Unmotivated For Adult Responsibilites

[Nerd.]

Okay, so I try to be responsible. I have a full time job. I am a good employee. I'm a full time student. I have all As. I have an apartment. I keep it sanitary at least. But I am really, just a huge slacker. I never remember to buy groceries. I'm lucky they feed me at work, or I'd starve. I can't seem to get more than one or two errands done in a week. Paperwork makes me want to run and hide. I am often late with my bills. I have the money, but actually paying them on time seems to be beyond my abilities. It's like I am unfit for adult life.

Like today, right now, I should be going to open a bank account. I have lived here since May, and I haven't bothered. I'm only going to do it now, because the place that cashes my paycheck's machine can't read my latest check because the ink is too light. I get paid again in 3 days, but I will need to cash it somehow. I don't want to go. I need to go to the DMV to get my name changed. But I went to the Social Security Office on Monday, and I'm not sure I can handle two government office visits in one week. I always have an excuse, and these things won't do themselves. And yet, here I sit.

I found this today.

Spoiler

So I can't be the only one.

Anyone else?

 

[pjoa09]

well depends on the perception, if it was part of ur work, u wouldn't be so bad at it.

but how the hell do you do full time student and full time job and what job?

i have difficulty doing anything but the job.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Okay, so I try to be responsible. I have a full time job. I am a good employee. I'm a full time student. I have all As. I have an apartment.

I need to go to the DMV to get my name changed. I always have an excuse, and these things won't do themselves. And yet, here I sit.



Anyone else?

Wow, +1 INTPoints for holding down a fulltime job + college and being able to afford an apartment.

I also need to head back to the DMV for an ID update. Get this: It's right across the street from my house and I was supposed to go 2 months ago.

There are just not enough hours in the day and just thinking about responsibilities can be exhausting.

 

[Philosophyking87]

At least you have a job, haven't been fired, and have all A's in college.
That's more than a lot of other INTP's can say, I'd imagine.
Imo, your troubles are bit minor, in comparison.

 

[Causeless]

Anyone else? Try nail on the head.

Motivated people make me feel like a SLOTH. I hold down a job and an apartment, (Actually, I'm the only one out of two paying for bills and food and half the rent, so I must be doing at least SOMETHING right.) but otherwise time just seems to escape me. I could form all of my pending responsibilities into a flowing paragraph, but that sounds like work, so let's rattle off a list...

-ALL of my bills get paid at the point where I'm afraid they're going to shut off the service. Oddly enough only results in about a $30 late fee on my electricity, even if I'm paying 2 mo. worth in one go. My gas has already been disconnected because I don't use it. Also not like I'm short on cash, I keep the right amount in my account specifically for covering those expenses. It's just that goddamned phone call!

-My car... ohhhhhhh my car. My car is essentially one big metal hunk of procrastination. When I bought the thing at the used car place it was missing a radio and its backup tire, both of which the dealership agreed to provide with no extra charge if I came in the next week. That was 6 months ago? Yeahp! I'd rather ride in silence than talk to those damned dealership people again, even though they're literally right down the road. Not so bad when I remember my iPod. My car would have also been shut off multiple times due to me forgetting to put the passcode in the loan office's device, (Mostly because you have to put in the code within 4 hours of them telling you over the phone, like that's gonna get done.) but I routed the ignition wire around the thing so it wouldn't work. Looking THAT up on the internet didn't take any activity-energy at all for some reason. XD

-I have two days off in which to do things, yet laundry always seems to get done 5 minutes before work the day AFTER my last day off. "Damn, I need to go do laundry at my parent's today so I can get more than just my work stuff done." (10 games of Starcraft later) "Fuck, it's midnight, they're all asleep now..."

-Oh wait, more car. It has some sort of engine problem that causes coolant to leak slowly into the combustion chambers. It runs fine but for the flaw of shuddering in a rather unsettling manner while idling, which then makes it very hard to accelerate for the rest of the trip for some reason. Very drivable, so long as you don't hit too many red lights on your trip, but also very fixable if I were to ever pull together the effort to take it to the "Guy I know". Naw, I'd rather refill my coolant every couple of trips and adopt a new method of driving than actually get something done!

Thankfully I'm somehow able to manage getting cat food by the time the bag runs out, but I'd be screwed there too if the Harris Teeter next door wasn't open 24 hours.

 

[Cavallier]

Who is really? Never mind. Don't answer that.

