Your Gender Identity and Sexual identity

[Tannhauser]

There is so little of man here that the women strive to be mannish
(Nietzsche)

 

[Nebulous]

Overall I'm more into cuddles and like camping in the wilderness watching the stars and dumb stuff like that

I hate being in a Catholic school
I want to go to prom with a girl just to piss everyone off

 

[Sinny91]

DO IT!

To troll the Catholics. Haha.

 

[Fukyo]

But vaginas, Neb, vaginas.

How are you going to navigate those things? Lol.

That's a strange question. Have you never masturbated?

 

[A_Scanner_Darkly]

There is so little of man here that the women strive to be mannish
(Nietzsche)

What you trying to say, brah?

 

[Sinny91]

Oh, and I thought you were going to rescue me from Fukyo's inquisition, Scanner.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Oh, and I thought you were going to rescue me from Fukyo's inquisition, Scanner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SeZ1E9-KUs

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

I identify as female, well it's more like i dont feel genuine distress about the skin i was born in so I'm okay with being a female.

Onto sexuality: I'm always checking out girls :P when i see a beautiful/pretty girl it's like yaaaas my dead crusty heart is pumping blood again. I definitely find girls/femininity much more physically attractive, i develop crushes on girls but they are never of a sexual nature. For some reason I can't picture myself ever being in a romantic relationship with a girl. So yeah I'm straight

 

[Sinny91]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SeZ1E9-KUs

Lulz, you've cheered me up tonight.

 

[A_Scanner_Darkly]

That's a strange question. Have you never masturbated?

Oh, and I thought you were going to rescue me from Fukyo's inquisition, Scanner.

Oh -- right -- yes! What are you paying me for?!

*ahem*

Your honor,

I would like to make a motion...insofar as thereto regarding Fukyo's inquiries... thereas to the question of my client's private sexual life... whereunto and wherefore, my client shall duly plead the 5th...whereas it is her lawful right under the Constitution to do so.

Oh...oh, shit. what do you mean they don't have that right in the UK? oh...so I would have to petition the Queen as to that? well...is she available? No? oh dear...

*ahem*

i apologize, Sinny. as i am not THE queen but merely A queen, it looks like you're SOL

i think your best bet is to use this line. repeat after me:

"your honor, real gangsta ass n****s don't masturbate. they just bust a nut on a b****. i'm outtie!"

 

[Sinny91]

Thank you Scanner, you do not disappoint, that was certainly bang for the buck.

As per my legal council:

"No comment".

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

*skates through the forum with whips in hands*
*does triple lutz spins, effectively flagellating everyone*

 

[xbox]

my forum self identifies as a 18 yr old boy but deep down inside i am a female in mid 20s

 

[Reluctantly]

There is so little of man here that the women strive to be mannish
(Nietzsche)

Nietzsche was actually a homosexual. He was just in denial.

THINK ABOUT IT.

He was so turned on by masculinity, he couldn't stop talking about the most masculine thing ever, his little ubermensch. He wanted that hunk of meat to show him what it really feels like to be a man. His philosophy is essentially his own erotic fascination with wanting it up the ass. Plus he was INTJ, so of course this has to be true as INTJs like having things in their ass and pretending to be supermen.

I don't know how you missed this common knowledge.

 

[crippli]

I seriously can't tell that much off a difference- Ok, I do notice that this person have a penis, ad this person have a vagina. But since I am somewhat learned, I am quite aware that they are the same thing. So.....


Frankly, I think people are very odd in their perceptions.

Now. I do like to look sexy though, so that I don't have to make the advance. Meaning I need to think abit about the foodI eat and those things, so that the body doesn't become repulsive.

 

[Sinny91]

I had my first girl crush the other week. I could have died. I had no idea where or how the thoughts were coming from, and I couldn't shake em for about a week, lol.

In fairness to me, I've got great taste haha.

...the troublesome thoughts seem to have all cleared up by themselves.

Thank God for that. Its a bit late in life for a sexuality crisis haha.

I was kidding myself.. Those thoughts didn't go anywhere cept to the back of mind.. From whence they occasionally and inconveniently resurface from time to time.

The worst part about this scenario is the paranoia and discomfort within myself.

