The Will to Truth

[Duxwing]

Dear Forum,

I've been wondering. If life has no meaning, then why am I so sad about it? Why does it need to have meaning? Why do I need any justification at all? The only answers that my mind gives me are:

1. The other thinkers would laugh at me if they saw the absurdity of my condition
2. One absolutely must have a justification for one's actions, and there MUST be a meaning to life
3. It is your path, padawan, you must search and find the light not just for yourself, but for all mankind.
4. You can't let Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest down; they put everything that they had into the betterment of mankind, and you can't give up the journey to Truth now.
5. The alternative to logic is madness

As I wrote those reasons, my eyes misted up and I felt "the call," much like a soldier feels "the call of duty," I feel this idea of Truth "calling" to me, and it almost makes me want to give it a teary salute. Not of sadness, but out of a feeling of duty, that I have to do this, that to solve the great riddles of the cosmos is my purpose, my lot in life.

Entirely irrational? I don't know. I don't have enough insight into my own feelings; however, I do know that the MBTI site www.personalitypage.com holds that, for the INTP:

Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

If so, then my search for clarity and understanding in all things is simply a healthy variation on the theme of human personality. Nevertheless, nihilism's Void still hurts like crazy, so please help me figure out how to survive it!

-Duxwing

 

[snafupants]

Why must there be meaning to life?!

It seems as though this superfluous presupposition is leading to avoidable psychic distress.

At any rate, I'm more inclined to agree with Zapffe and Schopenhauer than Plato or objectivism.

 

[Duxwing]

Why must there be meaning to life?!

It seems as though this superfluous presupposition is leading to avoidable psychic distress.

At any rate, I'm more inclined to agree with Zapffe and Schopenhauer than Plato or objectivism.

Would you please elaborate?

-Duxwing

 

[snafupants]

Would you please elaborate?

-Duxwing

Sure. Humans operate under the computational theory of mind apparatus. Nothing more. The search for more in an impoverished world and in light of biological overdevelopment leads to pain. This presupposition that the world must have meaning enhances the anguish, because the world is devoid of meaning or morals. Most people feel uncomfortable with this freedom and chaos so they construct ethical systems to confine their consciousness, they transfer their power to perceived authorities, or they ignore the problem of existence by distraction and television shows or active delusion. Contentment is inherently ephemeral per evolutionary diktats, the nature of time, and the interminable hankering of the Will's demands.

 

[Duxwing]

Sure. Humans operate under the computational theory of mind apparatus. Nothing more. The search for more in an impoverished world and in light of biological overdevelopment leads to pain. This presupposition that the world must have meaning enhances the anguish, because the world is devoid of meaning or morals. Most people feel uncomfortable with this freedom and chaos so they construct ethical systems to confine their consciousness, they transmit their power to authorities, or they ignore the problem of existence by distraction and television shows or active delusion.

Interesting, existential depression now appears to be a psychological condition; ergo, how do I deal with it properly?

-Duxwing

 

[snafupants]

Interesting, existential depression now appears to be a psychological condition; ergo, how do I deal with it properly?

-Duxwing

By finding something that limits your consciousness and makes you content. The stimulus should ideally be relatively safe long-term, perhaps personally fulfilling, and non-destructive to others.

Worrying about the lack of meaning doesn't bring you closer to meaning. Taking the right steps to limit consciousness will lead to more contentment.

 

[Moocow]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT4EWCRfdUg

I recommend watching this to answer your question about meaning (or perhaps purpose).

To ask what meaning or purpose your existence inherently has just pleads from an anthropocentric view of the universe which projects our own tools for living onto the lifeless cosmos. The difficulty of grasping that there is no meaning is simply the difficulty of coming to terms with the fact that we aren't the gods we started off believing ourselves to be, but merely consequences of an order much more vast and unknowable than our daily toil.

 

[Proletar]

By finding something that limits your consciousness and makes you content. The stimulus should ideally be relatively safe long-term, perhaps personally fulfilling, and non-destructive to others.

