Would You Rather...

[Crystabelle]

Would you rather have your foot stepped on by an elephant or be punched in the junk by a penguin?

P.S. I can't take credit for this fascinating mind bending question. Some random hippie dudes who may or may not have been high as kites asked my teen son and his buddies at a state park last year. I've been pondering it ever sense. Need more input.

 

[Crystabelle]

What's your Would You Rather?

 

[Rixus]

Surely the penguin would do less permanent damage? Hence, I guess I'd chose the penguin.

Would you rather spend an intimate night with Donald Trump or the penguin that punched me in the nuts?

 

[Cognisant]

Reply to Rixus:
The penguin without a doubt the penguin.

Reply to OP:
Most penguins are quite small and even an emporer pemguin's wing/flipper isn't going to hit very hard, it would really be more of a slap or upward chop.

Would you rather drown or be strangled by a penguin?

 

[QuickTwist]

Surely the penguin would do less permanent damage? Hence, I guess I'd chose the penguin.

Would you rather spend an intimate night with Donald Trump or the penguin that punched me in the nuts?

Are the two mutually exclusive?

 

[Crystabelle]

Would you rather spend an intimate night with Donald Trump or the penguin that punched me in the nuts?

LLOL!

Definitely the penguin. I think it would be more cuddly and less orange.

Reply to Rixus:
Would you rather drown or be strangled by a penguin?

Strangled by a penguin. Rather have a deranged penguin to blame than my stupidity.

If you were being attacked by a penguin who wanted to strangle you, would you rather have the aide of an old pot holder or Donald Trump?

 

[Jennywocky]

Would you rather spend an intimate night with Donald Trump or the penguin that punched me in the nuts?

Is "intimate" defined as tapping someone on the noggin, carving them up with a chainsaw, and storing the body parts in a freezer to be brought out every so often to go shark chumming, or are we going with the more conventional definition of intimate = making whoopie?

If it's the latter, I suppose I'd rather overheat a penguin.

 

[0neKiwi]

If you were being attacked by a penguin who wanted to strangle you, would you rather have the aide of an old pot holder or Donald Trump?

I'd have the aide of an intelligent old pot holder. Donald Trump's most prominent skill is to provoke others while bluffing, and I would rather not provoke the penguin who wanted to strangle me. But then again, it might be an interesting challenge. Somebody else choose that challenge though.

Would you rather die by falling off the roof of a 10-story building or by being crushed by the 10-story building (on the first floor)?

 

[redbaron]

Would you rather fight a horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

I'll take the penguin junk punch. Less likely to cause lasting damage.

 

[Cognisant]

The horse sized duck would lay on the floor hardly able to breathe while the miniture horses would flop around energetically unable to balance themselves with such low inertia. I would capture, breed and sell the duck sized horses, derpy as they may be I'm sure little girls across the world will adore these super minature ponies.

Would you rather be able to fly or have a dollar legally added to your bank account every time someone used the word "literally" wrong?

 

[0neKiwi]

Would you rather be able to fly or have a dollar legally added to your bank account every time someone used the word "literally" wrong.

Nice try. If by fly you mean fly using a private plane or something, I'd rather have a dollar legally added to my bank account every time "literally" was used wrong. Then I'd say use literally wrong some millions of times, become a millionaire, correct my use of the word, and buy a private plane. By the way, use a question mark instead of a period.

 

[Crystabelle]

Would you rather be able to fly or have a dollar legally added to your bank account every time someone used the word "literally" wrong?

Excellent use of question mark.

 

[Nebulous]

OP: penguin boob punch
They can't even brunch bro

My question (it da best):
Would you rather smell like cat pee or rotten eggs for the rest of your life? (Same potency)?

 

[Pyropyro]

OP: penguin boob punch
They can't even brunch bro

My question (it da best):
Would you rather smell like cat pee or rotten eggs for the rest of your life? (Same potency)?

Rotten eggs, I basically produce Hydrogen sulfide 24/7 which means I can go rich by producing & selling Sulfur and Hydrogen. Cat piss is way too complex chemically speaking and useless for monetary gain.

Would you rather have eternal jet lag or inability to orgasm?

 

[Rixus]

Rotten eggs, I basically produce Hydrogen sulfide 24/7 which means I can go rich by producing & selling Sulfur and Hydrogen. Cat piss is way too complex chemically speaking and useless for monetary gain.