I can't for the life of me make eye contact with her, haha... it's gotten to the point where I'm like, surely she's picked up on the lack of eye contact. (?)

Well, I can make eye contact with her when there's an alternate objective at hand ... but not when we're just chit chatting... that's when those thoughts reoccur, and I mentally start panicking.

Plus.. it's not even just how she looks, there's summin about her. She knows what she wants and she goes for it, lusty like.

And she recognises and encourages that behavior in me too.. With no questions asked apparently.

 

[Reluctantly]

You know it's really annoying how most people think transgenders are freaks and what-not. I go about my stupid day pretending that I share the same stupid opinions and disgust just so nobody suspects me or anything, but in actuality I don't see why anyone really cares what someone else wants to do to their body or how they want to be seen by other people. It's like people think they will get some disease or God forbid have "attraction" to say a MTF transgender and be labeled homo or something. What's the problem? Why can't people just follow their desires if it isn't hurting anyone? Why so many hangups?

I had to listen to someone that met a transgender and almost had sex. I guess he saw scars and asked her if transgender and he freaked out and wanted to hurt her. I mean it's fucked up that she didn't tell him, but then again, it's not that big a deal, but he felt like if he slept with her, he was sleeping with a man...so she's crying and he leaves and now it's like this horrible memory that he sees as getting a blowjob from a man...I mean I guess it's kind of funny in a way, having his ideas of gender turned to confusion so that all he feels is rage,

God and then there's people like Bruce Jenner that have to make it this whole dramatic thing. LOOK AT ME. I'M A WOMAN. WOMAN OF THE YEAR WOOO...Gawd. I feel like that brings such a bad image to everything, like how some homosexuals will have their gay pride parades with dildos waving around and ass-less chaps and shit...and it's like "what are you doing?", some people that didn't give a shit that you're gay suddenly have a reason to be disgusted with you because you put it in their faces. I mean wow,

/random thoughts

 

[Jennywocky]

You know it's really annoying how most people think transgenders are freaks and what-not. I go about my stupid day pretending that I share the same stupid opinions and disgust just so nobody suspects me or anything, but in actuality I don't see why anyone really cares what someone else wants to do to their body or how they want to be seen by other people. It's like people think they will get some disease or God forbid have "attraction" to say a MTF transgender and be labeled homo or something. What's the problem? Why can't people just follow their desires if it isn't hurting anyone? Why so many hangups?

I had to listen to someone that met a transgender and almost had sex. I guess he saw scars and asked her if transgender and he freaked out and wanted to hurt her. I mean it's fucked up that she didn't tell him, but then again, it's not that big a deal, but he felt like if he slept with her, he was sleeping with a man...so she's crying and he leaves and now it's like this horrible memory that he sees as getting a blowjob from a man...I mean I guess it's kind of funny in a way, having his ideas of gender turned to confusion so that all he feels is rage,

it all seems to drive from someone being challenged on their own sexual orientation. For the trans person, they're just going about their lives with cored identity intact; but it suddenly becomes a personal affront over his orientation when in reality he was simply attracted to someone he perceived as female and who identifies as female and whose physiology is female.

It's odd the way gender becomes such a huge thing when for transpeople it's simply about correcting a birth defect from that perspective, and male and female start from the same basic biological template anyway, with development driven by the application of hormones during certain windows of development. Obviously if hormone levels are wrong during those windows (even in gestation or later), there can simply be a mismatch. And blatant intersex rate is higher than the average person realizes as well.

There's a level of personal affront that seems way beyond expectation, which has lead to physical harm or on occasion murder.

God and then there's people like Bruce Jenner that have to make it this whole dramatic thing. LOOK AT ME. I'M A WOMAN. WOMAN OF THE YEAR WOOO...Gawd. I feel like that brings such a bad image to everything, like how some homosexuals will have their gay pride parades with dildos waving around and ass-less chaps and shit...and it's like "what are you doing?", some people that didn't give a shit that you're gay suddenly have a reason to be disgusted with you because you put it in their faces. I mean wow,

/random thoughts

Jenner is a hot mess, but she was that as a man as well (Re: all things Kardashian) and it didn't help her when she transitioned either. She simply had so much notoriety publicly that she's ended up in the limelight without having earned the right to comment on or be listened to about anything.

