Turning 30

[Beat Mango]

Ok so I'm not 30, but turning it this year.

I'm find it a strange feeling to be entering my 30's. If I could sum it up, I'd call it pressure. Pressure to have a career. Pressure to get married. I mean, isn't it the case that we're generally defined, socially, by what we do in our 30's? Ok, you can fuck around in your 20's, as long as you make up for it later so you can write it off as youthful naivete. You can mess up your 40's and call it a mid-life crisis. But what social context is there for fucking up your 30's? This is why I feel pressure.

I remember entering my 20's and despite all the problems I had back then, I always felt freedom looking at the decade ahead. I miss that.

Can anyone relate? If you're past your 30's, did you mess up that decade of your life? Did you thrive? Or something in between?

I am all ears.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Ok so I'm not 30, but turning it this year.

I'm find it a strange feeling to be entering my 30's. If I could sum it up, I'd call it pressure. Pressure to have a career. Pressure to get married. I mean, isn't it the case that we're generally defined, socially, by what we do in our 30's? Ok, you can fuck around in your 20's, as long as you make up for it later so you can write it off as youthful naivete. You can mess up your 40's and call it a mid-life crisis. But what social context is there for fucking up your 30's? This is why I feel pressure.

I remember entering my 20's and despite all the problems I had back then, I always felt freedom looking at the decade ahead. I miss that.

Can anyone relate? If you're past your 30's, did you mess up that decade of your life? Did you thrive? Or something in between?

I am all ears.

Think of it this way. If you don't get married and have kids there is no expectation on you to perform. If you decide to never try and be in a relationship with a woman, you don't even need to put on a facade of performance.

 

[WALKYRIA]

I would say it's too late; i read somewhere that what made people successful or not was to work in your twenties. so the twenties are actually the critical stage for success and accomplishment.

 

[Hawkeye]

How about this?

 

[JimJambones]

I'm turning 32 this year and I do have to say that it's hard to believe. I'm not entirely content with my career path, but it pays the bills and I have plenty of time to pursue hobbies or subjects that interest me in my spare time. I wish I would've done much better in college, a whole host of circumstances made college very difficult for me. Had I done better I may have pursued a life in academia; of the many of my friends that did move into academia, I know at least one who is stressed because she has no time for her numerous other interests like I do. This makes me think I'm right where I should be. I now spend my time researching my interests and educating my children about life and the universe. Hopefully, they will have better opportunities than I did. Oh, well, I do love my quaint little life. I think that's the biggest thing with my 30s: acceptance for the way my life has turned out. That doesn't mean I'm fixed where I am the rest of my life, but I'm quite content with simple, peaceful living.

 

[Solitaire U.]

IMAO your ideas are all based on irrational age stereotypes. In other words, it's all in your head.

Don't succumb to that shit. Just live your life however it pleases you. It doesn't make sense to dictate your destiny based on something as arbitrary and unchangeable as biological age.

 

[just george]

The only reason anyone has to worry about age is the effect it has on 1) your ability to buy booze, 2) your ability to get free pension money, and 3) your ability to pick up chicks

edit: 4) the severity of punishments when you beak the law - ages below 17 and over 70 are ideal for crime

Everything else is immaterial, since after all, lifespan is variable.

My theory is never to stress about not achieving a goal, since stress makes you die earlier. Therefore, by not stressing, you live longer, and buy more time to achieve that goal anyway, plus get to enjoy extra time wandering around the planet having fun

 

[Double_V]

Blew past 30 and 40 without a second thought. I came out of the gate at 20 fast and strong so there was little dilly dallying ENTP's so often languish in after the fact.

Coming up on 50 in a few months. This number has my attention. I see it as a rebirth to my '2nd life'. I am taking stock and looking at what past experience is useful towards moving forward and disgarding the rest. I realize I am in lock step with being an ENTP-starting (a life) at 50 is normal.

For this I have done one (weird) thing. I have self photographed to sort of take an inventory, or a survey of the lay of the land so to speak. After seeing those pic's I got out older ones and studied them. Turns out I didn't (apparently ever) know what I look like. Viewing oneself from an outside prespective is a very revealing thing.

