Should i deactivate Facebook?

[YOLOisonlyprinciple]

-First, ill have to say that i dont use Facebook at all. Like once in 2-3 weeks i open it up just to check a thing or two. I havent posted anything in ~3 years.
But for some reason, Facebook seems to decide how my life should be. It makes no sense, but every time i dream about something in the future, Facebook has a role in it.


Say, i dream about being able to save some money and buy a small sailboat n just sail across countries with low spending. I think how nice of a life it will be.
But, BAM the next thought i have is, hmm when i DO buy that sailboat could i post my pictures on the sailboat travelling different countries EVERY week or EVERY month?

Like, whether or not i want to do something seems to be significantly influenced by how awesome it will look when i post on Facebook. Hmm should i take a car trip to the Himalayas when i manage to get a vacation at work? BAM i immediately visualise what pictures i would post on Facebook.

- It makes no sense, i barely touch Facebook but the first thing i want to do is post in it. I have done random interesting things in the past but i havent posted them on FB. But somehow when i visualise the future, Facebook is clogging my visions.
Tbh, i dont really want any "Likes", i dont care if zero people actually saw it.
But, Facebook just feels like a chronology, a resume of my very existance. Its almost as if I am not able to show SOMEONE what i will do, then there is no point doing it. Its like putting it on a wall for others to see, only then does it make it real.
Like, anything i want to do, has
UTILITY= "utility of doing x" + "utility of telling others i did x"
But in the end the second part of the equation doesnt FKING matter. I just dont care if i am noone to the whole world but 5-6 people, i really dont care.

As long as i am on Facebook, my decision making shall remain clouded by the second part of the equation. The only way to remove that is to actually deactivate my account.
I need to dream about things I want to do. Not things I want to show OTHERS that i did. I dont need a camera to make my life real, my eyes are all the camera i need. And it doesnt matter what i did in the PAST. Cos it is stupid to think about the past. It doesnt matter if my past was great or awesome or whatever. If I ever get Alzheimers and forget all my past and am still alive, does it actually reduce the value of the things i did in the past? No.
Long story short, Facebook clouds my decision making and reduces my quality of life in general as a result. That is the argument for why i would deactivate my account

- As for not deactivating, i have for a long time thought that Facebook allows me to be able to get back in touch with old friends if i ever need to. But that doesnt seem to be a sensible argument, because if i ever want to get in touch with someone through facebook, i can just search them on Facebook with their name or create a Temp account to find them, and check out their friends list if i have to find some FriendsofFriends.

But, yeah Facebook imo is just a parasite, and it makes sense to deactivate it.

 

[Hadoblado]

I decided a while back not to post on facebook anymore. It's not an honest place.

I still use it for communication and organisation. It's still useful. If you were to decide not to make posts, perhaps that would solve your problem without requiring you to cut off a social avenue?

 

[nanook]

I doubt that deleting facebook will delete what it represents to you psychologically, since its garden variety ego and over 99% of people are living through ego. You could perhaps use facebook to change how you relate to your persona, or - as persona - to life and to people. By deconstructing your persona. Showing so many different sides of yourself, that it becomes clear to you, that none of them is the whole truth or a limit of yourself, but many of them are potentially seeds of freedom. There is also a healthy side to taking into consideration how we can affect others. It would ironically be narcissistic, if we dealt with the difficulties of ego by trying to ignore "it" or rather the relationship with other egos, that it projects. Not even using facebook constructively and creatively is what most people do. They are just too fucking scared of being perceived in their vulnerable spontaneous creativity, as opposed to being safely reduced to their pure social status, their profession and such.

 

[Rixus]

I wonder if your issue is really with Facebook itself or your own perceptions. If you do not post on their, why do you care if you post on there? The things you've mentioned are fantasies. Perhaps when you fantasise about these things, part of the fantasy is how other people would then perceive your success? Perhaps it is simply a way of viewing the fantasy from another person's perspective?

Personally, I find Facebook to be a useful tool for various purposes. I use it as my primary messaging app because I can message anyone on my friends list easily, I follow a few online magazines for science and fitness news primarily, I'm part of a group that teaches fathers how to style their daughters' hair (obviously because I'm a single dad of two girls), I can argue with stupid people on science news when I want a little fun, my family can be kept up to date on the status of my kids without having to speak to them all the time.

The projection of a positive public persona is also very useful. The primary reason I started doing this was because when I first became a single parent, I was given a cacophony of men not being as good at this parenting thing as women. So I shove it in their faces that I'm a better parent than they are. Plus at that time my ex-wife was shouting to people that I would be a terrible parent etc., so I started projecting it to ensure it would be documented that I was indeed a good parent.

