Why when I'm winning does something unconscious in me slow myself down?

[oski369]

I've noticed lately that when I'm doing really well in something, I subconsciously start to go 70% effort. Idk if subconscious is the word cause I see myself doing it, yet my conscious intention, to continue to do really well, loses to this strange force.
There are 2 scenarios I've noticed this happen in.

1) When playing sports with people. If I've been scoring a lot I feel this sort of guilt that says "pass the ball even though the best thing for your team is for you to shoot right now" or "miss this shot because you shouldn't be taking it, you've already done more than you should be." I feel as though people are judging me for continuing to do well, to show off, when I've already done better than everyone on the court, an "OK we get it already your really good now lay off so we can all have fun." The only way I can play well sustainably without feeling this way is if the player on the other team I defend is as good as me or better, and trying hard; then I have no issue.

2) When taking a test, if I look at the clock and am ahead of schedule, I will purposefully waste time. Something takes over me and forces me to day dream, to quadruple check answers I already know, to reread the same question 5 times before comprehending it, all the while a voice is telling me "your ahead of clock." On my LSAT I made the mistake of looking at the clock halfway through the reading section and the 2nd half of the question alone ended up accounting for 90% of my errors between all sections.

I don't need to take tests nor play sports to perfection; they both will have minimal impact on my life. But I in recognizance of how short our time here is, I do wish to put 100% effort in as much of what I do when I'm doing it as possible, and I know that this problem I have transcends into other aspects of my life.

Anybody experience this and if so can you give me any advice?

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

yeah if youre not particularly invested in an activity, shifting ultimatums unto the urgency itself and turning it into a challenge(eg. can i finish a 20 page report in such record time?) is a nice mind trick you can play on yourself to help you go through with the task
otherwise...if theres no sense of urgency, theres no motivation
i know this too well :'(

 

[The Gopher]

Set artificial goals. If improvement is the goal try for riskier shots and more difficult but unnecessary maneuvers. Practice winning only doing 3 point shots for instance. (I don't know much about basketball so you'll have to work it out) In a chase or race if I'm clearly in the lead I slow down but only to make sure I don't mess up. If someone starts catching up I speed up. As far as in tests though I'm not sure what to say. Quadruple checking questions is good but only at the end. Make it your goal to finish first then go back and spend as long as you like on double checking. Maybe even mark questions you aren't sure about or want to double check and move on immediately. That way you have the motivation to finish because you know you need time to go back and check it again.

Also for sports keep in mind you suck relative to people better than you. The people now don't matter you need to improve for the people you haven't met yet.

 

[Mustafa]

I didn't read all yet.

I say there are primary reasons, they being the world is inverted due to the fact there is a fight, and war is deception. So you are confused.

The secondary reasons are your choises while being confused. Like western women chosing to be half dressed, while others chose to be fully dressed.

Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Peace

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

for tests: maybe aggregate your goals? idk maybe doing something counter-intuitive like skipping all the difficult questions and getting the easier ones done first will help you retain a sense of urgency the entire time

I didn't read all yet.

I say there are primary reasons, they being the world is inverted due to the fact there is a fight, and war is deception. So you are confused.

The secondary reasons are your choises while being confused. Like western women chosing to be half dressed, while others chose to be fully dressed.

Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Peace

wut

 

[Mustafa]

Those who say don't know. Those who know don't say.

 

[Ex-User (11125)]

Omg more moonbeams wth are you talking about

 

[oski369]

Those who say don't know. Those who know don't say.

Thank you

 

[Hadoblado]

You're not intrinsically motivated.

You only want to do good enough, but you seem to lack any genuine investment in the process or outcome, so long as you don't cause it to go bad. You're content merely to exceed expectations. Who could ask more of you?

You've got two options that I see:

Find something that you are intrinsically motivated to do and pursue it relentlessly.

OR

Adjust your environment to one that holds higher expectations of you.

 

[Happy]

Sounds like you just like being challenged so much that you need to make things harder once they start to become easy. I went through the same thing. Don't worry too much about it, because it builds resilience. But just practise not letting yourself sabotage yourself when it really matters or you'll make a habit of it (not good)

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

If I've been scoring a lot I feel this sort of guilt that says "pass the ball even though the best thing for your team is for you to shoot right now" or "miss this shot because you shouldn't be taking it, you've already done more than you should be."

Depends strongly on the details. If say you're playing to win, there's big money on the line, then yeah, you're doing everyone a disfavour and shooting yourself in the foot, if however you're playing for fun or to improve then keeping your mates happy and building rapport is much more important than stealing the show every time.

It probably says something about your personality, whether you're the kind of sensitive person to notice others and let them shine, or focus more on yourself. In team games it's important to give everyone similar opportunities for practice and confidence building.

I do wish to put 100% effort in as much of what I do

I wish I could consistently put 1% of effort into uninspiring things. I studied 15 minutes for my last exam and still got a passing grade, I could't be bothered to put another 15 minutes to get a max score, I sort of wish I'd failed so that I'd review and ace the 2nd sit.

The secondary reasons are your choises while being confused. Like western women chosing to be half dressed, while others chose to be fully dressed.

How is this troll not banned yet, lol.

 

[Niclmaki]

I have no answers for you, but I do relate. As soon as I discovered 60% was a passing grade in school, that's all I would aim for.

I did get 80% in my IT classes though. Probably just because I actually enjoyed it.