Worrying about the lack of meaning doesn't bring you closer to meaning. Taking the right steps to limit consciousness will lead to more contentment.

Makes sense.

@Duxwing. Have you ever smoked pot?

 

[snafupants]

Makes sense.

@Duxwing. Have you ever smoked pot?

I aim to please. Anyway, drugs are fine as long as their side effects do not preclude long-term contentment. Some psychedelics, especially, are basically free from chemical toxicity. I suppose my drugs of choice are coffee, sex, and psilocybin. For me, marijuana blankets an otherwise sharp thinking modality. For some people, marijuana (downers too) also insidiously extinguishes their drive when habitually imbibed in. I can't have that. Chronic use of stimulants is also something that should be sidestepped because it promotes anhedonia and excitotoxicity. Also, I still haven't discerned how alcohol is as robustly touted in this depraved culture given its dangers but there you have it.

 

[nexion]

Dear Forum,

I've been wondering. If life has no meaning, then why am I so sad about it? Why does it need to have meaning? Why do I need any justification at all? The only answers that my mind gives me are:

1. The other thinkers would laugh at me if they saw the absurdity of my condition
2. One absolutely must have a justification for one's actions, and there MUST be a meaning to life
3. It is your path, padawan, you must search and find the light not just for yourself, but for all mankind.
4. You can't let Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest down; they put everything that they had into the betterment of mankind, and you can't give up the journey to Truth now.
5. The alternative to logic is madness

As I wrote those reasons, my eyes misted up and I felt "the call," much like a soldier feels "the call of duty," I feel this idea of Truth "calling" to me, and it almost makes me want to give it a teary salute. Not of sadness, but out of a feeling of duty, that I have to do this, that to solve the great riddles of the cosmos is my purpose, my lot in life.

Entirely irrational? I don't know. I don't have enough insight into my own feelings; however, I do know that the MBTI site www.personalitypage.com holds that, for the INTP:



If so, then my search for clarity and understanding in all things is simply a healthy variation on the theme of human personality. Nevertheless, nihilism's Void still hurts like crazy, so please help me figure out how to survive it!

-Duxwing

There need not be a meaning for life.

That said, if you strongly desire a meaning in life, the betterment of humanity certainly isn't a bad one. I personally think there are better ones. Less realistic ones, albeit, but still better ones.

A desire for truth in a universe without truth isn't rational at all. It is quite absurd... but it is also quite human. I am one who is oftentimes perfectly fine with the Void of nihilism, or even more, the antithesis of the Void which nihilism may produce in the mind; defeatism, yes: why live when living is meaningless, but there is also the enormous amount of chaotic energy that stems from nihilism: if life has no meaning, then why should anything anyone does be bounded by some fabricated system? The flip side of nihilism is perseverance... incredibly perverted by many, but perseverance nonetheless. In the masses, this truth of nihilism whose existence is so often referenced but whose essence is so often eluded forms itself as a hedonistic self-revelry. I like to think I see much beyond that; when synthesized with the negative picture of nihilism, you have one complete whole, comprised of the push-and-pull of depressive and chaotic energies. It is quite a precarious state to live in.

There is no truth, out in the cosmos. There is no great riddle to answer. We make it up. Humans make up the problems, they make up the solutions, and they make up the knowledge. As if the cosmos would ever allow such an insignificant creature as man to peek into its unfathomable depths... if he were to, his mind would surely become as dark and lifeless as the void he is peering into.

Not too long ago, I changed my avatar to the one I currently possess. The previous one was, what do you know, a light in the darkness. Ever since before I joined this forum, that avatar had contained various degrees of personal significance to me, just as (most) of my usernames in any forum have also: first, there was the light of god, who in his radiance quelled those in the shadows so that they may be seen in the light, second, the deep hope and belief that there existed some form of meaning or truth which redeem man and the way he is a virus on the universe, third, the hope that if at there was at least no meaning, then man had an innate light within him, which might enable him to move onto higher planes of existence, and so on.