It is very useful for keeping in touch with older acquaintances I don't speak to as much now, that I would have otherwise lost contact with. This also means I don't need to keep close tabs on them in order to speak to them again. for example, after not seeing one friend for almost 10 years, we spoke again on Facebook and now go out of an evening once a year to catch up and occasionally chat via messenger.

Then there is the interesting psychology of watching how people use it and how often they use it. Sometime it can be highly amusing, some times disturbing, some times pitiful, some times it shows that they're really, really stupid. But either way, it gives me an interesting glimpse into who they are as a person. Even when all they do is share memes (why I do not know), what they chose to share says a lot about them and even what they get offended about says a lot about them.

That said, I don't take it too seriously. I chose what to and what not to share simply based on what perception I want others to have, and I may not bother. I may decide whether I want to post something about what I'm up to, but I may simply forget as it's not that important.

 

[redbaron]

yes

 

[nanook]

Really pisses me off how people are NOT using facebook properly.

1) they don't realize the fucking awesome potential that the internet is. they don't participate in world centricity, they don't care to co-create the future of humanity. they hide out in meaningless conformity and consumerism.

2) having friends who ignore your shit (who are just offline or whatever) feels worse than having no friends. i am not even asking for likes. a critical comment would be better than ignorance. so i keep shouting "you fucking traitors" at them all of the time. secretly. really kinda makes me hate my real life acquaintances. if you are not even going to participate in facebook forum action, better don't send me a friend request, please??? i am already in your fucking google address book, you don't need to add me on facebook, just to spy and judge and despise my efforts to connect.

 

[YOLOisonlyprinciple]

Tbh, the one real argument for why i shouldnt deactivate is that it helps me maintain a sense of sanity. Facebook reminds me what society is, what people are. Without facebook there is the potential of me falling totally out of touch with reality. I might forget what is the social norm, what humans do in their life. It is a somewhat decent guide to coming back to the normal, treaded path if i ever get lost in the woods

 

[onesteptwostep]

If you need it, you should keep it. If you don't need it, delete it.

I happen to need it so I can keep tabs on my friends across the world. I dunno about you.

 

[redbaron]

Tbh, the one real argument for why i shouldnt deactivate is that it helps me maintain a sense of sanity. Facebook reminds me what society is, what people are. Without facebook there is the potential of me falling totally out of touch with reality. I might forget what is the social norm, what humans do in their life. It is a somewhat decent guide to coming back to the normal, treaded path if i ever get lost in the woods

i feel like facebook reality isn't actually representative of reality though?

can't you identify social norms through interacting with people in real life as opposed to facebook?

 

[Jennywocky]

If you need it, you should keep it. If you don't need it, delete it.

I happen to need it so I can keep tabs on my friends across the world. I dunno about you.

That.

---

It can be useful for some things, and its benefits vary from person to person. So just do what you need to do for you.

 

[Black Rose]

@nanook

depending on what you mean by ego, I hope I am not one to live through my ego. I am very detached and nonjudgmental. I still have my emotions though.

One year ago I lost the password to my email. I lost access to Facebook and Youtube. I like facebook because I put all the books I read and movies I watched and pages I liked on it. But it had a dumb interface. I could not delete things from my wall that other put there because the option had no option called "I just want this fucking post off my wall". The interface is broken but I think the concept is still good: gathering all data on you and your social group. One time I saw on my feed in 2011 in the middle east war, a dead body where it was burnt alive and the intestines were popping out. This upset me and it was also difficult to get rid of. Currently, Mark Zuckerberg has hired ten thousand people to moderate live feeds ever since the incident where this 40-year-old black man streamed a live murder then suicide on his feed. Youtube deletes tons of violence and rape videos from its site every day. There is a flagging mechanism/report button to do this. It has been reported that Facebook is working on the fake news problem. One thing they did during the election is to filter conservative articles out of the streams of people's feeds so they would not become pro trump. Google pulled add revenue from millions of smaller youtube channels because big add companies pulled out. Now Google demonizes videos that it deemed inappropriate and videos that the advertisers don't want their ads on. Since I watch many Christian channels they have said they have been demonized because they are Christian channels. In the Truth community, the term "Fake news" is a code word for censorship. Since the media says Trump worked with the Russians to hack the elections many conservative are now calling the mainstream media fake news. Since Trump is not under investigation and Comey the FBI direct said so himself, Then I myself believe Trump when Trump says the mainstream media is fake news. They want to push the agenda and the lie that Trump cheated by working with the Russians. The real Truth is the Russians simple hate, Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton. Fake news is really censorship and lies by the mainstream.

 

[Happy]

Didn't read the thread, but regardless, the answer is a definite yes.

 

[Pyropyro]

Facebook is useful for keeping tabs on what is happening to other people and also acts as a relatively free means of communicating and networking.

Heck, we use FB to coordinate staff training and it works. Staff tend to get less shy on asking "stupid questions" if they chat it.

