See, to them, you're just a freak... Like me!

[Sugarpop]

On several occasion, there have been discussions on alienation and strangeness on this forum. We often express that we are weird, and sometimes it can seem as if we are boasting our eccentricities.

My facade to the so-called 'real life' is that of trickster nerd. I must admit that I often try to appear stranger in order to see how people might react.

To what extent do you see strangeness as an ideal? Do you ever find yourselves exaggerating certain traits to appear more eccentric?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

By appearance, I try to blend in as best as I can to escape notice. My behavior is quite different once I open up. I enjoy expressing a warped sense of humor and my laid back style makes me pretty easy to get along with. Little do they know how much I'd rather not be there.

Over the years, I've tended to find certain niches of oddity to fit into and then play it to the hilt. If I do it right, it is often appreciated. If not, I have to be told to stop.

 

[NoID10ts]

As I am sure you can all tell, I am as straight laced and non freakish as they come.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Obviously. You only expose your Noddy parts here. Thanks!

 

[NoID10ts]

Obviously. You only expose your Noddy parts here. Thanks!

Huh? This is the nice, straight laced stuff I post here. I don't know any of you enough to get relaxed and let loose.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I think Noddy parts have to let loose before they can relax.

 

[Minuend]

I don't like to stand out either. I say I'm weird 'cause I am.
In public, I try to hide that as best as I can. Though, according to one of my friends, I'm not very good at it =(

 

[NiDBiLD]

I tend to hunt down Judging types and debate some issue with them until they have no arguments left. Then I mass my facts over them until they physically escape me by leaving the party.

This is one of my greatest joys.

 

[Ermine]

On several occasion, there have been discussions on alienation and strangeness on this forum. We often express that we are weird, and sometimes it can seem as if we are boasting our eccentricities.

My facade to the so-called 'real life' is that of trickster nerd. I must admit that I often try to appear stranger in order to see how people might react.

To what extent do you see strangeness as an ideal? Do you ever find yourselves exaggerating certain traits to appear more eccentric?

I take pride in being weird, to an extent. I won't stop doing or saying something because it's weird.

However, I do make an effort to make myself look nice in order to blend in. I prefer to be weird, not look weird.

 

[Da Blob]

Well, one of the definitions of the word, weird, is 'supernatural' I like to play on that one...
it beats the heck out of being perceived as a "Nerd"

 

[chocolate]

No, I don't try to appear eccentric. I like to, and I do, appear very normal and even 'cool'. It takes a while for people to see the real me, at that point often they will say "you're such a nerd" or they'll laugh at me for my weird way of speaking (which is normal to me).

 

[Black Pat]

@ Sugarpop: "To what extent do you see strangeness as an ideal? Do you ever find yourselves exaggerating certain traits to appear more eccentric?"

Of course "strangeness" has no independent value, so more and less strange doesn't matter; it only matters relative to orthodoxy...In other words; sometimes orthodoxy is wrong; in which case "strangeness" is the ONLY route to an answer; or orthodoxy is correct; in which case "strangeness" is just, well, showing that you are kind of clever...sort of...

But yes; I often exaggerate my "strange" traits, but I usually do so to sift out orthodoxy so I can analyze whether I think it is great or not.

I f--king love that there are other INTPs by the way- I thought I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life, but now I'm kind of happy...

 

[Kuu]

I take pride in being weird, to an extent. I won't stop doing or saying something because it's weird.

However, I do make an effort to make myself look nice in order to blend in. I prefer to be weird, not look weird.

I have that sort of weird pride too. When people say I'm weird I say "thank you" or "so what?" or "you're boring" or "you say that as if it were a bad thing!" Either of those produce a "you're really weird" face.

I don't care much about looking weird. I try to look nice because I enjoy it, not to blend in. Not that I attempt to draw attention to myself, but neither do I attempt to hide. Of course, many times my sense of "nice" falls into what other people call "weird". But it makes no difference to me.

Sometimes I turn up the knob on the weirdness. Specially when meeting new people. It's a people filter, a test if you will, to sift out obnoxious SJ's (these give you the weird look and go away) or N types (Some will call you weird, but enjoy it. NPs bask in it and start weirdness duels).

 

[FacetiousPersona]

They are essentially noting your individuality with the term 'weird', which could easily be regarded as compliment. You link someone with high individuality as having a very distinct personality. You're not average joe that is another white sheep in the herd. You're the sheep that is randomly dyed blue and has quirky behavior. You may also associate this 'not average in personality' with being above or unique in other areas.

 

[Da Blob]

(Some will call you weird, but enjoy it. NPs bask in it and start weirdness duels)
Tekton

That sounds like fun.../
How does one start a Weirdness Dual thread?
a list of weird things I have done.. or said... or thought about doing...?
I mean treating each other weirdly would be rather redundant, it seems to be happening any way...