What I mean to say is that it's a character defining trait of the average INTP to have no desire to do menial shit. I only pay my bills on time because I get these horrible little notes in the mail telling me when they are due. I wish they would show up on bright orange paper with caution tape all over them because I still forget about them since they are boring and white. Direct deposit is the way to go with bills though I am loathe to hand over any more control of my life. Meh. The money comes and goes. The bills come and go. Why should I even bother to keep track so long as I eat regularly and the money is there when I want to buy something central to my interests? Oh that's right, there's some greedy small minded little bastard always waiting the wings to steal it all away from me.

 

[Agent Intellect]

My car had the "service engine soon" light on for almost a year before it got so bad I had to take it in. Apparently all it needed was a 50 dollar tune up.

There have been times when I've gone two weeks wearing the same pair of pants everyday. I'm too lazy to do laundry. There is a sizable pile of clothes on my floor.

I didn't pay my doctors bills until I had about three of them piled up. I didn't even have a doctor since my pediatrician until about three months ago.

I haven't been to the dentist since I was 18 years old (lucky I'm anal about brushing, flossing, and using mouth wash 2+ times a day).

My drivers license expired in March, but I only just renewed it about three months ago (when I got denied alcohol because of it, even though I had been buying copious amounts of alcohol on the expired license prior to that).

I haven't bought new clothes for myself since I was a sophomore high school. Only time I get any is for my birthday. I've never owned a suit or a tie in my life.



I could go on, but the point is, I'm the archetype of someone not cut out for adult life. I'm either going to have to marry someone responsible, get rich enough to pay people to take care of me, or get used to the homeless lifestyle.




Notice I didn't put 'getting my act together' in there.

 

[Philosophyking87]

Yeah, I always pay my rent super late, among many other things.
It seems staple for us INTP's to have trouble keeping up with adult life appropriately.

 

[Ska]

I still haven't fully unpacked since I moved into this apartment almost a month ago. Doing stuff sucks.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

I am apparently the most worthless person here. At least you guys have lives.

-No car, or license for that matter. The day i was old enough to get my learners permit, i blew it off because i hadnt slept that night. This was about 5 years ago?

-No job, i dropped out and got my GED, only had a few jobs since then, the only notable one of which i was fired from about 2 years ago.

-I dont have my own home obviously, i live with my mother.

And if that isnt bad enough, i still cant even seem to perform the simplest things around the house for my mom without being asked, i dont pay attenton to how fast the trash fills, i dont bother with dishes, i dont care how tall the grass gets or if there are leaves in the yard.

Not really too hard to fix, all i have to do is actually try, but i have let all of this go on for so long, that i am kind of buried under it all. After you go for so long without a job, it only makes it look worse when i go to apply somewhere... and god forbid people actually accept walk in applicants.. how am i going to charm someone into giving me a job if only online applications are accepted everywhere around here.

*Runs his fingers across the loose fibers of his noose*

 

[Mello]

I'm comfortable with the thought that I'm able to do simple things like laundry, homework, dishes, etc. That I don't feel compelled enough to do them.

 

[Causeless]

I am apparently the most worthless person here. At least you guys have lives.

-No car, or license for that matter. The day i was old enough to get my learners permit, i blew it off because i hadnt slept that night. This was about 5 years ago?

That easily could have been me. I blame a nagging mother for the alternate outcome. Also, aren't you the one with the girlfriend, ey?

 

[Thaklaar]

God, I'm glad I married young to an aggressively responsible woman. I'd be living in a cardboard box if all that adult responsibility rested solely on my shoulders.

 

[Philosophyking87]

I am apparently the most worthless person here. At least you guys have lives.

-No car, or license for that matter. The day i was old enough to get my learners permit, i blew it off because i hadnt slept that night. This was about 5 years ago?

-No job, i dropped out and got my GED, only had a few jobs since then, the only notable one of which i was fired from about 2 years ago.

-I dont have my own home obviously, i live with my mother.

And if that isnt bad enough, i still cant even seem to perform the simplest things around the house for my mom without being asked, i dont pay attenton to how fast the trash fills, i dont bother with dishes, i dont care how tall the grass gets or if there are leaves in the yard.

Not really too hard to fix, all i have to do is actually try, but i have let all of this go on for so long, that i am kind of buried under it all. After you go for so long without a job, it only makes it look worse when i go to apply somewhere... and god forbid people actually accept walk in applicants.. how am i going to charm someone into giving me a job if only online applications are accepted everywhere around here.

