Which type(s) are INTPs attracted to?

[ChrisM]

This was inspired by a similar poll over at the intj forums.


Which types are you most attracted to, specifically for pursuing a long-term relationship (wait, do we do that??!)?

This was also inspired by this page outlining the best relationships for each type. It says this for INTPs...

INTP
Flexible and adaptable
Want to make sense of concepts, and the world
Logical and analytical- want others to be logical
May have great powers of concentration
Like abstract and symbolic thinking
Often non-traditional
May be seen as aloof; out of touch with the world
Under stress: may feel overwhelmed and misunderstood

Best types for a relationship: ENTP, INTP, INTJ
Possible types for a relationship: ESTJ, ISTJ, ESTP, ENTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ENFP, INFP
Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTP, ESFP, ISFP
Percentage of the US population: 5-6%

I always thought that ENTJs were the ideal match. It makes sense now why I seem to prefer other types. This site is fairly accurate with which types I feel most attracted to.

EDIT: Forgot the link.

 

[murkrow]

Fuck that.

ENTJ is the best match to INTP and only cowardly ones afraid of reaching their absolute potential would ever even consider an INTJ.

 

[ChrisM]

I do think it's a great match, don't get me wrong.

However, I don't think INTP-INTJ has anything to do with potential (I can handle my own personal growth, thanks) but more to do with how affection is given from both sides.

If you are registered over at intjforum.com, here is an example of such a relationship (and long-term issues).

 

[ChrisM]

Fuck that.

ENTJ is the best match to INTP and only cowardly ones afraid of reaching their absolute potential would ever even consider an INTJ.

Also, it would be beneficial to the thread if you would verify your claims through personal experience or other means (not just quoting some website). Do you have expertise in Jungian theory? If so, enlighten us.

Back up your claim.

 

[murkrow]

I have not quoted a website neither was I going to. (neither have I ever)

To claim you can handle your own personal growth is just silly. What purpose is there for having a relationship if you are not benefiting from their insight into your self? If the only thing you are seeking in a relationship is to have a good time then yes, an INTJ is probably a good choice for an INTP.
Since neither the INTP or INTJ is likely to be much of an initiator and both have very similar strengths the amount of development in the relationship will be very low compared to that with a senser, feeler or extrovert.

There are a couple of threads already open here which deal with the ENTJ/INTP relationship. Generally what I've found in my relations with INTPs (though they are all stricly platonic) is that they benefit greatly from having an ENT around. An ENTP will tend to inspire them, maybe even serving as a sort of motivational mentor which shows the INTP that there are worthwhile things to be done. An ENTJ will be one of the few (if not only) enthusiastic challenger of the INTP's ideas who can also keep up with the INTP's thinking.

 

[Cabbo Pearimo]

We all love ourselves.


I actually took the test for that one, though.

 

[ChrisM]

I have not quoted a website neither was I going to. (neither have I ever)

To claim you can handle your own personal growth is just silly. What purpose is there for having a relationship if you are not benefiting from their insight into your self? If the only thing you are seeking in a relationship is to have a good time then yes, an INTJ is probably a good choice for an INTP.
Since neither the INTP or INTJ is likely to be much of an initiator and both have very similar strengths the amount of development in the relationship will be very low compared to that with a senser, feeler or extrovert.

There are a couple of threads already open here which deal with the ENTJ/INTP relationship. Generally what I've found in my relations with INTPs (though they are all stricly platonic) is that they benefit greatly from having an ENT around. An ENTP will tend to inspire them, maybe even serving as a sort of motivational mentor which shows the INTP that there are worthwhile things to be done. An ENTJ will be one of the few (if not only) enthusiastic challenger of the INTP's ideas who can also keep up with the INTP's thinking.

I didn't make myself clear... I wanted you to give your personal reasons (which you did) and not just quote some website.

Hmm, you do get me thinking, I do know an ENTP friend that is always inspiring me to grow (he is inspired by my ability in certain things).

Also, you didn't understand me on the personal growth thing. I was talking about relying on a specific partner (spouse, etc) for it. I have an encouraging family and excellent mentors. I do not need a partner in life, but I most certainly want one. Yes, a big part of relationships is the insight you gain about yourself, but it doesn't have to be a big part. You can get that through other friends, etc. So, my claims are not silly, just misunderstood. Not to say your point isn't certainly valid and important.

ENTJ is a good match, and perhaps overall the best one (who knows?), but not the only one.

 

[murkrow]

no, not the only.

you could potentially have a good relationship with any type.

have you ever been in a long term relationship? A somewhat successful one?

 

[ChrisM]

have you ever been in a long term relationship? A somewhat successful one?