 

[Anling]

I admit that I enjoy my eccentricities. Being odd can have extremely amusing results. But most of the time I just blend in and try to project a do-not-bother-me field.

 

[hopefulmonster]

I think my eccentric nature and general spazziness works in my favor. The shallow vain asswipes immediately label me as a freak and feverishly avoid me.

Most of my friends have admitted that they initially approached me because I was so different and then ended up liking what they saw. Of course most of my friends are 20 years older then me so I doubt most people would consider my relationships healthy.

 

[Vexbeast]

I stare at people like this whenever they say something stupid: O__o

Apparently people think that's weird...

I think they should stop saying weird shit to me if they don't want to be stared at though. And to be totally honest, I don't see how they can consider it weird...

 

[jcb]

"To each new person I meet I am a mirror, a reflection. Although pleasant while it lasts, they never get to know the real me. After all, why look through the reflection when there is so much beauty within it!

Occasionally, however, I meet that rare soul, the carrier of the golden hammer; they only want to smash the mirror, to scorn their reflection and seek the ugly truth."

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

a 'friend' said to me the other day "you'll never get a girlfriend when you act like that and listen to heavy metal" i'll never get a girlfriend that dosen't enjoy such things.

i have three kinds of friends in my little group- those who smile and run away when i say odd things, those that hold their head in their hands but don't run away, and those that listen partially but are secretly thinking What The Fuck. none that can contribute more weirdness or truly understand.
and these are my friends.
i am perfectly happy not being around people and just being wierd on my own. my thoughts, my iPod and a solitary place are all i need. (don't need iPod but it helps)

i dont even reveal all on this forum, as i'm sure most of you don't

 

[truthseeker72]

Hello, fellow INTP'ers. After lurking for several days, I've decided to finally enter a discussion. After reading your posts, I feel an wonderful sense of relief knowing that I won't have to alter (dumb down) my writing style in order to allow people to understand me.

Regarding our collective "weirdness," I think the more precise term is "enigmatic." SJ's react to us with either a sense of annoyance, bewilderment, or curiosity. I've learned to tune out the first group. The second group, if they hang around me long enough, will eventually understand me, and the third group will actually take time to know me better. It is with this last group that I have experienced the most fulfilling relationships. Unfortunately, they constitute the minority.

My girlfriend of over two years (an ESTJ) remains in the second group. I wish she expressed more of an interest in my unconventional ideas. Whenever I ruminate on a concept that I've spent a lot of time developing in my head, she reacts with either a blank look, or some feeble response, followed by a quick change of the subject. Very frustrating! How many of you have experienced the same reactions from your SO? Is there any hope for improvement?

 

[DynamicMind]

I can be very serious and mature if I have to be, but most of the time I really enjoy being "weird". The people who I enjoy being around will play along with it and have fun...the other people are just fun to scare away.

 

[Vexbeast]

Hah... XD

Girls don't like heavy metal. They like pink things and unicorns! D: (read: your friends suck)

 

[Kuu]

I can be very serious and mature if I have to be, but most of the time I really enjoy being "weird".

Are you saying that you can't be serious and mature and weird at the same time?

(As I've come to learn, it is seen as weirder for others when I am all serious and talk about deep subjects, rather than just randomness or sillyness. They are familiar with random and silly, even if it is in their extravert and sensor ways. But seriousness and maturity are alien to them.)

 

[sagewolf]

[size=1(As I've come to learn, it is seen as weirder for others when I am all serious and talk about deep subjects, rather than just randomness or sillyness. They are familiar with random and silly, even if it is in their extravert and sensor ways. But seriousness and maturity are alien to them.)[/size]

Ahahahahah... YES. Being 'weird' in the same way that everyone else can be weird is well within my abilities, but being weird in a way that I think is me being normal: talking about something but being dead serious about it. They just don't know how to deal with that. Anymore I don't bloody bother.

Of course, I won't say I don't like being odd. I'm really good at it, actually. Two of my friends were playing charades once and one of them used me as a clue to indicate 'weird'. (Yes, the other one got the word after that. )

 

[Jesin]

Of course, I won't say I don't like being odd. I'm really good at it, actually. Two of my friends were playing charades once and one of them used me as a clue to indicate 'weird'. (Yes, the other one got the word after that. )

That would likely cause at least some temporary ego inflation.

 

[Ermine]

(As I've come to learn, it is seen as weirder for others when I am all serious and talk about deep subjects, rather than just randomness or sillyness. They are familiar with random and silly, even if it is in their extravert and sensor ways. But seriousness and maturity are alien to them.)

Same with me. I'm either weird in a "good" way, or weird in a bad way. People love my wacky sense of humor. They give me almost dirty looks when I carry around "Atlas Shrugged" like casual reading. When I show my intellectual side, I'm an alien.

