Need help with loss of imagination and creativity after antipsychotics

[alberts]

I was given antipsychotics because of hallucinations, they helped but now as a side effect i have lost my imagination and creativity and unable to daydream and fantasize and see images in my head like normal people. I have consulted psychiatrist and psychologist and they can't treat this condition. I need help to overcome this condition. If anybody here knows anything about this or knows who i may consult to treat this problem please let me know.

I have asked other places online and it feels like i am the only one in the world with this problem.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I was given antipsychotics because of hallucinations, they helped but now as a side effect i have lost my imagination and creativity and unable to daydream and fantasize and see images in my head like normal people.

 

[Black Rose]

I was given antipsychotics because of hallucinations, they helped but now as a side effect i have lost my imagination and creativity and unable to daydream and fantasize and see images in my head like normal people.

i have had this problem my whole life
i wish i could see things like normal people myself

 

[crippli]

This is exactly what I have been worried about. And why I haven't taken any of them. I don't even take medication like aspirin. Light doses of alcohol helps. Large amounts make my imagination go nuts. I sometimes am entering a dream if really drunk. While both awake and conscious. Quite the thing, if it wasn't as dangerous, particularly to me. Might be worth a shot. Med free and small doses, and right environment.

There are people here now and then who knows a lot about medication. Perhaps you should write what you took.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I have consulted psychiatrist and psychologist and they can't treat this condition.

Typical. If you wean yourself off of antipsychotics your creativity will return, but it will take weeks at the very least.

You're far from the only one in the world with this issue. I'd recommend perusing psychforums as well as forums dedicated to the antipsychiatry movement. I'd also recommend learning what you can about your condition and medications before taking them. Simple side effect profiles aren't enough. Can I ask which medication you were prescribed? And your diagnosis?

Antipsychotics literally change your brain's physiology, causing atrophy and/or hypertrophy depending on the specific medication.

Significant grey matter reduction was detected in the left medial frontal gyrus at both 3- and 8-week intervals.

Increased subcortical volumes in treated schizophrenic patients seem to be medication-induced hypertrophy. This hypertrophy could reflect structural adaptation to receptor blockade and may moderate the effects of neuroleptic treatment. Neuroleptic is another word for antipsychotic.

Having said that, some are better than others, and sometimes they're necessary.

 

[StevenM]

Same happens with me as well.

It's a weird symptom to talk about. It's hard for others to take seriously.

"I can't write music anymore. I don't enjoy art. It's hard to summon the ambition to even solve puzzles and problems. "

Basically, the mind is a great, big, white open room with absolutely nothing going on. And drool does go unnoticed down the face. Very similar to a zombie.

And everything outside is monotone, still, and lifeless.

It feels like working in a factory. Only you get no breaks or time off. It's continuous, monotonous boredom that cannot be stopped.

However, I think over time it gets better, or perhaps ask the shrink to lower the dosage just a little.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

@ thread in general: http://doctorsonly.co.il/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/22102013_psych_Leucht.pdf

But doctors don't take mental people seriously, and it took awhile for me to get it cleared up.

These are the power dynamics that I hate. I once had a psychiatrist try to convince me to switch to haldol by telling me that it "affects the same receptors as abilify." Nevermind the most basic difference between the two (haldol is a typical antipsychotic and abilify is atypical), they have a completely different binding profile. I suppose if you classify agonism and antagonism under the "affects" umbrella he technically wasn't lying (in the same way that fire and water might destroy something differently), but it was extremely disingenuous.

Even if I'm, now again, slightly neurotic.

Spoiler

​

 

[TBerg]

And when you make potions to quell your nightmares, be careful that your dreams are not also drowned.

 

[Seteleechete]

I would much rather have nightmarish hallucinations than even touch antipsychotics. I really dislike the thought of any drug affecting my mind.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I was given antipsychotics because of hallucinations, they helped but now as a side effect i have lost my imagination and creativity and unable to daydream and fantasize and see images in my head like normal people. I have consulted psychiatrist and psychologist and they can't treat this condition. I need help to overcome this condition. If anybody here knows anything about this or knows who i may consult to treat this problem please let me know.

I have asked other places online and it feels like i am the only one in the world with this problem.