 

[PmjPmj]

I was once speaking to a bloke at a party all night. I can't even remember what we were talking about, as we were both pissed.

The next day, his girlfriend (an old school friend) approached me and said "So, you met my new boyfriend then?", to which I replied "Yeah".

"Well, I'll tell you now before anyone else does - he used to be a she" (we were pretty tight in school, so it made sense that she'd want to tell me, and tell me before anyone else).

I just said "Oh, right. Cool. He's a nice guy".

AND THAT'S WHAT IT SHOULD BE LIKE. FUCK OFF, HUMANS. FUCK RIGHT OFF.

 

[PmjPmj]

Someone posted this earlier, and in another thread:

http://www.dailyxtra.com/sites/defa...ublic/Blaire_WhiteInstagram.jpg?itok=ZQbKwHf9

I thought "Wow", and then continued reading.

Still thought "Wow". Heterosexual; married with kids.

We're fragments of the universe, expressing and experiencing itself in different guises. You want to go ahead and change your meat suit? That's entirely your prerogative, and to hell with what any other person thinks. If they start giving you shit for it, it's probably because their minds are so fucking tiny, and their lives are so empty, that they just can't possibly handle anything which challenges their drastically limited thinking / concept of reality.

Ugh. Humans.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I think the fear of tg stems from the basic mechanisms of forming relationships.

A person able to accept and feel attracted to another, regardless of how they perceive themselves under various social conditions will be able to accept themselves with a tg partner. There lies the key, in accepting oneself not in accepting others.

On the other hand a person seeking to validate their relationship within a society and basing their acceptance of themselves on acceptance of others within their culture and the status it comes with will experience a cognitive dissonance of acting on two contradictory desires, attraction and fear of rejection.

I can imagine how excruciatingly paralysing it can be for a tg to self-disclose. Especially if they don't want to lose contact with a friend or are afraid the information will carry on to their workplace. Despite this difficulty I find it unethical for tg to hide their status when engaging in intimate relationships. They are in a disadvantageous position and many will come to hate or reject them for what they are, but it was their decision to alter their biology and it is only a depressing feature of our times that most people can't tolerate any statements of individuality and seek validating affirmation from the society.

Gender and sexuality don't matter to me personally. It's not something I think about day-to-day, it only becomes a topic when someone brings that up. Sometimes I find people aiming to describe themselves as explicitly one or another, I couldn't care less, I only care insofar as I care about that person.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

Despite this difficulty I find it unethical for tg to hide their status when engaging in intimate relationships.

Why is it unethical? Not only do they feel a certain gender but they also altered their biology to embody it. Imo their past status becomes a non-issue by default. If a person feels attracted to a tg but then change their mind after learning about their past, I don't think this is a case of deception (if that's what you mean by "unethical"). It just means that said person is too afraid to trespass the boundaries of "normal" and "not normal" that they've constructed in their heads. It's not that the tg is being deceptive/unethical, it's that people need to stop making an issue out of a non issue

 

[Jennywocky]

Why is it unethical? Not only do they feel a certain gender but they also altered their biology to embody it. Imo their past status becomes a non-issue by default. If a person feels attracted to a tg but then change their mind after learning about their past, I don't think this is a case of deception (if that's what you mean by "unethical"). It just means that said person is too afraid to trespass the boundaries of "normal" and "not normal" that they've constructed in their heads. It's not that the tg is being deceptive/unethical, it's that people need to stop making an issue out of a non issue

Yeah, "unethical" sounds like a stretch there, although due to the stigma and some people's reactions, the trust factor could be broken in the same sense as not telling your prospect at a suitable stage that you have children from a prior marriage, are sterile, or some other issue that shouldn't technically matter but the partner might consider a big secret and make them wonder what else hasn't been said (along with any practical complications). People do create a lot more problems than are necessary, in terms of their expectations and demands upon a partner, rather than taking each other at face value.

Making it a "choice to alter your body" also makes it sound like a tattoo or a piercing, whereas if it's correction of a physical incongruence that improves functioning and coherence, then it's essentially not much different than correcting a cleft palate after birth (albeit in an area that has cultural taboos or expectations imposed, which complicates matters).