Not long term, but I have never been serious about them. I'm close to the age/point where I am serious (like if things went really well, I would consider a commitment). It doesn't help that I'm planning on being a full time musician.

Somehow I doubt your question is rooted in general interest in me over proving a specific point of yours (although I'm all for any relationship advice if you have it!). We should stick to the thread... should we not?

 

[murkrow]

I was just curious if you had because my view of relationships has really really changed since I've had a long term one.

I am REALLY not trying to say that I know myself better than you know yourself, really really really I'm not.

I'm just saying that your ideas of what you want in a lifetime commitment are very likely to change once you've had a serious relationship.

I totally understand how INTPs could be attracted to INTJs, but I don't think it's an optimum long term match.

 

[ChrisM]

Valuable insight.. thanks for that.

Are you still in that relationship? Do you know his/her personality type?

Edit:
I hate to diverge but I think an ENTJ's opinion is important, seeing how it is commonly viewed as a great match for INTPs (the goal of the thread).

 

[murkrow]

She's an INFJ and no we aren't together anymore.

 

[Zero]

As interesting as I find ENTJs I can't imagine actually being with one...

I get along well with INFPs as long as they aren't too clingy and, if they're confident, I find that I like their sense of humor. It doesn't seem like an INFP and I could relate on the issues or discuss all the things I would like to, but I've always been an introvert and have resorted from debate in conversation to books instead. The INFP would probably feel unloved by me and unsupported.

Now that I think of it, I might get along better with an ENTP. I do admire their personality (as it is described). I've never been in contact with one as far as I know. It depends how energetic they are too.... If I happen to come across and ENTJ or an ENTP who isn't too crazy energetic I might like them. But my P is also strong in the sense that I like to be free to do things, I like to wander off and look around, try to figure things out myself without directions. With ENTJs having such an organizational keenness, I would find it extremely annoying to get bossed around and directed all the time.

Everyone in my family are P types. Which is sometimes stressful (and I've been considering why that is). I would say it's stressful, because I don't always like having to tag along for someone else's spontaneous adventure, especially if it's going to be long and outdoorsy. It's not that I don't like the outdoors, but my idea of hiking is more like strolling. I hate being pulled along and missing everything. I like the calm and curiosities of nature, not so much the sportiness of it.

Maybe I'll go take a look at the ENTP forums. I'm not sure if I would get along with another INTP. I'm kind of depressing at times, which I think is somewhat lightened when I'm around INFPs. I get along with INTJs okay and it seems like they could be supportive if they want to, but I don't think we'd have a good time together. Maybe I could get along with an ENFP. I'm not a very emotionally supportive person though...

+
Reading the ENTP (one entp.org) description I would say I definitely share some qualities with ENTPs. I'm not generally optimistic though and I don't suddenly argue for the sake of arguing. I certainly don't have impressive verbal skills. People have to help me pronounce words sometimes... I often take "problems as personal challenges" and I can quickly become impatient and irritated with other people.

"However, they are often extremely genial and quite charming, when not being harassed by life in general."

I thought that was brilliant. Life, in general, does seem like it harasses me. Some of the statements are "everyone" statements. Like the one about being manipulated, no one wants to be manipulated (I would hope). It also says that ENTPs are socially awkward when they're younger and it takes them a long time to mature. Hmm...

They do sound like fun to be around.

 

[murkrow]

it's somewhat of a mistake to think that ENTJs are bossy and directing in a relationship. To be in a relationship with someone an ENTJ has to respect them, and if they need to tell them what to do all the time to stop them from totally ruining everything then it's very difficult to respect them. ENTJs admire independence and self ownership above almost everything.

ENTPs are great fun but the ones I know seem to have a hard time taking things seriously, including themselves.

 

[Thread Killer]

I'm currently most attracted to INFJs (the warmer ones), INTPs, and ENTJs (They can be quite caring with those they respect, if the ones I have in mind were not ENFJs). ENTPs are alright (currently dating one) but murkrow hit the nail on the head about them being serious (or rather not). They're fun but occasionally I get impatient with their lack of long term perspective. Other than that, we get along but the thing mentioned can kill the potential for attraction. I could see INFPs as attractive, but I think I'm much more drawn to INFJs. ESTPs are alright. One theory (socionics) proposes that ESFPs are an INTP's best match. I can get along with them quite well and they can be attractive, but I'm usually not drawn to them in the romantic way, but I think upon giving it a chance that it is possible.

However, I'm not sure how this all might change once I find someone who I can have a real romantic relationship with. It's very hard for me to fall for most people as I try not to idealize them much, so it's been taking time.

