Social Phobia

[shunt the frupup]

Hello fellow INTPers, I'm new to the forum, 30 yoa, male, from Ireland.

I dont know about other INTP's but living so much in your head can lead to a little disconnection from the social world for me so much so that somehow through all the twists and turns my neurons had to do to play my part, i ended up being scared of social situations for quite a long time (a good ten years) but I am much better now then before and think it might even be possible to conquer it all together.

So just thought I'd share two things that are helping me right now with that, which are;
http://www.stopworry.com/
if you dont wanna pay fire up your p2p, the password is in the description link here:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3801468/The_Linden_Method_-_Anti_Anxiety_Method

and also http://www.succeedsocially.com/ a great bunch of artcles by a prior RPG geek and he writes it in such a way that its almost like getting Hit Points for every action you do right. I love it, and it really helps.

Actually there is a third thing too, because we are so anylitcal minded what i find is a great therapy is the freudian based Psychoanalysis, its a bit expensive but i go when i can. Also I thought i stick this link in its kind of related and might lead you on a bit of a google fest of your own http://infp.tribe.net/thread/81d15909-a738-4026-b191-5fa4a3e91c04

Cherry Pick what you will, good luck and if you have similar problems or disagree why not hit that reply button, at least it will boost my ego

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

Welcome to our forum!

i was browsing succeedsocially.com and it looks good. Yeah, I probably know most of the things... but a return to a reminder of the basics would be good.

(Parody opportunity: secedesocially.com)

 

[Zealot]

Being a lonely high-school student, that "Succeed Socially" website is going to be a great resource, I'm sure.
Thanks, and welcome to the forum!

 

[loveofreason]

And I've just moved this thread and made it your official social introduction to us all.

I haven't checked out those links yet, I think I already manage the social phobia in a way that, well, at present anyway, 'works' for me.

I just don't do any recreational socialising any longer.

What I've experienced - panic attacks at one stage, fear of public places - has always been a tad complex due to so many overlapping causes.

Just two weeks ago I had to go in to one of the nearby cities and while walking around I realised something was missing. I realised I wasn't afraid! I couldn't remember the last time I had felt safe in a public place - maybe never - but it was the most extraordinary experience suddenly realising I was in a public space and I actually felt safe!

Not the same as meeting people and socialising I know, but still - I wanted to say that for me, in that instance, an anxiety just seemed to have vanished. I can't claim to know why.

Well, boring bit over.

*shakes shunt's hand* Welcome. We're totally not scary.

 

[Sugarpop]

I have had a lot of speech anxiety-issues, but nowadays I'm mostly able to turn calm in the decisive moments. The moments before are still hell though, and I don't like having the attention turned towards me without warning. As a contrast, I freely raise my hand in class to give short comments, and I can often end up leading small group discussions if the topic is of interest.

 

[Perseus]

I enjoy public speaking, but I am not sure I am very good at it any more. Too nervous.

Small workshop talks and to university audience in lecture theatres are OK.

 

[Ermine]

Same here. I used to be afraid of talking at all because I kept on stumbling over my words, bt of anxiety, and never knew what to say. Now I'm fairly good at public speaking, and I often verbally contribute to discussions in class. Now the issues are talking on the phone and competing in conversations with 3 or more people.

 

[Jesin]

I can handle socializing pretty well. I'm not so good with public speaking, but socializing's fine.

 

[Chimera]

-puts a gold sticker on Lor's forehead-


Nyeh...I'm actually good at socializing even if I don't always like it. But public speaking absolutely terrifies me; when my teacher calls on me in class, I freeze up and have to breathe for a second before I can say anything. I don't like talking on the phone 'cause it's unpleasant, but I'm not actually afraid of it. And I'm not too fond of crowded places...I've had too many nightmares about being trapped in one, or the crowd suddenly panicking/rioting (following mob mentality)...

Oh, and welcome to the forum...eh...Shunt? Frup?
​

 

[saffyangelis]

I can talk to people, I live with all extraverts so I'm kinda used to it. I don't like it, and I get very intolerant if I have to talk to people for long amounts of time. I have an extremely intolerant mother who considers it a waste of a day if you don't spend it out socialising, which gets on my nerves.

I'm okay at public speaking, as long as I'm not by myself, like if I'm in a small group and so on. I've had to adjust to that as well, but I still don't like it, and I panic if I don't have what I'm going to say written in front of me.

