Talking with myself on the cellphone

[Citizen X]

I was going to write about this when it happened, but for some reason forgot about it.

Since breaking up with my ex, I have been haunting plenty of places by my own, more so than when I was on a relationship, for obvious reasons, usually book stores, abandoned places (I love that) or nature parks. This Sunday, however, I decided to buy a book (McMafia by Misha Glenny) and read it at an Italian styled coffee shop I know, just because.

Anyway, when I stopped reading I noticed that I was the only person by myself in the whole packed place, and the only one with a book, at that. Every single table was occupied by people with friends, lovers or family.

I don't know if it was the existential blues, or raging hormones (I haven't had sex in a long time, even months before the breakup) but I took my cellphone, which never gets any calls other than work related, dialed my house's phone number, waiting to hear my voice in the answering machine and started talking with myself, like a casual conversation.

-How are you holding up, boy?
-What about mom and dad?
-You still working in that shitty job?
-You need to take a break, don't be that hard on yourself
-No really, you do, listen you're in free fall mode now
-Me? No, I am out of the house, I just bought a book, you're going to like it. I'm reading it at the Italian shop.
-I feel tired from walking at the park last night, but it was worth it.
-I have this idea that many people you see on the streets talking on their cellphones are in fact insane individuals talking with themselves.
-Just don't give it much thought, it's bad for you
-Well, take care of yourself, and do something about that mess.


Then I came back home and listened to the whole conversation, it was surreal in a bittersweet way.

I know it really is of no relevance, but I find it curious that I actually had the nerve to do something like this.

Any of you fellow INTPs have similar,eccentric episodes?

 

[Waterstiller]

Any of you fellow INTPs have similar,eccentric episodes?

I do weird things like that. The closest was for an anniversary with a girlfriend where I suggested (seriously) that we go on a date and take notepads and instead of speaking we'd write down our thoughts and the things we want to say to eachother and at the end of the evening exchange notepads. The ENFP declined with laughter.

 

[Ermine]

^I'd totally accept! I am more articulate and less reserved in my writing, so that would be perfect. No matter how silly I may sound when I'm talking, they will always know what I think of them underneath it all.

 

[Toad]

I have done the cell phone thing when I was younger. It was very sad now that I think about it. I'm not saying you are sad citizen. I don't know your situation. But in high school I was not very good at making friends and had only one. So when I got a cell phone I would pretend to talk to people sometimes and act like I had a lot of friends.

 

[Citizen X]

I have done the cell phone thing when I was younger. It was very sad now that I think about it. I'm not saying you are sad citizen. I don't know your situation. But in high school I was not very good at making friends and had only one. So when I got a cell phone I would pretend to talk to people sometimes and act like I had a lot of friends.

Actually you aren't that far off, I'm not exactly on a "sad" situation right now, but I'm not on a "happy" one either.

 

[Toad]

^^yea I know how that feels. For me it's kind of like I want a bit of both worlds. But giving into one world excludes the other.

 

[snowqueen]

-I have this idea that many people you see on the streets talking on their cellphones are in fact insane individuals talking with themselves.

Actually I did recommend to a couple of ex-clients that they use bluetooth devices or headphone/mike set ups on cellphones to cover up the fact that they were talking to their voices! It works very well and reduces paranoia enormously. Similar to a client of mine with multiple sclerosis who discovered that walking with a stick stopped people thinking he was drunk.

Any of you fellow INTPs have similar,eccentric episodes?

Anyway returning to the OP - yes I have actually written letters to myself from boys when I was a teenager. I made up a holiday romance to impress my fellow schoolmates. As my internal world was at least as real, if not more so, than the real world, it gave me a lot of comfort. I did outgrow it though!! I have definitely had the experience you describe - of finding myself alone in a place where everyone else was with someone and found it disturbing and I think I might have had fake phone calls with 'friends' sometimes long ago.

 

[Melkor]

Actually.

I did something similar once.

I was studying for an exam, about two years ago, and I was extremely worried..

So, in order to calm myself down, I wrote a double sided page to my future self congratualting him on finishing the exam, and asking him how difficult it had been.
Oddly, this made me feel a lot better, and somewhat increased the sense of elation..

hrm..

 

[Tyria]

It can be therapeutic to hear one's voice talking and having a 'heart to heart' over a replayable medium (like an answering machine). It might be interesting to save those messages and to come back and listen to them again after a long time has passed. I find that time has an interesting way of making us forget those messages; it's great to hear them again and to see that we aren't stuck in that one moment.

 

[Citizen X]

I've also written a letter to myself. I did it four or five years ago and placed it in a book that I thought I was never going to open again.

About two or three weeks ago I was browsing that book, for some reason, and stumbled on the letter.

It was surreal, but I didn't laugh at the silliness.

I placed it again in another book, I don't remember which one, for future discoveries.

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

Citizen, I've done the phone call thing a couple of times, primarily, though, because I didn't want anyone around me to try and strike up a conversation.

 

[Toad]

Citizen, I've done the phone call thing a couple of times, primarily, though, because I didn't want anyone around me to try and strike up a conversation.

wow someone is stuck up...lol

 

[brain enclosed in flesh]

nah, more like introverted. Heard of it?

 

[Citizen X]

Citizen, I've done the phone call thing a couple of times, primarily, though, because I didn't want anyone around me to try and strike up a conversation.

One of the main reasons why I take a book during a flight is to avoid striking any conversations with the person sitting right next to me. The actual joy of reading comes latter, in those cases. I really can't stand small talk, even if the person is nice and all. Only when I am interested in the person then do I tolerate small talk.

Case in point, two days ago, everyone left to buy stuff at the snack store while I stayed in the office "working" (ie, browsing the internet). Then the secretary who is downstairs showed up an started talking with me about, well, about nothing.

I don't know if she got the message; while she was talking I was looking at the screen, nodding and "hmmming" everything she said. I even told her that I don't talk much when she asked me if I hanged out with this or that person, yet she still remained there talking until she said "well, take care, next time you come downstairs and talk, ok?" to which I simply said "hmmmm"