At some point, the light both became a satire of itself, and a still-existent hope that it may exist, although that light was very much dimming. I still kept it for two or three years, letting its meaning remain, as tainted though that meaning was compared to the original intentions behind it. At some point, I decided that the thought of a light existing was no longer necessary. So here I am. And sure, there are times when I feel great surges of emotion come over me (mostly in listening to certain pieces of music in solitude), where I can see the beauty and value in existence, but those are calm waves which quickly integrate themselves into the vast empty ocean.

I'm still human. I still go through day-to-day life, I still have my mundane ups and downs, and I still (somewhat surprisingly, I admit) am able to feel a wide range of emotion. It's most of the time always a little flattened to be honest (except I still have strong ties with the chaotic energies whose forms are expressed most purely in black metal), but it's possible. It's possible to live even in the absence of light. In nihilism. I'd say I'm more or less no different from other people than I was before... my thoughts have just matured. I haven't been what I would call legitimately depressed in over a year, and I haven't thought about suicide in... slightly less time than that. But as far as I'm concerned, once you think about it once, you can never get it out of your mind. Not completely.

The most beautiful thing is the totality of nonexistence. There need be nothing else.

 

[Cognisant]

The alternative to logic is madness

I see no distinction.

You think logic tells you that to do you need purpose and if you're to have purpose you need meaning and if that meaning is to be valid it has to be embodied by the universe in some way, except the universe is meaningless so your "logic" falls apart, but if we start from the premise that the universe is meaningless and work our way back then the most logical, the sanest thing, is to go completely mad, in other words to do without purpose.

What do you do without purpose?
Whatever you want

A favourite saying of mine is "Before enlightenment, chop wood, get water; after enlightenment, chop wood, get water" the point of which is regardless of what you think the fact remains that you're still doing stuff and that will never change, so get on with it, and try to enjoy it, but only if you want to.

 

[Etheri]

I'll be a complete asshole, i'm sorry.

Dear Forum,

I've been wondering. If life has no meaning, then why am I so sad about it? Why does it need to have meaning? Why do I need any justification at all? The only answers that my mind gives me are:

1. The other thinkers would laugh at me if they saw the absurdity of my condition
2. One absolutely must have a justification for one's actions, and there MUST be a meaning to life
3. It is your path, padawan, you must search and find the light not just for yourself, but for all mankind.
4. You can't let Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest down; they put everything that they had into the betterment of mankind, and you can't give up the journey to Truth now.
5. The alternative to logic is madness

1. The others don't matter
2. Why must there be justification and why must there be a meaning? You're reasoning in circles, which is faulty logic.
3. Why does mankind matter? See 1.
4. Why do "Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest" matter? See 1.
5. Why, and what makes you think logic and madness are mutually exclusive?*

I find 2 and 5 the only interesting ones. The rest is call to authority, more faulty logic. I don't think madness and logic are mutually exclusive. There are many arguments which are logically sound and mad, both at once. (From my point of view.)
Now 2 is the only one I can agree with. We crave for reason, meaning. That doesn't mean there is any, but nothing stops you from creating it yourself, which in fact is what I think you're doing...

 

[Duxwing]

I'll be a complete asshole, i'm sorry.

1. The others don't matter
2. Why must there be justification and why must there be a meaning? You're reasoning in circles, which is faulty logic.
3. Why does mankind matter? See 1.
4. Why do "Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest" matter? See 1.
5. Why, and what makes you think logic and madness are mutually exclusive?*

I find 2 and 5 the only interesting ones. The rest is call to authority, more faulty logic. I don't think madness and logic are mutually exclusive. There are many arguments which are logically sound and mad, both at once. (From my point of view.)
Now 2 is the only one I can agree with. We crave for reason, meaning. That doesn't mean there is any, but nothing stops you from creating it yourself, which in fact is what I think you're doing...

I like that word, "craving". It suits the feeling perfectly.