Are you still on the pills? If your hallucinations have died down then stop taking the meds, those side affects can really screw up how you function in your daily life. I'd suggest doing a media/technology fast and going to the countryside if your schedule allows. Enjoy a hike or a swim/canoe or w/e. Tire yourself out and get in touch with nature. For at least 2 weeks imo, or just 1 depending how bad you think your condition is (I personally don't think it's bad, the way you describe it). More pills won't solve it, and talking to one person isn't going to fix it imo. You either have to have group therapy (or just mingle with friends like a normal person) or take a break away from civilization. You really have to come out of your comfort zone to fix this sort of thing. If you have adult responsibilities hand them over to someone you trust or rely on parents etc.

tl;dr just take a vacation

Spoiler

I've been on atypicals and antipsychotics as well.. er.. but as for me it was more of an influx of creativity that almost put an end to me, not a lack of it. o_O

I've hallucinated (visual hallucination) just once though, it was pretty interesting. I dunno, the case might be chronic for you.

 

[The Gopher]

Taking a vacation might help. If we are to attempt to solve this without changing medication then lets see....

Is there something that makes you depressed? Try getting depressed and then writing. How about strange and unusual media? Find genre's you don't normally watch or read (watching is better if you literally can't visualize anything) Alternatively at the far end of when you take medication try give imagination a go.

What I mean by that is "when the drug is at it's weakest" an hour or so before you take it for the day maybe... If mornings are notoriously bad times for you to imagine before taking the drug move the drug taking to dinner and try before then. (Only if it's not a short term version as you might need it for the day)

I'm not sure if any of those will help but I had something similar happen although it was a very short term drug so I went from nothing to everything and back to nothing everyday. Like a seesaw in Cthulhu's stomach.

 

[alberts]

TheHabitatDoctor

Thanks for asking, For a while i took Zyprexa and Seroquel for a while. My diagnosis is drug induced hallucination

i smoked only marijuana for sometime before i started to hallucinate.

 

[alberts]

Are you still on the pills? If your hallucinations have died down then stop taking the meds, those side affects can really screw up how you function in your daily life. I'd suggest doing a media/technology fast and going to the countryside if your schedule allows. Enjoy a hike or a swim/canoe or w/e. Tire yourself out and get in touch with nature. For at least 2 weeks imo, or just 1 depending how bad you think your condition is (I personally don't think it's bad, the way you describe it). More pills won't solve it, and talking to one person isn't going to fix it imo. You either have to have group therapy (or just mingle with friends like a normal person) or take a break away from civilization. You really have to come out of your comfort zone to fix this sort of thing. If you have adult responsibilities hand them over to someone you trust or rely on parents etc.

tl;dr just take a vacation

Spoiler

I've been on atypicals and antipsychotics as well.. er.. but as for me it was more of an influx of creativity that almost put an end to me, not a lack of it. o_O

I've hallucinated (visual hallucination) just once though, it was pretty interesting. I dunno, the case might be chronic for you.

good advice, thanks. i really feel like the need to take a break from civilization and yes i have stopped taking antipsychotics.

 

[onesteptwostep]

i smoked only marijuana for sometime before i started to hallucinate.

Marijuana is also a somewhat of a bad habit.. well I guess it's arguable.

Just to note though, schizophrenia is linked with weed. I've read causes where the root cause of schizophrenia was weed (though not the direct cause). I think the verdict is still out there, but I'd recommend caution.

good advice, thanks. i really feel like the need to take a break from civilization and yes i have stopped taking antipsychotics.

Yeah everything comes back to life and your sensitivity levels go up when you get in touch with the countryside. Hope things work out.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Thanks for asking, For a while i took Zyprexa and Seroquel for a while. My diagnosis is drug induced hallucination

i smoked only marijuana for sometime before i started to hallucinate.

Alright. The obvious response here is that marijuana doesn't normally induce hallucinations and you should stop because it could well be inducing the positive symptoms of schizophrenia. Theoretically the hallucinations should stop as the cannabinoids leave your fat deposits. (There's actually anecdotal evidence that if someone organically develops schizophrenia, ol' MJ can be an effective treatment [just look at the association between schizo-prefix disorders and cigarette smoking], but that's not what you describe). But you may choose to rationalize continuing to smoke by taking the contents of the parentheses above and changing your story.

 

[alberts]

Alright. The obvious response here is that marijuana doesn't normally induce hallucinations and you should stop because it could well be inducing the positive symptoms of schizophrenia. Theoretically the hallucinations should stop as the cannabinoids leave your fat deposits. (There's actually anecdotal evidence that if someone organically develops schizophrenia, ol' MJ can be an effective treatment [just look at the association between schizo-prefix disorders and cigarette smoking], but that's not what you describe). But you may choose to rationalize continuing to smoke by taking the contents of the parentheses above and changing your story.