The only person I felt very drawn to where they 'got' me and I 'got' them was ENTJ, I'm pretty sure. Rough and tough on the surface but super romantic inside to where I went from my original ENTJ typing to ENFJ, but that senstivity was barely noticeable from outside observation. Kind as long as one doesn't act stupid. I think they were drawn to my quiet but deep surface and sensed my kindness as I sensed theirs. We exchanged info about our lives and other things casually, but it was clear that we could read more into all that and feel that tender person wanting to come out. It was a very caring relationship even though we could be a bit tactless in how we expressed our disagreement in certain ideas. Yeah, must have been ENTJ.

 

[Jordan~]

ISFPs sound wonderful, I wish I knew people like that.

But they're not on the poll.

I voted INFP, though, since they sound quite nice, too. If they share my taste.

 

[loveofreason]

... ENTJs admire independence and self ownership above almost everything...

Truly? I'm holding on to life for the very day that each and every human awakens to their sovereign nature.

----

ISFP has been instated in the poll options.

 

[Wisp]

Hmmm... I know an INFP that has achieved the highest level of my respect, (One of about 2 or 3 people, for perspective) and he's a musician who leads a group I sing in, mostly because he leads it, and I learn stuff and have fun (what INTPs do) but I find that we do identify with each other fairly well, although, he has a tendency to be too... huggy. I deal, no harm done.

I'm fairly close to an INTJ, and personally, I feel that they'd be much easier to deal with than an ENTJ. Because (quoting Gifts Differing By Isabel Briggs-Meyers, no matter how much Murkrow hates it...) I types get ulcers, and E types give them. Quite frankly, I need my personal space. E s are too loud, and I can't stand talking for the sake of talking. I talk to express ideas. Only when I am completely beaten down and depressed do I talk for the sake of being heard. I enjoy companionship and talk, but it has to be... engaged, and not extraneous.

There. I've said my piece. Sorry Murkrow, but I must decline your theory that an ENTJ is a good match for me, but not necessarily all INTPs.


Also, 600th post! Yay! 400 to go!

 

[Yank]

I don't even know what my x's were, but they share mostly the same traits: center of attention, entertainer-ish, needy. Relationships have lasted anywhere from 1 year to 5 years.

Although I haven't studied the other types that much, I've always wanted to date another INTP but I figure the probability of finding one that I'm attracted to (and vice verse) is extremely low. In fact, just finding another INTP in my area would probably be a chore in itself.

 

[Kuu]

My last relationship was with an ESTJ. It was ok, especially considering that her E wasn't so high. But under just the slightest stress, her J was impossible to deal with. She needed everything neatly ordered, planned, or scheduled, weeks in advance, even going so far as to scheduling time for schedule-making.

Where are the more introspective ENTJs and ENTPs hiding?

 

[murkrow]

Hmmm... I know an INFP that has achieved the highest level of my respect, (One of about 2 or 3 people, for perspective) and he's a musician who leads a group I sing in, mostly because he leads it, and I learn stuff and have fun (what INTPs do) but I find that we do identify with each other fairly well, although, he has a tendency to be too... huggy. I deal, no harm done.

I'm fairly close to an INTJ, and personally, I feel that they'd be much easier to deal with than an ENTJ. Because (quoting Gifts Differing By Isabel Briggs-Meyers, no matter how much Murkrow hates it...) I types get ulcers, and E types give them. Quite frankly, I need my personal space. E s are too loud, and I can't stand talking for the sake of talking. I talk to express ideas. Only when I am completely beaten down and depressed do I talk for the sake of being heard. I enjoy companionship and talk, but it has to be... engaged, and not extraneous.

There. I've said my piece. Sorry Murkrow, but I must decline your theory that an ENTJ is a good match for me, but not necessarily all INTPs.


Also, 600th post! Yay! 400 to go!

At the risk of seeming overbearing and unable to keep quiet (lol) I have to point out, as I have done before, that the idea that E's will talk only to hear their own voices is somewhat of a misconception. I believe the tendency to engage in small talk has much for to do with the middle lessers (N/S T/F) than the first letter. ENTJs compete with INTJs as the most "no nonsense" type.
Also, as I have said earlier in this thread, I can entirely understand how an INTP would consider INTJs more attractive than ENTJs, and I strongly suspect that the sources which supply INTJs over ENTJs as the best matches for INTPs are heavily influenced by what attracts INTPs and less influenced by what has actually been proven to be an effective match.

If small talk is something that bothers you then you would revel in the presence of an ENTJ. I can tell you that small talk has been almost entirely void from my life for the last several years because my very presence quenches any of the comfort inherent in such discussions. ENTJs are always trying to get something out of everything they are doing, and they are generally uncompromising in their methods in obtaining it. (unlike an ENTP who would be likely to allow the small talk to continue, directing it casually towards topics of their interest and sifting the meaning out of the drivel.)