However, if you're using it for the envy fest then I suggest not using it at all. That would be a poor use of your time.

 

[Hadoblado]

Really pisses me off how people are NOT using facebook properly.

1) they don't realize the fucking awesome potential that the internet is. they don't participate in world centricity, they don't care to co-create the future of humanity. they hide out in meaningless conformity and consumerism.

2) having friends who ignore your shit (who are just offline or whatever) feels worse than having no friends. i am not even asking for likes. a critical comment would be better than ignorance. so i keep shouting "you fucking traitors" at them all of the time. secretly. really kinda makes me hate my real life acquaintances. if you are not even going to participate in facebook forum action, better don't send me a friend request, please??? i am already in your fucking google address book, you don't need to add me on facebook, just to spy and judge and despise my efforts to connect.

I think you don't understand why the other people are using facebook.

If I were your friend on facebook, I'd block your feed. It's not an act of betrayal. It's not that I don't value you (or anyone else I've blocked the feed of). I just don't care about the things that people post. I have no intention of participating in facebook forum action, and was never told this was an expectation when I signed up for the site.

If I friend someone, it's like adding having their phonenumber. I don't have to call them if I don't want to, but given sufficient reason to, I could. I could also check up on you within a moment if I wanted to. But that's nothing so insidious as spying or judgement.

Your anger doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

The only good use of facebook is to send less-than-urgent messages to close friends. The usual overflow of useless spam bullshit that is generated on there just makes me sick.

Same with Linkedin btw. It's good for contacting people sometimes, but otherwise it's just a bunch of monkeys spewing out an endless stream of noise and useless information.

Social media in general is just a circus of monkeys giving eachother likes and kissing eachother's asses.

 

[Black Rose]

Google pulled add revenue from millions of smaller youtube channels because big add companies pulled out. Now Google demonizes videos that it deemed inappropriate and videos that the advertisers don't want their ads on. Since I watch many Christian channels they have said they have been demonized because they are Christian channels.

My auto spelling checker sometimes is dumb.

The two blue words about should be demonetization.

Just needed to make that clear.

 

[Cogitant]

Only use Fakebook to talk to my family and a couple of close friends I have, and even then, rarely.

It depends what you want from it

-Some people are pretty addicted to hug-boxes.

​

 

[Reluctantly]

I deleted it cause I have no real friends on there, just acquaintances.

◉︵◉ *slits wrists* ◉︵◉

 

[The Gopher]

I think you don't understand why the other people are using facebook.

If I were your friend on facebook, I'd block your feed. It's not an act of betrayal. It's not that I don't value you (or anyone else I've blocked the feed of). I just don't care about the things that people post. I have no intention of participating in facebook forum action, and was never told this was an expectation when I signed up for the site.

If I friend someone, it's like adding having their phonenumber. I don't have to call them if I don't want to, but given sufficient reason to, I could. I could also check up on you within a moment if I wanted to. But that's nothing so insidious as spying or judgement.

Your anger doesn't make sense to me.

YOU BLOCKED MY FEED! HOW COULD YOU!

I deleted it cause I have no real friends on there, just acquaintances.

◉︵◉ *slits wrists* ◉︵◉

Do you have real friends anywhere else?

 

[Reluctantly]

Do you have real friends anywhere else?

Course.
❂‿❂ *sews up wrists* ❂‿❂

Unfortunately, the friends I've made in the last four years are gone and the one's I had before the army I slowly lost contact with. None of them use facebook.

◕︵◕ *cuts wrists again* ◕︵◕

 

[The Gopher]

We will be your friends!

NONONO STOP CUTTING YOUR WRISTS WE DON'T HAVE TO BE YOUR FRIENDS IT'S OK!

 

[washti]

Unfortunately, the friends I've made in the last four years are gone and the one's I had before the army

Go to another army!

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

Go to another army!

Or become a double-agent. Thus you can make friends on both sides! An excellent way of expanding one's social media profile.

 

[Puffy]

I deactivated Facebook as it doesn't offer much utility for me. Most people I'd like to keep in contact with have other means of reaching me, and I only like maintaining a small circle. It became an unnecessary distraction that wasn't very inconvenient to drop.

I'd probably not use Google either as I don't like it for related privacy reasons. The difference is that other sites I've used haven't provided me as good a user-experience or as much utility, so it's more of an inconvenience for me to replace it.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I know there exists some kind of people who deactivate Facebook so they don't see any kind of activity of lovers, friends and so on. Because they compare their current status to others. And they get even sad, angry and more for that.
I also know that when I moved activities among friends in real life I was getting high scores pics and comments. Now that my life is my own I hardly get more than 10 likes if I upload a certain pic.
That's how it works. Sadly not everyone is as loyal as me. I really try to be fair with my friends. And not leave them behind. I believe I never left behind anyone in my life. I progress on my own. I don't suck people's souls and then throw them away when I learned everything they could teach. I met so many people that work like this. They watch house of cards and mimic their TV heroes. The evil.
But who am I to say what's wrong and what's right. I surely think my posture is the best. But it doesnt matter at all. At all.