No i won't change my story, there is no need to and i am honest 100%. My purpose here was to ask for help, not to come here and lie which i hate by the way. The only symptom i had was hallucination. If you read Syptoms of Schizophrenia, there is a list of symptoms, so i guess this is why they came to this Diagnosis conclusion. I used it everyday for a while, at home, at work, meeting friend/ girlfreinds, starnger, going to the movies, driving, and other things and all these time i was mildly high and no one noticed it except one day a coworker asked if i am high and i didn't want to lose my job so i said no and so she went on saying why are you so cheerful all the time and this is what many people commented me mostly. I took it in small amounts, just an enough small dose to make me cheerfull and that was it. In other words i never took such a dose to that i become lazy and couldn't get off my ass.

The psy said chronic use leads to hallucination but yes you are right I have red some places that Mj has the potential to treat several mental disorders. Can't remember which and which. And since you mentioned that i remember when i smoked my thougths were more flexible than normal and my imagination and creativity increased to very pleasant level. And since it's this last thing i need to get fix MJ most likely will fix it but i would also be risking to hallucinate again.

 

[StevenM]

The only symptom i had was hallucination.

Seems odd if that was the only symptom. I thought schizophrenia comes with a mixture of paranoia, delusions, bizarre ideas, inappropriate behaviour, intense withdrawal from people, and hallucinations, etc. For instance, I think it's more common that what is generally believed to hallucinate. Good handful of people will have the experience in their lifetime (especially if trying drugs), and still have normal lives.

What kind of hallucination was it? (Visual, auditory....) Can you describe the whole experience?

Also, be careful with the meds. Sometimes just stopping or adjusting them yourself can be just as bad or worse

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I was mainly just checking if you had an addict's mentality. I'm the type to change my story () depending on how it affects my values and relationships. MJ does induce hippocampal neurogenesis, which is probably why you felt predominantly cheerful, but so does prozac. And melatonin, a serotonin precursor. Creativity is more related to dopamine though... phenylalanine is an accessible precursor (drink milk).

Give yourself a month without MJ and antipsychs and see what happens.

 

[StevenM]

@ thread in general: http://doctorsonly.co.il/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/22102013_psych_Leucht.pdf

These are the power dynamics that I hate. I once had a psychiatrist try to convince me to switch to haldol by telling me that it "affects the same receptors as abilify." Nevermind the most basic difference between the two (haldol is a typical antipsychotic and abilify is atypical), they have a completely different binding profile. I suppose if you classify agonism and antagonism under the "affects" umbrella he technically wasn't lying (in the same way that fire and water might destroy something differently), but it was extremely disingenuous.

Funny story.

Somehow, it crept into our conversation about all I've been learning about the neuroleptic I was taking.
Initiating the topic with the psychiatrist, I decided to start simple, and just simply state something along the lines of how I've read that it's generally believed that dopamine is the responsible neurotransmitter for causing psychosis and similar effects. What I really wanted (with him being an experienced doctor) was an in-depth conversation of what he knows about the symptoms, the causes, and the medication used to treat it.

Yet instead, he leaned forward very amused.

"What's this about dopamine? I've never heard of such! What made you come up with this.. what do you call it....dopamine? "

A little bit of a shock came over me, as I started to wonder if everything I've known was just a fabrication of my mind. Unlikely. And also, I deemed, it's unlikely he's that stupid. I assume this is a certain game or tactic of some kind. Probably just assessing my reaction. I didn't choose the best one though.

I gave him a subtle cold stare, and passed it off.

"Whatever, nevermind".

***

With your story, it brings to mind where we could be in a similar position as the psychiatrist. Let's say your with someone, who's not as technologically experienced, and they look up to you for your knowledge. I've found some instances where it's easy (and tempting) to purposefully misconstrue a truth for a particular aim. For instance:

"No, don't touch that button, or else the machine will blow up".

Laughing to myself, I know it won't blow up, and also amusingly taking in their reaction and complete faith in what I said.

I'm speculating with doctors, that they assume the patient's lack of understanding, and can sometimes 'lie' towards achieving a particular aim. Though I also have a distaste towards their power dynamics as well.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

You've got to coerce responses out of them using both depth and frequency. You're encountering two things (in addition to bullshit): 1) They're typically threatened by someone trying to play doctor because they don't trust you not to self-medicate 2) They're trained to look for "insight," or awareness of one's own mental illness. There's a default bias against patients here.