Would you rather have eternal jet lag or inability to orgasm?

Jet Lag. I'd be really tired, but at least I'd be happy about it.

Would you rather be executed for a crime you didn't commit, or be guilty of accidentally killing your loved one and not get caught?

 

[Cognisant]

Well any significant other that tries to get me executed for a crime I didn't commit deserves to die so I don't think I'd be all that upset about it.

Would you rather a million dollars or be the official king of Mars!

 

[Happy]

Official King of Mars.
Just for that extra business card title.

It's a year in the not too distant future where science has advanced to a level that head transplants are possible. You are in a horrific accident where the aforementioned procedure is necessary. Would you rather have your head placed on a donor's body but they fuck up the procedure and the bottom of your neck is placed on the top of the donor's neck, giving you an extra long neck with 2 Adam's apples (you're seen as a freak and it permeates all aspects of your life);
OR
would you rather the procedure goes normally, but your donor body is 20 years older than you? (Quality of life is poorer, and you may die earlier, but nobody sees you as disfigured)

 

[Cognisant]

The extra long neck sounds kinda cool, with my super deep strangely melodic two toned voice I'd probably become the next Morgan Freeman of voice acting.

If I offered you a potion that has a 50/50 chance of killing you or making you immortal, in the fantasy sense that you can live forever without aging but still be killed like any mortal, would you drink it or just be content with your natural lifespan however long or short it may be~

 

[Nebulous]

The extra long neck sounds kinda cool, with my super deep strangely melodic two toned voice I'd probably become the next Morgan Freeman of voice acting.

If I offered you a potion that has a 50/50 chance of killing you or making you immortal, in the fantasy sense that you can live forever without aging but still be killed like any mortal, would you drink it or just be content with your natural lifespan however long or short it may be~

I woluld take the potion but I'd drink it when I knew I was about to die anyway- of old age or wtv
If it works it works and when I get sick of living so long I'll figure out some way to die
If it kills me that's fine cuz I was about to die anyway


Would you rather:
your eyes constantly feel awful. Tired, scratchy, with that horrible pressure on them, and there's no relief.
Or you have a moderate sore throat all the time- it does hurt to swallow or yawn etc, but it's not severe.

 

[Rixus]

I woluld take the potion but I'd drink it when I knew I was about to die anyway- of old age or wtv
If it works it works and when I get sick of living so long I'll figure out some way to die
If it kills me that's fine cuz I was about to die anyway


Would you rather:
your eyes constantly feel awful. Tired, scratchy, with that horrible pressure on them, and there's no relief.
Or you have a moderate sore throat all the time- it does hurt to swallow or yawn etc, but it's not severe.

But wouldn't you be immortally old and on the edge of death then? The potion didn't say it made you youthful again.

I'd take the throat. That I could learn to live with. Itchy sore eyes just no.

Would rather live another hundred years in perfect health, but you will never be able to touch another human (no cheating with full body condoms, though), or another 20 years but you get to spend it with your absolutely perfect ideal soul mate and touch all you want?

 

[Crystabelle]

Would rather live another hundred years in perfect health, but you will never be able to touch another human (no cheating with full body condoms, though), or another 20 years but you get to spend it with your absolutely perfect ideal soul mate and touch all you want?

20 years with perfect soul mate. The other option sounds like my personal hell.

If you were going to be stranded on a remote uninhabited island for 30 years with only one thing to read, would you rather have A) the Bible, B) college level physics textbook, or C) the entire Twighlight series?

 

[onesteptwostep]

20 years with perfect soul mate. The other option sounds like my personal hell.

If you were going to be stranded on a remote uninhabited island for 30 years with only one thing to read, would you rather have A) the Bible, B) college level physics textbook, or C) the entire Twighlight series?

To be honest, the entire Twilight series, because it's at least something I can read and understand the narrative of, without someone having to explain to me what the significance of what the exegesis was. If I were able to choose what Bible I could choose however, I probably would choose one that had a lot of footnotes and appendixes in, so I wouldn't have to try and understand what it was trying to say without having to resort to a pastor.

Choosing a college level physics textbook sounds like I would have to do homework on an island, which is ridiculous to me.

Would you rather be Kim Jong Un for a day or would you rather be Donald Trump?