I am rather pleasantly surprised at how I feel entering this phase of life... I can do anything.

As to the OP's question of messing up a decade... sort of. I had almost a decade go to hell over a family illness which seriously threw us under a bus. Not to worry, a decade lost is not all that long and the experience you gained, and what you learned, during it will can pay big dividends later.

Edit: Speaking to the post below mine. Yes, feeling some serious pressure to bring to market some of the inventions in my head. I see not doing so rather a failure to be fixed.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I can't really relate, but my brother just turned 30 a few days ago and has been depressed about not inventing anything akin to calculus yet.

Trying to cheer him.
Regret only immobilizes people.

 

[Cognisant]

Kick him in the ass.

To be clear, from what I've heard about him, I like your brother, it's just that some people are are encouraged by encouragement, others by adversity, methinks he's not the former.

@Beat Mango
Bend over

Seriously though, where is it you want to be?
Married with kids? Rich? Famous? On a tropical island?
I'm certain you're clever/tenacious enough to get wherever you want to be, assuming you have some idea where there is.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Eh, he gets plenty of adversity; doesn't need it from me.

If you decide to get married Mango, marry well.
Adversity of that sort isn't fun or constructive.

 

[Beat Mango]

Seriously though, where is it you want to be?
Married with kids? Rich? Famous? On a tropical island?
I'm certain you're clever/tenacious enough to get wherever you want to be, assuming you have some idea where there is.

I don't want anything, therein lies my problem. The gloss has mostly worn off from my ambitions or dreams from youth. What I really desire is to have my desire back.

There are things I kind of want and maybe I should focus more on those. Starting a business. Playing music. Writing.

Bend over

Oh dear

 

[Cavallier]

Run in circles? Scream and shout? How old am I again? I keep forgetting...

I turned 21, a landmark in my country, and kept forgetting it was my birthday. I suspect it'll be the same when I turn 30. At this point in history if you live in a developed country, meaning nutrition isn't a worry, 30 is still 20 years from your median age if you take care of yourself and barring accidents.

 

[Zero989]

Assume you'll die at 60? Problem solved.

 

[Crazythinker1]

Age is a number. I'm 32 and just getting married. I didn't even start thinking about a career until I was 29 and I'm still open to possibilities. Don't worry about what society says, do what you want.

 

[Minuend]

Life sucks and will continue to disappoint you gravely way into your 90s, if you should make it that far.

Every five years or so, I wonder if I should go on for another five.

It's one thing not having tried. It's another having tried repeatedly and failed every single time.

 

[snafupants]

Ok so I'm not 30, but turning it this year.

I'm find it a strange feeling to be entering my 30's. If I could sum it up, I'd call it pressure. Pressure to have a career. Pressure to get married. I mean, isn't it the case that we're generally defined, socially, by what we do in our 30's? Ok, you can fuck around in your 20's, as long as you make up for it later so you can write it off as youthful naivete. You can mess up your 40's and call it a mid-life crisis. But what social context is there for fucking up your 30's? This is why I feel pressure.

I remember entering my 20's and despite all the problems I had back then, I always felt freedom looking at the decade ahead. I miss that.

Can anyone relate? If you're past your 30's, did you mess up that decade of your life? Did you thrive? Or something in between?

I am all ears.

I didn't feel any particular pressure until you outlined matters like that.

You really do get to screw off in your twenties and golden years. I mean, at some point you're so senile that you're chewing the Scrabble pieces. With enough alcohol in your twenties, those are your forties.

At any rate, the mind is probably sharpest around 32. That's around when most great writers pen their eventual magnum opus.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

On a somewhat related note I am terrified of getting old.

Some people age very well, their mental acuity perfectly intact, but even more do not. The thought of being being physically dependent; the slow degradation of the mind... Observing my grandfather as he ages has been alarming. Stroll through an nursing home, and you'll see what I mean.

Then there's transhumanism... (which I'm frankly not very hopeful about)
I think I could make it to 90, but I'm not sure I'd want to be upgrade while in a half-state or 'refurbished.'

I want to be preserved by 50, either cryogenically or with whatever promising tech available.