"You're not as brilliant as you used to be"

[Kidege]

I don't know if this warrants a new thread. If it gets moved to Siberia I don't care.

It's just that... well, how can you tell?

I heard that title sentence today. Me being brilliant is me anticipating theories I've never heard about. Getting the big picture with only a few elements.

....

And how can someone notice I'm "not as brilliant as you used to be" and not notice I was suicidal two years ago? Though of course if they knew, it may be written down as further proof of my mental decadence.

*sigh*

 

[Jennywocky]

...how can someone notice I'm "not as brilliant as you used to be" and not notice I was suicidal two years ago? Though of course if they knew, it may be written down as further proof of my mental decadence.

People notice what is important to them.

And if you made changes in your life that someone doesn't particularly like, they're prone to commenting on them without regard for the positives that might have occurred due to said changes.

I don't feel I am as "smart" as I used to be either.
But I'm far more content and happy.
Pursuing life in that purely "intellectual" vein was partly a defense mechanism and not very good for me overall as a person.
I like myself much better even if I don't come across as smart as I might have pushed myself to be earlier.
And I also feel that I'm more effective as a human being, with my smarts as-is.

Are you happy with who you are now?
I'd be thrilled to not be suicidal (and was).
So, good for you!

 

[NoID10ts]

I'm definitely not as brilliant as I used to be. I have three kids and I am convinced that each one has reduced my IQ by about 20 points. I'm surprised I can function at all.

(and no comments about how my IQ must now be in negative numbers)

(I am already aware that that may be a possibility)

 

[Dissident]

What bothers me most is not the idea of becoming less intelligent, but to realize at some point in the future that I wasted whatever slight higher than averange intelligence I may have had. To know that I could have done something significant with it or gotten somewhere, but I didnt (and realizing now that Im not doing much to avoid that happening).

 

[Waterstiller]

I don't feel I am as "smart" as I used to be either.
But I'm far more content and happy.
Pursuing life in that purely "intellectual" vein was partly a defense mechanism and not very good for me overall as a person.
I like myself much better even if I don't come across as smart as I might have pushed myself to be earlier.
And I also feel that I'm more effective as a human being, with my smarts as-is.

I can really relate to this.

Also, regarding 'brilliance' decreasing with time. I think it just decreases with increased awareness. In my case, it has been awareness of fun and make-up. And how annoying I can be.

 

[Jordan~]

I feel sadder and dumber. Woo!

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I've felt like my intelligence has been on a roller-coaster ride. Up/Down/Up/Down

As long as my intelligence doesn't slip to a point where I can be considered a "Joe Six-Pack" I'll be happy enough.

 

[eudemonia]

I am definitely not as brilliant as I used to be. God I identify with NoID10ts, for once. Another word for becoming a parent is lobotomy. Your life revolves around kids and small talk and other peoples' kids and controlling kids and cooking for kids and....well you get the picture. Actually, not only am I not as brilliant as I used to be, I am not as interesting as I used to be. I am now very boring and mediocre. Also as you get older you can read as much as you like but you don't retain it - and I never remembered much anyway.

God, I'm depressed. Still, my emotional intelligence is higher which makes me nice and conventional and digestible.

 

[Kidege]

Pursuing life in that purely "intellectual" vein was partly a defense mechanism and not very good for me overall as a person.
I like myself much better even if I don't come across as smart as I might have pushed myself to be earlier.

Yes! This was me. I pushed myself really hard through highschool and college, absorbing all I could, taking notes, writing new ideas down, etc. I believed being smart was the core of my personality.

Are you happy with who you are now?
I'd be thrilled to not be suicidal (and was).
So, good for you!

I know myself a lot better now. I'm more polite, more aware of social interaction, and not suicidal (yes, good for me!).
I even learned to cook, should count a little.

Dissident: What bothers me most is not the idea of becoming less intelligent, but to realize at some point in the future that I wasted whatever slight higher than averange intelligence I may have had.

Both possibilities bother me.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel sadder and dumber (like I felt). Sorry about that.