@Cognisant

That's what I tried earlier, but everything I do feels hollow without it. Perhaps I'm an F type (man... that would be strange) but having nothing to for lack of a word 'believe' in leaves me feeling flat and worthless. The opposite, if you want to develop a practical solution, would be the sense of immediate and ideal purpose that I encountered whilst watching "Glorious Dawn" by Symphony of Science; surprisingly, my prior religious state did little to help besides providing what I thought was a universal moral code.

Since what you say makes logical sense, and what I said in the OP doesn't, and since I'm having difficulty living my day-to-day life due to emotional difficulties, I wager that I'm mentally ill. In other words, a purely logical being, provided an inferior Fe to set its initial biases, would be entirely capable of living an existential life; conversely, I'm having emotional trouble with it. Therefore, my mental health is somehow compromised.

Returning to logical matters, though, why does it follow to do as one pleases if there is no meaning? The set of things that I enjoy is oddly specific, so why that set and not a very similar but not quite identical one instead?

-Duxwing

 

[Cognisant]

Every last vestige of religious thought has to be purged, if you are to find yourself emotionally congruent with a hollow universe you must find the hollowness within yourself, it's not enough to merely have the momentary rational epiphany, you have years of programming to overcome and it will take time, maybe months, maybe years, dwell upon the existential truth if you wish to speed the process up.

Returning to logical matters, though, why does it follow to do as one pleases if there is no meaning? The set of things that I enjoy is oddly specific, so why that set and not a very similar but not quite identical one instead?

Indeed.

I added "but only if you want to" to my advice for exactly that reason, I did not mean to imply that life should be enjoyed or that you should be doing something, heck don't even do what you want to do if you, um...

The English language fails me, anyway basically you shouldn't do anything nor nothing because you think you should, because there is no "should" or "shouldn't" in a meaningless universe, there just is what is and what you do. It could be said that I'm suggesting you live in the moment, funny thing is trying to live in the moment is the only way to not live in the moment as trying to live in the moment is trying to live in the moment in contrast to just doing it.

That amuses me

 

[Duxwing]

Every last vestige of religious thought has to be purged, if you are to find yourself emotionally congruent with a hollow universe you must find the hollowness within yourself, it's not enough to merely have the momentary rational epiphany, you have years of programming to overcome and it will take time, maybe months, maybe years, dwell upon the existential truth if you wish to speed the process up.


Indeed.

I added "but only if you want to" to my advice for exactly that reason, I did not mean to imply that life should be enjoyed or that you should be doing something, heck don't even do what you want to do if you, um...

The English language fails me, anyway basically you shouldn't do anything nor nothing because you think you should, because there is no "should" or "shouldn't" in a meaningless universe, there just is what is and what you do. It could be said that I'm suggesting you live in the moment, funny thing is trying to live in the moment is the only way to not live in the moment as trying to live in the moment is trying to live in the moment in contrast to just doing it.

That amuses me

Is the hollowness within myself that you describe the same kind of hollowness faced by a depressed person, or is it something something else? Moreover, does this mean that I have to ditch my personality, too?

-Duxwing

 

[Cognisant]

No, I mean if the universe is meaningless you've got to be meaningless too, that hollow feeling you described is the result of trying and failing to contextualize your actions as meaningful, once you stop doing that you'll be hollow, but you won't feel hollow, it's like how someone can't miss something they've never had, you thought your life was meaningful, now you miss it, but once you grasp that your life never was meaningful you'll realize that hollow as you may be you have no reason to feel hollow because you've only lost what you already didn't have.

It can be depressing, the more meaning you thought your life had the greater your sense of loss will be, but you'll get over it, and when you do you'll look back bemusedly and wonder why you worried so much about such inconsequential things. Personally I used to drive myself nuts worrying that I wasn't enjoying life enough or doing something more important, but in retrospect that's like the difference between trying to live in the moment, and actually doing it, worrying about whether or not I'm sufficiently enjoying life is hardly enjoying life now is it?

How ironic it is that once I stopped worrying about whether or not I was enjoying life, when admittedly I got so depressed that I just didn't care anymore, I suddenly started enjoying it a lot more, because no longer did I have to enjoy life, I simply wanted to.

