Sharing Your World

[bloozie]

I've been thinking about this for quite awhile and I think it could overlap with threads in this forum...

I'm really eager to connect with people on so many levels, but I sometimes find it frustrating when such connections are narrow or short-lived. This is more along the lines of having the same interests with someone else, but then other interests aren't mutual. For instance, the type of music that I listen to and one random subject that I'm interested in... One friend would like the music that I listen to but wouldn't like the subject that I'm interested in.. and vice-versa with other friends. I know that this may lead to the discussion about how we're all different and have varying interests so no two people can be completely alike... but, I'm just frustrated at the fact that the two biggest things that I really enjoy cannot be shared mutually with just one friend.

So, does anyone else here share this frustration also... or simply wondered why this happens? Unless, you're super lucky...

Keywords: Frustration, Connecting, Sharing.

 

[shoeless]

just gotta keep looking. it takes a while, sometimes. but there's always people out there that like the same things as you. not EVERYTHING of course, but especially if you're just talking about "the two biggest things", it's just a matter of getting lucky.

spoken from somebody who has found their counterpart.

trust me, they're out there.

 

[KazeCraven]

Hmm, interesting. I actually know a guy that suggests we shouldn't look for having everything in common for pragmatic reasons. In short, you can be married to someone but not feel obliged to always do things together (because all interests are not shared between the two of you). I thought it kinda fishy myself, but then it turns out he's polyamorous, so to each his own I guess.

I tend to not care too much so long as a person shares my intellectual interests. In fact, music is pretty important for me emotionally, but I know I have only about 5 minutes worth of meaningful discussion on that front so if someone doesn't share that with me, whatever. Conversely, I tend not to become friends who only have similar musical tastes to me, though that might change now that I'm playing a musical instrument I really love (violin).

In short, no, but I can definitely see why that'd be an issue.

 

[ShipwreckSilence]

Some of my best relationships, both with friends and mates, have been with people I had relatively little in common with. I met my best guy friend in HS. We started a band with a mutual friend and developed a lot of respect for each other over the years. That band was the only thing we really had in common but we are still strong friends long after it fell apart. He likes sports and grunge and is highly moral where as I like shopping and electronic music and am fairly amoral. Even though we lead very different lives, we enjoy learning from one another and getting to experience things we never would have otherwise. He learns why he shouldn't be wearing athletic socks with boat shoes and I learn how to correctly do a squat, etc...

Almost all my lasting friendships have a similar dynamic. I tend to look for people with qualities that I'd like to add to my life. I feel like they are a more solid ground to build a relationship on than interests are. Interests change much to frequently.

 

[snafupants]

the title to this thread sounds like a joni mitchell song

 

[grey matters]

I've been thinking about this for quite awhile and I think it could overlap with threads in this forum...

I'm really eager to connect with people on so many levels, but I sometimes find it frustrating when such connections are narrow or short-lived. This is more along the lines of having the same interests with someone else, but then other interests aren't mutual. For instance, the type of music that I listen to and one random subject that I'm interested in... One friend would like the music that I listen to but wouldn't like the subject that I'm interested in.. and vice-versa with other friends. I know that this may lead to the discussion about how we're all different and have varying interests so no two people can be completely alike... but, I'm just frustrated at the fact that the two biggest things that I really enjoy cannot be shared mutually with just one friend.

So, does anyone else here share this frustration also... or simply wondered why this happens? Unless, you're super lucky...

Keywords: Frustration, Connecting, Sharing.

Clone yourself and get it over with