Testifying in court

[EditorOne]

Here's a new terror for INTPness: Testifying in court. Had to go on the stand for an old, old (nine years old) $27 million libel suit this week. Being on the stand wasn't so bad -- probably like the moment when you hear the guillotine start down, a certain internal adjustment amounting to release occurred -- but the days leading up to it were very high pressure indeed. My Robert Mitchum mask was on all the time. The introvert in me went on vacation and left it all to Big Bob and his "Yeah, so?" stare.

 

[ApostateAbe]

Did you get cross examined?

 

[Trebuchet]

Well, can we have more details about what it was like? How did it go? How much preparation did you have to go through? How long did it take?

 

[EditorOne]

Yes, examined -- I was a defense witness for my former newspaper -- and cross-examined by the plaintiff's lawyer.

I will go into more details after the trial finishes, which should be Thursday or Friday US East Coast time. Anything I say now, believe it or not, even on a forum as obscure to braying extroverted trial lawyers as this one is, could conceivably be picked up by a tailored Web bot and come back to haunt me, really quickly.

 

[ApostateAbe]

You had best keep it to yourself. Once your web username is connected to your permanent life name, anything you say anywhere on the web can come back to haunt you.

 

[snafupants]

*Slowly erases text revealing sensitive details of case, and heaves computer through nearest window in paranoia.* Watch your back EditorUno.

 

[EditorOne]

We won.

http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20101021/NEWS/101029958

I had to answer my attorney's questions and then his attorney's questions. The issue was mortgages for too much money, with bogus appraisals to make first-time, bad credit, out-of-area home buyers think they were getting proper value for their money. We uncovered the whole mess in 2001; it is exactly, precisely, the stuff that led to the stock market collapse. The initial lenders didn't care if the home buyers defaulted or not; by the time economically stricken home buyers found out they couldn't pay for the house and tried to sell it, and found out it was really worth only 50-60 percent of what they borrowed, the loan initiators were out of the picture. They'd sold the undercollateralized mortgages to Goldman Sachs or Fannie Mae, which bundled them up and sold them as securities. Eventually, when millions of these all started to go sour at the same time, you and I bailed out the situation with TARP and other bailouts using our tax money.

It was a complicated issue with a simple immoral trick at the heart of it, and we explained it over three days of coverage. One of the plotters objected to having his stuff exposed, and filed a libel suit. So far as I can tell the basis of his suit was that people at my paper were too stupid to have figured out what was going on , therefore we had to be wrong. The jury disagreed.

His attorney was quite annoying. "Is it not true that" and "Would you be surprised" are not ways to get an INTP talking. He began almost every question with those phrases, and it was interesting. "Is it not true that the sky is blue?" is, figuratively, a sample of the unassailably true things he'd ask about. And I'd say "Yes" and he'd look at the jury with an "aha!" look as if we'd printed that the sky was orange, which we had not. You can imagine how well all that sat with my INTPness. But I stifled myself and did what the lawyers advised, which was to adopt an air of gravitas, let my silver hair dignify the tawdry proceedings, and answer briefly and softly in my best BBC/NPR voice, which some of you have heard.

The ramping up to the testimony was far worse than the actual courtroom experience. Somewhere I draw up reserves of strength and actually get comfortable once these things are rolling. It's like "OK, I already fell off the bridge, might as well enjoy the fall" or something. :-)

 

[Oblivious]

This is probably one of the more awesome things I have read on this forum.

 

[Trebuchet]

Yeah, thanks for sharing that.

 

[DarkGreen]

That was very inspiring though I think I'd be a sore winner. "DUDE I BEAT YOU"

 

[Reluctantly]

^ LMAO

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

LOL great stuff. I actually had to take the stand when i was younger to defend my mother in a case against another woman in my neighborhood who was sueing for hospital bills and pain and suffering after a little "confrontation".

Like you mentioned, i was kind of on edge before the case but once i actually sat on the stand, i felt absolutely confidant. The lawyer was an absolute idiot and i pretty much stomped a mudhole in his ass, i turned every question he asked me. Once it got to his main question, (the one regarding the time during the fight when my mother supposedly kicked the woman in the chest, which they said caused the mild stroke the woman had later that night) I blew the entire case open, tore into pretty much their entire testimony, explaining that the woman had been in the road yelling at pretty much every kid in the neighborhood because someone had said something about her grandaughter, and her frantic behavior and all the yelling is probably what caused the stroke, and that in the time when my mother supposedly kicked he woman in the chest, the woman she was fighting, and the womans daughter (who also tried to take part in the fight) had pushed my mom to the ground and were trying to grab her feet. I explained this all in one extremely long run on sentence ending with something along the lines of, "I never saw my mom's foot hit her chest but even if it did, if you were on the ground being attacked by 2 people, wouldnt you kick at them too?" Then i stopped, caught my breath, and stared at the lawyer, who i could tell had pretty much nothing else to go off of, given the blank look in his face.