Likewise getting back to the madness, once you stop trying to justify what you do you'll discover the pure joy of doing for it's own sake

e.g. Why do science? For Science!

Moreover, does this mean that I have to ditch my personality, too?

Why would it?

 

[Cognisant]

And before you ask "Why Science?" I ask you, why not?

Why? Why not?

 

[6125]

Step one, Define meaning:
1. what is intended to be, or actually is, expressed or indicated; signification
2. the end, purpose, or significance of something

Step two, Define nonsense:
1.words or language having little or no sense or meaning.
2.conduct, action, etc., that is senseless, foolish, or absurd: to have tolerated enough nonsense.
3.impudent, insubordinate, or otherwise objectionable behavior: He doesn't have to take that nonsense from you.
4.something absurd or fatuous: the utter nonsense of such a suggestion.
5.anything of trifling importance or of little or no use.

So the first component of meaning indicates that something must make sense, not having meaning would basically mean not having made any sense of the world and the self. If i have developed a cause and effect rule for most of the external and internal relationships in my reality, my life will by definition have the first component of meaning. I would argue that your mental faculties, which include intelligence, emotional control, etc, would be the only factor that would dictate the limits of your ability to construct such a model of the world.

The second component to meaning is direction. That is to say, what is the endpoint of life. Well, if our direction is death, which is a non definable condition, then life has no meaning by definition because death is nonsense. However that implies looking at life like some sort of singular event in a biology textbook or a range of a few decades on a tombstone. If we define life on a micro scale, there are almost an infinite amount of endpoints by which to define meaning. Now as a unique human being, it is important for you to define that endpoint for yourself. Clearly some arbitrary finish line will not constitute an endpoint.

This leads to a very interesting idea. We do not get to choose the mental faculties which we are born with and that help us make sense of the world, nor do we really get to choose what endpoints are our own and in line with our biological personality type. Ignoring for a second the fact that our brains are constantly changing through our interactions with our environment, there would clearly be an optimal meaningful activity for any human being at any static point in time where we could maximize those two variables so something like sense multiplied by personal significance would constitute meaning for any human being in any environment at any point in time.

 

[Cognisant]

So the madness doesn't send one off in a random direction, it sends you in what you intuit to be the best direction for you given all the data the subconscious has available to it, well that's good to know. But best to let it sort itself out rather than thinking about the meaningful optimization of activity, because if you're doing that then you're worrying about whether your current activity is optimal or not, which is miserable enough, but it also distracts you from the activity at hand and may have you insecurely jumping from one thing to the next which, ironically hindering you from achieving productivity.

 

[6125]

Well yes, using the above framework one can have meaning without having a logical framework. Even an insect could have meaning. Or even a genius can attain meaning in the moment by satisfying some base need such as sex or food. I think the sticking point for a thinking person who has realized that the world is filled with evil and stupidity is to not let this dissuade them from meaning, because i think that our minds tend to see problems extremely clearly and therefore assume that because a problem cannot be fixed, that is, the endpoint in that context cannot be reached, that our own lives will lack meaning because the world as a whole lacks it. Once you look past saving society as an endpoint, your life can regain meaning.

Meditation by the way can help with both living more in the present moment and having a more grounded view of the world.

Another interesting definition to think about...note #2.

hum·ble   [huhm-buhl, uhm-] Show IPA adjective, hum·bler, hum·blest, verb, hum·bled, hum·bling.
adjective
1.
not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2.
having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.

So therefore i am humble in my view of myself in relation to the world, and in fact this is empowering to me because i can see the possibilities that do exist for myself.

 

[Cognisant]

Even an insect could have meaning. Or even a genius can attain meaning in the moment by satisfying some base need such as sex or food.

How is that meaning?

In regard to this thread's topic meaning is the justification for purpose, now a insect's actions may be purposeful and a genius's need of sex or food may be the source of a temporary purpose, but there's nothing meaningful about them.

