inclined to be highly passive and surround myself with other highly passive people who are considerate enough to not need me to be assertive for my needs to be taken into account when it comes to their actions. I tend to smell potentially aggressive people from far away and avoid letting the nature or patterns of my interactions with them become such that direct controntation needs to occur.


Again, thank you for the list. I think this will inspire more intellectualization sabotaged attempts at theorizing how to modify myself for my own good.

Nyeh ^____^- It will be good. Sublimation engine engage.
 

Jennywocky

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¤ Assertiveness is something I rarely have and I am except in rare cases of anger or percieved injustice inclined to be highly passive and surround myself with other highly passive people who are considerate enough to not need me to be assertive for my needs to be taken into account when it comes to their actions. I tend to smell potentially aggressive people from far away and avoid letting the nature or patterns of my interactions with them become such that direct controntation needs to occur.

Running to a meeting, but assertiveness is a hard one. I historically have shied away from assertive people, and it's only in the last few years where I've found myself actually asserting something that I think, especially in a situation where I might butt heads with someone. Sometimes it feels very clumsy; and even when I think I'm doing it right, it still "feels" wrong and awkward as it is not my natural preference. It seems to take some time to figure out when and how to engage someone in a way that has potency but is not unnecessarily aggressive, and I think that balance is easily lost at times.

I like your post, wish I had more time right now to respond further...
 

Latte

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If you have more time later, I would love to read. I remember reading everything I came across on the forums we were both in in regards to some of your experiences and thoughts in your most challenging and uncertain years and the aftermath. Being unassertive must have been a very difficult obstacle at those times.

I also have problems evaluating in regards to myself whether something is more of an assertive or aggressive behavior, and many of them stay potential and not realized as a result, as I tend to err strongly on the side of caution.

It's good to hear that you're being more assertive and thus probably increasingly adjusting to and becoming comfortable with being assertive in situations where it is a beneficial course of action.

I know I might be overly prying and don't feel obligated to provide this, but... if you are willing to share a tale of a recent episode of being assertive and would describe how you felt and reacted to your own behavior before, right after and much later after behaving assertively, it would be very interesting.
 

redbaron

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It's mentioned under sublimation... at least humor that channels dark or sexual impulses.

D'oh! Did not even see that, I thought I read through them all. Thanks :)

Hmm, Latte's thoughtful response has prompted me to analyse them in more detail.

Acting Out: Rarer as I get older, I tend to do it when I find a situation is incredibly ludicrous. It was much more common when I was younger, to just explode in a door slamming, wall-punching rage. It's more controlled now, and even somewhat unconscious I think. I pick up an instrument when I'm angry often (without realizing I'm frustrated), and I think I've started to recognize subconsciously when I need to express through that medium.

Sublimation: Fairly common I suppose, I tend to see things in a lighter way and removed from all the unnecessary doom and gloom. Humour is probably a big part of that. Especially the long-term goals analogy is applicable, if not the most common one I use. I definitely trudge through short-term frustration by envisioning future results.

Compensation: I'm content with my capabilities. I often see setbacks as reminders of my own limits. I decide whether or not it's worth working on improving in that area, or I refocus on things I'm better suited to. I think I'm in a state of constant compensation - constantly adapting to new realisations of my ability and building on the skills I have, or learning new ones.

Assertiveness: Interestingly, probably the most natural one to me. I used to get into bad situations because I would come across as aggressive or unruly, but I think I have a pretty adept handle on it now, and successfully navigate the borderline between assertive and aggressive in various facets of interaction.

I'd say that being sandwiched between an INTJ parent at home and an ENTJ colleague at work, helped immensely in this regard. It was somewhat enlightening to observe a mature ENTJ press the boundaries, get away with it and even earn the respect of those around them. I observed for a long time the patterns of both of them, and managed to develop the kind of mindset required for assertiveness - without being overly aggressive.

It stills feels awkward and unnatural at times, but through trial and error I've learned to navigate potentially bad situations adequately.
 

Jennywocky

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If you have more time later, I would love to read. I remember reading everything I came across on the forums we were both in in regards to some of your experiences and thoughts in your most challenging and uncertain years and the aftermath. Being unassertive must have been a very difficult obstacle at those times.

Oh wow.

And yes, it was pretty awful and one reason why i was stuck in that situation for so long (my lack of being proactive and assertive, I just adapted and let others decide things).

The thing is, going through what I did is what helped teach me to be assertive. I wish there was a different way for people to learn that kind of lesson, because it's not much fun, but I guess that's just how it works.

I've another meeting now, but I'll respond to the rest this afternoon hopefully. :)
 

Goddess

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I think I have come to an assertiveness now.
Assertiveness comes naturally for people with a strong leadership talent.
 

DelusiveNinja

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Rationalization, which I think can be seen on the forum in some places. Damn, I was about to quote myself for evidence but never you mind.
 

Milo

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I think I might always be disassociating. I have no care for keeping track of time or anything in particular. I often times don't know what day it is.

At the same time this allows me to be really assertive because my memories don't cloud my thoughts, and I have no sense of awkwardness in any situation. I just see things as they are without insight into what people might think.
 

