MissQuote
kickin' at a tin can
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- Joined
- Mar 24, 2011
- Messages
- 1,169
I've been thinking on the interrelationship between these to things, self confidence and irrelevancy, within myself for the past day or two, no, a lot longer than that actually, I just only pegged the two words as the labels for my thoughts the past day or so. Including, of course, thinking about whether these are typical INTP attitudes.
To sum it up, I'm pretty confident in my competency, or ability to become competent of whatever, but I find most of my opinions and ideas ultimately close to irrelevant.
Isn't that a paradox in normal thinking though? Shouldn't feeling irrelevant mean one must feel low self worth? Well, if you were feeling it I guess. But that wasn't what I was meaning.
I am often surprised at how confident people are of themselves and their opinions, at how they seem to attach their opinions so much to their confidence. Like their worth is measured in part by how strong they come across and how important they make their point of view be understood, even when they do not have a clue what they are talking about!
I don't really find forming a strong opinion, or entering with one, to be of utmost importance in any sort of intellectual conversation. Now at the same time, I have had my emotions riled up terribly in several recent conversations, the worst time was when I was trying to actually express a certain idea, just for fun in the beginning, and it turned into an argument about how I wasn't understanding the definition of the word "science" with the other person refusing to try to be abstract in understanding me at all all the while telling me I am wrong. The thing that got to me the most was I was actually trying to make a point that resembled an opinion for once and it was being dismissed a s wrong without the other party trying to understand at all.
I think I need to bring this back around to where ever it was I was going with is.
So what are your ideas on, I don't know, anything I rambled about I guess, but mostly where confidence and irrelevancy fits into the INTP personality. Also as compared to other personalities.
Let's Edit for some clarity-
(the above is the thought scrambling that happens after a long chaotic day cooped up with ones whole family and then half a bottle of Shiraz to unwind at the end in the quiet)
-I don't find worth (as displayed by feelings of confidence) to need to have anything to do with whether anything one has to say is irrelevant.
-But, most everyone else I meet seems to need to feel relevant in order to have confidence and worth, evidenced often in the need to push an opinion even on inane subjects and especially on important subjects.
-I find the process of formulating and idea or opinion far more important that actually giving one, once a conclusion has been made about a subject it seems mostly irrelevant, certainly the bother of giving an opinion is far less interesting than listening to others opinions.
-My confidence lies in my ability to take in and properly sort all of the information, not in the ability to sway others to understanding it as I understand it.
-I can't find any reason real why being relevant in any way should have anything to do with whether a person is happy or confident or feels good about themselves of there ideas. I can understand that other people feel the need to be relevant, but I don't understand why they feel this way.
-At the same time I have noticed a tendency to get quite annoyed, more than I should, when I do decide to share an idea, making it possibly relevant by that alone, and it is dismissed because the other party did not attempt to understand it before deciding it was wrong. Whether or not my idea was wrong is not as important as whether or not it was understood before being decided on as being wrong.
-Now I am talking about myself too much.
-Wondering how the interplay between confidence and irrelevancy/relevancy plays out in the thoughts of other INTP's.
-Wondering how it plays out for other types.
-I think I've cleaned this up a bit better now? Does what the hell I was on about make more sense now?
To sum it up, I'm pretty confident in my competency, or ability to become competent of whatever, but I find most of my opinions and ideas ultimately close to irrelevant.
Isn't that a paradox in normal thinking though? Shouldn't feeling irrelevant mean one must feel low self worth? Well, if you were feeling it I guess. But that wasn't what I was meaning.
I am often surprised at how confident people are of themselves and their opinions, at how they seem to attach their opinions so much to their confidence. Like their worth is measured in part by how strong they come across and how important they make their point of view be understood, even when they do not have a clue what they are talking about!
I don't really find forming a strong opinion, or entering with one, to be of utmost importance in any sort of intellectual conversation. Now at the same time, I have had my emotions riled up terribly in several recent conversations, the worst time was when I was trying to actually express a certain idea, just for fun in the beginning, and it turned into an argument about how I wasn't understanding the definition of the word "science" with the other person refusing to try to be abstract in understanding me at all all the while telling me I am wrong. The thing that got to me the most was I was actually trying to make a point that resembled an opinion for once and it was being dismissed a s wrong without the other party trying to understand at all.
I think I need to bring this back around to where ever it was I was going with is.
So what are your ideas on, I don't know, anything I rambled about I guess, but mostly where confidence and irrelevancy fits into the INTP personality. Also as compared to other personalities.
Let's Edit for some clarity-
(the above is the thought scrambling that happens after a long chaotic day cooped up with ones whole family and then half a bottle of Shiraz to unwind at the end in the quiet)
-I don't find worth (as displayed by feelings of confidence) to need to have anything to do with whether anything one has to say is irrelevant.
-But, most everyone else I meet seems to need to feel relevant in order to have confidence and worth, evidenced often in the need to push an opinion even on inane subjects and especially on important subjects.
-I find the process of formulating and idea or opinion far more important that actually giving one, once a conclusion has been made about a subject it seems mostly irrelevant, certainly the bother of giving an opinion is far less interesting than listening to others opinions.
-My confidence lies in my ability to take in and properly sort all of the information, not in the ability to sway others to understanding it as I understand it.
-I can't find any reason real why being relevant in any way should have anything to do with whether a person is happy or confident or feels good about themselves of there ideas. I can understand that other people feel the need to be relevant, but I don't understand why they feel this way.
-At the same time I have noticed a tendency to get quite annoyed, more than I should, when I do decide to share an idea, making it possibly relevant by that alone, and it is dismissed because the other party did not attempt to understand it before deciding it was wrong. Whether or not my idea was wrong is not as important as whether or not it was understood before being decided on as being wrong.
-Now I am talking about myself too much.
-Wondering how the interplay between confidence and irrelevancy/relevancy plays out in the thoughts of other INTP's.
-Wondering how it plays out for other types.
-I think I've cleaned this up a bit better now? Does what the hell I was on about make more sense now?