 

[Rixus]

To be honest, the entire Twilight series, because it's at least something I can read and understand the narrative of, without someone having to explain to me what the significance of what the exegesis was. If I were able to choose what Bible I could choose however, I probably would choose one that had a lot of footnotes and appendixes in, so I wouldn't have to try and understand what it was trying to say without having to resort to a pastor.

Choosing a college level physics textbook sounds like I would have to do homework on an island, which is ridiculous to me.

Would you rather be Kim Jong Un for a day or would you rather be Donald Trump?

Personally i would have rather have my nuts pecked at by the penguin up thread than have nothing to read but Twilight 20 years. Eek.

Donald Trump - because then I could take him to the remotest part of the world on the centre of the Pacific Ocean 1,500 mike's from land and when I stopped being there at the end of the day, no one would ever find him. I'm sure I could manage it with all those resources at his disposal.

Would you rather be left there to die slowly over the course of seven days like he would be, or have to be his love slave for a year?

 

[Procinogen]

Would you rather have your foot stepped on by an elephant or be punched in the junk by a penguin?

P.S. I can't take credit for this fascinating mind bending question. Some random hippie dudes who may or may not have been high as kites asked my teen son and his buddies at a state park last year. I've been pondering it ever sense. Need more input.

I would assume being punched by a penguin would hurt significantly less than being stepped on by an elephant.

 

[Creeping Death]

Left there to die.



Go hunting with Dick Cheney or have a cocktail with Bill Cosby?

 

[Crystabelle]

Go hunting with Dick Cheney or have a cocktail with Bill Cosby?

Dick Cheney. Rather be maimed than molested.

Would you rather have immortality or be able to save one person, past or present, from death (they would still be mortal)?

 

[Crystabelle]

I would assume being punched by a penguin would hurt significantly less than being stepped on by an elephant.

Elephant feet are very cushioned. And depending on what type of ground you were standing on, isn't it possible it might not hurt much at all?

 

[washti]

Have immortality.

Would you rather get moles over all face or lose both middle fingers?

 

[Rixus]

The moles. I can learn to apply make up.

Would you rather be punched in the face every morning by a heavyweight boxer, or have to eat a sandwich made of turd once month (assuming no poisoning or desease would result from the sandwich).

[Credit to my 11 year old for just asking me that one]

 

[Crystabelle]

Would you rather be punched in the face every morning by a heavyweight boxer, or have to eat a sandwich made of turd once month (assuming no poisoning or desease would result from the sandwich).

[Credit to my 11 year old for just asking me that one]

 

[Reluctantly]

The moles. I can learn to apply make up.

Would you rather be punched in the face every morning by a heavyweight boxer, or have to eat a sandwich made of turd once month (assuming no poisoning or desease would result from the sandwich).

[Credit to my 11 year old for just asking me that one]

Wow, easy, I can just wear body armor around my head. You never said it had to hurt and I'll still have some kind of dignity then. Eating turds is super gross and weird. Like what the shit dude. Even without the armor, eating shit to avoid pain is kind of pathetic. Oh, your kid came up with it. I see.

Would you rather have a million dollars, but have to watch Battlefield Earth attentively once every day until you die or be the smartest person in the world, but have no hands?

 

[Cognisant]

No hands, I wouldn't even get prosthetics I'd just have assistants to do everything for me, even wipe my ass and hold my dick when I pee.

Would you rather have absolutely no sense of humor or be incredibly amused by the most inappropriate things?

 

[Cognisant]

Jeeves my nuts need adjusting.

But sir that's the third time in ten minutes.

I gave up my hands to cure cancer.

Yes sir.

 

[Creeping Death]

Well, I already am incredibly amused by the most inappropriate things, so there.

Live the rest of your life in a confined cell, bathroom/shower included, food is brought to you. Anyone can visit but you can never leave... or, every time you leave your house for anything, you must be naked and crawl on all fours, led around on a leash by a large man named Jimbo.

 

[Procinogen]

Well, I already am incredibly amused by the most inappropriate things, so there.

Live the rest of your life in a confined cell, bathroom/shower included, food is brought to you. Anyone can visit but you can never leave... or, every time you leave your house for anything, you must be naked and crawl on all fours, led around on a leash by a large man named Jimbo.

I would rather live in a cell. I already spend most of my time inside inside with the curtains closed. As long as I have my trusty laptop nothing would change much.

 

[Pyropyro]

Well, I already am incredibly amused by the most inappropriate things, so there.

