Seeking any form of guidance.

[Inde_ed]

28 years old. No real skills of any sort that I've found. Unable to find a job anywhere. Not really sure what to do, where to start or anything. Any ideas?

 

[Duxwing]

Welcome to the forum, help is on the way!

@Architect
@Jennywocky
@Da Blob

(speaking to the three people I've called): Regarding the OP, can you help Indeed find his place in the world? Your experience would be most useful in this discussion.

-Duxwing

 

[Jennywocky]

1. Do you have any income at all? What about health insurance? how do you pay for clothes and food and gas?
2. Do you live with friends? With parents? In a magical treehouse? Where exactly? (Obviously it has Internet. )
3. Do you have any schooling past high school? What were your best subjects while you were in school?
4. Do you have any friends with whom you can network in order to acquire a job?
5. What do you do on a daily basis, with your free time?
6. What country do you live in? (Or state, if in the USA?)

 

[Tony3d]

https://hiringcenter.walmartstores.com/OnlineHiringCenter/initialPage.jsp

 

[Inde_ed]

1. Do you have any income at all? What about health insurance? how do you pay for clothes and food and gas?
2. Do you live with friends? With parents? In a magical treehouse? Where exactly? (Obviously it has Internet. )
3. Do you have any schooling past high school? What were your best subjects while you were in school?
4. Do you have any friends with whom you can network in order to acquire a job?
5. What do you do on a daily basis, with your free time?
6. What country do you live in? (Or state, if in the USA?)

1. No. Don't drive. Grandmother pays for stuff currently.
2. See 1.
3. Took a few classes in community college but my anxiety kept me from doing anything productive.
4. No.
5. Read, Look for jobs, browse the internet, game sometimes.
6. USA, Ohio.

 

[Jennywocky]

What's up with the anxiety thing? Are you being treated in therapy or on medication for it? If you feel open, can you describe the limitations of the anxiety upon your life?

Do you have a driver's license?

What's up with your parents? Are they still around, or do they live somewhere else? Have you had conflicts with them about the lack of a job?

 

[Architect]

There are approximately 1 trillion opportunities in the world at this moment that you can take advantage of and thereby find success. Since you are not taking advantage of any of those, we can only conclude that the problem is not finding the right opportunity, but you, so giving suggestions of things to try won't help. Why aren't you doing anything? That is the problem you have to solve. Since you didn't give us any indication of why that might be so, we can't help you at this juncture without a lot more information.

This is actually more general purpose advice; people are generally their own worst enemies. Usually falls into problems with their attitudes and habits.

 

[Inde_ed]

What's up with the anxiety thing? Are you being treated in therapy or on medication for it? If you feel open, can you describe the limitations of the anxiety upon your life?

Do you have a driver's license?

What's up with your parents? Are they still around, or do they live somewhere else? Have you had conflicts with them about the lack of a job?

I've been seeing a psych doctor and have been on meds...they temper it, but it is still pretty crippling. I've got generalized anxiety disorder and I'm agoraphobic. Never had my driver's license, can't even operate a riding lawnmower due to the anxiety.

They live elsewhere and my mother lives close enough to see me when she's off work. She's got her own psych-related issues so she understands mine.

 

[Da Blob]

28 years old. No real skills of any sort that I've found. Unable to find a job anywhere. Not really sure what to do, where to start or anything. Any ideas?

Often the only available jobs are the ones that no one wants, skills can be acquired On-The-Job and in this age of automation, job skills often consist of learning how to operate a single machine.

Finding a job with a promising future can be a real challenge in these times, but Temp Services often have openings for short-term assignments (after all that's how they stay in business).

If one shows up on time and performs assigned duties at the first few assignments, then the Temp Service might give one an opportunity to work a long term assignment.

Going back to school is an option, but perhaps it would be best to just attend a technical training school to increase the odds of employment after graduation.

Whatever the course of action one chooses, one has to act on that decision.

EDIT: BTW one might look into finding work as a night watchman (?)

 

[snafupants]

28 years old. No real skills of any sort that I've found. Unable to find a job anywhere. Not really sure what to do, where to start or anything. Any ideas?

What have you been doing over the last decade? (Edit: I'm seeing video games and books as I read through the thread).

Grandmother pays for stuff currently.

How much income do you need every month to sustain yourself?

You need a short-term escape plan for becoming financially independent.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

28 years old. No real skills of any sort that I've found. Unable to find a job anywhere. Not really sure what to do, where to start or anything. Any ideas?