It's interesting that we digest this stuff in science fiction pretty readily, but in real life people seem to have a lot more trouble depending to some degree on cultural and family upbringing. Really, it just happens to be what sperm got to the egg first + whether there was anything that disrupted programmed development.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Why is it unethical? Not only do they feel a certain gender but they also altered their biology to embody it. Imo their past status becomes a non-issue by default. If a person feels attracted to a tg but then change their mind after learning about their past, I don't think this is a case of deception (if that's what you mean by "unethical"). It just means that said person is too afraid to trespass the boundaries of "normal" and "not normal" that they've constructed in their heads. It's not that the tg is being deceptive/unethical, it's that people need to stop making an issue out of a non issue

It is exactly because it is widely found unacceptable that they should disclose. Many relationships start with varying expectations.

In some cultures two people meet mainly to produce offspring, in others it is because they are attracted, etc. A tg person should acknowledge various expectations that their partner might have coming into the relationship including those rooted in limited minds and caused by social pressure.

Hiding the truth can be considered a case of false advertising and aiming for a specific outcome with no regard for expectations of the other party.

There's nothing fundamentally wrong in a male expecting to meet a biological female and vice versa, you can label this preference as non-issue or stupid but it doesn't change the fact that this is what they can want.

I could compare this false advertising to hiding one's age is significantly higher than perceived, or hiding the information about ones terminal illness. It shouldn't cause problems if one can go beyond face value but not everyone does that and why should they be forced to change it.

If anything we need more social acceptance of being open about our preferences and status. People shouldn't react negatively to honesty or tg coming out of hiding. There should be respect for a variety of situations.

Making it a "choice to alter your body" also makes it sound like a tattoo or a piercing, whereas if it's correction of a physical incongruence that improves functioning and coherence, then it's essentially not much different than correcting a cleft palate after birth (albeit in an area that has cultural taboos or expectations imposed, which complicates matters).

Which also essentially leaves them sterile, dependent on hormone therapy, living shorter lives, unable to have sex (depending on their state).

Sure I can agree that it's a correction to put their bodies in line with their minds, but their factual disadvantages are undeniable, I believe it may become a non-issue once gender alteration becomes comprehensive.

 

[Sinny91]

Transgender people confuse me, they 'see' problems where I see none.
They wig me out, a bit.
But, I would never encroach on anyone's free will to do as they please, within common law.

And at the end of the day.. most of them are lovely people, just seeking peace and acceptance.

Having said that, I would go batshit crazy on anyone's ass if we'd had intimate relations without them disclosing that sort of thing.

I have my own sanctity, an they would have deprived me of my right to an informed decision.

 

[PmjPmj]

I'd be a little irked if I fell for a TG and then they were all "oh lol I can't actually reproduce because XY".

I guess we'd have to adopt, or something.

 

[Jennywocky]

It is exactly because it is widely found unacceptable that they should disclose. Many relationships start with varying expectations.

In some cultures two people meet mainly to produce offspring, in others it is because they are attracted, etc. A tg person should acknowledge various expectations that their partner might have coming into the relationship including those rooted in limited minds and caused by social pressure.

Hiding the truth can be considered a case of false advertising and aiming for a specific outcome with no regard for expectations of the other party.

There's nothing fundamentally wrong in a male expecting to meet a biological female and vice versa, you can label this preference as non-issue or stupid but it doesn't change the fact that this is what they can want.

I could compare this false advertising to hiding one's age is significantly higher than perceived, or hiding the information about ones terminal illness. It shouldn't cause problems if one can go beyond face value but not everyone does that and why should they be forced to change it.

If anything we need more social acceptance of being open about our preferences and status. People shouldn't react negatively to honesty or tg coming out of hiding. There should be respect for a variety of situations.

Which also essentially leaves them sterile, dependent on hormone therapy, living shorter lives, unable to have sex (depending on their state).

Sure I can agree that it's a correction to put their bodies in line with their minds, but their factual disadvantages are undeniable, I believe it may become a non-issue once gender alteration becomes comprehensive.

Yes, this was kind of understood as a basis for my prior comments -- there are things that need to be discussed by any couple, so that the relationship can be mutually agreed upon and beneficial to all parties. Obviously, sterility is one of those factors and can impact any relationship, not just trans, especially for younger couples who are more likely to want to have children.

