The Dirty Game

[Auburn]

IT'S THAT TIME!

Prepare your (inner) perv for something that could end either exquisitely well or terribly gross. (which might be exquisite for some anyhow o.0)

So it goes like this.

The first member suggests *any* 2 objects/things and 1 verb they want. The next person has the joyous task of mixing these together into something kinky. Other objects and verbs can be used as well as long as these three are used.

Lets begin!

wrapper
chocolate
wiggle

 

[Latte]

I put his chocolate in my wrapper and I wiggled it about ~


faucet
kool-aid
drive

 

[redbaron]

When I drive to the store I buy kool-aid from the faucet.

ass
dildo
ram

 

[Fukyo]

angry goat ramming people on the street with its ass, a dildo shaped cloud on the horizon

pony
cookie
sponge

 

[Kuu]

Pony up with the money I ain't buying you those cookies! — she said as she threw a sponge in his face.

cream lick thigh

 

[redbaron]

As I was putting cream on the chocolate cake, the cat tried to lick my thigh.

Radio
Water
Walk

 

[Kuu]

OMG Redbaron, walk over there and get the radio, I think my water just broke!

celery
penis
shackles

 

[Deleted member 1424]

ass
dildo
ram

Once upon a time a wolf ate both the ass and ram of a humble farmer. Devastated and financially ruined he snuck into a museum for sex toys and stole a huge gold plated dildo; intending to melt it down. However curiosity got the better of him. Sometime later he was rushed to the hospital where he died from a perforated colon. Once extracted from the depths of the farmer's ass, the dildo was returned to it's rightful place in the sex toy museum, but it never shined quite as bright after that.

edit:
Damn it.
You people post too quickly.

 

[Latte]

Since Adaire hasn't given words...

celery
penis
shackles

Auburn slapped his shackles across Fukyo's face and started to make thin strips out of the celery. "Put it in", he demanded. "Yes sir, cop sir", said Fukyo, and slid a thin wedge into Auburn's penis.



Bonus round:

Spoiler

cream lick thigh

Kuu creamed himself upon witnessing Fukyo's big gun. "That's my fetish", he uttered. Fukyo was startled at first, but then a wry smile erupted on the face. She aimed the gun at Red Baron and said "Come. Take down kuu's pants and lick him clean for me". Red Baron obeyed, for that was his fetish. He almost creamed his pants himself, for he loved being bossed around by his mistress. As he pulled down the pants, Kuu's milky substance ran far down his thighs. Fukyo licked her lips from across the room, eager for what was about to unfold, she shivered and found herself touching the inside of her left thigh.

WORDS:

Log
Horse
Fence

 

[redbaron]

Since Latte hasn't given words...

pony
cookie
sponge

As Fukyo gave Kuu his daily sponge bath, taking extra care to clean in and around his armpits, a pony burst through the wall holding a tray of cookies. Delighted, Kuu and Fukyo ate the entire tray, only to realize the cookies were laced with chloroform. As Fukyo and Kuu became dazed and lost consciousness, Latte emerged from the pony suit, grinning widely. The rest as they say, is history....

Dolphin
Chair
Gasp

Spoiler

About time you lifted your game Latte.

 

[Polaris]

^Words!

Driving instructor
Banana
Crash

Edit: that was aimed at latte :/

Argh everyone's too quick

 

[Kuu]

Oh shit oh shit oh shit, Redbaron screamed as he rushed into the restroom. He had to stop his rush to gasp deeply, however, when he saw the dolphin cover on the lid of the toilet chair. It was hard for him to poop when being stared by smiling cetaceans, but he did his best.

angus
pepper
whip

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Kuu eagerly rubbed his hands together. He loved nothing better than freshly peppered angus. Though it wasn't quite ready; it needed a bit whipping to make it nice and tender. He couldn't wait to dig in.

lightbulb
collar
purple carrots

 

[PhoenixRising]

^Words!

Driving instructor
Banana
Crash

Edit: that was aimed at latte :/

Argh everyone's too quick

'Comeon you sexy driving instructor, crash that banana into my hatchback full speed!

hat
weasel
frolic

 

[Polaris]

lightbulb
collar
purple carrots

As Kuu attempted for the fifth time to insert his tricky lightbulb where Redbaron wanted it, he got his fingers too far up the socket which turned them into purple carrots. Phoenix promptly blushed a dark shade of tomato red down to her collar.