Learn mathematics, statistics, numerical analysis to the level of 3rd year university. Learn how to computer program in R, C++, Matlab, Java, etc. Study up to high level finance and some basic accounting. Create a dossier of work. In a resume write down what you can do but don't allude to the fact that you have no university level education.

Good luck!

P.S. If you don't like these subjects, the same method can be used in any other field.

 

[Cognisant]

If you want to get over the agoraphobia get a job as a sales assistant or some other customer relations role, it'll quickly desensitise you to having to deal with people, also dealing with every moron society can throw at you will make you feel better about yourself.

 

[Duxwing]

If you want to get over the agoraphobia get a job as a sales assistant or some other customer relations role, it'll quickly desensitise you to having to deal with people, also dealing with every moron society can throw at you will make you feel better about yourself.

Prolonged exposure therapy this early in his recovery would likely make his agoraphobia worse. I like the general idea, but the implementation seems too much, too soon; nevertheless, I can't even be certain of this.

-Duxwing

 

[Ghost1986]

well, before seeing you had anxiety, i would have said to do an apprenticeship. knowing this now i would advise college. a lot of trades tend to have very rough people and depending how sensative you are, that could be a bad thing. so college would be a good idea. just make sure the college knows about your personal problems so you will have less pressure on you whial you adapt. whial in school i advise taking library studies. you will become a researching god! if you like ayanalist you could do accounting. engineering is also good. just dont get a humanities or social science degree. SS degrees are only useful if they come from a top university at the maters or PHD level.

 

[Inde_ed]

I try and apply for third shift stocking positions but never seem to have much luck getting a job. Though I just did apply for a petsmart that is ~10 minutes walking distance from me. Also going to look into Library Science courses at a nearby college, funny you brought that up Ghost. I'll have to probably work my meds around to pursue that though as I'll need to ride a bus to get there.

I wouldn't wish this anxiety on anyone, such a terrible thing to live with.

 

[Vrecknidj]

I've been seeing a psych doctor and have been on meds...they temper it, but it is still pretty crippling. I've got generalized anxiety disorder and I'm agoraphobic.

First, work out that stuff enough so that you can function. In the meantime, lean on anyone willing to feed you.

Now's not the time to be looking for a job. (For you, I mean, not in the market.)

 

[snafupants]

First, work out that stuff enough so that you can function. In the meantime, lean on anyone willing to feed you.

Now's not the time to be looking for a job. (For you, I mean, not in the market.)

I agree. The important thing short-term is mental health because it's a prerequisite for holding most jobs or basically operating in society. Get healthy, then acquire a job, maybe a girlfriend and place of your own later.

 

[Jennywocky]

First, work out that stuff enough so that you can function. In the meantime, lean on anyone willing to feed you.

Now's not the time to be looking for a job. (For you, I mean, not in the market.)

So when would the time be to start looking for a job, in your opinion?

I agree. The important thing short-term is mental health because it's a prerequisite for holding most jobs or basically operating in society. Get healthy, then acquire a job, maybe a girlfriend and place of your own later.

I think the caveat here is what the prognosis is and what level of health can reasonably be expected before one needs to look for work anyway. If someone is actually disabled to the point of not medically/psychologically being able to work, they can actually collect disability. But it doesn't sound like any disability is being collected. it also looks like the issue has been ongoing for some time (correct me if I am wrong). Suggesting for someone to wait until they get healthier, when health has not improved and is likely to not significantly improve, is basically saying, "do nothing."

So I guess that's my question. What's the prognosis been, what sort of progress has been made, and what kind of progress can be expected, reasonably? This is really a matter to work out with the therapist, since they would have the best gauge of what's going on and what the medical history has been. Also, the therapist will be the major support network here during the early stressed of facing employment and engaging people, so....

 

[Duxwing]

So when would the time be to start looking for a job, in your opinion?

If I may cut in, I suggest that @Inde_ed look for work continuously until he finds a job that he likes. Next, he should make a list of the things necessary to do that job and ensure that he can do them before applying. Of course, since his initial selection might be influenced by his abilities, I also suggest choosing a job based on all factors apart from mental health (provided that it will remain open for some time) and do odd jobs (if nothing else, housework) to help grandma pay the bills.

-Duxwing

P.S., Inde_ed, please forgive my use of third person; using 'you' would have been too vague.

 

[Analyzer]

hmm, what is library science and its career opportunities

 

[snafupants]

Suggesting for someone to wait until they get healthier, when health has not improved and is likely to not significantly improve, is basically saying, "do nothing."

@Jennywocky

Not at all, Jenny. You're making incorrect inferences.

