help. I don't respect any1 I know intellectually

[somfoolishfoole]

I don't know a single person I can relate (strongly) to. I can't open up my world of physics and fun knowledge to anyone. I vent my latest knowledge of particle physics and such to my mother or girlfriend, but neither of them have a natural understanding or interest in these things. I have taught them to understand physics.

It really brings me down that I honestly believe I'm the smartest person I know. I can't look up to anyone. I don't know a single person I can talk to whom I can just turn off the filter and speak pure science too.

for the first time in my life I recently met someone who actually has a natural interest in physics and understands much of the concepts I do. Problem is, he is just not quite on my level and he smokes weed/tobacco and just generally lives a sedentary life that is going nowhere. despite this, because of the physics, he is by default my new best friend.

problem is I'm sick of explaining things to people, I want someone to explain some physics to me, and leave me amazed and educated. if this was a girl it would be 10X as awesome and i would dump my girlfriend and marry this new girl.

what to do? everyone is so illogical and doesn't give a shit about introverted thinking. My father doesn't have a shred of thinking, I compare him to an alpha male ape. I have no respect for his mentally retarded antics.

how do I meet someone smarter than me?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

how do I meet someone smarter than me?

It's easy. Just surround yourself with fellow narcissists.

Spoiler

Perhaps the sedentary lifestyle is a result of learning physics... I'd run for the hills myself.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

I'm not narcissistic, or at least not so much so that I would let it blind me. I'm always happy to be critical of myself.
The problem is that I genuinly don't know anyone that I find capable of good conversation

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I'm not narcissistic, or at least not so much so that I would let it blind me. I'm always happy to be critical of myself.
The problem is that I genuinly don't know anyone that I find capable of good conversation

Remember wheelchair girl?

I'm the smartest person I know.

Cool. Me too.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

what about the wheelchair girl?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

what about the wheelchair girl?

The problem is that I genuinly don't know anyone that I find capable of good conversation

You could have...

"nice, pretty, intelligent" "dream girl"

I suppose you could always throw a wig on your new best friend and turn out the lights...

 

[Cognisant]

In a word, diversify.

You're a poor conversationalist if you can't relate to people other than yourself, if you don't have an interest in anything but your interests, because the reason why we enjoy talking to people who are good conversationalists is that they have a knack for making themselves interested in our interests. Of course ideally we would just speak to people who are great conversationalists, sadly they're few and far between, and if you're exclusively interested in particle physics it will take a GREAT conversationalist to get through to you, but why should they bother, are you really so special?

I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy particle physics, nor should you stop trying to share that enjoyment, just remember that sharing is a two way street and people tend to be better listeners after they've been listened to, if you find yourself discovering new things to enjoy by letting others share their interests with you then you're definitely on the right track.

 

[Cognisant]

I'm now going to reread that post a few times because I'm a terrible conversationalist too.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

haha, thanks for the tip. I feel like I'm a bit exhausted in the regard you speak of. for too long I've entertained other peoples interests and put my opinions aside. I started trying to form a relationship with my father by ignoring EVERYTHING that defines me, and just focusing on his interests. it just leaves u feeling like a prostitute, everyone gets what they want except you.

unrelated rant/vent: I can't get through to my dad, he doesn't know a thing about me, he was surprised the other day to find out that I knew a bit about physics. I could be smarter than einstein and my father would be oblivious. he would complain that my room is not tidy and that I don't know enough about current events and sports and other irrelivant shit.

edit: I apolagise for whatever comes out of my mouth tonight (or fingers as it were). I'm not all that happy at the moment

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

how do I meet someone smarter than me?

If you define yourself as the smartest, then by definition, there is no one to meet that is smarter. Yea, you're fucked!

 

[doncarlzone]

If you were to meet someone you respected intellectually, do you think that person would respect you? Just curious.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

If you learn to appreciate and when you become able to understand or comprehend their intelligence, then you will meet smart people in your life. Open your mind.

 

[Goku]

I think THD is on with the narcissism diagnosis. Conversations are all about learning. Learning about the other person. Somfoolishfoole, I also must first question that your real intention is not the question poised at the end of your OP, "how do I meet someone smarter than me?" It is only natural to assume that someone with such a high self proclaimed IQ wouldn't need an answer to such a trivial question. But consistent with the narcissism diagnosis, one with such a high IQ would require constant validation of his intelligence, and also crave attention that comes with bragging about it. These are plausible motives for the thread, bragging and attention seeking. The only reason a genius would announce his IQ on a site where there's no reason to assume the average IQ is above average is to let everyone know he is the smartest. It's like if I walked into the special Ed classroom and asked out loud if this is "Calculus 301" and laughed but nobody else laughed because they couldn't get the joke because they're retarded. So walking into a classroom full of retards then wondering out loud why you're the smartest one only reeks of attention seeking.