 

[sagewolf]

I can hold my own in a conversation of one or two other friends. When the group gets bigger, though, I tend to just drop out and start watching, because I usually doubt I'll get a word in. Public speaking terrifies the heck out of me: I also have a very low, quiet voice so that doesn't help: no matter how loudly I think I speak, I always need to speak louder. And repeat myself.

Saffy, you are socialising. You're socialising with us!

 

[loveofreason]

I can hold my own in a conversation of one or two other friends. When the group gets bigger, though, I tend to just drop out and start watching, because I usually doubt I'll get a word in. Public speaking terrifies the heck out of me: I also have a very low, quiet voice so that doesn't help: no matter how loudly I think I speak, I always need to speak louder. And repeat myself.

The same - god how I hate repeating myself!

Saffy, you are socialising. You're socialising with us!

 

[saffyangelis]

According to my parents, it doesn't count.

My mum once walked up to me while I was on the computer, saw I was on the irc, and said "Oh, you're talking to your imaginary friends again? I wish you would get out more and see your real friends" and walked off.

 

[NoID10ts]

According to my parents, it doesn't count.

My mum once walked up to me while I was on the computer, saw I was on the irc, and said "Oh, you're talking to your imaginary friends again? I wish you would get out more and see your real friends" and walked off.

She's right, you know.

We are all imaginary.

We think you should play with matches, Saffy.

Burn them.

Burn them all.

When they ask why, tell them we told you to do it.

 

[saffyangelis]

I can't. They took my matches away.

They won't let me near fire any more. I don't think i'm allowed anywhere near candles even.

At least they're learning from their mistakes.

 

[NoID10ts]

We are very concerned by your lack of commitment, Saffy.

If no matches, get some knives, if no knives find some spoons.

Anything can be used as a weapon, Saffy.

We are your friends.

Listen to us.

We know what's best for you.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

Spoons?

*ominous voice* We know whats best for...

oh sod it

 

[saffyangelis]

I have crowbars. But there seem to be laws against murdering people. When we set up our own country by taking over tasmania, we can fix that. The law shall become "No murdering INXXs!"

 

[loveofreason]

Hooray!!!

So the revolution is on track?

Saffy, you're wonderful!!!

I'll leave the key to the place on one of the offshore islands... um... King, I think ...and a stash of weapons, and a map... and no-one here is awake after midnight...

 

[saffyangelis]

Revolution has always been on track Lor, I have the keys, and I'm on my way. There was a bit of an incident at the border guard?
You might want to check the news....

I shall now hide until the time is ripe, and everything is in place to clear everyone who isn't an INXX out, okaies?

 

[shadowmouse]

Now wait a minute..... I clearly remember at the last World Dominators Anonymous meeting we said we were gonna leave Tasmania out of this round. Something about it being too easy to nuke into the ocean.

Hmm, social phobia. I take exception to that classification. Use of the word phobia indicates an irrational fear or aversion. This is not so. Like paranoia, its only paranoia if they aren't actually out to get you. To get an accurate perception of what social interaction is like according to my experience please pay particular attention to top left three panels.

http://www.machall.com/view.php?date=2005-06-02

(And people wonder why I snicker so often when I see others in emotional pain and confusion......)

 

[loveofreason]

Revolution has always been on track Lor, I have the keys, and I'm on my way. There was a bit of an incident at the border guard?
You might want to check the news....

I shall now hide until the time is ripe, and everything is in place to clear everyone who isn't an INXX out, okaies?

'kay! (I thought I saw a shimmering little winged thing early this morning... and I seem to have acquired a stash of gold to fund our exploits! Don't worry about the border incident... the authorities are used to putting that kind of thing down to homebrew and mushrooms.)

Shadowmouse, you must be from the other World Dominators Anonymous... you're starting a revolution somewhere around St. Petersburg I believe?

That comic is BRILLIANT! When it comes to life I just can't figure humans out. They make no sense. No matter what you do. The number of times I've been that rat... I call it 'shocked dog syndrome' in my mind. The reasearch I read used dogs as test subjects.

 

[Vexbeast]

I don't have social problems. I'm perfectly happy not being friends with everyone I don't like. I just don't do enough social things to find people I like... :/

The internet helps with that, but then it's a matter of finding friends in your area.




...or buying a country and shipping them there in crates.

 

[Ghost1986]

i was at one point social phobic but not any more. i just enter venues, smile listen say a few short words and move on. i try to see if i can i keep the other person talking. iam also in the seduction community. my social skills have went up but iam having a hard time learning to talk more and i have noticed something odd. the more and more i learn, the more iam considering giving it all up. i do want to get a woman but its a lot of work to get my self to the proper social lever and iam starting to think really dont have intrest in other people.