Getting healthy could mean exercising more or seeking therapy.

I clearly would argue, perhaps like you might, that a fresh tack is required.

Here's the post you are probably referring to...

I agree. The important thing short-term is mental health because it's a prerequisite for holding most jobs or basically operating in society. Get healthy, then acquire a job, maybe a girlfriend and place of your own later.

Do you still feel I'm saying "do nothing" or something like that?

What part of "get healthy" says "do nothing" to you, Jenny?

Let's break this down further - if you're unhealthy and you get healthy, does that entail some change? Maybe. Is change commensurate with doing nothing, Jenny? Perhaps not.

I also take issue with your use of the word "wait," which is too passive.

 

[Jennywocky]

Do you still feel I'm saying "do nothing" or something like that?

What part of "get healthy" says "do nothing" to you, Jenny?

Let's break this down further - if you're unhealthy and you get healthy, does that entail some change? Maybe. Is change commensurate with doing nothing, Jenny? Perhaps not.

I also take issue with your use of the word "wait," which is too passive.

Then I think you need to be a little more explicit in your advice, Snaffy.

A few of you were making comments about "getting healthy" without defining exactly what that means, to someone who is asking for specific advice, and in a context that sounds like, "Just keep getting treated until you are well." Which is what he is already seemingly doing, at least by his definition.

Would we like to be helpful, Snaffy, or not? Then let's define more specifically what this advice actually means.

 

[snafupants]

Then I think you need to be a little more explicit in your advice, Snaffy.

You still made an incorrect inference.

A few of you were making comments about "getting healthy" without defining exactly what that means, to someone who is asking for specific advice, and in a context that sounds like, "Just keep getting treated until you are well." Which is what he is already seemingly doing, at least by his definition.

Getting healthy does not mean "do nothing," which promises to perpetuate the same ill-results. In many ways, I am saying the opposite of "do nothing," especially where doing nothing entails retaining the status quo. Try something different. PM me, if you like.

Would we like to be helpful, Snaffy, or not? Then let's define more specifically what this advice actually means.

Sure. Inde_ed, feel free to PM me about your problems and I can give you lifestyle tips.

I'm not going to define anything "more specifically" here, lest it be misconstrued.

 

[Ghost1986]

hmm, what is library science and its career opportunities

you learn the various aspects of being a librarian or archivist. you focus on communication, researching, cataloging and such. places you would work are school or university libraries or government or private archives. museums as well i would think.

http://www.ala.org/accreditedprograms/directory

 

[Da Blob]

There are only two ways to empower One's self. Adapt one's Self or adapt one's environment. Usually success is achieved by application of both in a balanced manner.

This can be done by seeking therapy along dual tracks, addressing both internal and external adaptations at the same time, accommodating when necessary and assimilating when possible.

Anxiety is usually anticipation of pain, an undefined dread, sometimes a Paradoxical Intervention can produce good results, but there are basic limitations to what any intervention can accomplish, for success can not be imposed by Meds or therapists, but to a certain extent must be self-generated or earned.

Still and all, this is one of my favorites...
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/201001/cool-intervention-8-paradoxical-interventions

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Learn mathematics, statistics, numerical analysis to the level of 3rd year university. Learn how to computer program in R, C++, Matlab, Java, etc. Study up to high level finance and some basic accounting. Create a dossier of work. In a resume write down what you can do but don't allude to the fact that you have no university level education.

Good luck!

P.S. If you don't like these subjects, the same method can be used in any other field.

Best advice so far. You need to aquire skills beyond reading and playing games. At least if you want a job you can find satisfying.

But there's something else you haven't mentioned; how do your job interviews go? Does your anxiety show? How do you act? Put yourself in the prospective employers shoes and imagine him staring at you. Is he seeing a nervous or sullen young man? Are you slouching, talking in a low voice, unenthusiastic? Would YOU hire you?

Are you even getting to the interview stage?

If not, I bet I know the reason. Are you just going in, filling out an application, turning it in to whoever and then leaving? You just wasted your time, your ink and their paper. They are NOT going to call you. You have to ask with your application in hand to speak to a manager or someone in human resources. If you're told they aren't available at the moment then ask if it's okay to wait. If they won't be available that day, show up the next day and ask again. They are not going to come to you. You have to agressively pursue them.

As to the idea of anxiety getting in your way and the suggestion that you stop looking until you are mentally ready to hold down a job, only you can answer if you are truly ready or not. You have to be in a state of mind where you can actually do what you will be hired to do. You have to find a way to overcome it. I wish you the best of luck in doing so.