Trust no one

[LPolaright]

Is this common for INTP's to not trust anyone in his surrounding, even his loved ones (or most definitely)?

I often find myself quite paranoid when it comes to people, I often think that a lot of them are simply incapable of executing what I ask them to, or even when it comes to keeping a secret. I usually will not tell anything to my parents and if I need to release a burden of information I would take a random person on the MSN, someone who never met me and release that stream of pressure or what ever it is.

It could be related to the Ti and most probably is - probably derives from not trusting systems before analyzing them to the full extent and compare them to other systems. But if it does relate to Ti - when it comes to ideas there is atleast 1 theory that a Ti will always be stubborn of - what about people? Isn't it a parallel? Wouldn't there be one person that I will always trust?

What is the extent of your mistrust?

 

[Dormouse]

Curses, I thought for a moment this was going to be an X-files thread.

That said, I'm quite a trusting person and generally have no problem delegating tasks and speaking honestly. Though I do find text is a far superior method of venting, I tend to conceal the truth somewhat more than I do normally.

 

[BitRogue]

Hmmm, coincidentally, I just brought this up in a conversation I had with a colleague of mine not even 3 hours ago. He's going through some difficulties and I was explaining to him about the fact that humans are weak and buckle easily to external pressure and temptations. And because of that, I don't trust anyone. I have even had my closest friends break my trust in small ways. However, it wasnt because this is what they intended, but because of character flaws or the way they react to things seem to go against my fairly rigid idea of how the world should be. (Probably a very Ti thing, is my guess)

But I need be clear on this, because I also have this (probably very misplaced) belief that everyones intentions are good until proven otherwise. So I can usually reason myself out of any conflict by this understanding, but it also means that there are now certain off-limit things I can no longer discuss with that person. It hurts a bit (Fe coming out a bit, I guess) its a realization that I just cant go around saying anything to people, even if I think I know them well.

 

[LPolaright]

Curses, I thought for a moment this was going to be an X-files thread.

Nobody would have taken an X-file thread seriously

Though I do find text is a far superior method of venting, I tend to conceal the truth somewhat more than I do normally.

Interesting.

Hmmm, coincidentally, I just brought this up in a conversation I had with a colleague of mine not even 3 hours ago. He's going through some difficulties and I was explaining to him about the fact that humans are weak and buckle easily to external pressure and temptations.

You seem like a great friend, trying to show him how bad the world around him (including him) while he suffers difficulties

I have even had my closest friends break my trust in small ways. However, it wasnt because this is what they intended, but because of character flaws or the way they react to things seem to go against my fairly rigid idea of how the world should be. (Probably a very Ti thing, is my guess)

Sounds like Christmas is early and there are many presents under the "manipulation" tree. With the knowledge of character flaws and you intentionally letting them break your trust what would you gain? - The LEGO you always wanted!!!

But I need be clear on this, because I also have this (probably very misplaced) belief that everyones intentions are good until proven otherwise. So I can usually reason myself out of any conflict by this understanding, but it also means that there are now certain off-limit things I can no longer discuss with that person. It hurts a bit (Fe coming out a bit, I guess) its a realization that I just cant go around saying anything to people, even if I think I know them well.

I seem to be the opposite, I have this belief that everyones intentions are bad until proven otherwise.

 

[Bird]

You can't trust anyone.
Not even yourself.



I do not think this is an INTP thing.
I think this is a human thing.

 

[Methuselah]

I trust 1-2 people near absolutely. Well, I trust them within their limits. But they're who I'd call if it was 2 am and I needed to hide a body. The trick is knowing what kinds of things you can trust different people with.

 

[Minuend]

I'm unable to bond with people and love them because I have trust issues. I don't think it as much of a rational thing as an emotional one. I have been betrayed by people growing up and now I am incapable of trusting others no matter how well they treat me. Actually, there is fear attached to that theme.

It's not something to be desired.

 

[EvilScientist Trainee]

I'm unable to bond with people and love them because I have trust issues. I don't think it as much of a rational thing as an emotional one. I have been betrayed by people growing up and now I am incapable of trusting others no matter how well they treat me. Actually, there is fear attached to that theme.

It's not something to be desired.

I also have the trust issues. That's why I also find hard to trust - and worse- and welcome new persons in my life. My fear is that they might uncover my flaws or put me in uncomfortable situations, things that happened throughout my whole life.