I'm in agreement that the inability to be treated legitimately is one reason why people might not disclose. Aside from the discrimination that can occur professionally and socially, as well as safety issues, it would be horribly infuriating to have someone perceive you one way to all of their senses, then to discount you immediately by something they potentially could never even verify except that you bothered to tell them out of honesty in the first place. I do think there's a social shift occurring, and the stigma will fade somewhat (just like it did with the LGB population) as people realize that some people they respect and like are actually trans, and it doesn't change anything about them.

I'm not really sure where you're getting the "live shorter lives" thing, however, since this really hasn't been a treated medical phenomena until the last 40-50 years, and the data wouldn't be mature. At this point, now that medical treatment itself is stable and professional, aside from the increase in suicide risk due to social discrimination (which we are noting here), it seems that people are living just as long at this point in time.

(It's like my cystic fibrosis kid's lifespan -- current lifespan is somewhere in the 50's, but that is based on the prior generation's lifespan because they only know when THAT generation has been dying. My kid's lifespan is probably around 65-70 at this point with proper treatment and the latest medical advancement.)

 

[Seteleechete]

Some variation of a dismissive "whatever" was my response the two times I interacted with transgender people, accurately portraying just how little I care about how they identify their gender identity.

I would be annoyed if such information wasn't revealed to me in some sort of mid/long term relation(because of hiding it) Hiding the status due to fear/emotional trauma is something I can understand, I'd be far less pleased if the motive was more manipulative in nature. But I'd probably be displeased regardless, though admittedly there could be redeeming circumstances.

I am sexually attracted to feminine looking people but it doesn't really matter if they actually are female. I am actually annoyed at my heterosexuality(or rather my limited ability to influence my sexual preferences) It's irksome.

Hmm, I actually just got some wild theories involving the effects of expectations and proper imposition of characterization, I'll have to think some, in regards to this matter.

I also have a bit of a disconnect in regards to transgender people's willingness to go so far despite the inconvenience. I recognise their reasoning is valid(usually in regards to reaching emotional equilibrium?) it's just that I am such a mental rather than a physical person that I have a hard time emphasising properly. But that's a fixable issue I will just have to think a bit deeper on it.

... Okay, clearly my mind is in a total fritz atm, I think I need some rest.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

I'm not really sure where you're getting the "live shorter lives" thing, however,
(It's like my cystic fibrosis kid's lifespan -- current lifespan is somewhere in the 50's, but that is based on the prior generation's lifespan because they only know when THAT generation has been dying. My kid's lifespan is probably around 65-70 at this point with proper treatment and the latest medical advancement.)

You have a good point here. I'm of opinion that any instance of hormonal therapy correlates with cardiovascular disease and cancer risk so it should affect the lifespan. It is a new phenomenon and more data is needed.

 

[Jennywocky]

You have a good point here. I'm of opinion that any instance of hormonal therapy correlates with cardiovascular disease and cancer risk so it should affect the lifespan. It is a new phenomenon and more data is needed.

What I have seen is risks go up for the new gender (e.g., if you are taking estrogen, your risk of breast cancer is obviously going up) but can also lower for the old gender's risks.

However, another problem in the past was hormone abuse or not going under a doctor's care (since medical insurance would not cover until recent years), so it's plausible some of the old data was due to taking risky amounts of hormones. Both estrogen and testosterone when abused can cause health issues (such as pulmonary embolisms for estrogen?)

 

[crippli]

Having said that, I would go batshit crazy on anyone's ass if we'd had intimate relations without them disclosing that sort of thing.


Isn't that sort of the point with having sex, to go batshit crazy on the others ass? Why would they want to disclose that sort of thing?

What would you do with their ass if they did disclose that sort of thing?

 

[xbox]

did i mention that i am an 18 yr old boy who identifies as a femine person

 

[Pyropyro]

I'm male and identify as male.

I really don't want to know one's sexual inclination unless:
1) It's part of an open conversation like this one.
2) one's planning to grind their genitals on mine.

@xbox - Hey it's cool. I like your posts and your identity doesn't change anything about it.