 

[Reluctantly]

We will be your friends!

NONONO STOP CUTTING YOUR WRISTS WE DON'T HAVE TO BE YOUR FRIENDS IT'S OK!

Alone with people, alone without.

Goodbye cruel Gopher

 

[Black Rose]

something dark this way comes

 

[Pizzabeak]

yeah

 

[Intolerable]

Really pisses me off how people are NOT using facebook properly.

1) they don't realize the fucking awesome potential that the internet is. they don't participate in world centricity, they don't care to co-create the future of humanity. they hide out in meaningless conformity and consumerism.

2) having friends who ignore your shit (who are just offline or whatever) feels worse than having no friends. i am not even asking for likes. a critical comment would be better than ignorance. so i keep shouting "you fucking traitors" at them all of the time. secretly. really kinda makes me hate my real life acquaintances. if you are not even going to participate in facebook forum action, better don't send me a friend request, please??? i am already in your fucking google address book, you don't need to add me on facebook, just to spy and judge and despise my efforts to connect.

It isn't your fault nor theirs.

Life is incredibly short for us and is only getting shorter the more distractions we have. I too added people when I was on there but never talked to them. If you asked me why I'd say all in the sad hopes of ever connecting to others but life and time restraints got in the way. I only truly have time for my immediate household family. Anything outside of that sadly doesn't exist in the day-to-day.

Needless to say Facebook goes when people realize they just don't have the time nor inclination to make good on that goal of networking.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Facebook rules and certain meme pages can be incredibly hilarious if you're browsing while stoned. That being said some of the bullying isn't cool but it's interesting to see people congregate on social issues and discussion as if it's really important. I rarely partake myself though.
Facebook has fallen off recently, unfortunately, for some reason. It's just gone stale.

 

[TheManBeyond]

I used messenger in Facebook to arrange meetings, to wake up people at morning for a beer, to tell my friend Im not lost just in the bed of that pretty girl, I sent selfies, videos, stickers. When you have got a group of friends it becomes a playground. Here in Spain people don't use it so much but when I was in Greece for all of us abroad students it was the most mportant organizative tool.

Its kind of sad to see how with time all of that dissolves. Facebook is planned to remind people someone is still alive. Not to shorten distances. That can only be done through real life interaction.
But you have got also tons of groups for whatever interest you have, activities happening in your city, etc. So if you are active and want to use it for your own good it can be useful too. Just look for things worth following.

I prefer instagram since it is focused more on the things people see than the relationships between people. A lot of really beautiful and creative posts and seems more intimate.

 

[Intolerable]

I used messenger in Facebook to arrange meetings, to wake up people at morning for a beer, to tell my friend Im not lost just in the bed of that pretty girl, I sent selfies, videos, stickers. When you have got a group of friends it becomes a playground. Here in Spain people don't use it so much but when I was in Greece for all of us abroad students it was the most mportant organizative tool.

Its kind of sad to see how with time all of that dissolves. Facebook is planned to remind people someone is still alive. Not to shorten distances. That can only be done through real life interaction.
But you have got also tons of groups for whatever interest you have, activities happening in your city, etc. So if you are active and want to use it for your own good it can be useful too. Just look for things worth following.

I prefer instagram since it is focused more on the things people see than the relationships between people. A lot of really beautiful and creative posts and seems more intimate.

There is no secret reason why online relationships are replacing local ones. They're easier, more focused on what we care about and have little consequence.

I vividly recall my 20s and the height of my local relationships. Hanging out with violent boozers and women who never liked me. It was torture being a part of that group. I didn't realize it until I was older that most of them were 30 IQ points shy of relating to me. Both the men and women. But for the most part they were my friends because they happened to be there. That's really the only way to justify it.

The downside of online relationships is they can feel vapid to someone who needs more. I never did. That's another thing I realized in hindsight. I feel needing the attention of random people is a curse I'd rather not have.

 

[wadlez]

I think you should not delete your facebook.

There is a good reason that you have found yourself compulsively dreaming about the repercussions of your actions on facebook. A large part of your brain is dedicated to
managing your social identity. Considering how what you do will will be displayed on your facebook account is a direct way to do this. Since you will not conciously try to be more social, your mind has taken an alternative path.

As an INTP you will probably neglect the values which Facebook represent (most others see their facebook account as their number one priority).
These values are very important though, and you should definately try to manage a healthy social identity.

It also keeps you in touch with reality, as bad as reality can be at times.