I just don't know when people will forget their loyalty to fulfill their own personal interests. And it sucks a lot.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

humans are weak and buckle easily to external pressure and temptations. And because of that, I don't trust anyone. I have even had my closest friends break my trust in small ways.

But I need be clear on this, because I also have this (probably very misplaced) belief that everyones intentions are good until proven otherwise. So I can usually reason myself out of any conflict by this understanding, but it also means that there are now certain off-limit things I can no longer discuss with that person. It hurts a bit (Fe coming out a bit, I guess) its a realization that I just cant go around saying anything to people, even if I think I know them well.

Agreed. I'm a perceiver first, I start judging people after I see what they're capable of.

I often find myself quite paranoid when it comes to people, I often think that a lot of them are simply incapable of executing what I ask them to, or even when it comes to keeping a secret. I usually will not tell anything to my parents and if I need to release a burden of information I would take a random person on the MSN, someone who never met me and release that stream of pressure or what ever it is.

Yes. It's funny that I trust strangers more than my own family.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I think trust in others should be granted but always limited. Trust with the simple things but not with the complicated. Not until it is very well earned.

 

[AlisaD]

I don't think I have problems with trust, at least not on a concious level. I invite strangers into my home. I talk to weirdos. Never know where I left my wallet or my passport - that kind of stuff. I also tend to answer questions in a brutally and often stupidly honest fashion. Never backfired, so far.

On the other hand, I generally do not feel the need to share a whole lot of very personal stuff with many people, or very often. Not sure if that's a trust issue in disguise, or do I just generally don't feel the need to tell people about things that are very personal

 

[Jesse]

I don't tell people much. I don't think it's because I don't trust anyone but it never comes up in conversations.

 

[Wizardry]

I trust people to act according to the snapshot I build of them. I learned a long time ago that it is unfair of me to judge people the way I judge myself. I can feel close to people but depending on some strange, mysterious system the intensity of the connection varies and along with it my emotions.

 

[nexion]

But I need be clear on this, because I also have this (probably very misplaced) belief that everyones intentions are good until proven otherwise. So I can usually reason myself out of any conflict by this understanding, but it also means that there are now certain off-limit things I can no longer discuss with that person. It hurts a bit (Fe coming out a bit, I guess) its a realization that I just cant go around saying anything to people, even if I think I know them well.

You can't trust anyone.
Not even yourself.

I like these a lot.

 

[ijustprotectedmyidentity]

Is this common for INTP's to not trust anyone in his surrounding, even his loved ones (or most definitely)?

I often find myself quite paranoid when it comes to people, I often think that a lot of them are simply incapable of executing what I ask them to, or even when it comes to keeping a secret. I usually will not tell anything to my parents and if I need to release a burden of information I would take a random person on the MSN, someone who never met me and release that stream of pressure or what ever it is.

It could be related to the Ti and most probably is - probably derives from not trusting systems before analyzing them to the full extent and compare them to other systems. But if it does relate to Ti - when it comes to ideas there is atleast 1 theory that a Ti will always be stubborn of - what about people? Isn't it a parallel? Wouldn't there be one person that I will always trust?

What is the extent of your mistrust?

i was just thinkign abou this today due to circumstances

i thought to myself, "dont trust no body but yourself"
then i realized what i meant was
speak what you believe is true and follow your heart 100 percent, dont be afraid, dont hold back on your latent potential.
then i thought about what if everybody trusted themselves?

bottom line: ppl who say trust no body but youself are shy guys that need a confidence boost in their abilities.

i started first saying dont turst yourself because i thought that i could do things better than other people. that i can do their job better than them and that i am more gifted and superior. and if i trusted or listened to anybody else, if i trusted what the teacher said, if i trusted what the orginazation or the institution told me, then i will fail. because my way is the best (yes im a lil narccist)

hence "trust nobody but yourself"

to the OP : i hope you are not paranoid and that you cannot trust the stranger on the street. i usually do trust everybody even strangers but when it comes to my own drum beat,i will follow it, i will trust no one but mysefl! fuck conformity!

 

[Solitaire U.]

I trust by default yet rely on no human...save a tiny handful that have proven to be reliable over long periods of trial and error. Trust means little to me...I've known too many people who have too many trust issues because they're too paranoid about having to hide too much of themselves that means too little to me to begin with.