Live the rest of your life in a confined cell, bathroom/shower included, food is brought to you. Anyone can visit but you can never leave... or, every time you leave your house for anything, you must be naked and crawl on all fours, led around on a leash by a large man named Jimbo.

Live life in a confined cell. The interwebs can help you travel anywhere anyways.

I dunno, Jimbo sounds like a bad name.

Would you rather be forced fed on a farm for twenty years and then harvested for your skin and meat or be hunted by experienced big hunters for twenty minutes (if you get caught you die, if you escape then you are free for good.

 

[Nebulous]

Would you rather be forced fed on a farm for twenty years and then harvested for your skin and meat or be hunted by experienced big hunters for twenty minutes (if you get caught you die, if you escape then you are free for good.

Twenty minutes there's a chance of survival, I'm not being force fed cuz that is disgusting and it'd probably be a lot less painful to get shot by hunters


Would you rather be the slave of Hannibal Lector or Loki (from Marvel) ?
You're confined to their house and they do whatever they want with you.

 

[Creeping Death]

Live life in a confined cell. The interwebs can help you travel anywhere anyways.

I dunno, Jimbo sounds like a bad name.

Would you rather be forced fed on a farm for twenty years and then harvested for your skin and meat or be hunted by experienced big hunters for twenty minutes (if you get caught you die, if you escape then you are free for good.

I'm a tad conflicted here. Twenty years gives me plenty of time to plot escape, but I'm wondering what else happens in that twenty years... what am I free to do? Twenty minutes though... I feel as if I could escape that fairly quickly, since big hunters take much longer than that to get a kill. I'll take the twenty minutes.



Be the first human to visit Mars (your name goes down in history like Neil Armstrong), you come back to Earth alive, but don't get payed for it.... or you secretly inherent $1 Billion.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Gimme that money.

A German hotdog or sushi?

 

[nanook]

hotdog, followed by a bunch of purging / cleansing activities.
(don't want parasites, so raw fish is not okay)

would you rather be the guy who, after receiving sufficient feedback, knows of himself, that he is a total hackjob, regarding details and also partially deluded, regarding big picture convictions, but who explores his authentic intelligence, curiosity and passion and shares it with the world, despite being hated for it, which will eventually lead to him failing terribly or would you rather be the person who is proudly assuming the approved role of being perfectly sane and reasonable, by being nothing but a copy of a copy of a copy of whatever people find acceptable?

 

[Shadowlands97]

I'd rather have my soul sucked out of me by sexual intercourse with my tulpa (whom has the form of a succubus), but I guess that's just me.

 

[Creeping Death]

Perfectly sane/reasonable and be considered acceptable. I couldn't be known as a hack and face inevitable failure.

Complete nature lore, no animal will be hostile towards you (and only you) under any circumstances... or be able know exactly how and when anyone will die, yet unable to inform them.

 

[Cognisant]

The latter, I'd become the world's greatest hitman because as long as I have a target I'll know exactly what to do and nothing can stop me because I already know I'm going to succeed, or I know I won't and I don't attempt the hit.

Would you rather die a slow painful death or be assassinated professionally while pooping?

 

[Creeping Death]

Assassinated while pooping.


Impaled or flayed?

 

[Puffy]

Impaled. The idea of being skinned evokes a stronger visceral reaction in me.

Would you rather lose your non-dominant hand or never be able to use a computer for the rest of your life (smart phone, pc, laptop, video-game console, etc)? The removal of the hand can be done with skill and without pain and it cannot be replaced artificially.

 

[Cognisant]

it cannot be replaced artificially.

What's stopping me?

 

[Hadoblado]

Your non-dominant hand thinks it's improper to replace their partner with a robot after their tragic death. Any attempt to replace the hand will be met with mutiny while you sleep.

 

[Cognisant]

I have both hands removed and make prosthetic hands with my feet, tongue and teeth, also a vise, clamps and power tools but you get the idea.

Would you rather be turned into a pickle or a tomato?

 

[Puffy]

Your non-dominant hand thinks it's improper to replace their partner with a robot after their tragic death. Any attempt to replace the hand will be met with mutiny while you sleep.

I have both hands removed and make prosthetic hands with my feet, tongue and teeth, also a vise, clamps and power tools but you get the idea.

So be it, Cog.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awxz-8XR938