Obviously, the truly smart one already knows the answer to all the questions he asks. Join some high IQ society and there will surely be someone of greater intelligence. However, it is the trait of the narcissist to join the retard class, so that he can be the smartest person in the classroom. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but you should at least be aware of your own behavior. It does take someone smarter than you to figure you out though. Since I have done so, you have found your man, and are no longer the smartest person in the room.

I know I keep referencing IQ, when you have only referenced your narrow speciality in physics. It still remains to be seen whether you are actually smart.

Respect, as referenced in your thread title, is another issue. You associate respect with intelligence. If you actually have an extremely high IQ, that makes for a very lonely cynical existence. You won't have respect for very many people. Respect is hard to define, yet everyone knows exactly what it means.

If you are an intellectual genius, then you are an emotional retard. And, you have a lot to learn from the normal folk about emotions.

In conclusion, you are just seeking an audience. You crave social interaction and people to converse with. We will actually listen to you.

 

[kaelum]

Is it possible that you don't live in a big enough place for your narrow interests? (i.e. maybe if you lived in a larger college town, you would be able to join a group of physics friends and fulfill your intellectual need)

It sounds like you haven't been around enough people to the know the joy of the intellectual smackdown. Having people in your circle that are smarter than you is its own joy (you can sit around and enjoy the wit when you don't feel like speaking), but can make you a bit more shy to speak. It's a good lesson in humility that everyone needs once in awhile.

I'm a bit worried about your girlfriend situation

Spoiler

If your girlfriend is being as accommodating to learn physics for you...maybe you should (1) break up with her/set her free to be with someone who can appreciate that level of dedication, (2) make an equal sacrifice for her and solidify your own commitment to the relationship----ultimately, your choice how you spend your time, but ehh, I'm apparently a romantic still *shrugs*

 

[pernoctator]

I'm not narcissistic, or at least not so much so that I would let it blind me. I'm always happy to be critical of myself.
The problem is that I genuinly don't know anyone that I find capable of good conversation

It's narcissistic to define respectability based only on your own interests. If you have a job where you work with these ideas, it would be reasonable to be frustrated with your colleagues if they are all below your level of competence... but you're extending it beyond the appropriate context. You're blinded to other forms of intelligence.

 

[The Void]

how do I find someone dumber than me?
Everyone is so smart, I can't anyone to connect with.
I don't understand their concepts, Everyone is so sure and confident about their knowledge,
only I am the foolish one, doubtful of everything, even doubt, dispassionate of everything,
How can I find someone anyone more foolish than me?

 

[Anktark]

We do have different perspectives and models of the multiverse, so my comments will be subjective, not for the lack of trying though.
First, look at all those 16 different MBTI types, 16 different ways of looking at the world. It was a relief to me to know that not everyone was critically thinking and analyzing things before they knew definitions of those (or the) words. Highly intelligent people using their intelligence in a way that is alien to me looked less intelligent to me too. It is a definite possibility that those non-NT types understood it way before me and told me ( "everyone is different and unique"), but I misunderstood them and did not grasp the level of their knowledge (I thought it is obvious that everyone was structurally different). I needed a more rational explanation and they did not. From this point of view, I am the oblivious and stupid one.

Secondly, did they (your mother, girlfriend and whoever else) wanted to be taught physics or did they do it to be nice/trying to understand where you are coming from? Maybe from their point of view, you were asking if your shoes match your purse. Nevertheless, they listened and tried to hear you. I am not saying that you are a bad person, just wondering if you took that into consideration.

Thirdly, have you tried to expand your circle of interests or is physics a current obsession or the only thing that matters to you? Even then, you can watch at different topics from the point of physics. For example, I break the world down into some sort of C++/pseudo code. I am hungry to learn and understand pretty much everything, everyone has a piece of information that might amaze you and me. Learn to search for it. Even a homeless person knows something I do not and the issue then is to find a protocol we could both use.

Fourthly, that person you are searching for doesn't have to be smarter than you or have a higher IQ. They might show you a different perspective to things you already know. To keep an ongoing/continuous/flowing conversation they only have to be in the ballpark of your IQ. My IQ is only a bit above average, but from my understanding, it only means I will understand things slower than you might, however it's will not prevent me from understanding something. So, we could talk about physics if you were willing/had the patience to wait while I catch up.

Finally, if you are not willing to bend (as in, be more flexible), then the only other criteria would be for that other person to be an NT- have a similar way of knowing; not involving their feelings into argument/debate.
Where do you find such people? Detach yourself and solve it like all other problems. We could provide some suggestions, but you are most suited to solve this one, considering that you have more relevant information and higher processing speed.