 

[sagewolf]

That would likely cause at least some temporary ego inflation.

Hell yeah!

 

[jcb]

i've had countless moments where someone (who has only experienced the lighter, weird side of my personality) happens to be around when something strikes me as important and i've gone into serious mode.

the reaction is usually one of utter surprise bordering on fear - it's as though they've seen someone with multiple personality disorder switching from one to another for the first time.

all too often though, as i mentioned in my earlier post, i am a mirror, simply feeding the masses what they need to feel comfortable.

i vacillate between self-loathing and desperation all too often when it comes to human relationships. very occasionally i meet someone who is interested in me enough to observe the specimen long enough to grow fond of it.

the irony of this is that (i say this with a good dose of humility) i am an attractive man. females are drawn to me but my personality really makes women run for the hills.

im not a jerk, but i dont understand the social aspects of flirting etc. i have studied, pretty much, how to flirt and sustain the interest of women (seemed like a challenge to intellectualise something of an obviously non-intellectual nature).

i've even used it in practise with women, however hard as i try i cant keep up with the all the cues from her and at the same time know which ones to use next! hence i get to a certain point and then we end up sitting there looking around the room feeling awkward. then someones leaves to go to the bathroom or get a drink, never to return.

its fairly hilarious i guess, natures cruel little joke

 

[shadowmouse]

Freak is such a beautiful term : "very unusual and unexpected event or situation." but I suppose you are referring to this definition : "a person regarded as strange because of their unusual appearance or behavior"

I say the following : What they all think is irrelevant insomuch as your disregard of their opinions does not inhibit your ability to act and their opinions do not manifest in the form of obstruction of your own plans. While I'd be lying if I said I was unaffected by the opinions of those around me it is most certainly getting progressively easier to rationalize them all into irrelevance and move on with that which is truly important. I suppose the limiting factor is determining what level of detachment you are comfortable with. Do you want to be part despite your difference? Is fitting in that important? Is "belonging" a basic need? Its surprisingly easy to begin doubting the need for other people beyond a utilitarian role when that's all they seem to use you for. The court jester is only welcome so long as he's not too obtrusive. Part of me very much wishes I could refute my own experience since it's contrary to the way I'd like things to be. Hope that there is somewhere/someone out there where/with whom I might fully fit stubbornly refuses to die despite years of beatings and poisonings. I'll get it eventually.

Sorry I rambled. The take home message is : They really are all out to get you because they can't accept your differences. Bid your time until you can either get out and build your own utopia or till you can put on your jackboots and step through their pooling blood as you assert the truth as it needs to be seen. This is all.

To respond to the original question : Strangeness is a situational state that fades with time. Like novelty, it's half-life is short.

Unfortunately I'm much too powerless at this point to get away with the kind of eccentricity that is part and parcel of our type. But soon.... very soon.....

 

[loveofreason]

"To each new person I meet I am a mirror, a reflection. Although pleasant while it lasts, they never get to know the real me. After all, why look through the reflection when there is so much beauty within it!

Occasionally, however, I meet that rare soul, the carrier of the golden hammer; they only want to smash the mirror, to scorn their reflection and seek the ugly truth."

Bravo!

Mirroring is my primary - perhaps only - social function. I seek out eccentrics because they are the most fun to mirror; because interacting with them permits some portion of genuine self-expression; because I have to... actually, I rarely have to seek. I think there's some sub-lingual weird code... they find me.

So by congregating with other eccentrics I can behave more like parts of myself, but yes - to one day smash the mirror and be whole... to reveal the ugly truth. Show me the weird that wants to be broken. Show me the weird prepared to break.


Oh, and shadowmouse: I too still haven't lost that yearning to find 'my' people, "despite the years of beatings and poisonings." If I gave up I would die.

 

[shadowmouse]

Mirroring is fun. It teaches you so much about so many things. It's a pity I've lost the ability to empathize. It would make me a much more effective mirror.

lor: Then I must be on life support on my way out. Thanks for the prop though.

 

[loveofreason]

You'd be amazed how the damn thing rallies.

I thought I had it crushed many times, but it returns deeper and stronger to overturn every of my dead-thing-walking phases.

 

[cheese]

I think FacetiousPersona made a good point:

You link someone with high individuality as having a very distinct personality. You may also associate this 'not average in personality' with being above or unique in other areas.

I think this is why a lot of us try to play up our weirdness. We know we don't fit in, we know that we're (mostly) unaccepted, and the combination of angst and defiance arising from this expresses itself in a redoubled effort to be of worth - we turn our social flaws into virtues that raise us above the masses instead of merely separating us.

