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OK, it's on.
when you are melancholy and others find an incessant need to attempt to cheer you up
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EyeSeeCold
lust for life
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Scarlett Hayden
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And i thought i was the only one. Yeah it really pisses me off. It's like people feel they're responible for you. No one but myself is responsible for me thankyou very much, and as a matter of fact i feel so much happier depressed than i do talking to mindless zombies who call themselves my friends. Rant ect.
And visa-versa when people expect me to cheer them up because it's some sort of unwritten social etiquette. Bleurrgh. I don't expect anything of anyone else so they shouldn't expect anything of me either.
It truly is one of the most annoying things.
And visa-versa when people expect me to cheer them up because it's some sort of unwritten social etiquette. Bleurrgh. I don't expect anything of anyone else so they shouldn't expect anything of me either.
It truly is one of the most annoying things.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
Nicely put.
For me, listening to complementary melancholic music doesn't intensify my mood or prolong it, but rather it dissipates it, I naturally get it out of my system then I am back to an equilibrium state of mind.
MissQuote
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exactly
GYX_Kid
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What feeling types do is they try to check-up on your current emotional state, and probably aren't often aware that the person (such as me) is not really paying attention to their own feeeeelings to that degree. "How are you" is also an open-ended and rather substance-void question.
If I'm feeling tired and shitty, I'll just lie down and then probably feel better after eating something. I don't need a bunch of bullshit, and I don't care if you're "there for me," what the fuck. But I just ignore it without even looking like they're bothering me, because it's usually not such a big deal
I believe that empathy =/= understanding. That being said, there can be a lot to learn from realizing what something makes you feel, and then using it to project onto others, since that process tends to be widely socially successful. And there is something to be gained from that, whatever you decide to use it for.
If I'm feeling tired and shitty, I'll just lie down and then probably feel better after eating something. I don't need a bunch of bullshit, and I don't care if you're "there for me," what the fuck. But I just ignore it without even looking like they're bothering me, because it's usually not such a big deal
I believe that empathy =/= understanding. That being said, there can be a lot to learn from realizing what something makes you feel, and then using it to project onto others, since that process tends to be widely socially successful. And there is something to be gained from that, whatever you decide to use it for.
GYX_Kid
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Oh and by the way
My one obnoxious judgement is that INTPs should learn to appreciate melancholic black metal for their occasional needs
My one obnoxious judgement is that INTPs should learn to appreciate melancholic black metal for their occasional needs
Mello
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Aw.
Does someone need a hug?
Trust me. You'll feel better.
Does someone need a hug?
Trust me. You'll feel better.
Darby
New(ish)
I think it depends, there are times when I just shut myself off, and don't go outside unless I have to, it usually happens the last month of winter/first month of spring. But that's because I spend the entire month reevaluating what I did for the last year, how I feel about it, what changes can be made and how to make next year better. This is also the point in time, where I take all of the emotions flooding my system and squeeze them out like a tube of toothpaste till I can feel emotionally clean and empty again. This need often starts as feeling absolutely worthless and desperately feeling a need to change myself.
During this time, STAY AWAY FROM ME. I'm working on something. If I feel I need help, I will seek people out. Most of my friends understand me well enough to be alright with this. those who don't end up not being friends for very long. I didn't do it this last year quite as much as I was expecting, but that's because A) I don't like doing it, it's more of a compulsion, and B) I was in a relationship that was actually pretty fun at the time.
This year instead, I pushed it back into spring (now), which is why I'm on the forum again, and participating so much. Starting to remember who I am, and accepting that I'm a bit more logic oriented, and nit-picky than others, because most of my friends are XNFX, and the feeling qualities often make me feel like I'm alienating them when I really just want to clarify. But I just feel better, I'm still indulging my compulsion but I have a desire to go outside, get exercise, and meet people. I'm moving soon, and I'm just trying to change things for the better. Right now, rather than hate it when people contact me I'm actually excited, I'm ready to make plans if they fit into my schedule.
Basically, I used to feel that way, I don't anymore, hopefully I wont ever, I don't actually like doing all that.