*Runs his fingers across the loose fibers of his noose*

I challenge you.
I was forced to get a license (but I didn't want one), and I still haven't really driven since I got it.
I've NEVER had a job, and have problems getting one any time soon.
I'm highly procrastinate and hardly clean or do anything on a daily basis.
I am not financial troubled though, for personal reasons.
And I suffer from some level of social anxiety, among other problems.

LOL. 'Useless' is my middle name.

 

[Cavallier]

*slouches on a couch with popcorn and watches the "I suck more" game show on the INTPf channel*

I'm waiting for Lyra to show up and bitch slap us all.

I suspect most people feel like they fail at being an adult.

 

[ememisya]

I've been taking care of my family for the last five years since I graduated high school but prior to that I've been without responsibilities (Other than highschool etc. (Which I miss a lot in comparison)) all my life.

Currently I work fulltime for the state, I got my own small IT company, I'm the owner of a Salon and I'm a college student. The only time I have for myself is my Friday nights and Saturdays before noon, and I will chase anyone with a damn AK47 if they try to obligate me for those hours.

To come to the point...

The reason why I took all the responsibilities I did was because if I didn't, nobody would. My dad died of a heart attack in 2000, and my family went downhill for 5 years until if I didn't help we'd be on the streets.

So necessity is the key element here, and I have to say, I'm proud of the pain. To me, nothing is more important than the happiness of my family. My mother cleaned my crap since I was born and it's the least I can do right?

It does go without saying however that it's been killing me ever since.

All of the responsibilities, especially not having the time to do what I want to do or think about what I want to think about has been making me feel like a slave to a system I so deeply abhor. I came to realize though, if you want change in life, you need to be able to endure pain and if you have no motivation or the will to live, do it for those you love.

So in conclusion I'd say:

It's not about avoiding pain, it's about who or what you are willing to suffer for.

Even roses have thorns.

 

[kantor1003]

I study at a university, on paper. I have reduced the amount of classes I'm supposed to take to the bare minimum, leaving me with only 2 days a week where I'm supposed to show up. Even that I have problems with.. I justified it for myself by saying "with so few school hours, I'll have all the time in the world to read and study".. Obviously I rarely open school books or do anything at all. I had a dentist appointment the other day. I didn't bother to show up even though it costs me wether I'm there or not.
I always do the bare minimum, and sometimes not even that.. I wonder how I'll manage an adult life. Shit, I'm even supposed to have one now at age of 21. I don't have shit. I can play the guitar reasonably well, or really well, (haven't practiced enough lately though, obviously) and thats about it.
Hell, I even procrastinate replying to posts in this forum.

 

[snafupants]

ememisya, he is the one

 

[Snarlbuckle]

Wow, I'm glad to see that I'm not alone.

I just get around it by dating someone who takes care of all that crap for me.

What would you think of a partner who is essentially a second mother, but not so controlling and likes to be repaid in sexual favors?

Boring? Gross? or a sweet deal?

 

[prd]

I just get around it by dating someone who takes care of all that crap for me.
What would you think of a partner who is essentially a second mother, but not so controlling and likes to be repaid in sexual favors?

SJs are great for this and there's plenty of them available.

Personally I don't care, I do what really needs to be done and the rest can wait.
My gf is ESFJ and I still TRY to do everything myself, but I clearly gave up some of the most mundane and irrelevant household chores.
A field where I need to make progress in is health issues. It's so easy but not so good to procastinate on these.

 

[Oblivious]

Eh you guys are fine. *Goes off to sleep*

YouTube - Hikikomori in Japan [Part 1]

 

[vavel7]

I still haven't fully unpacked since I moved into this apartment almost a month ago. Doing stuff sucks.

Whenever I return to UK (as I'm a student) it takes me more than a month to unpack my suitcases and I usually never unpack completely!! I always have stuff stuffed in suitcases somewhere in my room till the next time I travel and return....hahaha!!!!

The only way for me to deal with common adult responsibilities is just spend 1-3 days in a month to do them BUT ONLY THEN!! Somehow it works magnificently but the funny thing is that to other people I look like the Durasel rabbit in those days but basically I'm completely mentally shut down!!
And if something cannot be squizzed as hell within these days I will never and I mean never really do it no matter what... it just not gonna happen. Because the more "free time" I'm given the less things I'm doing (let alone mundane tasks!!). And this is the bigger truth in my life! I'm not telling that "secret" to my supervisors though...