I do take some pride in my strange behaviour, because I see it as harmless flouting of needless convention, and a reinforcing of my individuality and independence of mind. (INFPs tend to do this too, probably more than us, but they're a little less bitter about it.) Weirdness that springs merely from a desire to shock I have little patience for - it must be truly rooted in the self to have a point.
You could argue of course that "a desire to shock" is in fact deeply rooted in some people, but if the branches of weirdness serve nothing beyond that purpose, neither expressing nor strengthening other aspects of the self, then it seems it a bit silly to me; meaningless rebellion is painful to tolerate.

Actually one problem I have now is that I feel I'm not weird enough, and fear being banished from this forum. I find myself wanting to be even more introverted, cold, anti-social and avoidant. I've spent so many years trying to be normal in some ways, and have assimilated so well as to lose some of my originality. 0.o Are there any INTPs out there who're a bit normal?

 

[Minuend]

Actually one problem I have now is that I feel I'm not weird enough, and fear being banished from this forum. I find myself wanting to be even more introverted, cold, anti-social and avoidant. I've spent so many years trying to be normal in some ways, and have assimilated so well as to lose some of my originality. 0.o Are there any INTPs out there who're a bit normal?

Hehe, I know what you mean. I'm kinda relieved being an INTP. Feeling like I belong, or that there are other people I can relate to. So I almost fear being different from other INTPs, meaning I don't belong here either. I too have lost some of my originality trying to fit in. I think a lot of my behavior is copy- pasted from my friends. Sort of.

I have my weird tendencies, but I would say I could be considered normal. I don't really know. Some times my friends say I'm weird, and i don't see what I did that was weird. I'm good at blending in, though. I dress normal and all that. My weirdness is hidden from those who don't know me.

 

[cheese]

^ What a relief! I sound about the same as you.

 

[Ermine]

Actually one problem I have now is that I feel I'm not weird enough, and fear being banished from this forum. I find myself wanting to be even more introverted, cold, anti-social and avoidant. I've spent so many years trying to be normal in some ways, and have assimilated so well as to lose some of my originality. 0.o Are there any INTPs out there who're a bit normal?

Well, I look normal and I'm friendly to everyone I meet if that counts. I don't show my weirdness unless I think I will be accepted and somewhat understood.

 

[cheese]

^ Yes, that's a bit of what I was getting at, but I also meant that I'm more normal than I used to be - my standards of weird occasionally give way to those of society's, and make me less tolerant.

I thought about it a little though, and I think I'm still just as weird on the inside. I walk along the street and feel like an alien completely unrelated to the people I pass - except for the homeless and the drunkards, for some reason. These are the only people who seem to be real. Other than that, I pass my day in a bit of a daze, often barely able to believe I exist in this world.

Ok, this is sounding good, I belong here! Phew!

 

[loveofreason]

I thought about it a little though, and I think I'm still just as weird on the inside. I walk along the street and feel like an alien completely unrelated to the people I pass - except for the homeless and the drunkards, for some reason. These are the only people who seem to be real. Other than that, I pass my day in a bit of a daze, often barely able to believe I exist in this world.

I get that all the time too. Alien.

Don't worry about not acting like the more visible members here. I'd hate to think a dominant culture was warping individuality, that would make us no better than the bullies out 'there'.

 

[NoID10ts]

love's an alien! I knew it!

 

[loveofreason]

I've never denied it, sweetie.

 

[NoID10ts]

Are you one of those weird anal probing variety?

 

[loveofreason]

I'm the completely normal anal-probing variety.

But stop. We're spamming a perfectly good thread.

Get out. Both of us.

To the Arena.

 

[sagewolf]

I'm an alien. ...Legally. O_o (I'm not an Irish national, is what I mean. Therefore I am an immigrant alien.)

Well, I look normal and I'm friendly to everyone I meet if that counts. I don't show my weirdness unless I think I will be accepted and somewhat understood.

I suppose I do that too, although no matter who I'm talking to I'll announce whatever odd things come into my mind. The people who really see my ability to be outgoing and weird are the best of my friends. But I have done completely wacked things to people I don't know that well. (Once a girl in my Art class lent me her copy and the first thing I did when I gave it back to her was ask if she could see the bird in the tribal design on the front. She gave me a look as weird as the question, took her copy, and left rather quickly for some reason.)

 

[cheese]

^ Yes, I used to do that too! I still do it occasionally but I've learned to use more acceptable modes of interaction with the Normal Ones. I know exactly what you mean about the weird look - ugh.

I get that all the time too. Alien.

Don't worry about not acting like the more visible members here. I'd hate to think a dominant culture was warping individuality, that would make us no better than the bullies out 'there'.

Yes, thanks but there IS an "us", and it's a group I finally feel at home in, so it's difficult not to feel slightly terrified that this'll also turn out wrong ("oh no, I fail at being a freak too" etc). But the acceptance is pleasant regardless.