Also, was there a request for music? I noticed a lot of people posting it, but I didn't actually see a request so I'm not going to post any unless that was a requirement.
During this time, STAY AWAY FROM ME. I'm working on something. If I feel I need help, I will seek people out. Most of my friends understand me well enough to be alright with this. those who don't end up not being friends for very long. I didn't do it this last year quite as much as I was expecting, but that's because A) I don't like doing it, it's more of a compulsion, and B) I was in a relationship that was actually pretty fun at the time.
This year instead, I pushed it back into spring (now), which is why I'm on the forum again, and participating so much. Starting to remember who I am, and accepting that I'm a bit more logic oriented, and nit-picky than others, because most of my friends are XNFX, and the feeling qualities often make me feel like I'm alienating them when I really just want to clarify. But I just feel better, I'm still indulging my compulsion but I have a desire to go outside, get exercise, and meet people. I'm moving soon, and I'm just trying to change things for the better. Right now, rather than hate it when people contact me I'm actually excited, I'm ready to make plans if they fit into my schedule.
Basically, I used to feel that way, I don't anymore, hopefully I wont ever, I don't actually like doing all that.
Also, was there a request for music? I noticed a lot of people posting it, but I didn't actually see a request so I'm not going to post any unless that was a requirement.
MissQuote
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If you would like to post music feel free to do so.
I have no commitment to this topic staying on any sort of track, or even to people posting responses that have anything to do with what I posted.
I had some hours alone in the house today, after not having any time completely to myself at home in a couple of weeks, so that was really good. It helped.
Then I went to the library and got lost for a while. That was nice too.
I have no commitment to this topic staying on any sort of track, or even to people posting responses that have anything to do with what I posted.
I had some hours alone in the house today, after not having any time completely to myself at home in a couple of weeks, so that was really good. It helped.
Then I went to the library and got lost for a while. That was nice too.
Crazythinker1
Quiet, I'am thinking
Yeah, that really does annoy the crap outta me. And I have this tendency to draw in on myself and shut out the rest of the world. When I get that way, I get a constant stream of "Are you ok? Do you need to talk?" And then of course there are those who automatically assume that i'm super depressed and need to be on some sort of medication.
Anything that evokes a strong negative emotional response needs
hit-and-run analysis, for me at least. It's best to slowly chip at it over time from different angles. It has to be in bursts or it feels like you can get sucked in. When people ask what's wrong or try to help it's like pulling that issue out into the spotlight...and then rubbing your face in it, making you hypersensitive to the fact that you haven't reached a solution yet.
Or something.
hit-and-run analysis, for me at least. It's best to slowly chip at it over time from different angles. It has to be in bursts or it feels like you can get sucked in. When people ask what's wrong or try to help it's like pulling that issue out into the spotlight...and then rubbing your face in it, making you hypersensitive to the fact that you haven't reached a solution yet.
Or something.
MissQuote
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Oh my god.
I'm just going to post here instead of making yet another thread about my stupid neurosis.
*Skip all the next crap
Just going out of my fucking mind.
I haven't had any space to myself in weeks. The few times I did have a chance for a couple of hours alone in the house it is like every extended family member I have could just feelit and blew up my phone the moment i was alone. I know that is ridiculous, but really. Come on! Even when I ignore the phone it doesn't stop it from ringing over and over again and again and again and in the end if I finally answer it is for nothing but to chat!
I guess I am a little delirious actually, I woke up at three am this morning, after about four fretful hours sleep, it is nine thirty pm now so that is what... 18 hours up, I guess that isn't so much except that it is more like 36 hours up with four hours of laying in bed tossing back and forth before giving up.
The past couple of hours I have just been so irritable and the kids are just completely ignoring everything I ask them to do and then having constant requests. And I mean, that is just kids, and normally wouldn't bother me but their dad is perfectly available and just kept deferring them to me instead of seeing that I was just trying to get a moment to myself. Can't I just go have a smoke on the back porch without being needed? Just three minutes? I can't seem to at all.