Edit:

It was my very brilliant, expert in the field of thinking and its development , mother who told me this. There's no emoticon for "I feel so uneasy I'd like to barf"


Thank you so very much, mother. I'll never measure up to you standards, I knew that already. It was not my idea to go into the field you are the big expert in. I'm sorry your intellectual heir is so lacking./end rant

 

[NoID10ts]

God I identify with NoID10ts, for once.

My ideas are like a guilty pleasure you enjoy in secret. In public you deny them but in secret you know you agree with everything I say. You just can't bring yourself to admit it! It's like an itch you can't scratch.


Relatively seriously though, I love my kids more than most anything on earth but I can only watch Teletubbies, Curious George, and the [expletive deleted] VeggieTales so many times before grey matter begins oozing from my ears and my eyes gloss over in the sweet embrace of an intellectual coma.

 

[Kidege]

There's always the possibility of locking the TV up and teaching them stuff, NoID10ts. I enjoyed literature classes that way when I was four.


(Of course after 20 years you may decide it was not worth the trouble since they're getting dumber anyway)

 

[eudemonia]

My ideas are like a guilty pleasure you enjoy in secret. In public you deny them but in secret you know you agree with everything I say. You just can't bring yourself to admit it! It's like an itch you can't scratch.

are you a virtual hypnotist on the sly? I agree with everything you say, reading your words is like eating foie gras and drinking the best claret, but I can't bring myself to admit it, where's that bloody backscratch.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Higher rates of suicide seem to be associated with introverted personalities; an unfortunate side-effect of modern culture. I've been down that path, but I made peace with myself and moved on.

Regarding how 'brilliant' I am (what a pretentious word)
I think one of the worst things that ever happened to me was taking an IQ test. Before the test teachers (pre-school) were worried that I was retarded or a mute. However everything changed after I had taken it; they put me in all sorts of 'advanced' programs. Now so-far this sounds like a good thing but I didn't want to have anything to do with their plans. The better I did, the more they wanted from me; so I did what a sensible child would do, I rejected it. I played dumb and eventually they stopped calling me out from class, I was free.

This attitude has of course made me a terrible student and since I could get by without studying; I had no incentive to change. However I consider myself lucky, I know personally why 'gifted' teens have such a high suicide rate. They embrace the extra attention given to them by early successes, feeding of it like any child would. But what happens when they fail and the attention is lost; what happens when the system they depend upon is taken away?

IQ test should be abolished, it's just not fair to judge a child's worth based upon their ability to solve puzzles. After the years of dumbing myself down I'm not 'brilliant' like I used to be, but I'm much happier.

 

[Ermine]

For me, my intelligence doesn't change as much as my priorities and how people recognize me. Usually people recognize me for my intelligence until they discover my other facets, like my kindness, how I am genuine in what I say to people, emotionally related facets.

As for my priorities, when I'm dissatisfied with my life, I resort to academics. When I'm happier, I think more about people.

It all depends on what facet of me you focus on.

 

[NoID10ts]

There's always the possibility of locking the TV up and teaching them stuff, NoID10ts. I enjoyed literature classes that way when I was four.


(Of course after 20 years you may decide it was not worth the trouble since they're getting dumber anyway)

But then they might grow up without a sense of humor and take to lecturing people on the proper way to raise their children.

 

[Kidege]

Okay, which of us missed the joke?

(That wasn't lecturing, that was self-deprecation. I don't actually know how you should raise your children)

 

[NoID10ts]

Okay, which of us missed the joke?

(That wasn't lecturing, that was self-deprecation. I don't actually know how you should raise your children)

Proof that I am, in fact, getting dumber! Sorry.

 

[Kidege]

No prob, pal

 

[Agent Intellect]

i don't think i've ever thought of myself as intelligent. i went to a shitty school and still managed to get shitty grades. i scored 136 on an online IQ test (i think i took it right before my first personality type test) but i don't think that really means a whole hell of a lot. even if i was good at academics (and i'm particularly bad at math) i'm still socially retarded, i still run to the liquor store just about everyday, all the while telling myself i shouldn't. never went to college, work a menial job, and contribute next to nothing not only to greater society, but to the people around me that i often refer to as friends and family.