I find it's easier to lie than it is to explain something that's complex, and I'm sure this applies to most people, doctors included, but I also find that they respond if I show I already have a degree of understanding more complex than the level they'd use to brush me off. I'd have started off with something more along the lines of "So I was reading this paper from *insert peer-reviewed journal* and ___"

 

[onesteptwostep]

The psy said chronic use leads to hallucination but yes you are right I have red some places that Mj has the potential to treat several mental disorders. Can't remember which and which. And since you mentioned that i remember when i smoked my thougths were more flexible than normal and my imagination and creativity increased to very pleasant level. And since it's this last thing i need to get fix MJ most likely will fix it but i would also be risking to hallucinate again.

Weed has 'potential' to treat, but it's more often the case that weed merely numbs the positive effects of a mental disorder. Being able to 'treat' is complete bullshit imo, or else doctors everywhere would pass out weed and not pills.

About the lying part though. I personally think a lot of schizophrenia has to do with doubt and guilt. A dose of guilt sort of avalanches and turns (you did say that you lied) into paranoia, which leads to mental abnormalities, especially if there's a catalyst which alters your brain's normal state of being (lack of sleep, sudden overload of stress, "drugs" etc). Reminding you of the person or seeing that person whom you lied to could be a trigger in what causes the hallucination. I sort of conjured the pink elephant in the room by telling you this, but that imo I think could be a part of the mechanism in what causes your hallucinations. A sense of false guilt also could be a case though. But anyway as for your case I think a break away from civilization would be best, like already stated.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Funny story.

Somehow, it crept into our conversation about all I've been learning about the neuroleptic I was taking.
Initiating the topic with the psychiatrist, I decided to start simple, and just simply state something along the lines of how I've read that it's generally believed that dopamine is the responsible neurotransmitter for causing psychosis and similar effects. What I really wanted (with him being an experienced doctor) was an in-depth conversation of what he knows about the symptoms, the causes, and the medication used to treat it.

No imo I think it's more than just dopamine. I think for some people the mechinism in which dopamine is transmitted is out of whack (as in bio-chemically) but I think it has to do with being able to believe and will more. The cases in which placebos did the same affect as the actual meds sort of makes me rethink the whole dopamine thing.

 

[Pizzabeak]

In the streets, crackheads and methheads sometimes take promethazine, a neuroleptic, for recreation. If the effects of it are generally similar to what you have been taking then perhaps I can understand your dilemma. From what I can tell they are primarily sedative and basically render one super drowsy so that even standing is a chore. All your body feels like doing is passing out. Obviously, this can tend to hamper creativity and leave one worried.

Also from what I can gather, antischizophrenics don't cure the symptoms, meaning if one stops taking them the symptoms usually come back. As far as that goes, I was going to suggest weed to induce creativity and imagination but perhaps that isn't an option. Indeed, what kind of hallucinations were they? Weed can promote some hallucination as it is considered a mild psychedelic, but the prominence of them usually declines quickly as tolerance builds up. And even then they aren't that extreme, just synaesthetic or mild auditory, ocular, or somatic hallucinations.

If you went in for drug induced hallucinations then I supposed that's interesting. High doses of pot can cause schizophrenia like symptoms, such as catalepsy and some overall cognitive inhibiting properties. Pot has also been suggested to increase dopamine response when smoking. It seems that a lot of dopamine is responsible for side effects, kind of why the antipsychotics mainly attempt to block dopamine. Similar motor malfunctioning also occurs when there isn't enough dopamine.

Your experience with pot could have been more severe than average, rendering mild to extreme hallucinations. I'll go ahead and say it's hard to say whether pot can be effective treatment or not. When it was first being looked at it was mainly successful as a pain reliever with mood elevation as an aside; also as an appetite stimulant (for anorexia?) but it apparently wasn't therapeutically useful. I do see a lot of disabled individuals lining up for their medicine (or maybe they just want to get stoned? why deny them this?). Marijuana is becoming more legal by the day (seemingly), all those years after the conspiracy that made it illegal.

Unless you were unusually sensitive to pot I would say the prognosis was nearly unnecessary and the best thing to do is probably what other people have suggested, like a vacation near nature and overall detoxification. In some cases schizophrenia has been known to basically disappear without any treatment. Schizophrenia is treated as a disease and there are many proponents of a paradigm that treats these individuals with a little more kindness. Suffering from extreme schizophrenia probably kind of sucks though.