Earlier I tried to lay down and just go to bed and let him take care of the evening, and he just has to wake me up evey time I am drifting off to sleep almost and he says "Just stick it out for another hour till we can send them to bed." that isn't the point! I don't even need to sleep so bad as I just need to be alone for just a few minutes.
I tried to let them all do their thing and just sit on the couch and listen to music but I discovered that one of my two new kittens apparently chewed apart the wire on my good headphones. and then I discover that something got all screwy and somehow Bing (WTF) is now set as my search engine and I am seriously too out of it to even figure out that simple problem.
Then I finally just get super cranky out of character and demanding that I be obeyed and that they get ready for bed, I just really don't like having to be like that it is just so exhausting when i am already worn out. And the TV is just blaring and nobody listens and it is saturday night and we usually let them stay up late anyway so they just don't seem to get why I am being like this but they all head to their rooms at least and he starts following me around wanting to know why I am upset, why am I irritated with him? Why won't I say? I need to just talk to him. what is wrong? what is wrong?
Ans so I tell him, I just need some space to be alone. I haven't had any time to myself in so long. Why do I have to say this? I don't want to sound mean. I really don't. And you'd think he would get it being all introverted himself, I guess not though. I just feel bad because he makes me say that I don't want to be around him. It isn't him, personally. It is just everyone.
So he told me to go have some solitude. But as I was going to the room he asks, "Are you sure it isn't that you are disappointed in not getting anything done today? I mean I got up three hours after you and look at all I accomplished. I made a wooden water wheel for the yard and everything." If it wasn't for the twinkle in his eye I would have thrown something at him. I did yell "NO!" as I was leaving the room.
So now i am sitting here with two beers, with my crappy dollar store headphones on, and I would really like to know that I could have some hours in some foreseeable future during the day when I could just screw around ad mess with stuff and maybe just lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling, instead of these delirious moments I have right now that I will spend on the internet, venting and other nonsense, because I am too tired for anything else and even trying to finish my book would just knock me out and then it will be tomorrow.
*I'm so overstimulated and need space really bad.
I'm just going to post here instead of making yet another thread about my stupid neurosis.
*Skip all the next crap
Just going out of my fucking mind.
I haven't had any space to myself in weeks. The few times I did have a chance for a couple of hours alone in the house it is like every extended family member I have could just feelit and blew up my phone the moment i was alone. I know that is ridiculous, but really. Come on! Even when I ignore the phone it doesn't stop it from ringing over and over again and again and again and in the end if I finally answer it is for nothing but to chat!
I guess I am a little delirious actually, I woke up at three am this morning, after about four fretful hours sleep, it is nine thirty pm now so that is what... 18 hours up, I guess that isn't so much except that it is more like 36 hours up with four hours of laying in bed tossing back and forth before giving up.
The past couple of hours I have just been so irritable and the kids are just completely ignoring everything I ask them to do and then having constant requests. And I mean, that is just kids, and normally wouldn't bother me but their dad is perfectly available and just kept deferring them to me instead of seeing that I was just trying to get a moment to myself. Can't I just go have a smoke on the back porch without being needed? Just three minutes? I can't seem to at all.
Earlier I tried to lay down and just go to bed and let him take care of the evening, and he just has to wake me up evey time I am drifting off to sleep almost and he says "Just stick it out for another hour till we can send them to bed." that isn't the point! I don't even need to sleep so bad as I just need to be alone for just a few minutes.
I tried to let them all do their thing and just sit on the couch and listen to music but I discovered that one of my two new kittens apparently chewed apart the wire on my good headphones. and then I discover that something got all screwy and somehow Bing (WTF) is now set as my search engine and I am seriously too out of it to even figure out that simple problem.
Then I finally just get super cranky out of character and demanding that I be obeyed and that they get ready for bed, I just really don't like having to be like that it is just so exhausting when i am already worn out. And the TV is just blaring and nobody listens and it is saturday night and we usually let them stay up late anyway so they just don't seem to get why I am being like this but they all head to their rooms at least and he starts following me around wanting to know why I am upset, why am I irritated with him? Why won't I say? I need to just talk to him. what is wrong? what is wrong?