 

[eudemonia]

i don't think i've ever thought of myself as intelligent. i went to a shitty school and still managed to get shitty grades. i scored 136 on an online IQ test (i think i took it right before my first personality type test) but i don't think that really means a whole hell of a lot. even if i was good at academics (and i'm particularly bad at math) i'm still socially retarded, i still run to the liquor store just about everyday, all the while telling myself i shouldn't. never went to college, work a menial job, and contribute next to nothing not only to greater society, but to the people around me that i often refer to as friends and family.

Its me again

Firstly, success in life is in no way related to intelligence. Its often related to having a vision and dogged determination in terms of reaching it. There are many successful people who never went to university - like Richard Branson and Anita Roddick (who started in a 'menial' job selling cosmetics in a local shop).

Secondly, IQ tests should be banned, I agree with Cognisant. I score lower in IQ tests becuase I am probably in the bottom 10% of the population in terms of my spatial awareness and my maths is crap. You are clearly of above average intelligence in terms of your reasoning and verbal abilities.

The issue that undermines many people is primarily emotional. My brother was all set up to go to university (at 15) but then he blew it at school because of stupid macho reasons. Now he's in a menial job - very bright guy- very unhappy, very low self esteem because of all his regrets and his guilt. And it is these emotions and his inability to deal with them that prevent him from changing his life. I think that unless someone has a vision for their lives they will carry on doing the same old same old until they die. Problem is that negative emotions prevent people from formulating an inspiring vision. One often needs help to process the negativity that sets in. So, for deep psychological reasons, people often choose to destry themselves - the Freudian death wish.

So the reason that we are not as brilliant as we used to be is often emotional not intellectual.

 

[kellimaier]

Hmmm...I am a bit older than many here( a lot older than some)...more experience, whatever.
I have to say I am more brilliant than I was....but boy do I ever space out more and more every year.

 

[loveofreason]

Hmmm. If ever I was brilliant it's a distant memory now.

There's that saying "The older I get the better I was." Would be great to actually feel like I was getting better with age instead.

I hold onto what I recall of my teenage years as it's the last I remember being able to think purely for myself, unencumbered by the responsibility for my ensuring own sustenance; unencumbered by social expectations.

When food appears on the table and the consequences of being churlish aren't detrimental to one's well-being, the mind can make it's own priorities.

I've made some poor decisions since then.

 

[Waterstiller]

I think our brilliance stays more or less the same. Though, it's like a mag lite. You can focus it or your can spread it out, and over time we're forced to spread it out more often than not.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Maybe it is just a matter of how our lives develop that determines our perceptions of our intelligence. I feel dumber when there is more going on in my life. Those with children are saying that is one reason they feel their intelligence slipping. Maybe it is just the refocus of your lives that you haven't adapted too or are not as comfortable in living that way. Maybe when those kids grow up and move out, you'll "regain" the intelligence you thought you lost. I don't think we are good with responsibilities and the more we have, the more of an adverse effect they have on us.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I'm more brilliant than I used to be.

Hopefully, the trend continues.



Dave

 

[Kidege]

I feel like I should write an update:

I had a long conversation with the person -ok, my mother, who said the title sentence.
Turns out I "haven't said anything brilliant in the last month and a half" Better than the initial statement if still not something I liked hearing.

So yeah, I flipped. But according to the responses plenty of us would or have freaked in similar situations.

I think, as Nia does, that our intellectual ups and downs are linked to our emotional state. Lor's recollections of hir teenage years are in agreement with this. I too was "freer", not only to think whatever I wanted but to express it pretty much any way I wanted to when I was a teen.

A matter of focus. As long as we remain active as thinking people, we'll be fine no matter what new shapes and directions our thoughts take.

I'm very thankful for the responses, btw. Yet another proof of how great this forum is.