I thought it was fun, I will also never forget looking back and seeing my ISTP friend who had come to court with us incase we needed any kind of extra support regarding my moms character or whatever, cant think of what that is called. Anyway he had his face in his hand and his face was blood red, i could tell he had been trying hard as he could to not laugh his ass off. After we left, he told me that it looked like i was making fun of the lawyer, which i wasnt really trying, i just thought the lawyer was an idiot so i was kind of condescending in my answers.

Funfun

 

[EditorOne]

You have an interesting life there.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Stuff happens you know The lady was freaking out on a bunch of little kids, being one of the oldest kids there i had to say something to her, at least try to rationalize.

She was apparently beyond that.

My mother saw her while she was standing out on our porch, in my face yelling at me. Came down to see what was going on.. the lady apparently underestimated my mothers lack of tolerance for smack talk.

The battle ensued.

End of the day, the old lady probably should have stopped and listened to me, sad part is, after getting whooped on, losing a court case that she started, and worst of all.. had a freaking stroke, i bet she still didnt learn anything.



Edit: Forgot to mention, domsetic disputes arent quite as interesting as taking part in a case involving 27 million. Funfun

 

[Lost until Found]

Stuff happens you know The lady was freaking out on a bunch of little kids, being one of the oldest kids there i had to say something to her, at least try to rationalize.

She was apparently beyond that.

My mother saw her while she was standing out on our porch, in my face yelling at me. Came down to see what was going on.. the lady apparently underestimated my mothers lack of tolerance for smack talk.

The battle ensued.

End of the day, the old lady probably should have stopped and listened to me, sad part is, after getting whooped on, losing a court case that she started, and worst of all.. had a freaking stroke, i bet she still didnt learn anything.



Edit: Forgot to mention, domsetic disputes arent quite as interesting as taking part in a case involving 27 million. Funfun

It amazes me how some people can be so stupid over such a silly thing (emotions). /sigh

She had a stroke too!? :/

PS: Believe me, she learned. She's just too stubborn to admit defeat and confess that she was at the wrong (who likes to do that???). That was (and still is most likely) her downfall--stubbornness.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Sadly that is also my mothers downfall, this is why there was a battle to begin with.

 

[EditorOne]

You and all of us can learn a lesson from that emotional woman, too: Sometimes reason can not even make a dent in emotion. That's a scary thought.

 

[Moocow]

I find comfort in the fact that the most irrational, emotional, impulsive people are at highest risk for psychosomatic illness.
It's funny that she tried to blame your mother for her stroke. How exactly does being kicked in the chest cause a stroke?
The first thing I thought of was rockem sockem robots.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

@ E1-"Sometimes reason can not even make a dent in emotion. That's a scary thought."

Like i said, my mother is no better than that woman.. Imagine what my day to day life consists of.

 

[Lost until Found]

It's funny that she tried to blame your mother for her stroke. How exactly does being kicked in the chest cause a stroke?

Do you know this story personally? How do you know that the lady tried to blame his mother for her stroke (he never said that in his post). And when did he say his mother kicked her in the chest which in turn caused the stroke (he never said that in his post either)?

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

I actually did say she blamed my mother, thats why we were in court to begin with. And he was just asking how someone would go about having a stroke after being kicked in the chest, he is probably just curious considering it is a condition in the brain not the chest.

No need to be a negative nancy.

Edit: I think my little story has taken away from the thread enough, I say someone else here has to have some kind of experience on the stand. More stories! Go!

 

[Jennywocky]

...The first thing I thought of was rockem sockem robots.

This thread is bringing back great memories!

(Well, except for the fact I've never had to testify in court. I almost got picked for jury duty for a murder trial once, but of course they dodged me.)

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Aww, i have always kind of wanted to do jury duty, but im not a registered voter, and probably never will be.

 

[EditorOne]

I believe in some states they now take jurors from the list of those holding drivers licenses rather than voter lists.

 

[walfin]

Congrats on the win! Free press FTW.

My one experience was not so good, my friend went to jail.