 

[redbaron]

That's okay, the feeling is mutual.

 

[Cherry Cola]

You can't judge peoples intelligence by their ability to think about or do something which they've no interest in and rarely ever do, that's retarded.

 

[whitney4397]

Looking for someone to respect intellectually: ENTJ
Looking for someone to care about your thoughts: ENFJ

This is only based on my experiences

 

[somfoolishfoole]

so many valid points! Great comments guys, some of it really made me see things a bit differently. I'll address as many as I can.

I can't remember how to quote properly so this will be a nightmare.

<If you were to meet someone you respected intellectually, do you think that person would respect you? Just curious.>
It's a good point. assuming they used the same approach as me, I'd have to say no... thats a bit worrying. I'm starting to get the feel of what you guys are telling me.

<I think THD is on with the narcissism diagnosis. Conversations are all about learning. Learning about the other person. Somfoolishfoole, I also must first question that your real intention is not the question poised at the end of your OP, "how do I meet someone smarter than me?" It is only natural to assume that someone with such a high self proclaimed IQ wouldn't need an answer to such a trivial question. But consistent with the narcissism diagnosis, one with such a high IQ would require constant validation of his intelligence, and also crave attention that comes with bragging about it. These are plausible motives for the thread, bragging and attention seeking. The only reason a genius would announce his IQ on a site where there's no reason to assume the average IQ is above average is to let everyone know he is the smartest. It's like if I walked into the special Ed classroom and asked out loud if this is "Calculus 301" and laughed but nobody else laughed because they couldn't get the joke because they're retarded. So walking into a classroom full of retards then wondering out loud why you're the smartest one only reeks of attention seeking.

Obviously, the truly smart one already knows the answer to all the questions he asks. Join some high IQ society and there will surely be someone of greater intelligence. However, it is the trait of the narcissist to join the retard class, so that he can be the smartest person in the classroom. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but you should at least be aware of your own behavior. It does take someone smarter than you to figure you out though. Since I have done so, you have found your man, and are no longer the smartest person in the room.

I know I keep referencing IQ, when you have only referenced your narrow speciality in physics. It still remains to be seen whether you are actually smart.

Respect, as referenced in your thread title, is another issue. You associate respect with intelligence. If you actually have an extremely high IQ, that makes for a very lonely cynical existence. You won't have respect for very many people. Respect is hard to define, yet everyone knows exactly what it means.

If you are an intellectual genius, then you are an emotional retard. And, you have a lot to learn from the normal folk about emotions.

In conclusion, you are just seeking an audience. You crave social interaction and people to converse with. We will actually listen to you.>

I can see how you would get the impression you have arrived at, I think this was just poor communication on my part. I never claimed to be overly smart, what I was stating was that I thought everyone else was dumb. though some of you guys's comments have helped me to see that the issue was not everyone being dumb, the issue was me picking out every negative in people and bringing it to the front of what defines them. I guess you could say I have a pessimistic view of people, this may require a bit of concious work, as it seems to be an automatic subconcious process.

as far as attention seeking, you missed the mark with that one. I genuinly wanted help and I pretty much got what I asked for, so the threads purpose was met, attention seeking simply had no part in it.

thanks for your comment . it was a good read and prompted some thought provoking self analysis.

<Is it possible that you don't live in a big enough place for your narrow interests? (i.e. maybe if you lived in a larger college town, you would be able to join a group of physics friends and fulfill your intellectual need)

It sounds like you haven't been around enough people to the know the joy of the intellectual smackdown. Having people in your circle that are smarter than you is its own joy (you can sit around and enjoy the wit when you don't feel like speaking), but can make you a bit more shy to speak. It's a good lesson in humility that everyone needs once in awhile.

I'm a bit worried about your girlfriend situation
Spoiler:
If your girlfriend is being as accommodating to learn physics for you...maybe you should (1) break up with her/set her free to be with someone who can appreciate that level of dedication, (2) make an equal sacrifice for her and solidify your own commitment to the relationship----ultimately, your choice how you spend your time, but ehh, I'm apparently a romantic still *shrugs*>

you may be right, I live in new zealand and I have searched long and hard on the net for local communities but none seem to exist.
that "intellectual smackdown" would be a wet dream for me.
you know, I was quite sure I was going to break up with my girlfriend until I read all the comments on this thread, now I'm forced to think "am I doing the same over critiqueing on her?".

I may address the rest of the comments at a later point in time. right now I am more hungover than i have been in years.

 

[Hawkeye]

Stop being so judgemental.

 

[Spirit]

To know is to know you know nothing?

You are only the smartest person you know because you are alone.