Where are the more introspective ENTJs and ENTPs hiding?

the probability of finding a female ENTJ is low enough, add in the need for one with deeper self understanding and you're looking at maybe... a few million world wide? maybe?

 

[Jordan~]

I don't think I could cope with an E type if they were always there. They make good friends (if you can get them on their own and not with some thouroughly unimpressive person they've befriended), but I'd far rather have someone introverted for a romantic relationship.

 

[GYX_Kid]

ENTP, ENFP, ISTP, INFJ

 

[P.H.]

I am currently in a relationship with an ISTP for three years and we do fine

We had our problems regarding our communication when we are debating science stuff (he is totally into physics) but we've learned to accept each others thinking style. He is more concrete and I am more abstract, and in a way we complement each other.

I really like his outgoing thrill-seeking behaviour. He's a freerunner and does flips off buildings and stuff like that. At first it scared the living daylight out of me but now I respect him for it. And whenever I'm closed up inside he pulls me out and we do some sensing stuff together, which I actually like. Though it makes me very, very tired.

So I'd say I'm in a healthy relationship. We listen to each others needs and though the way we think is very different, we have insight in the other person's thought process so it doesn't result into arguing.

Edit: I usually fall for INTP's or ISFP's, it was also a bit of a surprise for me to fall for an ISTP.

 

[xbox]

I totally understand how INTPs could be attracted to INTJs, but I don't think it's an optimum long term match.

I think you're right. My ex was an INTJ. Then I broke up with him. :/

Lately I've been attracting "E" types. As annoying as they are, they seem intrigued by the "I" type.

I don't know though.. because I don't like ENTJ's

Therefore I might be single for quite some time.

 

[GYX_Kid]

I think you're right. My ex was an INTJ. Then I broke up with him. :/

Lately I've been attracting "E" types. As annoying as they are, they seem intrigued by the "I" type.

I don't know though.. because I don't like ENTJ's

Therefore I might be single for quite some time.

E types are easy for us, especially when they do all the work. i guess that tendency could also be J.

must suck to be a girl attracting male ExxJ's. ENTJ is stereotypically the personality disorder subhuman tyrant fuck, but it really isn't absolute like that. there are some (overall) awesome ENTJs.

one time i happened to attract a really sociopathic and gay ENFJ, who was like an evil cartman in real life.

 

[Hadoblado]

one time i happened to attract a really sociopathic and gay ENFJ, who was like an evil cartman in real life.

hahahahahahaha



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Hadoblado]

 

[GYX_Kid]

yeah it was funny. i was tolerant of what i thought was just some asshole-ish humor in general from a lonely weirdo, and then i got that stalking me. you learn something new all the time haha.

 

[xbox]

one time i happened to attract a really sociopathic and gay ENFJ, who was like an evil cartman in real life.

Hahaha

 

[Trebuchet]

Fuck that.

ENTJ is the best match to INTP and only cowardly ones afraid of reaching their absolute potential would ever even consider an INTJ.

I thought you had to be joking, but then I read more and it looked like you weren't. I'm so glad you like you ENTJ, but your ideas about INTJs are so ... wrong.

 

[Iuanes]

Where are the more introspective ENTJs and ENTPs hiding?

I think I met one. ENFP/J. Thought she was nice and affable and open but I din't think she was quite complex enough be interesting over a long period of time. She eventually surprised me with her depth and intensity of introspection.

Maybe they're hiding in the open.

 

[PennyRoyalty]

I'm attracted to other INTPs, a bit of a boring answer but it'd be very nice to find a girl that thinks the way I do.

 

[Bird]

I am a minority ^_^


Too bad I can't win scholarships or
imply hate crimes with this one ):

 

[Somnium]

must suck to be a girl attracting male ExxJ's. ENTJ is stereotypically the personality disorder subhuman tyrant fuck, but it really isn't absolute like that. there are some (overall) awesome ENTJs.

one time i happened to attract a really sociopathic and gay ENFJ, who was like an evil cartman in real life.

HAHAHAHAHA subhuman tyrant fucks? I laughed.

Anyways regarding this thread, yes I rather hate domineering types. I hate being controlled, something my dad used to do a lot.

I've recently discovered I am much more attracted to the introverted types. I do admire extroverted rationals, but I feel I connect with introvert much more. Introverts seems to intrigue me more, the "difficulty" of cracking them when I am reserved myself feels much more interesting than someone throwing themselves onto me at first sight. Actually, it seems that extroverts are indeed rather interested in introverts, I think many of the people who showed interest in me were very extroverted individuals.