I think the sticking point for a thinking person who has realized that the world is filled with evil and stupidity is to not let this dissuade them from meaning, because i think that our minds tend to see problems extremely clearly and therefore assume that because a problem cannot be fixed, that is, the endpoint in that context cannot be reached, that our own lives will lack meaning because the world as a whole lacks it. Once you look past saving society as an endpoint, your life can regain meaning.

Again what meaning?
Furthermore what is evil?

 

[6125]

You say there is nothing meaningful about those activities, according to what definition?

 

[Cognisant]

As I said: the justification for purpose.

Alleviating hunger is the purpose of eating and avoiding suffering because one should is the the meaning of alleviating hunger, but that "should" is arbitrary, I could just as rightly say ones should not eat to alleviate hunger because doing so is ultimately self defeating, eating prolongs the state of living and so long as one is alive one will be plagued by forms of suffering like hunger, whereas if one tolerates hunger in the short term one will die and so be permanently freed from the suffering in the long term.

Of course that's absurd too, so my point is thus, neither "should" nor "should not" is congruent with the meaninglessness of the universe, so there is no meaning other than the contrivances we create, and these contrivances appear to do little more than worry us needlessly.

Better instead to simply live with arbitrary purpose, it doesn't really change anything, before enlightenment chop wood and collect water, after enlightenment chop would and collect water, but in the absence of meaning one can contentedly do without worrying about whether or not this is what one should be doing.

 

[Duxwing]

In essence, we can cast off the "May I do this?" layer of behavioral regulation that we acquired during our time in childhood. Now, as free adults, we can do as we please-- but live with the consequences.

-Duxwing

 

[snafupants]

Now, as free adults, we can do as we please-- but live with the consequences.

Now that sounds like Sartre.

 

[6125]

Justification:
: an acceptable reason for doing something : something that justifies an action

Reason:
a fact, condition, or situation that makes it proper or appropriate to do something, feel something, etc

The idea of living in a meaningless universe does not mean that what is an "acceptable reason" needs to be somehow rationalized relative to it, this seems to be super arbitrary to me, and the "universe" is somehow so often used as a reference point to some sort of ultimate reality, both of which seem to be assumptions. Every human's meaning therefore changes relative to the facts, conditions, or situation in the present moment. The idea of "meaning of life" in fact is a concept that doesnt make any sense, because meaning is not static, as it requires the perception of a judge and therefore that judge travels through time. Seems clear that people are not comfortable being authority figures for themselves and instead believe in a god in order to assign meaning to a meaningless world which they wrongly believe is somehow indistinct from themselves.

 

[Duxwing]

The world is indistinguishable from my Self at the grandest scale. I am likely made of energy and quarks, just like the technology that allows me to post this very message.

-Duxwing

 

[Sorlaize]

If life has no meaning, then why am I so sad about it? Why does it need to have meaning?

Your mind creates a need for everything to make sense. If your mind wasn't restricted to being your mind, however.. and if you could solve this 'problem' of needing meaning.. then those particular (previous learning) efforts would seem to be fruitless, right?

The problem exists and is kept interesting, because of the "primitive" state of our minds. Life is inherently incomplete, rather than being inherently complete. There are no ultimate goals set out for you, and so, life will forever tax you and a "final state of happiness" or final point of journeying, will always run from you. Someone on this forum said suffering could be the point of life. Again: the problem exists because of the very particular creation of the mind.

The human mind processes things a certain way and, fundamentally, it's difficult for us to escape thinking traps such as whether some thing or function is a threat to us.. how things emotionally affect us. They get in the way of logical, rational thoughts which for example can be used to combat a fear of the dark; a fear of being alone out in the night in the pitch black..

The human mind cannot function without making everything have a human meaning. Everything must be threatening, or friendly, or neutral.. when things are not so simple as that we try to put things into those boxes in our heads. This is, for us humans, what it means to be alive. If there was no meaning to life and you were raw computing code that couldn't feel but could merely sort and group and merge pieces of information together.. that wouldn't be a conscious existence. To be a conscious existence, is to function independently and against the rest of the universe. Foundationally, it's a stupid "goal"..