It's easy to gain entry to systems with subversive intent simply by appearing trustworthy. Anyone can buy as much trust as they can afford. It's a cheap commodity that can be traded away and re-provisioned in an endless cycle of repetition. Cops are sadists, pediatricians are pedophiles, teachers are deceivers...I have no issue per-se with any of this underlying motive fuel I'm supposed to feel so much revulsion for. What I fucking hate is how it floats upon a benevolent cloud with a payload of malevolent acid rain.

In this world, compassion is a mirage in an endless wasteland. Those who bother to look will see it shimmer occasionally, but those who try to reach it will waste an existence in pursuit of vapor. If it would fucking rain just once, the cop would be a surgeon, the pediatrician would be the teacher, the teacher would be a politician, and the world would fall into balance.

Trust is overrated...pray for rain.

 

[nexion]

What really destroys me is that I know I am not deserving of the trust I expect others to have in me, even while I have trust in no one.

 

[EditorOne]

"What is the extent of your mistrust?"

Major trust issues. I never seem to get it right. There are enough knife hilts sticking out of my back to make a good climbing wall. In fact, for some people, that's exactly what it was.

 

[Solitaire U.]

"What is the extent of your mistrust?"

Major trust issues. I never seem to get it right. There are enough knife hilts sticking out of my back to make a good climbing wall. In fact, for some people, that's exactly what it was.

But they make such good handholds...

If you can't live in peace with the fact that people will use you to get ahead, stop making yourself so damned useful and withdraw from participation. If on the other hand you merely resent not receiving a percentage of the profits that would not have been reaped if you had refused to allow yourself to be fucked over, start refusing to deal with anyone who isn't willing to sign a written contract.

No offense, but this is what it would take to cure your trust issues.

 

[walfin]

"Loved ones" may be trusted in some situations if they are suitable. (Loved ones? Do we necessarily love them? Are we horrible just because we don't?)

I'd wager that the vast majority of them are not. Why should someone be trusted just because they were born of the same womb? Brother has turned against brother and sister has turned against sister since time immemorial.

 

[Jennywocky]

Is this common for INTP's to not trust anyone in his surrounding, even his loved ones (or most definitely)?

I will trust people in relationships (or I wouldn't even be wasting my time with them), but the more I understand them, the more I can trust. It's about my figuring out the boundaries of their trustworthiness -- what areas I can trust someone in, and what areas they might fail me.

This is all individualized, not a blanket trust/distrust.

I often find myself quite paranoid when it comes to people, I often think that a lot of them are simply incapable of executing what I ask them to, or even when it comes to keeping a secret.

Well, I do typically like to do things myself if the outcome is extremely important and I feel I need control over it. It's hard for me just to rely on others to do things for me.

I usually will not tell anything to my parents and if I need to release a burden of information I would take a random person on the MSN, someone who never met me and release that stream of pressure or what ever it is.

In those situations, anonymity removes the need for trust. There's no real ramifications attached to your openness with strangers. But it does get lonely after awhile... to not truly be known by someone who is consistently in your life.

It could be related to the Ti and most probably is - probably derives from not trusting systems before analyzing them to the full extent and compare them to other systems.

That's some of it.

But if it does relate to Ti - when it comes to ideas there is atleast 1 theory that a Ti will always be stubborn of - what about people? Isn't it a parallel? Wouldn't there be one person that I will always trust?

I don't know. We don't even really trust ourselves. We just trust our logical principles. But rationally, people are inconsistent. Even the most rational people will screw up.

Rationally, people fail. Hence, trust has to be based on other things besides just whether someone fails you or not.

What is the extent of your mistrust?

I actually do risk assessment on everyone and trust them to whatever degree I think I can trust them. I also am aware of the probable results if a person fails me when I trust them, so I (1) accept their fallibility, (2) only trust people to the degree I know I can deal with the outcome if they fail me, and (3) adjust their trust ratio depending on whether they prove or derail my trust in them.

I enjoy the closeness that can occur when I trust people and they don't let me down. And I can make allowance for failure if the motivation was to be trustworthy and they simply got blindsided/flubbed something accidentally. However, even too many accidents might mean that -- even if I don't hold hard feelings -- I won't be able to trust them.