However it doesn't mean I'll close doors to liking extroverts. It all depends on the chemistry and how we can relate.

 

[GYX_Kid]

^ haha I'm sorry. I wrote that back "then"

in all seriousness, in my experience yeah an ENTJ is going to have too notable a personality to not fall somewhere on the:

-Humorous and admirable
-Annoying
-Intelligent parasite

scale.

I might be most ...attracted to (the existence of) ENTJ for that reason, that they seem to be always noteworthy in reality's playfield, at least on a superficial level. Whether they're my favorite band leader to look up to for influence, or my arch nemesis to slaughter.
Maybe these are latent ENTJ tendencies turned outside-in instead of inside-out.

Females? I dunno... E*FP seems cute and convenient

 

[Pride]

All I know is that I prefer extroverts, and decisive girls over non-decisive girls. So I would say, EXXJ types.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Elemental theory (? ....sure)

ESTJ: fire
INTJ: ice
ENTJ: fiery ice
ISTJ: icy fire

INTP: icy nothingness
...with powers to robotically understand and master

any F-type: "soul"
and default mammalian social instinct over 30 units


ENTP's are comedy and SP's are crafty artisans with not as strictly-defined elemental leanings


(Just talking, not what I'm necessarily attracted to here)

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

INTP
INFP
ENTP
ENFP

In order of preference... What can I say? I like xNxPs...

 

[Bird]

ENTJ.
ISTP.
INTP.
ESTP.

 

[Words]

Me: No pattern.

I'd say no pattern for the entire type as well.

 

[naama]

Im most attracted to ENFPs, but i dunno if i would meet someone who is some other type and i would be more attracted to her more than any ENFP

 

[burtstanton]

INFJ and INFP.

 

[Puffy]

one time i happened to attract a really sociopathic and gay ENFJ, who was like an evil cartman in real life.

I'm sorry, an evil Cartman? What the hell is an ordinary Cartman?

 

[Melllvar]

Me: No pattern.

I'd say no pattern for the entire type as well.

Same. And I try not to think about it. People are a lot more than their type.

There are much more important factors than a person's MBTI type (I'm not referring to physicality either). Not to mention the inherent bias and flaws in trying to pigeonhole people and predict future compatibility based on perceived MBTI type. In other words, people seem to suck enough at typing each other, do you really want to go down this road?

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Same. And I try not to think about it. People are a lot more than their type.

There are much more important factors than a person's MBTI type (I'm not referring to physicality either). Not to mention the inherent bias and flaws in trying to pigeonhole people and predict future compatibility based on perceived MBTI type. In other words, people seem to suck enough at typing each other, do you really want to go down this road?

This makes me feel the need to clarify my thought process because I don't want to seem like I'm choosing anyone and everyone who's that type and no one who isn't. I just like the general idea or stereotype of these types, if you know what I mean.

 

[dark]

I instantly fall for an INFJ, but I learned to quickly get the fuck out of the relationship before they destroy me for a couple months.

Currently I find myself attracted to Extraverted Feelers, well as long as she isn't a dumb ass.

It annoys me how the females seem to think they have to appear stupid to make a guy want them. For me it is the reverse, if she seems stupid, I don't want her. It may just be the culture currently and a gender role whatever, but it is stupid as hell. Females should not act like they are stupid and too many are made to feel like they have to play the ditzy no brains chick, when in reality I have talked to some of them and they are very intelligent yet they were just raised believing that is how they should act just as males gender role is they have to act unemotional (which is natural for Ts) while there are some males like one of my friends who is a F and he constantly feels like he has to act against his natural state.

Blah blah blah.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

The Attractive Socialite
The Star
The Weird Girl with Highlights that Likes Punk/Ska/Psychobilly etc
Adrenaline Rush Lover
Competitive Tomboy
Party Girl/Everyone's (Best) Friend
The Shy Female:

1. Touchy
2. Goofy

hmm..

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

The Attractive Socialite
The Star
The Weird Girl with Highlights that Likes Punk/Ska/Psychobilly etc
Adrenaline Rush Lover
Competitive Tomboy
Party Girl/Everyone's (Best) Friend
The Shy Female:

1. Touchy
2. Goofy

hmm..

Could you attach a socionics type to each of these?

There is no extra data needed to consider, other than your judgements themselves. Thus classification is logically possible with the data you have already.

 

[Pride]

Just met a girl today; assumed to be EXXJ, albeit leaning towards F and N. Will observe and analyze further. Very cute. Feeling a much stronger innate attraction than the girl I am currently dating. Will pursue further.