But, probably a far more interesting thing to think about here, when talking about an existence, is the lack of sincerity in it at all.



I'll try reverse-engineering your rationalizations; they can all be deconstructed eventually anyway:

The other thinkers would laugh at me if they saw the absurdity of my condition

Comparing yourself to others: a rationalization for continuing to do something

One absolutely must have a justification for one's actions, and there MUST be a meaning to life

Sounds like "the INTP's necessity to understand the universe"

It is your path, padawan, you must search and find the light not just for yourself, but for all mankind.

Another self-image/psyche rationalization. "I've got to be the best I can be" .. however, the best you can be always extends as you become great. It literally never ends. At each choice you *COULD* have made in life, you very possibly chose a sub-optimal choice, which means the further you go down the line of life choices the more depressing it potentially is. haha

You can't let Socrates, Plato, Sartre, Nietszche, and the rest down; they put everything that they had into the betterment of mankind, and you can't give up the journey to Truth now.

Same as above. Who are you to say what the value of ground truth is? *CAN* it be relevant to humanity? Is it even possible for one man to do whatever it is you're trying to do? But on one hand, see, you could just go along anyway and not answer these questions, and then you'd be able to do whatever it was, possibly. By just ploughing through it all anyway, "just for the experience" or whatever.

The alternative to logic is madness

So, you fear not being able to explain your actions or your existence?

I feel this idea of Truth "calling" to me, and it almost makes me want to give it a teary salute. Not of sadness, but out of a feeling of duty, that I have to do this, that to solve the great riddles of the cosmos is my purpose, my lot in life.

Entirely irrational? I don't know.

It's a great rush you get when you have that feeling. I know it. Irrational in a universal sense? Yes, because absurdity cannot be fought, ultimately. Irrational for the invidual? No, because, this is about personal meaning.

Your lot in life can be anything you want it to be, in theory. People attach themselves to many different things. Many religions; many patterns of behaviour which they repeat every so often.. none of that is "wrong" because, well, it is a part of that person. You can't do any wrong in life, because there is no "right" path which you must follow. Things are far too complex for there to be pre-ordained human concepts which direct a balance of good and evil in the world, or whatever.

Really, to be able to answer any question like "what should I do with my life", you have to quantify it all.. everything.. the entire world.. because that's what all the connections *are*, and therefore what all the things *are*. Nothing can exist independently of anything else in our universe. That's probably, like, one of few sentences that has made 100% sense, ever. Being able to answer those questions.. that's what I'm working towards.

If so, then my search for clarity and understanding in all things is simply a healthy variation on the theme of human personality. Nevertheless, nihilism's Void still hurts like crazy, so please help me figure out how to survive it!

Distract yourself with something that doesn't remind you of that thing which upsets you. That's the general human solution to any problem. Watch a film or some Internet TV; meet someone and fall in love; that kind of thing.

Distraction is not a full solution, but it's an *effective* solution while it's in place. It completely withdraws the mind from thinking on the absurd. So, it's 100% effective if you keep yourself distracted..

1. Why does mankind matter? See 1.

hahahahaha

Because we're so personally invested in it. It's a core/primitive human thing. The primitive attachment to everything human; the disbelief and disability of us to completely detach from conscious life on Earth and fly off into space.. is what makes us a part of reaching a solution to the problem.

You could argue that we've "merely" "just" created a single first human society out of all possible societies.. such that this particular one; this particular phase of human life is completely reproducible.. or worthless. And so, you might just give up trying to change things. I'm thinking like that in a political sense. If things are impossible to change, why even bother? There is an element of me thinking "screw it, just enjoy the ride" which I've heard other people say, talking about existence.

But there is also the very direct sense of feeling attached, "in the here and now", to other people and to other things. That is very powerful, and it drives our constructs of meaning and our actions and our dependencies & addictions on various things in the world. You can't suddenly take that away from someone, even if you are able to somehow prove that that person's life is illogical and need not exist any more at all.