Pyropyro

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I think I use Intellectualization, Rationalization and Sublimation (fantasy type)

I'm still working on Assertiveness and Sublimation (humor type)
 

Reluctantly

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I think I might always be disassociating. I have no care for keeping track of time or anything in particular. I often times don't know what day it is.

At the same time this allows me to be really assertive because my memories don't cloud my thoughts, and I have no sense of awkwardness in any situation. I just see things as they are without insight into what people might think.

Makes sense. The primitive feeds into the intellectual. Can't have maturity without an understanding of immaturity and what not.

Personally speaking, I had problems with dissociation and come to accept those different sides to myself; for instance, I used to be scared that I can be so nice and caring, but at the same time there's a part of me that's completely ruthless and homicidal; it was born from a deep-rooted rage seeded from confusion and fear with my life. It's just there now. But I can use it intellectually to become Assertive when that part of me wants expression. I don't really mind that it can evoke fear in some people; it's me, whether they like it or not.

There's another side to me that likes adrenaline. It relates to feelings of intense fear, I think. And instead of freaking out from the craziness around me, I embrace it by desensitizing my thoughts from what causes the fear. But the problem is, I still have the energy from the adrenaline. So I might use that energy and channel it into sublimation to find pleasure in things most people would find horrifying or sick, such as someone having their head blown off with a shotgun. I've wondered before if that makes me a psychopath, but I still care about people when I'm not in this personality/state.

It's interesting, I guess, now that I think about it.
 

Milo

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Makes sense. The primitive feeds into the intellectual. Can't have maturity without an understanding of immaturity and what not.

Personally speaking, I had problems with dissociation and come to accept those different sides to myself; for instance, I used to be scared that I can be so nice and caring, but at the same time there's a part of me that's completely ruthless and homicidal; it was born from a deep-rooted rage seeded from confusion and fear with my life. It's just there now. But I can use it intellectually to become Assertive when that part of me wants expression. I don't really mind that it can evoke fear in some people; it's me, whether they like it or not.

There's another side to me that likes adrenaline. It relates to feelings of intense fear, I think. And instead of freaking out from the craziness around me, I embrace it by desensitizing my thoughts from what causes the fear. But the problem is, I still have the energy from the adrenaline. So I might use that energy and channel it into sublimation to find pleasure in things most people would find horrifying or sick, such as someone having their head blown off with a shotgun. I've wondered before if that makes me a psychopath, but I still care about people when I'm not in this personality/state.

It's interesting, I guess, now that I think about it.

Now that I think more into it. I also use the humor version of sublimation quite a bit.

And I don't think I've actually thought of dissociation as a problem. I enjoy taking on different aspects of other people's personalities and switching between them. I used to always want to get in fights when I was in high school, but it rarely ever happened so I joined wrestling, and that pretty much got that energy out of me.

Before I used dissociation, I always felt conflicted because my mind would always factor in a million consequences of every choice I had to make--almost like I knew too much and was too perfectionistic. So I started to just try to be forgetful on purpose until all those voices in my head just stopped. Now I always feel free to like any person I want to without feeling weird or awkward in the slightest.
 

Lucifer van Satan

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Hmm. I think that denial is an essential part of our nature, to an extent. If there were no denial, we would die of fear every day, because of all the things that may happen to us. But since most of them are unlikely, we simply ignore them.
I guess the similar goes for other defense mechanisms, but only their overuse is considered abnormal.

Thoughts?
 

Jennywocky

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Hmm. I think that denial is an essential part of our nature, to an extent. If there were no denial, we would die of fear every day, because of all the things that may happen to us. But since most of them are unlikely, we simply ignore them.

I don't think that's denial. I think that's "risk assessment" -- you set aside some fears because they are "unlikely." For example, I'm aware I'm going to die one day but am making conscious choices about how to prioritize my life (and even deciding to prioritize things); that's not denial, that's acceptance + choice.

Denial is when it is LIKELY that something will happen to you or is even happening to you right this moment, and yet you block it out of your mind so you don't have to deal with it. (for example, my ex knew our marriage was probably going to be over years before it actually ended, but didn't want to deal with it and kept pretending everything was okay despite how miserable we both were consistently.) It's not typically used for what you seem to be stating here.
 

Hawkeye

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The only one I relate to is sublimation.
 

Lucifer van Satan

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I don't think that's denial. I think that's "risk assessment" -- you set aside some fears because they are "unlikely." For example, I'm aware I'm going to die one day but am making conscious choices about how to prioritize my life (and even deciding to prioritize things); that's not denial, that's acceptance + choice.

Denial is when it is LIKELY that something will happen to you or is even happening to you right this moment, and yet you block it out of your mind so you don't have to deal with it. (for example, my ex knew our marriage was probably going to be over years before it actually ended, but didn't want to deal with it and kept pretending everything was okay despite how miserable we both were consistently.) It's not typically used for what you seem to be stating here.

Well, denial has a part to play in setting these fears aside. I was talking more about an unconscious denial of these small risks that is likely embedded in our nature. Of course, an extravagance of it, like in the example of your ex, would be considered what we call denial, a psychological phenomena.
 
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