Give me "free time" either 5 minutes or 50 days and I'll do nothing, absolutely nothing no matter what! Give me "no time" and I'm a Duracell rabit)

 

[vavel7]

Wow, I'm glad to see that I'm not alone.

I just get around it by dating someone who takes care of all that crap for me.

What would you think of a partner who is essentially a second mother, but not so controlling and likes to be repaid in sexual favors?

Boring? Gross? or a sweet deal?

It sounds like a relationship with future for an INTP! And it may be easier for a male INTP because of gender roles. For example, a girl that is perceived by others and herself as "girl-friend material" could potentially show such qualities because of gender roles (many of my friends complaining about having to be "mothers" to their boy-friends but they do find pleasure in taking care of them in a more maternic way). Honestly, there are not that many guys-at least straight- outthere that would be that glad to be "mothers" to their girlfriends. I wish there were but there aren't... "providers", "fathers" etc yes but not a figure of "a non-controlling mother" with everything this may include.

I hate gender roles...

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Whoever invents a space-time altering machine will be my hero.

 

[Joohanh]

What the fuck guys, every time I ponder something that's wrong with my life, I find a thread for it on this forum.

Yeah, I usually throw my bills somewhere where I can't see them and assume that my parents got it covered. Paying money is horrible. So is obligatory things like going to dentist, police office etc. I usually aim to forget these.

 

[Mondorius]

Responsibilities? Dang, I'm 23, I moved out of my parents place at 17 and... yeah... what's that responsibility thing?

Honestly, mosts things that fall under responsibilities I do in the least amount possible as late as I can and I do it because it'd worse and more annoying if I didn't.

 

[Beat Mango]

I must be some sort of super INTP then - I do all these things with ease.

 

[dark]

It is kind of odd, I used to be like this, but after my father wrecked my car, I had to rebuild it, like from the bottom up, couldn't afford to just buy another one since I didn't have a job at the time, don't do well while going to school and keeping a job, so I stubbled upon a body of a car, I had the engine and other parts, bought me a book, I like that book, and I put all the parts into the body, making me one really nice car, has a shitty paint job but it runs really well now. Anyhow, I believe that actually developed something in my brain, I remembered exactly when and where all my classes where this semester, I still don't pay attention in class, yet I've got all A's on my tests. I don't feel lazy, I do things when they need to be done, I just have a problem with loosing time, where does it all go I wonder? I've been needing to wash my clothes for about a week now, I'm running low on clothes, actually went and bought some more shirts just so I wouldn't have to mess with washing my shirts, sigh... But there are times, as long as I am interested in the activity, not many people can keep up with me, even physical things, some how ignore all bodily needs, because my mind is near 100% in something. Like one time I decided I would going into the woods and make a shelter for survival like Bear Grills on the Discovery Channel, while I was concentrated on this, I built a platform to sleep on, a 100% waterproof ceiling and walls, made it quite nice, then I lost interest and decided to go home and finish reading a book, since it was getting dark and the fire I made didn't allow me to read very well.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

That sounds a lot like a developed Se, being able to manipulate the physical world.

 

[Anthile]

I must be some sort of super INTP then - I do all these things with ease.

Maybe you have been bitten by a radioactive ISTJ as a child.

 

[Beat Mango]

Maybe you have been bitten by a radioactive ISTJ as a child.

Nah I think I'm just obsessive

 

[dark]

So how would an INTP go about developing the other aspects that we can't do very well normally? Makes me think I am about to take on an RPG... wow just had another INTP moment lost topic and forgot I was typing and decided to check my school email, wow this is interesting, need to understand all this.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

^ It's a conscious effort you have to make every day. The only areas that can really mature are the ones in our top 4. We will always lack dominant control of Fi and Se.

 

[Nerd.]

I still haven't made it to the bank or the DMV. Well, actually, I tried to go to the bank. I went in. But then I had forgotten all my paperwork. Including the voucher thing for my new Social Security card that's in the mail. Which meant that I really didn't have a name. And you can't open a bank account without a name. Apparently. I need to get it sorted by Tuesday though, at the DMV. Because I am flying out of town the following Wednesday. You can't fly without some form of photo-ID matching the name on your ticket. I need a passport too at some point. Mine expired because I got my last one in another country, and as I learned the FIRST time I lost my passport while abroad, foreign ones expire after a year.

*sigh*

Why are there so many rules?

 

[Causeless]

Just got something in the mail that says I failed to show up for court.

Shoooot... court for that speeding ticket was the 12 of June.

Can lazy/forgetfulness make you a fugitive?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

^ Plead insanity