Ans so I tell him, I just need some space to be alone. I haven't had any time to myself in so long. Why do I have to say this? I don't want to sound mean. I really don't. And you'd think he would get it being all introverted himself, I guess not though. I just feel bad because he makes me say that I don't want to be around him. It isn't him, personally. It is just everyone.
So he told me to go have some solitude. But as I was going to the room he asks, "Are you sure it isn't that you are disappointed in not getting anything done today? I mean I got up three hours after you and look at all I accomplished. I made a wooden water wheel for the yard and everything." If it wasn't for the twinkle in his eye I would have thrown something at him. I did yell "NO!" as I was leaving the room.
So now i am sitting here with two beers, with my crappy dollar store headphones on, and I would really like to know that I could have some hours in some foreseeable future during the day when I could just screw around ad mess with stuff and maybe just lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling, instead of these delirious moments I have right now that I will spend on the internet, venting and other nonsense, because I am too tired for anything else and even trying to finish my book would just knock me out and then it will be tomorrow.
*I'm so overstimulated and need space really bad.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
There isn't any way you could get maybe 1-2 uninterrupted hours a day to yourself?
MissQuote
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Only if I leave and go somewhere else. Which is better than nothing, but then I am somewhere else and not in my own space with my own books and art stuff and all.
I am just going to have to accept that for now I suppose and just make a point of going to the park or the library or something a few times a week, because I just can't take this anymore the way it is right now.
intpz
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That is absolutely annoying! However I'm good at not showing any emotion, so I don't often have that problem.
However there are SJs all around me who think that I'm mentally ill, due to my open-mindedness and disrespect for any rules or regulations and authority. I'm kinda afraid that they might do something related to mental institutions.
I don't and would never enjoy emotional conversations, where either I have to, or others do, express emotions. If I'm feeling bad, I'm gonna get cheered up by the surroundings, not by the people who ask "are you allright?" And for the record, people asking "how are you," mostly aren't being honest, which pisses me off too.
However there are SJs all around me who think that I'm mentally ill, due to my open-mindedness and disrespect for any rules or regulations and authority. I'm kinda afraid that they might do something related to mental institutions.
I don't and would never enjoy emotional conversations, where either I have to, or others do, express emotions. If I'm feeling bad, I'm gonna get cheered up by the surroundings, not by the people who ask "are you allright?" And for the record, people asking "how are you," mostly aren't being honest, which pisses me off too.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
Yes it really is better than nothing. It is your life and all, and that you know your situation best, but I really think this should be pursued.
MissQuote
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My husband is out of work right now, is the thing, and he is trying to get something going right now with selling the woodwork he makes, until he finds another job, so he is home most of the time working on that stuff the past couple of weeks, instead of going out and finding things to do when he gets bored.
School will be out in two weeks and all the kids will be here all day everyday. There is just really nothing I can do take moments when I can. Once school is out the weather will be really nice by then so the kids won't be cooped up in the house constantly at least. I should just start getting up early mornings before everyone else or something.
I just need to readjust my expectations of when I will get time to myself and how much that will be. It will be less stressful if I just accept that I won't have as much space as I used to have, instead of being depressed and mad that I don't have it anymore. I do like these people after all. They are my favorite people, better than other to be around.
School will be out in two weeks and all the kids will be here all day everyday. There is just really nothing I can do take moments when I can. Once school is out the weather will be really nice by then so the kids won't be cooped up in the house constantly at least. I should just start getting up early mornings before everyone else or something.
I just need to readjust my expectations of when I will get time to myself and how much that will be. It will be less stressful if I just accept that I won't have as much space as I used to have, instead of being depressed and mad that I don't have it anymore. I do like these people after all. They are my favorite people, better than other to be around.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
It is respectable to assume responsibility without fuss, but it is not unreasonable to have allocated time(and space) to yourself.
One's psychological and emotional health affect one's ability to deal with others and the environment, and if you are being chronically stressed out that will affect you as a person, mother, wife, and head of the household. It is only a good thing to take a break every so often.
grey matters
The Old Grey Silly One
Response to the OP: Slip a little despondex into their food or drink. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd4tugPM83c