Leather
Lather
Jaccuzzi

 

[PhoenixRising]

^
http://youtu.be/Nha2h5KZJII

Edit:

Redbaron scowled at Kuu, then a large grin spread across his face as he said, "Lather up that leather man-thong and join me in the jaccuzzi!"

velociraptor
envelope
swagger

 

[Auburn]

She was the nerdiest girl I'd ever seen. A velociraptor cosplayer at ComiCon who I didn't expect to see beyond the afternoon, or wanted to. I mean, Jurassic Park - a franchise now decades old - wasn't even a comic.

Then after the event she undressed ...her raptor suit. And I saw her sweaty white T-shirt and tight shorts. Fastforward a few hours of nerd talking, showing my gamer swagger, and I'm ...opening her envelope.


flower
ankles
flail

 

[Jennywocky]

"Ah, my pretty flower!" he leered, looking down upon her -- the most delicate petals, the friendliest fronds, the most brilliant colors of her unfolding pistils (and, deep in, tantalizingly visible but only barely, glistening with morning dew, the soft creamy color of her inner botanical recesses).

He bent over to sniff her pungent fragrance, hands in the dirt, head near his ankles -- and that is when the bull in the moment of heat saw him and, aroused, charging thunderously at the ample target.

Would he flail? Perhaps.
But it was agreed that the one thing he would never do was forget.

goo
airhorn
squeak

 

[kris]

Hulking twisted metal crash,
Burning car tires, melting dreams,
The squeak and squeal of my stadium seat
As my long clogged fuel injector starts to spray
Like an air horn blast of orgasmic goo.
Nascar.
Fuck yeah.

onomatopoeia
poetry
visualize

 

[Helvete]

I like touching myself, other people too. I think they like it, it's onomatopoeia gets visualised by everyone; pornographic poetry.

Shuttlecock

Senior citizen

Strum

 

[Jennywocky]

Hulking twisted metal crash,
Burning car tires, melting dreams,
The squeak and squeal of my stadium seat
As my long clogged fuel injector starts to spray
Like an air horn blast of orgasmic goo.
Nascar.
Fuck yeah.

Your dirty fantasies are reallly... different.

 

[kris]

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- the goal was kink, and not my fantasies. I mean, jerking off to car crashes is one thing, but I don't want people getting the mistaken impression I'm into Nascar.

 

[Jennywocky]

Whoa, whoa, whoa -- the goal was kink, and not my fantasies. I mean, jerking off to car crashes is one thing, but I don't want people getting the mistaken impression I'm into Nascar.

Thank goodness. I was planning to report you for immediate deportation.

 

[Milo]

You all suck at eroticism... Lol. Try harder!

-Shaving Cream
-Wine Bottle
-Bite

 

[OrLevitate]

I like touching myself, other people too. I think they like it, it's onomatopoeia gets visualised by everyone; pornographic poetry.

Shuttlecock

Senior citizen

Strum

So many nuts. Nuts, everywhere. Hickory nuts, walnuts, and hazelnuts adorning even the loftiest swaying branches, and senior citizens' nuts adorning the subjacent scenery. Yes, we're at The Springs senior citizens' community, and this summer the picking is good.
Alone, in frustration, Clarence heaves a grunt, wondering where Harriet has run off to this time. Every summer she gets like this, gallivanting from here to there to here, playing hard to get, and, counterintuitvely, behaving the same way in the coldest months of winter. The consistent precision with which her mood changes every year without fail used to strike Clarence as eccentric, but in his older age he's now more willing to admit that the seasons have an affect on his mood too. His mood right now, is to find out where the heck Harriet is.
A shuttlecock zooms past Clarence's skittish countenance as he follows the remaining trajectory with his eyes, like a child at a shooting star, or a comet rather. Tree leaves ruffle and lo and behold, Harriet is seen scampering out of the crash site. In a panic, she dashes downward towards the safety of Clarence, but as soon as she's upon him she keeps on going. Clarence heaves in frustration once more as he hurries to catch up to her. Up and down, then up again they go, until the strumming of the dinner-time harp stops Harriet in her tracks, her attention being whimsically drawn elsewhere. Clarence comes to a halt by way of Harriet's body and finds himself gripping her haunches.
*squeak*
*squeak*
*squeeeeak*
Then to their hoard of nuts they retire, for a twilight nibble.









poop
schadenfruede
farts